DOLLY GOOD SHOW! Keagan finally jets off, let's hope it was worth the fuss

MANNEQUIN OF THE MOMENT: Keagan Dolly

COULD the Keagan Dolly saga really be over? Can we stop talking about buy-out clauses and Dispute Resolution Chambers? Can we finally focus on these strange swap deals involving Chippa United?

It appears to be so. Nobody move. Anything could yet happen. But in the wee hours of Sunday morning, French Ligue 1 club Montpellier, a modest 13th out of 20 on the latest table, announced the 23-year-old South Africa would sign for 1.7m Euros on a four year deal. That’s about R24.8m. Not bad for a lad bought from R6m from Ajax Cape Town three years ago.

Tokelo Rantie moved from Malmo to Bournemouth for the same fee of around £1.5m in 2013, but no South African club was involved. Same applies to Benni McCarthy. It’s a South African record, though with transfer fees more secretive than the President’s underpants, who really knows?

Since Dolly’s move to Mamelodi Sundowns in 2014, after spending a season on loan at his old club, Dolly has won the PSL title, the Nedbank Cup, the Telkom KO and the MTN8 before, as we all know, helping Masandawana to the African Champions League triumph three months ago.

Dolly’s name appeared in the CAF Best of Africa XI at the GLO awards to put the cap on a fantastic season for club and player, even Arsenal’s Alex Iwobi could only make the bench. 

But the end of his Sundowns career was blighted by a life-or-death struggle with Dolly’s agency, Siyavuma. Their boss, the no-nonsense pint-sized Yorkshireman Paul Mitchell actually employs Dolly’s dad Ramon, who was wheeled out on national radio to fight the good fight.

He’s a tough negotiator Mitchell, and he can burn the ears off any football journalist in the country when he feels he has been wronged. Again and again he told me: “Keagan’s done it all in South Africa, it’s time for him to move.” Curiously Sundowns chairman Patrice Motsepe was saying roughly the same thing at the same time.

When Sundowns successfully went to the PSL’s DRC to restore Dolly’s buy-out clause from 733,000 Euros (on his current signed contract in 2015) to £1.5m (the amount on his original contract in 2014), Mitchell went bonkers.

With Sundowns allowed to double the original bids offered last year by Greek giants Olympiakos and Montpellier, Mitchell could see his golden goose being slowly cooked as Manchester City’s City Group appeared to be keen on moving Dolly to their sister club New York City in the American MLS.

Mitchell was having none of it. The warm-afterglow of Sundowns’ African conquest quickly cooled as Mitchell and Sundowns officials went to war; serious threats and organised media campaigns followed. Mitchell claims he was threatened with jail for perjury, Sundowns claimed dodgy dealings were at play.

But in truth, what was the point? Dolly cost £1.5m at a time when Chinese clubs are offering ridiculous amounts for players coming to the end of their careers. It would barely buy you Olivier Giroud’s beard or Joe Hart’s gloves.

The deal was always on, the buy-out clause was a mere detail. It’s a bargain in current terms. Dolly said farewell to his Sundowns team-mates this week amid photogenic smiles as they returned to training over the ridiculously long Christmas break.

But it’s hard to leave with a grin when your club somehow managed to alter a signed contract, when your agent and your dad are forced to issue apologies.

Mitchell issued a statement as the deal approached closure, saying: “For Keagan to follow his dream of playing in Europe and to fly the South African flag high will be a dream come true.”

Let’s hope that’s true. The agent’s dreams have certainly come true. And Sundowns have made a 400 percent profit in three seasons.

But Dolly’s dreams? Let’s hope he doesn’t get Lost in France. Kermit Erasmus, a man with far more experience in Europe and South Africa, has just been loaned out by Rennes to Lens. It’s tough out there.

Montpellier may have seen some great names come through their ranks, but they are not giants of the French game right now. They last won a trophy in 2012.

Let’s hope we finally see a young South African explode in to the English Premier League or La Liga, or even Series A. We don’t have any at the moment. Dolly has the talent, but Bongani Khumalo can tell him how hard it is to move 5,000 miles and train in the frost for various coaches who don’t really know you.

Still, Dolly’s Wikipedia entry now states quite clearly: “Keagan Larenzo Dolly is a South African football player who plays as a midfielder for Montpellier in the League 1.” I’d love to know who edited that before he’s even played a game.

On Friday, local football media said Dolly had already had a medical in France. Before he'd left OR Tambo. There could yet be a twist in this sorry tale.

All the best Keagan, may the force be with you. Best avoid any future Star Wars.

South Africa's quest for leadership: all eyes on Milton "Micho" Sredojevic after AFCON 2017

CRANES DRIVER: Milutin "Micho" Sredojevic

SOUTH AFRICANS are suffering a football-free void until February 7 but while we wait for the domestic game to restart... keep an eye on Uganda.

