THE MOST BIZARRE FOOTBALLING NATION IN THE WORLD: Diski in Mzanzi remains inexplicable. But gives us plenty to talk about

REF, YOU NEED GLASSES! Stuart Baxter was red-carded after making
this gesture to our "No 1" referee Daniel Bennett on Saturday night

WE have seen enough, in less than one season, to know that South African football is unique. In a land where soccer dominates, there are more questions than answers and we rely on cricket and rugby for international success.

Bafana Bafana, with their ever-changing goalkeepers, unsolved match-fixing scandals and unbanned foreign stars, offers a bizarre insight in to our game. I’ve researched how often an international squad has chosen TWO goalkeepers from ONE club, It has NEVER happened.

Itumeleng Khune and Brilliant Khuzwayo BOTH playing for Kaizer Chiefs is just indicative of the confusion we face as South African football fans. And it's not new. Have a look at the Brian Baloyi and Andre Arendse debate a decade ago (Shakes Mashaba was the coach then too, with goalkeeping and captaincy confusion, see http://www.news24.com/xArchive/Sport/Soccer/Booth-could-captain-Bafana-20020815).

There's also THIS http://mg.co.za/article/2008-09-09-special-bafana-bafana-team-to-take-on-england involving Mashaba's multiple previous spells in charge of Bafana. We knew, we were warned, he had previous, all the old pros warned me. But we gave him the job again.

This kind of thing happens NOWHERE ELSE in the world. Neither does the tumult over Tokelo Rantie, Ayanda Patosi, May Mahlangu – called up despite injury in Turkey – and Kamohelo Mokotjo, dismissed last year as “heavy and sluggish” by Mashaba. Our four best overseas players dismissed for AFCON but curiously recalled for the upcoming international friendlies on the insistence of SAFA president Danny Jordaan.

Rarely in my 35 years of sports writing have I heard anybody quite as politically astute (or as rude when the right questions are being asked) as Mashaba, a man who is capable of avoiding difficult questions while simultaneously having his two mobile phones and his lap-top stolen by a car jammer. Like our president, he laughs when he should cry, dances when he should act, takes when he should be giving.

Surrounded by agents despite the furore over his predecessor Gordon Igesund, Shakes continues to be seen as a messiah despite the second-worst AFCON performance in Bafana’s history being the most recent evidence of his lack of tactical and diplomatic acumen.

But it’s not just Mashaba. It’s not just SAFA, with their empty promises of a Technical Director and a gun-metal statue of the late Senzo Meyiwa. There are sinister forces all over the place. Evidence that Diski in Mzanzi is simply INEXPLICABLY INEFFICIENT.

We have the outrageous, late blooming talent of Thabo Rakhale and the obvious joy of Hendrick Ekstein being messed about by our two biggest clubs as PSL attendance dip to unprecedented levels – we’re set to go under 6,000 per game, lower even than the all-white NFL in the bad old days of Apartheid in the 1970s.

AND NOTHING IS DONE. Nobody even talks about it. Our top football presenters, who have never played the game, steer the struggling ex-professionals away from anything controversial on radio and television. We shall bury our heads in the sand. We will not ask why "football managers" deal with agents on transfers rather than coaches. Or why the big clubs take all the sponsorship money. Or why our grass roots football, with the FIFA Legacy Fund earning interest in a dusty vault, remains neglected.


And why are Q-innovation tables so hard to come by? Why did our Asidlali reserve league fail to encourage Under 19s?

But we're talked about these things before. Tonight, a live eccentricity raised its head: we have our much-hyped number one referee Daniel Bennett missing a clear off-side and ignoring a blatant penalty as Kaizer Chiefs were ousted from the Nedbank Cup on Saturday night by Zeca Marques' NFD outfit Black Leopards.

Just to rub salt in the wounds, Bennett sent off a bemused coach Stuart Baxter after he made the gesture (pictured above) that suggests he needs spectacles. Great stuff!

To get to the nub of the South African problem THIS: Baxter is EIGHT POINTS clear at the top of the PSL. But he STILL hasn’t found a striker. Though Bernard Parker finally scored his fourth goal of the season in midweek against Moroka Swallows, it remains the case that Baxter’s midfielders and centre-backs (from set pieces) have scored 80 percent of his League goals.

