SIMPLY NDORABLE: the astonishing rise of Orlando Pirates and their goal-happy TENdai!

TEN FOR TENDAI: Ndoro is in a rich run of form

SIMPLY NDORABLE. The fairytale of Tinkler Ball. An Orlando Pirates revival that has become too impressive to ignore. And too bizarre to leave unexplored.

In truth, WWWWDWWWW since February 21 should never have happened. Coach Eric Tinkler was widely touted for the axe after the CAF Confederations final defeat at the start of December, but his chairman Irvin Khoza just never got around to chopping off his coach's head.

The man popularly known as #Tinklerout remained in charge confiding in me “what will be, will be, that’s football” as he struggled from game to game before Christmas. At one point the mighty Buccaneers, double treble winners just four years ago, looked a hopeless case in 13th position, just above the top three. Unthinkable for a side NEVER relegated. 

The Sea Robbers, as their nickname suggested, were all at sea complete with leaking ship and powderless cannons.

It got worse. Kermit Erasmus went overboard without warning, and left for France, Thamsanqa Gabuza walked the plank, disappearing from the squad with apparent burn-out. Tinkler, scrambling for a life jacket in an ocean of despair, turned to a 27-year-old from Luwewe in Zimbabwe called Tendai Ndoro. It was sink or swim.

A Chicken Inn product, Ndoro was impressive at Aces, where he scored 14 goals in 41 games, before the big move to Soweto. But despite what looked to me to be a sharp pre-season, Ndoro languished on the bench at Pirates for months. He was lucky to even get a seat as Tinkler stuck with Erasmus, Gabuza and the curiously sluggish Lehlohonolo Majoro.

TOLD YOU SO! My tweet in September last year
questioning the disappearance of Tendai Ndoro

On September 15, 2015, I tweeted about Ndoro being surplus to requirements and sent an SMS to Eric Tinkler, a coach who is always polite enough to reply. He said Tendai was not training well, and had confidence problems. 

But needs must. Let’s return to the low point: 3-0 down at half-time to rock-bottom Maritzburg United on January 16, Ndoro comes on at half-time, fails to score but they grab a point, 3-3.

There’s a few up and downs after that but February 21 is the key point. With Gabuza and Erasmus gone, Ndoro scored in the 3-1 win over an in-form Aces in Mpumalanga.

And then the run began. With Chiefs STILL stuck winless since February 20, here’s the full story of Pirates revival with Ndoro’s goals listed:

21 Feb: 3-1 Aces (a) Ndoro 1

27 Feb: 1-0 Celtic (h)

5 March: 2-0 Chiefs (a) Ndoro 2

12 March: 5-0 Cosmos (h) Ndoro 1

16 March: 0-1 Wits (a)

3 April: 3-1 Cosmos (a) Ndoro 2

9 April: Free State Stars 1-0 (h) Ndoro 1

16 April: Arrows 4-1 (a) Nodder 2

23 April Sundowns 2-0 (a) Ndoro 1

Nine games in all competitions, one defeat.. and TEN GOALS for Tendai Ndoro. Pirates have gone WWWWLWWWW while rivals Chiefs are on a run of DDLLLLLD since mid February. Incredible.

During that time, Tebogo Moloi, the long-running assistant boss at Pirates, has disappeared on long leave. Fitness coach Warren Engelbrecht and effervescent goalkeeping trainer Rowen Fernandez sit alongside Tinkler.

Captain Oupa Manyisa has been out injured and has yet to return. Gabuza has played twice for Bafana but not for Pirates. Crowds at the Orlando Stadium have dipped below 3,000. The Iron Duke called a press conference not to announce exciting new developments but to mark the retirement of near-legendary centre-back Siya Sangweni.

The pressure has never eased. Even at 0-0 against Sundowns on Saturday night, the Ghost were haunting Tinkler. Saying he was tactically inept, should have made changes, was hopeless.

But Tinkler just gritted his teeth and held on, as he has ever since Roger de Sa left for Ajax Cape Town two years ago, even when unlamented Vladimir Vermecovic was making a hash of it. Tinkler doesn’t quit. He hangs on despite the odds. And it worked. Down to ten men, Ndoro scored in extra-time, then made the second goal.

And Tinkler, through to the Nedbank Cup semi-finals, was left smiling: “We were down to 10 and I had to play that way. I knew they would be vulnerable to the break away… and they were.”

Ndoro, with his streaky hair and slick demeanour said simply: “We work hard. We work as a team. We want the Nedbank Cup.”

Now breathing over the shoulders of arch-rivals Kaizer Chiefs in the PSL and threatening the top four, Tinkler and Ndoro lifting silverware would be the icing on the cake.

And given the position at Christmas, a true footballing fairy tale.

SIMPLY NDORABLE: How Tendai finally grabbed his chance with a Soweto Derby double

THE THREE-HOUR HAIRCUT: Tendai
Ndoro shows off the style... and the Man
of the match Nedbank Green Jacket

TENDAI NDORO. Talk of the town. Two goals to win Saturday's Soweto Derby. Did it come as a surprise? Hope not, I've been talking about him for months.

