Do you blame the knob in the umpire's room... or Daryl Harper? Furious England head off to do the rain dance

DARYL HARPER, the controversial Australian umpire, could be in hot water with the ICC after he failed to hear an edge from South Africa captain Graeme Smith which echoed around the world on the second day of the final Test at the Wanderers today.

Afterwards Smith himself admitted: “There was a noise. Definitely. But it could have been my thumb against the bat. It doesn’t take the gloss off my century.”

Harper, no stranger to technological blunders – he once claimed he couldn’t see the ball on a replay screen in the West Indies and just yesterday failed to spot a potential no-ball when Alastair Cook was given out LBW – apparently failed to turn his audio feed up and couldn’t hear the obvious snick which saw Smith let off on 15.

Smith went on to score a superb 105 and was out shortly after lunch before a huge storm stopped play with South Africa 208-2, 28 ahead of England’s 108 with eight wickets in hand. Smith finally fellow to birthday boy Sidebottom, 32 today, and Prior but by then the damage had been done.

SABC spokesman Neil Manthorpe, a British-born commentator, said: “Unfortunately Daryl had his feed volume turned down to four out of ten.

“We all get the same feed, ESPN, SABC and Sky. We all heard it. He just didn’t realise. And it’s been like that for the whole Test match. It was all about twiddling a knob in the umpire’s room.”

The question nobody dared asked England boss Andy Flower afterwards was: Do England blame the knob in the umpire’s room or Daryl Harper? Flower said: “It’s disappointing. If this wasn’t such an important Test match it would have been amusing.

“We spoke to the match referee several times today. The first time he said Harper had a separate audio feed to Sky and SABC. We then established they all share the same feed. And when we went back, they told us about the volume level.

“Apparently they thought four out of 10 was sufficient. It’s obviously a problem”

With the ICC set to release a statement and the SABC taking two hours over their press release, an employee from Octagon, who provide the technical expertise for coverage the Wanderers, said: “Harper should have realised. They say he couldn’t hear the thunder when the storm broke over the ground later in the day.”

Ryan Sidebottom, who bowled the fourth over of the day, had no doubts. Nor did England wicketkeeper Matt Prior, who took the catch. But after New Zealand umpire Tony Hill failed to react to a universal appeal, England skipper Andrew Strauss called for an immediate review.

England’s players were clearly shocked when Harper, high in the stands in the umpire’s room, said he had heard nothing. The 58-year-old has to rely on the audio feed from the wicket microphone as South Africa does not have hot-spot technology in place for a suspected edge.

But former England seamer Matthew Hoggard said: “We all heard it You just had to twiddle with the volume control. Nobody can understand what happened, but it is difficult without hotspot technology.”

And Pommie Mbangwa, the former South African player in the commentary box said: “It was out, everybody knew it was out. We all heard the noise. Except Harper.”

While text messages flooded in from around the world claiming they had heard the snick, Harper chose not to make an appearance, preferring to wait for the ICC statement.

Meanwhile out on the flooded pitch, miracles were being worked by men with brooms (above) and two mechanised Super Squeegies. The flooded ground was miraculously dried and three hours and 18 minutes after that huge cloudburst drove us into the back of the stands seeking cover from the deluge and crashing thunder. If only Harper's mike was as efficient.

Resuming on 208-2 at 5.30 local time (which is when play is scheduled to close on an ordinary day here), Hashim Amla and Jacques Kallis were put under pressure by Ryan Sidebottom and Stuart Broad. But the rain soon returned and South Africa went off at 215-2.

Afterwards Flower, amid the accusations and counter-accusations over Harper’s knob, said: “The key to getting back in this match is to take early wickets tomorrow.”

In reality of course, the rain dance will take place in the Sandton Sun tonight. Attendance compulsory. It’s England’s only hope.

The three men trying to save the Test series for South Africa. And more about the knob in the umpires' room

Yes, here they are. The three men working hardest to save this Test series for South Africa, who have to win this final Test at the Wanderers to draw the four-match epic 1-1.

Between this trusty trio, who are propably paid less in a year than the cricketers get in a week, have been working feverishly to get rid of the water lying on the outfield after a cloudburst 58 minutes after lunch.

At 14.12 local time, so the scorer tells me, we were assailed by thunder, lightning, darkness and torrential rain. The wind drove the rain straight into the press box, we ran for cover, the internet crashed and play looked to be over for the day.

But then these hard-working sweepers and two Super Soakers got to work on the flooded outfield and, with the super-efficient drainage system here at Johannesburg's "Bull Ring", the ground was coaxed back into some sort of shape within two hours.

The umpires are out there at the moment, water splashing around their ankles. We could even see some play now, right at the end of day two - there's a second inspection at 5.15pm local time, with play getting underway at 5.30pm (3.30 in England), which is the scheduled end of play here. They're hoping to get half and hour in.

Though it would be good to have a go at Jacques Kallis and Hashim Amla in these conditions, England might be happy to stay in the dressing-room after the morning they had.

Graeme Smith, the South Africa captain, had a big swish at birthday boy Ryan Sidebottom just four overs into the days play after South Africa had restarted at 29-0 chasing England's paltry 180.

Sidebottom, 32, certainly though Smith - on 15 - had got an edge. So did the entire England team, including the catcher Matt Prior.

But umpire Daryl Harper, up in the television review box, only had his audio feed turned up to four out of 10 and couldn't hear a thing on the stump microphone. Not out and England reeled in shock.