Milutin Sredojević, also known as MICHO, is the 47-year-old Serbian who could be on the verge of joining Bafana Bafana after AFCON 2017.

He’s the bloke who got Uganda’s Cranes to the AFCON in Gabon which starts on January 14. While our blessed Bafana under Ephraim Mashaba couldn’t even get close, Micho somehow got Uganda to the final stages for the first time since they finished second in 1978.

With South Africa’s PSL on extended vacation until next month, all eyes will be on the 2017 African Nations Cup, with our neighbours Zimbabwe also making the cut and Cote D’Ivoire attempting to defend the title they won in Equatorial Guinea two years ago.

With Uganda’s FA struggling for cash - they don’t even have a kit sponsor - there has been talk of their precious Serbian coach failing to get the cash he was promised for getting the nation to Gabon.

With Ghana (17 Jan), Egypt (21 Jan) and Mali (Jan 25) in their uncompromising group at Afcon, few expect Micho’s men to progress to the latter stages. In qualifying, their Group D saw Uganda finish with four wins, a draw and a defeat to emerge behind Burkina Faso but ahead of Botswana and the Comoros as one of two best runners-up.

With a friendly against Tunisia away lined up for January 4, Micho is currently trying to select his best 23 for Gabon, before a warm-up tournament against Ivory Coast and Slovakia in the UAE.

But it’s what happens AFTER their first AFCON in 38 years we South Africans should be concerned about.

Weeks ago, when Bafana Bafana drew their final AFCON 2017 qualifier with Mauritania to finish third in their group, I was told SAFA president Danny Jordaan, having lost the NMB mayoral race against the DA’s Athol Trollop, had finally realised the state of South Africa’s national team during his absence.

Two weeks later, talks with Micho had - allegedly - taken place. I was told Bafana Bafana incumbent Ephraim “Shakes” Mashaba had too much political support to be summarily fired for an awful AFCON performance which featured players not good enough to play for their club sides..

Instead, Shaky was told he HAD to get four points from his first two World Cup 2018 qualifiers against Burkina Faso and Africa’s best side Senegal.

Incredibly, after an away draw which they deserved to win, South Africa beat Senegal at home - on the back of a dodgy penalty from Ghanaian referee Jonthan Lamptey, who was subsequently banned for three months - and Shaky appeared to be safe.

But no, Jordaan - who told BBC Africa a few weeks before that Mashaba “had to go, the outcry is too great” - then reacted to Mashaba’s understandable glee by firing our national head coach.

True, Mashaba wagged his finger at Jordaan and accused him of being “unsupportive” in front of several witnesses, but to fire Shaky after beating Senegal was distinctly dodgy. Suspension was followed by a kangaroo court and termination.

Why? Because Micho had been lined up by Jordaan, just as Carlos Queiroz had been told he had the job after Gordon Igesund but was rejected due to his required salary.

Just 24 hours before the guillotine fell on Mashaba’s neck, I’m told Dr Irvin Khoza - the PSL chairman who REALLY runs South African football - decided Micho would be a good replacement for caretaker coach Augusto Palacios at his own club, Orlando Pirates.

Which leaves us in an interesting position before Bafana resume their World Cup qualification process against Cape Verde Islands in August. 

I’m told Khoza, who put Micho in charge at Orlando with mixed fortunes in 2006, was the man who initially made contact with the Uganda coach two months ago. The compromise position: Mashaba (who has never proved himself at club level) could go to Pirates, who currently languish in an unacceptable TENTH in the PSL, allowing Micho to take the Bafana job.

The man himself insists he is focused on Uganda, he says: “Whatever you are hearing, I am loyal to Uganda. My contract expires in 2018 but  the bags of any coach are always half packed.

“I believe you have a top class team in South Africa. I admire good football and I believe you have a very, very good team. In life you never know.”

Whatever happens, Micho is contracted to Uganda until 2018. But if Uganda get hammered at AFCON, which is a distinct possibility, he’ll be sacked and available.

And Bafana, with a useful 4 points from their two World Cup qualifiers, may be too good to turn down.

When MICHO was last at Orlando Pirates, he complained about discipline problems HERE: http://www.iol.co.za/capeargus/sport/all-is-not-well-at-pirates-says-sredojevic-561513

THE LITTLE LION: Percy Tau heads to Japan on top of the world

CHAMPIONS OF AFRICA: Percy Tau (front right) can't quite believe it!

THE PERCY TAU PHENOMENON IS REAL. There was a time, not a year ago, when the only thing the little lion at Mamelodi Sundowns had in common with Lionel Messi was his diminutive stature.

But with Leonardo Castro suffering that long-term ankle injury, Tau returned to the regular starting line-up during Pitso Mosimane’s fabulous “back-door” African Champions League triumph and he has NEVER looked back.