Right at the start of the season, when the 27-year-old Zimbabwean striker appeared in Orlando Pirates gear for the first time, you could see the exuberance in the man from Harare, his natural knack of challenging defenders, finding the target.

It wasn’t surprising. Ndoro scored seven for Mpumalanga’s Black Aces in his first six months in 2014, I remember one night wishing out loud on Twitter that he would somehow stumble across a South African passport and help solve the Bafana Bafana striker crisis.

When Mamelodi Sundowns and Pirates showed interest, Tendai - full name Takudzwa - might have been bewildered by his agent claiming English Premier League club Crystal Palace were interested. But he really did look that good.

A deal with Pirates finally emerged at the start of the season - Aces claimed he had another year to run on his contract but he found himself training with the Buccaneers by the time the season got underway.

Yet Ndoro found himself low down in the pecking order under Eric Tinkler. For months he watched as Kermit Erasmus, Thami Gabuza and Lehlohonolo Majoro took their places up front with varying levels of mediocrity.

At the time, with Pirates struggling in the lower half of the PSL, Ndoro said: “Talking about leaving Pirates in search of game time is something that is not in my vocabulary.” But you knew, in your heart, it wasn’t right.

I mentioned Ndoro’s life in limbo several times on Twitter. Nobody said much. But when Erasmus, claiming he was off to see the in-laws in Holland, signed for Rennes in France, Ndoro finally found himself taking a quick-step up the ladder.

Tinkler had little choice but to pick him as Gabuza self-destructed in front of goal and suddenly the cushion was discarded for the scoring boots. The games - and the goals - began to flow.

In the build-up to the Nedbank Cup Soweto Derby clash on Saturday, many were debating who should start up front. I said Ndoro was the obvious choice, though many felt Gabuza and Majoro were more likely.

Then God - the beardy guy who sometimes still brings out the old leather football boots - took a hand. Majoro did his hamstring in training and Ndoro secured his place.

He had a half-chance early on, then Kaizer Chiefs took over and hope began to fade. For 77 minutes, we suffered out way through the usual Soweto Derby boredom with an unusually sparse crowd.

Until the 77th minute. Mpho Makola put through a lovely ball which split the AmaKhosi’s makeshift defence. Good ball, but bouncing awkwardly. Ndoro brought it down in an instant, and to general hysteria, lashed the first goal past Reyaad Pieterse.

Five minutes later, he was at it again, banging in a laid-off free-kick low past Pieterse, bouncing in to the far corner. GAME OVER, though Ndoro produced a final curling shot just beyond the angle as he chased the fabled Soweto Derby hat-trick.

Afterwards, crowned Man of the Match with a hair-style he admits takes three hours to compose, Ndoro oozed: “That was my first Soweto Derby and I got two goals. That’s something you have to admire! I want to continue doing that, and not just in the derbies.

“Second half we wanted that one goal and we got it. That goal boosted us and helped us to get another one. I was pleased with it. Control, shoot, score.”

Tinkler explained Ndoro’s long-term exclusion by saying: “Tendai’s work-rate needed to increase. We’re a team in which everybody needs to work, and we can see he is doing that now.”

Then: “The way he expresses himself is important. We know Tendai has great ability in front of goal, when he gets the opportunity he must shoot because we know that nine out of 10 times he will hit the back of the net.”

Which rather begs the question: why didn’t we see more of him earlier in the season?

The South African transfer window: is it open or is it broken?

Forgotten man: Tenda Ndoro at Orlando Pirates

THE official PSL account on twitter announced it proudly at exactly 8am this morning: “The domestic transfer window is officially open.”

After that, just the creak of that opening window and tumbleweed blowing through the league’s offices in Parktown until the closing of a slightly cracked window at 5pm on Friday, January 29.

Sadly, the South African transfer system appears to be broken. Or at the very least, in need of a thorough clean. Every six months we talk about big moves that SHOULD happen, how our R9m record fee SHOULD be broken, how Kaizer Chiefs or Orlando Pirates SHOULD have enough money for a match-winner.

But it simply doesn’t happen. In fact, since Mamelodi Sundowns stopped spending Patrice Motsepe’s billions two seasons ago, our transfer market has become something of a joke.

While the rest of the football-speaking world lashes out record-breaking millions, the best a PSL club has ever managed was the reputed R9m Sundowns played Ajax Cape Town for Khama Billiat in August 2013.

In current terms, R9m amounts to about 400,000 British pounds. Even third tier clubs pay more than that in Europe. Remember, when they were still a Championship club, Bournemouth paid 2.5m (R70m) for Bafana Bafana striker Tokelo Rantie in August 2013, around the same time Billiat was leaving Cape Town for Tshwane. And he’s played 10mins in the Premier League this season.

The enormous fees paid in Europe cannot be matched in Africa... but the collapse of South Africa's fee-system remains a staggering but unwritten sensation.