With David Zulu and Matty Rusike failing again on Saturday, Baxter, with five non-scoring strikers, will now turn to James Keene, a 29-year-old British journeyman. After spending last week on trial at Naturena, Baxter says: “James is available and he suits our style. He’ll have to go home to apply for a work permit. It might be just for the rest of the season, but we’d like him long-term.”

Baxter says Keene has "a proven record" but he failed to score in the inaugural Indian Super League earlier this season and was deeply unimpressive. But like "experienced" New Zealander Jeremy Brockie at SuperSport United, perhaps Keene can show us how to score from two yards out, how to make incisive runs, shield the ball, show a decent first touch.

Or so the Kaizer Chiefs fans hope as we wait for April 4 and the resumption of the PSL after these two Bafana friendlies against Swaziland and Nigeria. I won’t link games like this to the unsolved match-fixing scandal before the 2010 World Cup. My head might explode.

But just to prove how strange our game is: consider our THIRTEEN coaching casualties this season. I spoke to Allan Freese, put on special leave by Platinum Stars on Friday night before the Nedbank Cup clash with Mamelodi Sundowns tomorrow. Then I spoke to Cavin Johnson, thrown out by SuperSport early in the season. And a couple of others.

As a specific interest group, they are as confused by our game as I am. 13 coaching casualties in a 16-team league? Unbelievable. Utterly confounded by the timing of Clive Barker’s departure from Mpumalanga Black Aces or Fani Madida’s short tenure at Moroka Swallows. And as for Ernst Middendorp’s winless efforts at Chippa United...

But this is South African football. Where even top of the table Baxter and super caretaker Eric Tinkler are insecure, despite all they have achieved. Stay tuned. It might be bizarre, but it sure gives me something to talk about.  Like tonight's Nedbank Cup winner for Jeremy Brockie as SuperSport United ousted Orlando Pirates in the Nedbank Cup tonight...

I'VE GOT TO MAKE A DECISION: unbeaten Stuart Baxter on the boo boys at Kaizer Chiefs

ONE GOAL: Kaizer Chiefs striker Kingston "Boo" Nkhatha
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STUART BAXTER’S post-match interview was chilling. Much more than a simple rant. Nobody else appears to have picked up the full impact of his frustration with the Kaizer Chiefs boo boys in Polokwane. Here it is, word for word:

“I’ll be very honest, I’m tired of it. I’m tired of it. I’ve got to make a decision. Do I want to continue working at a club where you don’t know if your best players are going to be depressed because of some idiots in the crowd?

“I’ve got to make a decision. And maybe that decision is: I DON’T WANT TO DO IT."

Yes, a threat to quit, moments after Saturday’s 1-0 win over Chippa United at the Peter Mokabe Stadium a venue where, he admits: “I don’t like coming.”

And this from a man who had just recorded his 16th League game undefeated. Shocking … but not unprecedented.

In March, when Chiefs looked like they were going to walk away with a second successive title, Baxter said much the same after his non-scoring striker Kingston Nkhatha was – once again - booed in Polokwane.

I spoke to him after that initial outburst. Go google my name and his to find the details, the video, the frustration. And we’re right back there. A coach who should be cockahoop after the strongest possible start to the season finds himself bewildered by his club’s ungrateful fans, or “idiots” in his words.

The AmaKhosi have a point of course. Fans always do. On Saturday, Nkhatha had at least two excellent chances to add to the solitary goal he’s managed all season. They all went straight to the keeper. Bernard Parker, the PSL’s Golden Boot with just 10 last season, scored the winner, bringing his tally to a meagre three.

Kaizer Chiefs have gone surging further ahead than ANY other club in world football right now with the minimum of goals and the minimum of fuss. Their crusade has been based around goals from midfield (George Lebese and Reneilwe Letsholonyane have both scored 5, Mandla Masango has 4) with the occasional vital contribution from their centre-backs at set-pieces.

A serious boos problem: Nkhatha and Baxter

It’s not the most attractive style. But, by George, it works. In effect, Baxter has been verging on the controversial Spain formation with the “false No 9”. At Euro 2012, Vicente del Bosque discarded Fernando Torres for Cesc Fabregas and confounded the opposing centre-halves looking to mark the out-and-out scorer.

In truth, Nkhatha is the spearhead, but often he is tracking back, making the early challenge from the long ball, while Parker – who hadn’t scored AT ALL until his brace against Bidvest Wits a fortnight ago – lurks in peripheral areas, only recently breaking in to the box with the late run.