Smith went on to get 105, effectively batting England out of the game. He was out shortly before the thunderstorm. We should be back on the slightly-soggy field here by 5.40 South Africa time, 3.40 British time.

England will hope to nick out a few South Africans in the final hour, but they'll also be performing traditional rain dances in their Sandton Hotel tonight.

And possibly thinking about a knob in the umpire's dressing room.

Smith's incredible let-off all down to a knob in the umpire's review room!

SOUTH AFRICAN captain Graeme Smith enjoyed an incredible let off as the second day of the final Test at the Wanderers got underway amid controversy this morning- and ended with a flooded pitch.

Smith clearly edged Ryan Sidebottom to Matt Prior when he was on 15 just four overs into the day – but television umpire Daryl Harper was unable to hear the noise on his audio fee.

The Australian apparently hadn’t turned it up to the full volume - and refused to give the decision. Smith went on to score 105 and put South Africa into a virtually unbeatable position.

SABC frontman Neil Manthorpe told the Evening Standard exclusively: “Harper’s volume control ws only on four out of ten. That’s why he didn’t hear the edge.”

Luckless England were all out for a paltry 180 yesterday as their attempt to engineer the draw that would clinch this absorbing series fell flat. They were able to take only two “official” wickets as South Africa moved from their overnight 29-0 to 202-2 as Smith reached his 20^th Test ton off 182 balls.

With Hashim Amla (66), he put on 164 in 40 overs – a record second-wicket partnership at this historic ground against England – at a cracking rate of just over four an over. Smith, taken to task for not walking on local television by West Indian commentator Ian Bishop - was finally out to an edge off Ryan Sidebottom, taken by Andrew Strauss at first slip after 187 balls, 252 minutes and 16 fours.

Only rain can save England now, and it’s just started to come down heavily here (see picture above), flooding the outfield and ruling out play for the rest of the day.

As the covers come on, South Africa are 208-2 with Amla on 71 and Jacques Kallis 2 – that’s a lead of 28 with eight wickets in hand. A win for South Africa– which would see this absorbing series drawn 1-1 and the hosts retain the Basil D’Oliviera trophy – now appears to depend purely on the weather.

But with every run Smith made this morning, England’s sense of frustration grew as the realisation dawned that the new-fangled review system cannot ensure Test cricket is free of grinding injustice.

The South African leader, not the most lovable of cricketers, should have been long gone. After patiently guiding his side through a sticky evening session involving a rain break and floodlights last night, he had a wild slash at birthday boy Sidebottom, 32 today

The entire England side went up with Stuart Broad particularly vociferous in his appeal, marching around his his arms up.

While on-field umpire Tony Hill remained curiously unmoved, England captain Andrew Strauss immediately called for a review. And after the initial problems with the new-fangled system, he only does that when he’s sure something’s wrong.

The music played, the replays rolled... and England’s celebrating fielders could hardly believe it when Harper said he heard nothing on the stump mike and backed New Zealander Hill’s not-out verdict.

Ashes-winner Matthew Hoggard, emerging from the SABC commentary box, told me: “There was a definite noise. I don’t understand why it wasn’t given. Once we’d turned the sound up, it was quite clear.

“Perhaps the television umpire had a problem with the feed from the pitch mike. But without hotspot, it’s so difficult.”

Former South African Test player Pommie Mbangwa said: “It was definitely out, although quite a few people couldn’t here the noise in the commentary box until they turned up the sounds.”

Hotspot technology shows an infra-red image of where the ball hits the bat. Though it is functioning for reviews in Australia’s current series against Pakistan, it is not available here, making catches behind difficult to give.

But since then I’ve even had fans coming up saying they heard the nick – and texts from South African fans in London, watching Sky, laughing at their captain’s luck. In fact, I’ve just been interviewed by SABC television, giving the Evening Standard’s verdict on their conscience-free captain.

Australian television umpire Harper, already under fire for not giving a no ball when Alastair Cook was out LBW yesterday, will come under further scPublish Postrutiny from the England camp – though Paul Collingwood said last night England were more acceptant of that decision after further review of the tapes.

But he confirmed England coach Andy Flower had made a brief visit to match referee Rohsan Mahanama after that decision.

Another visit may be required after Smith’s let off. The Standard’s Jon Agnew, seething in the Test Match Special box, twittered: “Interesting how Smith deals with this afterwards. Will it be a 'special' innings in light of having stood on 15? There will be replay after replay.”

England’s disappointment was eased an over later when they grabbed their only wicket of the morning. Ashwell Prince prodded forward at Broad – who looked really fired-up this morning after being told where to go by Jacques Kallis when he got out yesterday – and the thick edge flew to Graeme Swann at slip. No doubt about that one.

The first slip catch of the Test so far left South Africa, 29-0 after those 12 sticky overs last night, 36-1 in the 17^th over. But that was as good as it got for England.

The batsman formerly known as Prince (as they like to call him here) did brilliantly to survive two hostile spells amid the rain break and badlight last night, but all that hard work -19 runs off 48 balls - was in vain and he attempted to fend off a good, rising delivery.

Amla marched out to join his captain and together they survived a difficult early morning session. With the sun baking the life out of yesterday’s jumpy strip – and limiting the swing for England’s seamers - South Africa’s 50 came up six overs into the morning session.

Broad and Sidebottom were getting movement and finding a good length... but without the constant menace provided by the pace of Dale Steyn and Morne Morkel in their devastating opening 12-over spell yesterday, when four England wickets fell for less than 40 runs.