There are obvious players who SHOULD demand more than R9m in the PSL today. Siphelele Ntshangase languishes with NFD club Black Leopards, teenager Phakamani Mahlambi and his Bidvest Wits team-mate Sibusiso Vilakasi should be tempting the Soweto giants.

And for lesser fees, Tendai Ndoro, Thabo Qalinge, David Zulu and Lehlohonolo Majoro are among the obvious targets as they warm benches at Pirates and Chiefs. And then you have the current PSL top scorers, Daine Klate and Collins Mbesuma, two men let go by the big clubs, plying their trade with significant success for Wits and Mpumalanga Black Aces.

So will we see a big transfer swoop this window? Probably not. In South Africa, coaches are rarely allowed to splash out money like they are in Europe. Here, technical directors and general managers do the deals directly with agents.

As I have documented here many times, Stuart Baxter left Chiefs because Bobby Motaung would not allow him a say on recruitment after last season's record breaking PSL title triumph. James Keene, the English journeyman who trialled brightly at Naturena, has just been snapped up by Gavin Hunt and Jose Ferreira at big-spending minnows Wits a year after Chiefs refused to make a move.

The problem is the agent/club link. Transfer fees are seen as money "wasted" when it can be split between the officials involved in the deal. The days of small clubs part-funding themselves with transfer fees from the giants appear to be over.

That’s why Tim Sukazi, currently the most successful agent in South Africa thanks to his strong links to national coach Shakes Mashaba, shifted his players around a year ago. Tshepo Gumede and Siyabonga Mpontshane went to Orlando Pirates while Tlou Segolela went the other way to Platinum Stars. All three were presented as BIG SIGNINGS but in truth, it was a swap deal which has resulted in very little for either club but a nice slice of the pie for everyone involved except the clubs.

When Kaizer Chiefs top scorer Mandla Masango and PSL player of the season Tefu Mashamaite were not given new contracts after winning the championship last year, neither of them could find a local club willing to step in. Incredibly, they both had to decamp to Scandinavia to get a game.

Meanwhile, Kaizer Chiefs announced the "big transfers" of Siyanda Xulu, Keegan Ritchie, Daniel Cardoso, Camaldine Abraw (amid some controversy), Bongani Ndulula, Edward Manqele and, later, an unknown Ugandan called Sula Matovu.

Oh, and they also tried to present Sibongiseni Ngcobo and Andisiwe Mtsila, two “academy” lads, as new signings, along with Lucky Baloyi, because he hadn’t gone out on loan. And, finally, they did a new deal with goalkeeper Itumeleng Khune, clearly on Bobby's terms.

Go through those names. Look for the transfer fees. Try to guess the salaries. These weren’t transfers, these were deals struck between Bobby Motaung and various agents. Neither the out-going Stuart Baxter nor new coach Steve Komphela had any say.

In truth, the European-style transfer swoop is dead in South Africa. That magical, morale-boosting grab, like Petr Cech going to Arsenal for £10million or Anthony Martial to Manchester United for £36million just won’t happen.

There is no transparency in our transfer market. Just as the PSL refuses to give us crowd figures, so we are denied ANY INSIGHT in to fees or salaries. Fans and journalists alike work in the dark. We know the big clubs have plenty of money - Vodacom, Carling and Absa offer millions - but we have no idea where it goes.

While the fans rush around talking in excited tones about Vilakazi going to Kaizer Chiefs after Bobby Motaung (illegally) said he wants to go, the agents are shifting around New Zealanders (five at the last count) and age-cheating journeymen in deeply dodgy dealings with the likes of Motaung and Screamer Tshabalala while their chairmen are given sketchy details.

SuperSport United led the way in the last window. Dean Furman, Bongani Khumalo and Michael Boxall all arrived from foreign fields (along with a couple of others from Down Under) and we all knew money was being spent but HOW MUCH? And WHY? Mike Makaab, fashionable when Gordon Igesund was Bafana coach, is now Stanley Matthews' best pal, along with a chap called Glyn Binkin, architect of such memorable deals as Katlego Mphela and Morgan Gould to Chiefs.

Just as South African football craves disappearing spray, goal-line technology, disciplinary reviews and referee assessments (and less mid-season breaks), so we need a transfer market that we can all see and appreciate.

Watch closely as this January transfer window saga unfolds. Look for real, serious signings designed to lift a club out of the doldrums. Kaizer Chiefs and Orlando Pirates get R50m a year from Vodacom. They should both be spending, given their current positions. Both coaches Steve Komphela and Eric Tinkler are under huge pressure... yet they have no say in who comes and goes.

R10m for Vilakazi, Ntshangase, Abbubaka Mobara or Mahlambi should be possible. Ndoro, Majoro, David Zulu and Ndulula should find new homes. But if certain people don’t get their cut, it won’t happen. If the right agent isn’t wandering around outside the gate with his cell phone, players will remain unhappy and unfulfilled. And so will the fans.

And we’ll end up with more mysterious moves of no-name foreigners and has-beens. 

Record-breaking transfers? Exciting last-minute deals? We can only hope. You have been warned.