WHAT OUR SPORTS MINISTER SHOULD SAY TO SOUTH AFRICA'S CRICKETERS (after all, he said it to our footballers)

It takes three to tango: Mbalula, Smith, Zuma

The right honourable Fikile Mbalula should have issued THIS statement on South Africa’s cricketers on Saturday afternoon.

As our world-beating Proteas slumped to a huge 281-run defeat against the poxy Australian sons-of-convicts, we need the same sort of wake-up call Mbaks offered Bafana Bafana when they crashed out of CHAN last month.

Why does our Sports Minister not feel the need to decry our cricketers and rugby players in the same way as he sticks it to our footballers? This was South Africa’s third heaviest run-margin defeat of all time, and it happened at fortress SuperSportPark with captain Graeme Smith attempting to blame the conditions. I can only imagine it has something to do with the inbuilt fear of white expertise which sadly lingers in our society.

Of course, just as Bafana can redeem themselves with a friendly win over Brazil on March 5, so the Proteas can fight back in this three-match series against the Australians. Hopefully they'll be fired up for the second Test starting at Port Elizabeth on February 20.

So I’ve crafted this for our beloved “bliksem hulle” sporting spokesman, based in all but detail on his annihilation of our beloved Bafana Bafana on January 19, the night after that awful 3-1 defeat against Nigeria’s third team:

“What I saw there was not a problem of coaching, it was a bunch of losers who don’t have any respect for this country, or any respect for anybody. We must never wake up to this again.

“What did we come to see? Just a bunch of unbearable, useless individuals. Let them be told their performance was not even lacklustre, it was useless.

“We indeed have a crisis of monumental proportions and this first Test match at Centurion has proved that. The mediocrity we saw over four days is disgraceful. On Saturday, we saw a bunch of losers who lost by over two hundred runs.

"We must go back to the drawing board. That mediocrity that was displayed… we must never wake up to this situation ever again.

“Let’s not jump at one man. The CSA must look at this thoroughly. Russell Domingo is not the only problem in the team. If we are united, Haroon Lorgat would not have spent sleepless nights negotiating to get the players in to the nets. We should have fielded our best team for this Test, not a mediocre team.

“Some of the players think it is their right to be in the Protea team, some have been there but never won anything. We must forget this generation of players.

“They don’t respect their parents, their girlfriends and the nation. There is a need for a new generation of players as the current crop doesn’t respect the country. England did it when they got rid of players like Kevin Pietersen, so why can’t we? They must make way.

“I love Graeme Smith but I don’t know what was going on in his head. He was playing in front of his home supporters and I’m sure even his family was there, but what he did was unthinkable.

“I could have scored more runs than him. He reminded me of that spinner we got from Pakistan, who doesn’t take any wickets.

"I felt like just standing up and walking out.

"I saw people lining up after the game to greet them ... I won't greet them, I didn't even call them."

The original video of Fikile Mbalula’s lambasting of Bafana is here:

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