He was the little lad sitting looking bemused during the celebrations in Egypt after KaboYellow were crowned continental kings. He no longer had to bring a cushion to matches for a long stint on the bench. He was a major part of a phenomenal success.

It was all too much for the 22-year-old who only got his matriculation certificate last year.

Vital goals in Africa have been followed by great goals in domestic competition. His second goal on Saturday against Free State Stars was a thing over wonder, nearly as spectacular as THAT last-gasp overhead equaliser from Baroka’s Oscarine Masuluke against Orlando Pirates.

Tau picked up the ball near the halfway line, cut a swathe through the falling Stars defence and put it through the legs of a defender and the goalkeeper to make it 4-1 to Sundowns on a day of serious confidence-building.

On Monday, Sundowns flew off to Japan for the FIFA Club World Cup with their heads held high. The shock defeat against Cape Town City on Wednesday was forgotten. Sundowns can go top of the PSL if they win all their games in hand.

Real Madrid and the rest of the world’s continental champions await them in Japan but Percy has an old head on those young shoulders. After yet another Man of the Match award, he said: “We did well, I just try to do what I know. The focus is on my football, nothing else.

”Yes, I do miss chances, but I’m happy to score two today.”

Coach Mosimane is nearly breathless in his praise: “Our boys, sometimes they can be naughty. We could have scored more. Percy at the moment is unbelievable. He’s scoring goals, and he’s growing, growing all the time.”

With Castro back in the starting eleven for the first time, Tau maintains his spot next to the CBD as the team heads for Japan. It gives Sundowns a lovely, free-running spirit to have Castro, Khama Billiat and Keagan Dolly up there with Tau.

Up to this point, general consensus indicated Tau, an academy product born in what was once known as Witbank, was way behind Dolly in the array of young South Africans who could break in to the top five leagues in Europe.

For years I questioned Dolly’s exclusion from the Bafana Bafana senior set-up. The same can be said for Tau, who never caught Ephraim “Shakes” Mashaba’s agent-jaundiced eye with the national squad.

But with Dolly’s road to Olympiacos in Greece blocked by stubborn Sundowns officials insisting the R10m buy-out clause in his contract was “a mistake” it could be Tau, “lion” in English, will be the man to poach in Japan.

He has the talent. He has the personality. He has the touch. South Africa longs for a player other than Sunderland’s elderly Steve Pienaar playing in Europe’s “Big Five” leagues. For our young lion Percy Tau, as Sundowns fans say, the Sky is the Limit!

MASHABA STANDS AT THE CROSS-ROADS: South Africa v Senegal will make or break Shaky

IN HIS FATHER'S FOOTSTEPS:
Lars Veldwijk, born in Holland,
sets foot in South Africa for the
first time today before joining
Dean Furman and Bafana Bafana
for Saturday's World Cup clash
against Senegal in Polokwane

DANNY JORDAAN and his national coach Ephraim Mashaba stand at a cross-roads on Saturday night. When Bafana Bafana face Senegal in Polokwane, one sign-post will read “Vision 2022 Avenue”, the other simply “Exit Road”.

It is, quite simply, Mashaba's glorious chance for redemption. Win, and be a hero. Lose (or draw) and Shaky is GONE.

Shakes, who has been shaky for sometime now, has long ignored the 86-page South African Technical master plan put forward by newly elected SAFA president Jordaan in October 2013. But for much of that time, it didn’t matter: Mayor Jordaan was off trying to save Nelson Mandela Bay for his beloved ANC.

During his lengthy absence from the hot-seat at SAFA House Jordaan famously said football was “just a hobby” and that he had “never earned a penny” from the job, despite evidence of an R80,000 honorarium just last year.

But once Jordaan had seen a man called Athol usurp him in the Eastern Cape, he came back with a bang, carrying the weighty Vision 2022 guide-lines like stone tablets from his political burning bush.

Having said “this cannot be the beginning it must be the end” after a final humiliating draw against Mauritania in AFCON 2017 Group M and having told BBC Africa’s correspondent “Mashaba cannot go on, the outcry is too great”, Jordaan finally made his Shaky frustrations clear on October 13.

And yes, the old Vision 2022 was at the heart of it. No matter than Mashaba continues to pick players who are not good enough for their club teams. Or that he got his son Thabo, a restaurant owner, to answer questions at a SAFA press confernce.

It was the dreaded Vision 2022 on the mind of Jordaan. He explained that Mashaba, after two years at the helm of South African football, had not fulfilled two of the major requirements of our nation’s footballing master-plan.

1 Mashaba was asked to provide a dossier on all South Africa’s foreign stars. Travel was required, and extensive research. Jordaan fumed: “We have a lot of overseas-based South African players that we don’t know much about and they are playing good football for their respective teams.”