Incredible let-off for Smith and South Africa strengthen their grip

SOUTH AFRICAN captain Graeme Smith enjoyed an incredible let off as the second day of the final Test at the Wanderers got underway this morning.

Luckless England, all out for a paltry 180 yesterday, were able to take only one wicket as South Africa moved from their overnight 29-0 to 102-1 with Smith looking ominous on 51 off 193 balls and Hashim Amla also unbeaten on 28.

But by then, Smith should have been long gone. After patiently guiding his side through a sticky evening session involving a rain break and floodlights last night, he had a wild slash at birthday boy Ryan Sidebottom after just four overs this morning – when he had scored just 15.

Sidebottom, 32 today, certainly thought Smith had got a touch with his uncharacteristic attempted cut off the final ball of his second over – and the entire England side went up with Stuart Broad particularly vociferous in his appeal.

While on-field umpire Tony Hill remained unmoved, England captain Andrew Strauss immediately called for a review.

England’s celebrating fielders could hardly believe it when television umpire Daryl Harper said he heard nothing on the stump mike and backed New Zealander Hill’s not-out verdict.

Ashes-winner Matthew Hoggard, emerging from the SABC commentary box, told me: “There was a definite noise. I don’t understand why it wasn’t given. Once we’d turned the sound up, it was quite clear.

“Perhaps the television umpire had a problem with the feed from the pitch mike. But without hotspot, it’s so difficult.”

Hotspot technology shows an infra-red image of where the ball hits. Though it is functioning for reviews in Australia’s current series against Pakistan, it is not available here, making catches behind difficult to give.

But since then I’ve even had fans coming up saying they heard the nick – and texts from South African fans in London, watching Sky, laughing at their luck.

Australian television umpire Harper, already under fire for not giving a no ball when Alastair Cook was out LBW yesterday, will come under further scrutiny from the England camp – though Paul Collingwood said last night England were more acceptant of that decision after further review of the tapes.

But he confirmed England coach Andy Flower had made a brief visit to match referee Rohsan Mahanama after that decision.

England’s disappointment was eased an over later when they grabbed their first wicket of the morning. Ashwell Prince prodded forward at Stuart Broad – who looked really fired-up this morning after being told where to go by Jacques Kallis when he got out yesterday – and the thick edge flew to Graeme Swann at slip. No doubt about that one.

The first slip catch of the Test so far left South Africa, 29-0 after those 12 sticky overs last night, 36-1 in the 17^th over.

The batsman formerly known as Prince (as they like to call him here) did brilliantly to survive two hostile spells amid the rain break and badlight last night, but all that hard work -19 runs off 48 balls - was in vain and he attempted to fend off a good, rising delivery.

Amla marched out to join his captain and together they survived a difficult early morning session.

With the sun baking the life out of yesterday’s jumpy strip – and limiting the swing for England’s seamers - South Africa’s 50 came up six overs into the morning session.

Broad and Sidebottom were getting movement and finding a good length... but without the constant menace provided by the pace of Dale Steyn and Morne Morkel in their devastating opening 12-over spell yesterday, when four England wickets fell for less than 40 runs.

As Steyn said last night: “When you have conditions like this, where the ball is doing things off a track like this, you have to fill you boots. It doesn’t happen that often in Test cricket – but it often happens at the Wanderers.”

England shot out for 180 and South Africa survive the rain and floodlights without loss

ANDREW STRAUSS fell to the first ball at The Wanderers this morning and England were shot out for 180 on a disastrous opening day of the “must-draw” final Test in Johannesburg.

South Africa, needing a win to tie the series at 1-1 and retain the Basil D’Oliviera trophy, were 29-0 with openers Graeme Smith(12) and Ashwell Prince (15) surviving 12 overs, a 95-minute rain delay (pictured right) and a bonus late session under floodlights.

When the umpires finally took them off for bad light, Strauss was furious. It was the end of a very, very bad day at the office.

Strauss’s first diamond duck was quickly followed by the loss of Jonathan Trott, Kevin Pietersen and Alastair Cook as England found themselves 39-4 after 9.4 overs. South Africa’s opening pair, Morne Morkel (3-39) and the world’s top ranked Test bowler Dale Steyn (5-51) were almost unplayable in their opening barrage.

It was left to Paul Collingwood and Ian Bell to restore sanity – they added 76 for the fifth wicket before Collingwood departed for 47 and Bell followed for 35 soon after lunch.

And then the gormless procession resumed. Matt Prior, Stuart Broad and Ryan Sidebottom offered little resistance as England – Graeme Swann excepted - caved in. Yes, Sidebottom – a surprise choice to replace Graham Onions before play this morning. Onions, the legendary No11 bat the South Africans never managed to remove. Just another silly decision on a day of poor choices from England.

The most remarkable of the lot? Strauss deciding to bat when he’d won the toss. Did nobody tell him about 1999 when we were shot out for 122 on the opening day and lost by an innings?

There’s one reason this lot might do a tad better. Collingwood. Oh, for 11 Durham Determinators. Described by coach Andy Flower as “Our typical British Bulldog” he is carrying four separate injuries to his shoulder, back, hand and groin. But he celebrated the end of a fascinating first session by slapping Jacques Kallis for six over square leg and calmly walking off for lunch.

It couldn’t last. In the fifth over after lunch Collingwood, looking good for an heroic 50, turned a typical nurdle off his pads into a leading edge to JP Duminy. England were 115-5 and the Bulldog was gone for 47 off 61 balls, McLaren’s first Test victim.