All of which leaves the two Georges – Lebese and Maluleka – with Masango, Siphiwe Tshabalala and Yeye to score from wide or deep and extend the apparently endless unbeaten run.

Chelsea, whose own run in the English Premier League ended against Newcastle a week ago, wouldn’t dare to try such a system without Diego Costa. Real Madrid, with 20 wins on the trot, rely on Cristiano Ronaldo to break records. Bayern Munich have Mario Götze. Barcelona have Luis Suarez when Lionel Messi and Neymar Junior don’t weigh in.

But Kaizer Chiefs have Nkhatha. A 29-year-old Zimbabwean warhorse who has NEVER been prolific in a career going back to his 41 games and just FIVE goals for Free State Stars between 2007 and 2011.

Chiefs haven’t scored a lot. 24 in 16 unbeaten games is a remarkably miserly tally for our runaway PSL leaders. It would barely get them in the top five in Spain, England or Germany. But add their MTN8 triumph and the Telkom KO “draw” (they were eliminated on penalties by Platinum Stars) and they haven’t lost in 22 games this season.

That form is unquestionable. Indisputable. You can understand why Baxter gets so frustrated. Having won the PSL in his opening season – a first for a foreign coach in South Africa – they finished second last season after a remarkable collapse with the injured Parker losing his scoring boots.

This season, with the African Champions League campaign looming, Baxter has had to make do without star goalkeeper Itumeleng Khune – back on the bench for the first time since early September on Saturday – and expensive striker Katlego “Killer” Mphela. And he has surpassed all expectations.

But still the AmaKhosi boo. Especially in that far northern outpost Polokwane, a home from home for the Chiefs.

Baxter told me: "Fans who boo their own players when we are top of the League? Who boos a player who works as hard as Nkatha? Deplorable. I don't understand it.

"My assistant Doctor Khumalo feels we should bring legends to educate the fans, but I don't see why. We go to Polokwane to show them our team, we don't go to get our players booed by our fans."

Chiefs play modest Free State Stars on Tuesday night in a bid to move their record beyond WWWWWWWWDDWDWWDW to a phenomenal SEVENTEEN unbeaten. Orlando Pirates’ unbeaten run reads DW. Think about it. Do the AmaKhosi REALLY have to boo their non-scoring striker?

Just look at Eric Tinkler’s Buccaneers. They were goalless against former boss Roger de Sa’s weakened Ajax Cape Town for 55 minutes.

Then Lennox Bacela asked to come off, and the bench panicked. For three long minutes Pirates played with ten men. And then the unthinkable happened: Kermit Erasmus came on to join Lehlohonolo Majoro. The dynamic duo I told Vladimir Vermecovic to use for months had finally come together.

Just last week, Tinkler was telling us they were “too similar to play together” but more by luck than judgement Majoro produced the first – an own goal – bouncing it in off post and the back of Finnish goalkeeper Ansi Jaakkola. Seconds later Major made it 2-0. Erasmus forced the corner converted by Siya Sangweni and then added a remarkably calm fourth himself.

In half-an-hour, Tinkler had gone from caretaker villain to pantomime hero, thanks to a tactical change which was forced upon him. Two hours after Baxter’s rant, he was telling us how crucial Erasmus’s goal was after those misses against Sundowns last week.

Not the best from a coach under pressure. Kermit’s talent was never in question, surely? Tinkler’s selection process, like VV’s is what should be under scrutiny.

Best in the world? Kaizer Chiefs after 16 games

Still, Tinkler did better than Pitso Mosimane after his reigning champions had been held 1-1 at lowly Amatuks. Sullen and sulky, he gave the post-match interview from hell.

Watching Roger de Sa after he’d been hammered by his old mate Tinkler and Sammy Troughton trying to explain his feelings on PSL referees it strikes you: our PSL coaches are dragged before the microphone too quickly. Not even an ad break and the post-match interrogation is upon them. In Europe they have a period to consider, calm down.

Perhaps that’s why Baxter, Tinkler, De Sa and Mosimane are the talking points of a fascinating weekend. My view? Coaches opinions are paramount. But that doesn’t mean the fans can’t express themselves. They pay for that privilege.

You can read my Neal and Pray column in www.thenewage.co.za every Tuesday. And follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol... coming on January 5? A new football show with Mark Fish. Watch this space.