2 Shaky was required to produce 24 names suitable for Qatar in 2022. This would consist of 8 players aged Under 17, Under 20 and Under 23. Again no progress: “He knows I want that list but I have not received it.”

Jordaan fumes: “This is what I’ve asked for and until today neither have been delivered. I asked him to give me a pool of players that we need to work on for our Vision 2022. The second plan was for him to go and assess players who are playing overseas.

“Neither of these programmes have landed on my desk yet, and I asked for them a long time ago.

“I believe these programmes are key elements to take Banana forward. I still want them and he knows it. If this doesn’t happen, I cannot be responsible for what happens.”

Typically, there was no response for Mashaba, other than to pick another squad laced with players who will be approaching 40 when the 2022 World Cup comes around. 

While Kamolhelo Mokotjo at FC Twente has just won Player of the Week, NONE of the foreign contingent picked by Mashaba - Andile Jali, Ayanda Patosi, Veldwijk, Thalani Serero and May Mahlangu - actually played for their clubs sides last weekend.

As for Vision 2022, Mashaba prefers to look for experience. Some of his domestic selections are understandable. 30-somethings Itumeleng Khune and the recalled Daine Klate are potential match-winners against a Senegal side packed with stars who perform every week in Europe. Keeper Khune has even started taking free-kicks around the opposition box for Kaizer Chiefs, perhaps he will argue over who takes with dead-eye Klate on Saturday.

Given Mashaba’s Afcon 2017 failure - Bafana finished third in Group M behind Cameroon and Mauritania - a significant improvement will be required to top World Cup 2018 Group D where the going is a lot tougher.

The heart-breaking 1-1 draw against Burkina Faso led to reports that Jordaan already had Mashaba’s replacement lined up - former England boss Roy Hodgson was mentioned along with the usual suspects - but from deep within the bowels of SAFA House, my source informs me Mashaba has allies.

Jordaan's blustering was ignored and publicly refuted. The compromise plan was hatched before the World Cup campaign began: if Mashaba could manage four points from his first two qualifiers, he would remain in place and Vision 2022 would have to take a back seat.

But if that four point target is not reached - in other words if Bafana don’t beat Senegal at the Peter Mokaba Stadium on Saturday evening - Mashaba will be GONE.

Worryingly, that would mean the new coach taking over for the two matches against Cape Verde with Vision 2022 strapped firmly to his back and Jordaan cracking the whip.

For that reason alone, we must pray for Mashaba’s success. A win over a Les Lions de la Teranga squad featuring just one local player plus the likes of Liverpool’s Sadio Mane and Lazio’s Diao Balde Keith - not to mention Stoke City’s recalled Mame Biram Diouf - will change everything for Mashaba.

With just one competitive win (over minnows Gambia) in 10 Afcon games since the 2-2 draw with Nigeria at the end of 2014, it’s a tall order. Mashaba can point to the early World Cup qualifying wins over Angola back in November 2015 as a hopeful sign, and a current unbeaten run of 13 games including friendlies and COSAFA clashes since the unexpected 3-1 defeat in Mauritania.

But Senegal's lions are not pussy cats. Already ahead of Algeria (35), only Afcon champions Ivory Coast (31) are above them (32) on the FIFA rankings, in 2012 they were languishing in 77th spot.

Mashaba has allowed South Africa to slip to 62nd on the rankings - our average since 1992 is 51st  — and the 12th best team in Africa can hardly expect to join the top five for the trip to Russia.

Mashaba says: "I think we have a team to stop Senegal. If you look at the players who played against Burkina Faso, their commitment was very high.”

But then in June, when the World Cup draw was made, he famously said: ““We could not have asked for a kinder draw. I am happy, but that does not mean it is going to be easy.”

The dry words of Vision 2022 do not allow for such self-delusion. They call for development, focus and discipline. The head-stroking, flashy-dressing Mashaba knows: it’s win or bust next week.

Though it looks a long shot, we can only pray for success on Saturday.

EXPOSING THE SHAMBLES AT SAFA: was AFCON 2017 qualification mandatory for Shaky? Will NOTHING be done before the World Cup qualifiers?

WHAT A TWIT! On Sept 6, Chimhavi says Mashaba's
only mandate is Russia 2018, Afcon 2017 failure is
clearly of no consequence to SAFA

THE rumblings at SAFA House have been bothering the nation since it our national football body built its R150m headquarters with FIFA Legacy Fund money before the 2010 World Cup had even kicked off.

It’s an uncomfortable place, lying in the shadow of Soccer City, the fading edifice now called the FNB Stadium, where crowds are becoming more and more difficult to draw as South African football tumbles down the slippery slope of maladministration.

Dominic Chimhavi, SAFA’s Head of Communications, neatly sums up the mess in a organisation where the elected president Danny Jordaan turned his back on football to lose the mayoral election in Nelson Mandela Bay.