Bell’s two-hour resistance ended when he was bowled by an absolute snorter from Steyn which nipped back and shattered his stumps.

Prior, who admitted earlier this week he was unhappy with his form in the city of his birth, was next. Steyn celebrated with abandon when he touched one to Boucher for 14 off 25 unconvincing balls.

Broad, once an England schools opening bat, produced a couple of nice shots before he went for 13, caught Morkel, bowled by an animated Jacques Kallis. No love lost there. Broad actually got a worse reception that Kevin Pietersen from the locals.

And Broad’s demise was typical of England today, a nothing shot to a nothing ball. While the South Africans are fired up and verbal, England’s batters appeared happy to wander in and out with no apparent fury.

Sidebottom did exactly that, Steyn’s fourth victim, caught behind for a duck off six balls. He waited all this time for the chance to bat in this series, worked so hard in the nets during the first three Tests. Then he nibbled at one outside off just when his country needed him to hang about a bit.

Graeme Swann, competing with Collingwood as England’s man of the series, got stuck in for a run-a-ball 27 before he became Steyn’s fifth victim and Boucher’s third. Innings closed but at least Swanny, the top wicket taker in the series, added 25 with Jimmy Anderson (6).

At 180 all out on a pitch being downgraded from “downright nasty” to “quite lively”, England are in serious trouble, but it could have been ever worse after the opening spell we witnessed this morning. An assault on the senses shared by a crowd of around 8,000 as the press box, packed with former Test stars, went into meltdown.

Steyn got things underway after Strauss – three-out-of-four with the coin on in this series - had won the toss. The England captain’s decision to bat is something he will have to live with for the rest of his career.

There was a hushed silence as Strauss turned the first delivery of the day straight into what the stadium commentator instantly described as “the magic hands of Hashim Amla” at short leg. Great catch, one handed to his right. Uproar.

England’s stunned Barmy Army, who had their traditional chorus of Jerusalem drowned out by the sound system at the “Bull Ring”, were immediately silenced. Strauss had become the 28^th person dismissed on the first ball of a Test, a fate which befell the great Sunil Gavaskar three times. Last time this happened to England? Stan Worthington in Brisbane against the Australians in 1936.

The first over ended with England 3-1, nerves still jangling. Morkel’s first over from the other end was equally fiery. His first ball was edged by Trott for four. His second beat the bat completely. The sixth did for him, plumb LBW, England 7-2. A bizarre five-run, eight-ball innings of swishes and hopeful prods. What was Trott thinking?

Pietersen, on seven runs from 16 balls, did what he has been doing all tour. Made a rash decision just as he was beginning to get comfortable. He went for the big pull, didn’t quite make it and Wayne Parnell took a sharp catch at cover. England were 32-3. It was all so fast, the poor bloke, making his debut, even had a quick shy at the stumps after taking the catch.

Pietersen departed spitting and shaking his head. Now boasting a full beard and a rapidly diminishing Test average, the man from Pietermaritzburg looks an unhappy soul.

Alastair Cook, somehow keeping his sanity at the other end as three South Africa-born English batsmen perished, was next, Morkel’s third victim. His LBW decision went for review with the controversial TV umpire Daryl Harper and though it looked like a no-ball, the decision stood. England coach Andy Flower went to the match referee to complain, but by then it was too late. Far too late. Cook was gone for 21 off 31 balls and England were past shock and into intensive care at 39-4.

England lose four in the first hour... but Collingwood goes to lunch with a six!

ANDREW STRAUSS was out first ball at The Wanderers this morning as the fourth and final Test between England and South Africa got underway amid incredible scenes.

The captain was soon followed by Jonathan Trott, Kevin Pietersen and Alastair Cook as England found themselves 39-4 after 9.4 overs with Paul Collingwood and Ian Bell required to produce their now-traditional rearguard action within 45 minutes of the start on the opening morning.

South Africa’s opening pair, Morne Morkel (6-1-20-3) and the world’s top ranked Test bowler Dale Steyn (6-0-26-1) were almost unplayable in their opening barrage.

Fortunately, they were replaced by two debutants – Ryan McLaren and Wayne Parnell – and the resilient Collingwood (44) and Bell (19) began the business of resurrecting England’s innings, going to lunch at 100-4, having added 61 for the fifth wicket.

Thank God for Colly (my old netting partner, see picture) is the cry. The hero of Cardiff, Centurion and Newlands, the man described by coach Andy Flower as “Our typical British Bulldog” is carrying four separate injuries. But he celebrated the end of the first session by slapping Jacques Kallis for six over square leg. Some guy.

But what a opening spell we had. An assault on the senses shared by a crowd of around 8,000 as the press box, packed with former Test stars, went into meltdown.

Steyn got things underway after Strauss – near-perfect with the coin on in this series - had done his usual thing and won the toss. The England captain’s decision to bat is something he will have to live with for the rest of his career.

There was a hushed silence for the opening ball of a Test England only have to draw to clinch the series. Then Strauss turned that first delivery of the day straight into what the stadium commentator instantly described as “the magic hands of Hashim Amla” at short leg. Great catch. Uproar.

England’s stunned Barmy Army, who had their traditional chorus of Jerusalem drowned out by the sound system at the “Bull Ring”, were immediately silenced. Strauss had become the 28^th person dismissed on the first ball of a Test, a fate which befell the great Sunil Gavaskar three times. Last time this happened to England? Stan Worthington in Brisbane against the Australians. You won’t remember Stan. He did that back in 1936.

Ball two from Steyn flew inches wide of Jonathan Trott’s off-stump and reports of a bowlers’ paradise had been confirmed in a matter of seconds.

Groundsman Steve Scott was told to prepare a result wicket by South Africa coach Mickey Stewart, whose side need to win here to square the series at 1-1 and retain the Basil D’Oliviera trophy. It worked like a charm, but only because Strauss chose to bat. And he knew all about the South African scheming.

The first over ended with England 3-1, nerves still jangling. Back in 1999, when the Wanderers hosted the first Test between these two sides, the carnage went on all day as England were skittled for 122 and went on to lose by an innings and 21 runs. Yesterday, out on the balcony overlooking this huge arena, I talked to then-captain Nasser Hussain about that epic morning a decade ago. Surely Straussie would have been told about it? Surely he must have known what it can be like here on the first morning?

Morkel’s first over from the other end was equally worrying. His third ball was edged by Trott for four. His second beat the bat completely. The sixth did for him, plumb LBW, England 7-2. Trott, who had swung at everything he could see, almost walked. A bizarre five-run, eight-ball innings of swishes and hopeful prods. What was he thinking?

Pietersen emerged to a reasonable reception given he spent his formative years in South Africa - and he appeared to have settled, hitting the first genuine four of the morning off Morkel as he settled in with Alastair Cook at the other end.

But three balls later, on seven runs from 16 balls, he did what he has been doing all tour. Made a rash decision just as he was beginning to look good. He went for the big pull, didn’t quite make it and Wayne Parnell took a sharp catch at mid-on. England were 32-3. It was all so fast, the poor bloke, making his debut, even thought about a shy at the stumps after taking the catch.

Cook, somehow keeping his sanity at the other end as three South Africa-born English batsmen perished, was next, Morkel’s third victim. His LBW decision went for review and though it looked like a no-ball, the decision stood. England coach Andy Flower went to the match referee to complain, but by then it was too late. Far too late. Cook was gone for 21 off 31 balls and England were past shock and into intensive care at 39-4.

Collingwood and Bell survived the last of the Steyn-Morkel onslaught and they relaxed visibly when two debutants – Ryan McLaren and Wayne Parnell – were handed their first overs in Test cricket. But already this entire 20-day Test series has swung South Africa’s way.

Thing is, Arthur finally has his dream attack here. Right from the start of the series, there was a feeling Makhaya Ntini was past it, but they had to pick him for Centurion and Durban, where he won his 100^th and 101^st caps but took just two wickets for plenty.

Friedel De Wet, the Johannesburg-based paceman who replace him in Cape Town, is 29 and apparently the choice of head of selectors Mike Procter. He did his back in after just five overs at Newlands.

So here, by default, Arthur has Steyn and Morkel on top form plus Parnell – described by Kent team-mate Robert Key as “the new Wasim Akram” – making his debut in place of De Wet and all-rounders McLaren and fit-again Jacques Kallis.

It’s some attack that. And if they want a spinner, they can always turn to JP Duminy, who turns it more than their specialist spinner Paul Harris, axed for McLaren this morning.

England are in trouble here – and they must survive without their best batsman. Yes, Graham Onions, the world’s greatest No11, is out. The legend is no more. Replaced by Ryan Sidebottom, who can swing it a bit. He’ll have to swing it a lot to turn this one around.

Onions out, Sidebottom in... and my journey to Soccer City

WAITING for the big start at the Wanderers, just thought I'd show you a picture taken yesterday, yes that's me at Soccer City, where the World Cup will kick off on June 11 with South Africa playing Mexico.

It's also the 94,600 venue for the final on July 11, where England will play Spain. But those teams have yet to be confirmed!

Hell of a place, Soccer City. Shaped like a kalabash, an African cauldron, it's a unique, African design and the inside is coming on apace.

We sneaked in using our cricket accreditation yesterday afternoon and walked about to our heart's content. I even found the highest seat in the house, row BB, seat 1, right up behind the goal.

Outside the news is not so good. A small shanty town has appeared to service the workers, the Stadium Road sign is hanging off, bulldozers abound. The great walkway up to the stadium appears to have fallen into disrepair.

But there's little doubt it will all be ready for next year. It's not easy to find, but presumably there will be better sign-posting by the time the tournament starts - or was it my father's poor navigation?!

Anyway, back to the cricket. Graham Onions, a legend with the bat (the South Africans can't get him out, he's been the last man standing twice in this series) and not a bad bowler, appears to be languishing on the edge of the warm-ups, suggesting Ryan Sidebottom may get his first Test of the tour.

South Africa have called up McLaren for spinner Harris, reinforcing the idea that this is going to be a swinger's paradise at the Wanderers, where the crowd is conspicuously sparse for the biggest Test of the winter.

McLaren makes his debut, as does Wayne Parnell, in for the injured Friedel De Wet.

And here comes the toss... Andrew Strauss wins yet again, he'll bat. And confirms Onions has been dropped for Sidebottom. Shocker. Onions is our legend with the bat, twice standing firm at No11 for the draw. |But he hasn't had a lot of luck with the ball.

Strauss says: "Graham has done well for us but Ryan will ask a few questions of the batsmen here."