Jordaan and I have been through the mill. I backed him to the hilt in the SAFA presidential elections, we met for lunch a couple of times at Nelson Mandela Square, he showed me how much of the FIFA World Cup legacy fund remained (I still have the documents, I’ve displayed them on television, still not seen significant grass roots spending) and when I stood up against national coach, Gordon Igesund for being influenced by agents, Danny came calling.

As the only journalist to actually give evidence to the Arendse Inquiry, I expressed concern when Ephraim Mashaba, know to be a client of super-agent Tim Sukazi, was given the biggest job in South African football in July 2014 after Igesund’s contract was not renewed.

But, as Jordaan explained, Shaky was the cheap option, Carlos Queiroz only heard the news that he was too expensive throught the media, having agreed to return to South Africa during Igesund’s CHAN 2013 failure on home soil.

Jordaan promised Mashaba would be tutored in modern tactics and methods by FIFA’s technical guru Gerard Houllier, he said a closer eye would be kept on agent influence, Dr Irvin Khoza came out and said Shaky was the first Bafana coach NOT to listen to agents.

But the predictable soon happened. After a successful 2015 Afcon qualifying campaign, Mashaba’s selection for the tournament in Equatorial Guinea was laughable. Strange names cropped up, Thulani Serero was thrown out. He rotated goalkeepers and captains, had no idea how to maintain a lead, and came home after a five-day disappearance with just one point.

By then SAFA was scrabbling for cover.  Jordaan told me Mashaba had NO mandate when he took the job, though Igesund was told finish top four in Afcon 2013 and qualify for Brazil 2016.

But as we drew with minnows Gambia at home and lost to Mauritania 3-1 on an artificial surface we weren’t prepared for, it became clear Mashaba had no idea how to run a national football team in the modern game. In 10 AFCON games since the away draw against Nigeria in late 2014, Bafana have won 1, drawn 6 and lost 3.

After the final draw against Mauritania at home this month, Bafana Bafana found themselves with 7 points, everyone knew they were OUT weeks before, yet SAFA hung on, saying they would not act until after the final game.

Curiously, after that match, the returning Jordaan (who said as mayor football was “just a hobby” and he “had never been paid a penny” in his SAFA role) said: “This must be the end of the journey, not the beginning, because this cannot lead us into the 2018 campaign, where we will play the giants of the African continent."

That led to some serious speculation. It look like the Mandela Challenge would be Mashaba's last game in charge, there were reports of a big-name foreign coach being appointed, from sources within shadowy SAFA House.

But the #shakyout campaign had about as much hope as #feesmustfall. The friendly 1-0 win over Egypt followed and there was Chimhavi telling me SAFA net would NOT  be discussing Mashaba’s future at the meeting over the weekend and that “the coach has to see through his mandate of qualifying for Russia 2018”. Fortunately I have a picture of this stunning tweet, which was retweeted by @safa_net.

So that, it appears, is that, for the #shakyout campaign. But people keep asking about Mashaba’s demise, so I tweeted THIS on Saturday:

Yes, as I've said repeatedly, @dchimhavi says #shaky's mandate was to qualify for WC2018, not @AFCON2017 @WASINATOR_95 @SAFA_net

Unbelievably, Chimhavi then tweeted: “When did I say that? Don’t put words into my mouth Mr Collins; teaching young journos bad traits”

DROWNING IN DENIAL Chimhavi digs deeper

So what’s a man to do? Look, I like Dominic, we travelled together with the AmaJimbos and I did a lot of work with the U17s thanks to him, and enjoyed his company.

But subsequent promises of travelling with Bafana to see Shakes in action first hand came to nothing on numerous occasions.

How can this man accuse me of misleading people when his tweet is clear as a bell: MASHABA’S MANDATE WAS RUSSIA 2018. Chimhavi said it. Afcon 2017 failure, a deep and significant blow which saw us come THIRD in the group, was rendered meaningless.

Now we go in to a World Cup qualifying campaign against might Group D rivals Senegal, Cape Verde and Burkina Faso, a far more daunting prospect than Cameroon, Mauritania and Gambia in AFCON 2017 Group M.

And Chimhavi tells us Mashaba’s failure will not matter. Has the report on South Africa’s disastrous campaign been delivered? Why did Shaky keep picking players not good enough for their clubs? Why did he treat Kamohelo Mokotjo so badly he retired from Bafana? Is there a correlation between certain agents and selection? Why is Shaky still involved in KeYona after being clearly told it wasn’t acceptable by SAFA?

But none of these questions matter. According to SAFA’s “head of communications” Mashaba’s mandate was World Cup 2018. In other words, he hasn’t even started yet.

Unbelievable.