Colly ready for Bore War: "I love to annoy South Africans"

PAUL COLLINGWOOD is ready for the final battle of the Bore War. As England prepare for Thursday’s final Test against South Africa, Durham’s dogged Determinator grins: “I might bore a few people but it’s a job. And it’s a job I enjoy. And I love to annoy the opposition.”

And annoy them he has. England go into the last chance saloon at the Wanderers “Bull Ring” in Johannesburg knowing a draw will secure a shock 1-0 series triumph – largely thanks to Collingwood’s obdurate attitude at the crease. After twice helping England to last-wicket draws, he says: “We’re happy with where we are at the minute, but if we can get that draw or a win, that’d be magic for us.

“I’ve always been a fighter, ever since growing up with my brother in my early teens. I will always go out there and fight. This whole team has shown that resilience. Obviously you need flair and genius at times, but in Test cricket resilience is so important.

"Getting a draw when the other side are winning can be vital. It really hurts the opposition. And for me, staying out there for four hours and getting 40 can be better than a hundred.”

Collingwood, described by coach Andy Flower as “a typical British bulldog” after yet another match saving innings in Cape Town last week, has been central to England’s trio of last wicket stands – the first against Australia in Cardifff last summer, then twice against South Africa in the first and third Tests of this absorbing series.

I enjoyed a net with Collingwood last summer (see picture) and he remains the most approachable of the England players. And his resolve remains undimmed after three months on safari surviving record-breaking temperatures, numerous injuries and a wild Dale Steyn in Cape Town.

The most consistent of England’s batters – he got 50 and 26 not out to aid survival in Centurion, 91 in Durban’s innings triumph then 19 and 40 off 188 balls of stoic resistance in Cape Town – simply refuses to accept his body is struggling to cope with the endless strain of international cricket.

He has delayed the operation on his dislocated shoulder for eight years – “I can’t afford to take three months out” – and still needs the odd cortisone injection to clear things up. He has been having ice treatment on his back problems which have eased since early in the tour but he dislocated his left index finger warming up in Durban three weeks ago and was wearing two large strips of adhesive tape on his left inner thigh at nets yesterday.

But there he was today, netting like a madman. He got hit on that left finger by Graham Onions but shrugged it off and batted on. Then he bowled at full pace for an hour, beating the bat as many times as any of England’s quicker bowlers.

The British Bulldog? “Andy can describe me however he wishes,” grins Collingwood, “My innings out here have been very special. Centurion was good and in Cape Town, I always had the belief we could do it.

“It was such a big game for us. It’s hard to measure these innings. They’re not about runs, it’s about the time you spent in the middle. The attitude you show to the other players, the balls you face.

“I think those innings are worth a hundred, it may not come across that way. To get over the line we way we have done in those two games was special.

“Those innings give me more pleasure than some hundreds. I’m sure Ian Bell has discovered that. He scored elegantly for 140 in Durban but I’m sure when he came off in Cape Town with 78 after four hours, it was even better.

“He was under pressure a couple of games ago, to show that mental strength will mean a lot to him.

"This is a huge week for us. To win this series would mean so much.”

Collingwood survived being given out first ball in Cape Town, thanks to the new-fangled review system. He said: “It’s good for the game. It will improve the game in the future. But at time it can be frustrating with all the stoppages.”

If groundsman Chris Scott does what he’s been told and leaves a little grass on the No5 strip out here on Friday, Colly may just find himself bowling a real spell for the first time in this series when Stuart Broad, Onions and Jimmy Anderson tire.

Bowling at something close to full pace for the first time in weeks at nets this morning, he said: “I feel very comfortable, but my full pace is what you might call medium. Usually when there is a bit more in the wicket, the last person they’ll turn to is me! We’ve got the guys with the skill to swing it.

“When I get the ball we tend to be in a bit of strife, I hope I don’t get too much bowling here.”

Colly famously tends to be at the other end when Kevin Pietersen is playing his best cricket but with the South African-born batsman struggling, Collingwood insists: “KP scored nice runs in Centurion. I think we always look at KP and think he should be doing it every match. He’s sort of a genius, if he goes a couple of games without runs, the pressure comes on. I’m sure he will produce something in this game.”

And then we return to his favourite topic. Staying power. He says: “To have this kind of resilience when you’re under the pump is a great strength to have in a team. You need your flair, your bits of genius, but we’ve shown in the last six months, we’ve got it in the locker if we need it.

“And we’re finding more and more players who have that resilience in our team as this tour goes on – like Belly in Cape Town.

“South Africa have outplayed us quite a lot in the sessions but we’ve got that strength. It’s an important part of Test cricket to get a draw from a game you might lose. It takes a lot out of the opposition.

“We feel refreshed after Cape Town. Andy Flower and Andy Strauss have identified times when we can recharge the batteries. It’s important after two tough Tests. The last two days in training, we’ve shown a lot of energy. This week means a lot of us.

“It was nice to have a couple of days break but we have to come out and play. We can’t sit back and rely on this position. It’s a huge week for us. We want to go away winning the series.

“I’m just enjoying my game. But those situations, I really love.“

From the highest press box in cricket, Matt Prior insists he won't be a 'nearly man' against the country of his birth

ENGLAND are in Johannesburg. I am writing from the highest cricket press box in the world at The Wanderers, the impressive "Bull Ring" south of South Africa's crime and commerce capital.

Johannesburg is 5,000 feet above sea level. This press box (see picture) is another couple of hundred feet above that.

And today we have Matt Prior insisting England won’t end up being “the nearly men” when they take on the land of his birth this week.

Before the decisive fourth and final Test at The Wanderers starts on Thursday, Prior growls: “We are here to win this Test, not hold on and hope to scrape through, going for a draw.

“We want to go to the airport with a 2-0 in this series. That would be a dream come true. We would have beaten two of the best sides in the world in back-to-back Test series. We aren’t here to be the nearly men.

“We don’t want to go home saying we nearly did it. That we drew the series. We will compete hard. Look for winning situations.”

But a draw is all England need to wrap up a 1-0 win, having taken the second Test in Durban by an innings and drawn – by a nerve-jangling single wicket – in Centurion and Cape Town.

But first Prior and his team mates must get used to coming back up to Johannesburg, where he was born 27 years ago.

Aged eight, the Wanderers, Africa’s biggest cricket venue with a capacity of 34,000, was where he watched his first big cricket game. He recalls: “Yup, it was right here. And I was so excited. I went rushing up to Kepler Wessels and Hansie Cronje for their autographs. They walked straight past me. Blanked me.

“That’s why I always vowed every since never to turn down a young kid who wants my autograph.”

But that doesn’t mean the man educated at Brighton College – he left South Africa soon after the anecdote above – is naturally acclimatised to the altitude and heat of the Highveld.

After an extended session with wicketkeeping coach Bruce French, Prior said: “It’s unbelievable, there’s no oxygen for a start. We could feel our lungs burning in the warm-up. We’ve been at sea level for a long time in Durban and Cape Town.

“But the physical fitness we’ve done should put is in good stead. We should be fine.

“The ball flies up here. The odd one comes through and hits the gloves harder than normal because the air is thin. You have to adapt to it. I had a long session with Frenchy, I have to get used to it.

“It would obviously be a fabulous achievement to beat Australia and South Africa in successive series but it’s important not to look too far ahead.

“What we have done well is break the game down, ball by ball, session by session on this tour. Sometimes, before you ball a bowl in anger, you look too far ahead.

“We start with the first ball, 0-0, making sure we don’t get too far head of ourselves. We want to go home saying we won the one-day series and the Test series.”

England look set to field an unchanged side for the entire epic showdown – the first time the selectors haven’t fiddled in a four Test series since 1884. Prior admits: “It does play a part having a settled team. Guys feel comfortable in their roles. You go out with the same eleven for a few games in a row and you do have that camaraderie.

“But I would emphasise this is a very tight squad from 1 to 16. The guys who haven’t played have been working even harder than us. They have added to the team, it shows the environment we are working in now.

“Those guys are working very hard to get into the team and it adds to this effort.

“The South Africans have come hard all series. That won’t change here. They’re going to be fighting to win this Test. That’s something we will be ready for.

“What their team will be won’t concern us. We’ll concentrate on putting ourselves in winning positions throughout this Test match.”

Prior himself is in good form with the gloves and after a quiet start at Centurion he’s scored valuable fifties in Durban (61) and Cape Town (78).

He said: “It’s been a weird series for me individually with the bat. I managed to get a few important scores at vital times. That’s always a great feeling to help the teaem.

“But if I’m honest I haven’t gone into this in great form. Any player goes through peaks and troughs, it’s as important to make runs when you’re not feeling in good nick. Sometimes you have to get ugly runs. You have to stick in and get those runs when they’re needed.

“The keeping? Touch wood, fingers crossed. I’ve worked very hard, I’ll continue to do so. Frenchy has been absolutely fantastic. Always right there, even if it’s only by text. He watches every ball.”

Quite how England managed to get to this point 1-0 up in the series is hard to explain. In the history of Test cricket only 19 Tests have gone to the last wicket partnership surviving, and England have done that twice in three games – not to mention in the opening Ashes Test against Australia in Cardiff last summer.

England’s incredible rearguard actions have frustrated the South Africans here and the under-pressure hosts must also cope with serious injury to seamer Friedel de Wet, who so nearly bowled them to victory in the first Test in Centurion in a devastating new ball spell which ripped out three England wickets in the final session.

De Wet, who needed injections to get through the New Year Test in Cape Town, has gone down with a stress fracture of his back and he also has a damaged disc. Their coach Mickey Arthur says he’s out for the rest of the season and admits he “fears for Friedel’s future”.

The South African selectors have also been embarrassed by the selection of Pakistan-born Imran Tahir – they called him up to the squad last week but have now been told he doesn’t qualify to play for his adopted nation despite marrying a girl from Pretoria and living here for four years.

And then of course they have the Makhaya Ntini situation – Ntini was dropped after winning his 101^st cap in Durban – but took five wickets in a domestic game yesterday. Curiously though, he isn’t even in the squad for Thursday.

Flower blooms at 7am the morning after... and issues a warning to South Africa

ENGLAND boss Andrew Flower issued a clear warning to South Africa before Thursday’s final Test in Johannesburg, insisting: “We aren’t going to The Wanderers to draw the series, we’re going there to win this thing 2-0”

After yesterday’s miraculous draw in the third Test at Newlands, Flower (and Ian Bell, right) emerged before 7am London time at the team’s plush new headquarters on Cape Town’s waterfront to say: “We showed a lot of fight to save two Tests here and we won in Durban.

“Fight is something we like to have in our dressing room. It’s integral to what we want. But every England side inherently has fight because the players are representing their country.

“We want to go on to bigger, better things with this team.”