From Shaky to shakier: Mashaba said "something special is brewing" but it was just decomposing

TIME TO GO: Ephraim "Shakes" Mashaba

ONE win in months. An endless list of excuses. Failure to address deep-seated failures in the organisation. Lacking qualified leadership. No, we're not talking Kaizer Chiefs. Or even the ANC. It's SOUTH AFRICAN FOOTBALL we have to worry about.

Our PSL ground to a halt after one game, with the opening round suffering record low attendances. For the first time in living memory we don't have a player in the top 5 leagues in Europe. Our national football team continues to hit new lows.

Thank God for Mamelodi Sundowns, I say. And yes, they are coached by the coach SAFA threw out.

Like a broken record, Pitso Mosimane's successor Ephraim Mashaba drones on. And on. A 1-1 home draw against a 10-man nation of slave owners. But listen carefully. Mashaba’s saying nothing. He’s going nowhere.

Third in Group M. Out of AFCON 2017 months ago, though neither coach nor president appeared to notice. One point from two games against Mauritania, ranked 104 in the world.

No admission of guilt from Shakes. No apology to the nation. Just a bizarre utterance concerning Zimbabwe’s Kharma Billiat, when Dino Ndlovu and Kermit Erasmus, resurrecting their striking careers on foreign fields, are ignored again and again by our national head coach.

As a lesson in motivation, Mashaba’s views on his strike force are best ignored. But here it is: "All the top strikers in the league are foreign. If I can have a player like Khama Billiat, then maybe we’d score more.”

But then Mashaba’s post-match comments cannot be expected to measure up to somebody like, say, Kaizer Chiefs coach-cum-poet Steve Komphela.

On June 5 this year, Mashaba said: "Can this be one of the best Bafana Bafana teams ever? Something special is brewing." Arrogant. Delusional. Out of touch. His current squad rarely rises above the awful.

He's even talked about winning the World Cup, in his mind, his team "completely dominates" every team Bafana plays against, he eagerly suggests the non-playing stars in his line-up will come good, it’s been this way since the 2-2 draw with Nigeria in 2014.

Up to that point, we were happy to put up with his bizarre lack of tactics, his weird decisions, that inexplicable head-rubbing goal celebration.

But by the time he’d selected his AFCON 2015 team, throwing out Thulani Serero in a deceitful rage, we were starting to suspect Mashaba wasn’t all he seemed. We finally began to understand why he hadn’t been snatched up to manage a club or left South Africa’s youth set-up apart from a brief failure with Swaziland.

There’s more: after the Mauritania debacle, the decision to let his old favourite Thamsanqa Gabuza take the penalty, the fact we didn’t try to exploit the visitors’ red card, the total lack of imagination.

Here’s more: “The way the boys are playing, I don’t doubt we’ll qualify for the World Cup,” he boasts, just before our qualifying group rivals Senegal became the ONLY side to qualify for Gabon next year with a perfect record.

And then: "We are really looking forward to qualifying with the team we are setting up, but we have one problem; how are we going to sort out the scoring problem?”

But that’s where this all started. We go in to the Mandela challenge against Egypt full of hope. South Africa have been winning friendlies and losing competitive games for decades. Remember the 2010 World Cup warm-ups? Unbeaten for months. The dodgy 3-0 win over Mali in Gabon just before AFCON 2015?

Best not examine those games too closely. They have given Mashaba an apparently impressive overall record 37 games, with 17 wins, 16 draws and just four defeats.

But look closer. Go back to that last AFCON 2015 qualifier in Nigeria, drawn 2-2 after two superb Tokelo Rantie goals. Since then, Bafana have played 10 Afcon games. Just one win, 7 draws, two defeats. You get a clearer picture. The real picture.

Mashaba is tactically bankrupt. He has no idea how to change a game with substitutes. Mr Rotation doesn’t even know who his captain, goalkeeper or penalty taker might be. He chooses players, as so many Bafana coaches before him, by listening to the loudest agent.

And for those, like me, who thought a technical director might help control a man who gets his son to ask questions in press conferences, Neil Tovey has been the biggest disappointment of all. Silent on all fronts, apart from SuperSport TV where he is paid for his views while pulling a big salary from SAFA. Unbelievable.

I have little doubt Shaky, who apparently still subscribes to Danny Jordaan’s Vision 2022 philosophy, will beat Egypt on Tuesday with five or six players close to 30.

And the SAFA President, just back from losing Nelson Mandela Bay to the DA, will no doubt tell us how wonderful everything is. It’s isn’t. We finished THIRD in AFCON Group M. Only ONE side qualifies for Russian 2018. Senegal are coming.

FOUR GAMES AT RIO, AND NOT A GOAL IN SIGHT: tales of the expected from our boys and girls

THE REDEEMER: Itumeleng Khune was magnificent
against Brazil in Rio but could not deny Denmark

IN summary: 360 minutes. Plenty of chances. NO GOALS.