Flower, talking as a “table cloth” of cloud drifted over the magnificent Table Mountain behind him, praised the fantastic four-hour partnership between Paul Collingwood and Ian Bell which provided the platform for England’s great escape yesterday – and he had kind words for No11 bat Graham Onions, who stood firm for the last over, just as he had at Centurion in the first Test.

Flower said: “Colly is a typical British bulldog, he’s great in the dressing room and he has lots of energy. Now he is using his experience and he is battle-hardened to play against the best sides in the world.

“Belly followed his big 100 (140) which helped win the match in Durban with a match-saving innings (78) yesterday It’s good to see him playing with confidence.”

Described as “a legend” by captain Andrew Strauss yesterday, “Bunny” Onions came in for further praise from Flower as he followed his 19-ball last-man-standing epic at Centurion with 17 balls of desperate defiance yesterday. Flower said: “Bunny’s been in some difficult situations and he’s come through it. He’s had very little luck with his bowling on this tour but he’s proved he can bat when it matters.

“That’s testament to him and the thousands of balls he’s had thrown down at him Phil Neal and our coaching staff. Battling our way to two draws, refusing to lose, that has to be great for English cricket.”

The only slight blemish? The form of Kevin Pietersen, who scored 0 and 6 in front of booing fans at Newlands. Flower said: “Everybody has blips in Test cricket. I’m confident he’ll come back. But he contributed to this draw in the field and in the dressing room.

“I wouldn’t say he’s a special case, everybody is a special case in our squad, in the nicest sense of the word. They all have their unique problems but we deal with everybody the same way. I have every confidence in Kevin.”

Of the ball-tampering allegations against Stuart Broad and Jimmy Anderson, repeated over two days by the South Africans, Flower said: “Our bowlers did nothing wrong. They have great talent at bowling reverse swing on coarse tracks here. We shall continue to do exactly what we always do.

“Has this changed the relationship between the two sides? There’s always a little bit to say to eachother in a series as close as this. But it’s fine. Was it an attempt to unsettle England? You’ll have to ask them that.”

Boycott furious as Kevin Pietersen sings "My Way"

AND now, the time is near, England have to face the final curtain... eek. Not Frank Sinatra, not now at the climax of the crucial third Test at Newlands, where England face defeat on the final day.

No, if it’s “My Way” echoing through the stands as the table cloth of cloud creeps over Table Mountain, it has to be sung by Kevin Pietersen, who got out last night just when his adopted nation needed him most.

The old batting sage “Sir” Geoffrey Boycott is tired of KP’s eternal anthem. When he got out last night, taking any gloss off a stirring opening partnership of 100 between captain Andrew Strauss (46) and Alastair Cook (55), the chase for 466 in 146 overs was rendered hopeless.

England resumed on 132-3 and nightwatchman Jimmy Anderson lasted for a long-than-expected 45 minutes before he was brilliantly caught off his boot by Ashwell Prince off the eternally fortunate South African spinner Paul Harris.

Capetonian Englishman Jonathan Trott is on 36 and has been joined by Paul Collingwood, who knows a thing or two about stubborn resistance. England are 153-4 with Collingwood surviving a dodgy catch on review off his first ball. Phew. But this will be over by tea-time and we'll go to The Wanderers on Thursday for the decider with the four-match series locked at 1-1.

This is what former Test batsman Boycott had to say about petulant Pietersen’s problems after scores of 0 and 6 at Newlands: “He’s walking at the ball instead of taking a big stride. By the time he plays at the ball, he’s lunging at it, falling over. If you watch carefully, it makes him play across the line. His right side comes round. His right arm comes round.

“I can explain it but he’ll probably take no notice of anybody. He just says: ‘That’s the way I play,’ and then carries on. It’s nonsense. If you’re 6ft 4in and as talented as him, you have to use that stride properly, you don't shuffle. He stands up with a stiff left leg, walking all over it. It’s a very poor defensive shot.

“Getting booed is no excuse for not playing forward. Coming back after his operation is no excuse. If he’d listen, it would help. I love him to bits. He has all the talent in the world. But he never listens to anybody. That’s all I’ve got to say.”

Boycott got in a real stew on the South African Broadcasting Corporation’s television coverage when Pietersen was out lbw last night. “No, no, no,” he shouted, furious after KP had survived one lbw dismissal on a review only to be rapped plum in front a couple of balls later by a delirious Dale Steyn.

As Collingwood and Trott fiddle while England’s 1-0 series lead burns after the heavy roller was on this morning (above), Pietersen sits in the dressing room with no role to play. The Sun said he threw beer on the fans after his first innings failure. England deny emphatically that he did anything of the sort. But the pressure is on. It’s not as if he isn’t our best batsman, our highest ranked Test run-getter.

At Centurion, where he ran himself out suicidally on 81 and nearly cost England the draw, he looked comfortable when all about him were jumpy in both innings. At Kingsmead, he looked supremely confident but never produced the big one as England won by an innings and 98 runs.

In the field, he is the least competent of England’s fielders. And with Paul Collingwood suffering with his bad back and dislocated finger, he’s been thrown the ball for a couple of overs of off-spin but never looks like the change bowler he was as a youngster in Durban, where they considered him a bit of an all-rounder.

Anybody else showing his apparent lack of focus, his ability to get out to bad shots, his lacklustre performance in the field, would be in the firing line, the sacrificial lamb before the decider at The Wanderers next Thursday. But not KP. Not against the land of his birth.

As Boycott says, we love him to bits. But please KP, offer us hope for Johannesburg, or this series is going down the u-bend.