Every South African footballer lover feared it would come to this. Four games played by our men’s and women’s teams at the Rio Olympics and still no scorers.

For Banyana Banyana, it comes as no great surprise. With no age restrictions on players, Vera Pauw’s team knew they were on a hiding to nothing, even after the hopeful 1-0 friendly defeat against the world’s No1 ranked women’s side, the USA.

The girls opened with a gritty display against Sweden, ranked 5th in the world. They showed little ambition but it took the classy Swedes an hour to conjure the only goal.

Against China, two or three early chances were missed and they went 1-0 down just before half-time before a long-range effort somehow squirmed past Roxanne Barker to give the world’s most populous nation a 2-0 win.

Next up? Brazil. Goodbye girls.

Owen da Gama’s men, in a competition which allows three over-age players in each U23 squad, can’t really look to world rankings given the format.

But no matter how you look at it, the opening 0-0 draw against hosts Brazil and their Barcelona superstar Neymar was impressive. Again, South Africa knew their limits. But until Mothobi Mvala’s naive red card, it could have gone either way.

Itumeleng Khune, the Bafana Bafana captain and Kaizer Chiefs No1, made three stunning saves, two of them from Neymar, to secure a vital point and hopes were high.

Game two against Denmark, who also drew their opener against Iraq 0-0, started with great optimism. Lebogang Mothiba (who should have done better) and Keagan Dolly (from range) both hit the cross-bar and for long periods, South Africa outplayed their European rivals.

There were saves at both ends, Itumeleng Khune somehow kept one out with his head and Jeppe Holberg made a series of blocks.

But in the 69th minute it was the Danish substitutes, Jacon Bruun Larsen and Robert Skov who confounded South Africa with Skov scoring the first goal in Group A as Tower Mathoho scurried across just too late to stop a devastating concession.

There had been a lot of talk from Da Gama, Dolly and Khune about “not making up the numbers” but in truth South Africa only qualified as third place finishers in Senegal on the back of Jody February’s penalty shoot-out heroics. Perhaps we were too optimistic.

Though not out-played by Brazil or Denmark, South Africa can take a lesson from our northern rivals. Nigeria managed to arrive in Brazil on the day of their opening game but still beat Japan 5-4 and then Sweden 1-0 to qualify for the quarter-finals with something to spare.

South Africa’s chances now look slim. With head-to-head the deciding factor, even a win over Iraq might not be enough in the men’s tournament, which features 16 nations and offers only the top two a route to the knock-out stages.

And Banyana Banyana, in a women’s gathering of 12 teams, cannot even make use of the two best third places on offer.

Still, Thursday night will provide another opportunity for South Africans to bite their nails and pull out their hair. A win over Iraq is imperative. And scoring is no longer an option.

REMEMBER WHAT NAPOLEON SAID ABOUT THE ROAD TO RUSSIA: From COSAFA to Rio Olympics... to the World Cup qualifiers

PENALTY KING: Gift Motupa scored twice from the spot

ARISE Sir Ephraim “Shakes” Mashaba. You lifted the COSAFA Castle Cup in Namibia with a young, untested Bafana Bafana squad. Nobody can EVER take that great night away from you.


But remember the words of another famous man who reached Russia with a squad of 600,000. Napoleon Bonaparte, who got to Moscow but paid the price, said: “To be defeated is pardonable. To be surprised? NEVER!”


Though it took penalties to defeat quarter-finalists Lesotho, ranked 155 in the world, the emphatic 5-1 semi-final win over Swaziland, ranked 117, was emphatic. And the gritty 3-2 win in the final at the Sam Nujoma Stadium was more entertaining than anything Euro 2016 could manage on Saturday.

We can safely ignore the bleating of Botswana’s coach Peter Butler, who said after his side had conceded two penalties and a goal that looked off-side: "This tournament will never gain any credibility when we have disgusting, atrocious, shameful refereeing.”

Butler conveniently forgot to mention the gift Reyaad Pieterse handed his side for their second goal, allowing an innocuous cross to slip through his gloves. And the first penalty was a clear-cut foul.

Though Butler, who played 70 games for West Ham in the early 90s, claimed Botswana “were the better side” and the refereeing was unquestionably poor, Bafana deserved their first taste of silverware since they last won the COSAFA Cup in 2008.

Mashaba was far calmer afterwards as his young squad danced with joy in Windhoek: “Well done to Botswana, they played very well, but we expected this.

“Since COSAFA started for us, we always came from behind and that shows the character is there.”

After a brief questioning of how COSAFA can actually improve football in South Africa, Mashaba should now shift his attention to the World Cup qualifiers, instead it appears he will now focus on the Rio Olympics with these youngsters, who fly straight out for a friendly in Japan with a week off before travelling to Brazil.

Rio will give South Africa some idea of where we REALLY stand in world football after a torrid two years under Mashaba’s leadership. Whether he will recall some of the heroes of Senegal or stick with the COSAFA squad remains unclear. Obviously Keagan Dolly will be roped in, but names like Norodien, Farmer and Lakay have quietly faded.

On their return, the U23s may or may not form the spine of the new Bafana side who face a tough task qualifying from Group D of the African World Cup qualifiers.

Worryingly, many in the South Africa media described Friday’s draw in Cairo as “easy”, but it’s not. In terms of world rankings alone, we are stuck in the 3rd toughest group of five. And only the group winners go to Russia.

Mashaba must accept vast improvement is needed. Having failed to qualify from Group M for AFCON 2017 in Gabon, Group D presents more serious problems.

The AFCON group WAS easy. Look at the world rankings. Cameroon 58, Mauritania 121 and Gambia 165. Compare that to the World Cup group: Senegal 41, Cape Verde 49 and Burkina Faso 73.

And we couldn't even manage a best runners-up spot for Gabon next year.

It appears Mashaba has coasted through his AFCON qualifying failure with a little help from the COSAFA success. We go in to the World Cup with a coach many are questioning and SAFA, with their President involved in the PE Mayoral race and Technical Director analysing Euro 2016 on TV, apparently unconcerned by what has gone before.

Mashaba himself says: "We could not have asked for a kinder draw. I'm happy but that does not mean it is going to be easy.

"There is no second best at this stage, only top teams in the group will be at the World Cup. We should be among them.”

But clearly he hasn’t noticed how many top level stars now play for Senegal, or how Cape Verde have gone to great lengths to attract players to strengthen their national squad. And Burkina Faso, the only side ranked lower than South Africa’s 68, are no pushovers either.

It’s not a matter of “we should make it”, Bafana Bafana under Mashaba remain minnows in the continental pool. If he gets our boys to Russia, Mashaba will confound the experts, tear up the form book. If only he realised that. Just look what happened to Napoleon after Moscow.



KAIZER CHIEFS NEW SIGNINGS

Below are the 21 names who have been in talks with Bobby Motaung since he discarded 20 players on the club web-site on May 31.

I believe the first 11 are CONFIRMED for 11am tomorrow when Football Manager Motaung announces his names, with the two youngsters taking the count to 13.

TWO of the additional players requiring fees may be unveiled, Anthony Laffor is close to moving from Mamelodi Sundowns. Apparently Motaung is hoping the stated fees for the remaining players will fall closer to the start of the season. 


The big overseas names like Steven Pienaar, released by Everton, and Tokelo Rantie, unwanted at Bournemouth last season, are not among them, though May Mahlangu and Anele Ncongca are "nearly affordable".

Bobby is keen on naming 20 players - equal to the number of unwanted - but will ultimately hand over a far more economical squad to Steve Komphela for the new season.

CONFIRMED:

1 Keagan Buchanan, 25, Bloemfontein Celtic (free) Midfield

2 Sbu Khumalo, 26, SuperSport United (swap with Keagan Ritchie) Defender

3 Ramahlwe Mphahlele, 26, Mamelodi Sundowns (free, signed pre-contract) Defender

4 Mitchell Katsairo, 26, Chicken Inn (R3m deal) Striker

5 Edmore Chirambadare, 24, Chicken Inn (R750,000 deal) Striker

6 Lebohang Mokoena, 29, Mamelodi Sundowns (free, released) Striker/wing

7 Kudakwashe Mahachi, 22, Golden Arrows/Mamelodi Sundowns (free) Midfielder

8 Evans Rusike, 25, Maritzburg United (possible fee) Striker

9 Joseph Molangoane, 28, Chippa United (free) Midfielder

10 Ennocent Mkhabula, 27, SuperSport United (released, free) Midfielder

11 Siphelele Ntshangase, 23, Black Leopards (disputed) Mid/striker

KIDS

1 Emmanuel Letlotlo, 18, Asidlali (new contract, promoted) Striker

2 Aviwe Nyamende, 23, Shumba Academy (new contract) Defender

FEES REQUIRED

1 Thamsanqa Sangweni, 27, Golden Arrows (R4m) Midfielder

2 Sibusiso Vilakazi, 26, Bidvest Wits (R12m) Midfielder

3 Justice Chabalala, ??, Free State Stars (R5m)

4 Thapelo Morena, 22, Bloem Celtic (R6m)

5 Prince Nxumalo, Ajax Cape Town (R4m) Striker

6 Anthony Laffor, Mamelodi Sundowns (R4m) Striker

7 Charlton Mashumba, Jomo Cosmos (R3m) Striker

8 Bantu Mzwakali, 22, Ajax Cape Town (R6m) Midfielder