Why Shaky is going nowhere fast: the sad tale of South African football

Head man: Shakes Mashaba

ALL hope is lost. Well, just about. There is actually a complicated list of results which could still see battered Bafana Bafana get to AFCON 2017 in Gabon.

But it’s a helluva long-shot. Only Ghana managed to get through to Equatorial Guinea in 2015 with 11 points out of seven group winners. Everybody else topped their groups with 12, 13, 14 or even a perfect 18 points.

The most South Africa can get after their frustrating 0-0 draw against an unambitious Cameroon in Durban last week? NINE POINTS. 

Somehow, if Cameroon and Mauritania contrive to fall over before the line from here, Shaky - as he is now known - might still get through on goal difference if Bafana beat Gambia away and Mauritania at home.

So yes, Mr Mashaba, you’re right. “Our AFCON 2017 campaign is looking darker and darker” but there is a tiny loophole of light.

But it’s the way Shaky tells it that lacks a certain professionalism. A crass mixture of arrogance and denialism never did anybody much good. Ask our president.

Mashaba was waxing lyrical about his chances of making it to Gabon as one of two best runners-up in the group. Again, that will probably require 11 points. But when that was put to him at the press conference, Mashaba responded rudely, asking “who’s view is more important here, yours or mine?”.

The attitude is not new. Mashaba got his son Thabo to ask questions when his imminent failure began to become an acceptable topic last year. And then there was the time he told us: “I’m going to be rude — I think my colour is a problem here. That’s what I’m going to say.”

All patent nonsense of course. Gordon Igesund and a string of Brazilians took far more stick far earlier in their reigns. 

The problem with Mashaba is not his arrogance or his colour. It’s his utter failure to select in-form national squads, his inability to hold on to a lead, his blindness to quick substitutions and... well... South Africa’s general footballing demise over the past 18 months.

Going back to the 2-2 draw in Nigeria in 2014 - which capped off an unbeaten qualification campaign for AFCON 2015 - Shaky has presided over EIGHT African Cup of Nations fixtures. Of those, five were drawn, three were lost... and not a single one has been won.

We left AFCON 2015 with one point. Then came COSAFA and CHAN failures, bracketed by the Group M debacle we now find ourselves embroiled in. A home draw with Gambia was unexpected. Defeat in Mauritania simply unacceptable.

Though Mashaba started his qualifying campaign in 2014 by picking youngsters in line with SAFA president’s VISION2022 programme, by the time AFCON 2015 came around he was doing the usual Bafana boss thing: picking players suggested by his favourite agents, some of whom weren’t even playing for their clubs.

Ignoring in-form players - to the point where he actually accused our one few top-level regular European players he was "too heavy". Going for older and older players and ignoring the Vision2022 blueprint. 

Dennis Mumble, the curious little man who went from Team Manager to CEO at SAFA in the space of four years, insists after the recent qualifying debacle: “The judgement process is already underway. We do not want to react with a knee-jerk.

“We do have the option of telling Mashaba “listen this is not going to work” (before World Cup qualifying begins with the draw in June) but we still have confidence in our head coach.”

Sadly then, and this is a national trend, our leadership will stay intact despite obvious, critical failure at the highest level.

When Mashaba told us after failing at home against Cameroon: “If we play like this we will qualify for the World Cup” his shortcomings were revealed in a sentence.

When I was discussing Kamohelo Mokotjo's complaints in the Dutch newspaper De Telegraaf today, I got four or five calls from interesting sources in the South African game talking about life under Mashaba.

One, an agent, told me Mashaba only deals with "local agents" and that he gets kickbacks for picking them in his squads. We've been there before. Hard to prove, easy to suggest looking at the continual selection of players who attend club games armed with cushions.

Then there was the former Bafana player revealing how Mashaba's training camps are "like amateur night" and that general chaos surrounds a call up to the South African team. Missed flights, team meetings where Mashaba is an hour late, the time in Latin America where the players stayed in bunk beds while Shaky flew home on the first flight to coach the Nedbank Keyona team.

Or how about the coach who said: "When Shaky suffered a few withdrawals before the Cameroon games, he didn't have any numbers to call replacements. They were scrambling about trying to find somebody, anybody.

"There is no communication with SAFA, there are international players who have not heard from Mashaba since he took over. Others who are called to the squad but just get ignored for a week. We've even had players called up... and then told not to come."

Then, from my mole at SAFA House, THIS: "A senior official told Mashaba to try to be more relaxed with the media. He just laughed. It was suggested he should stand aside for the World Cup qualifiers but he just shrugged his shoulders."

Reading between the lines of this morning's calls, it appears - like our president Jacob Zuma - there is NOTHING that would make Mashaba leave his lucrative leadership role.

With money coming in from SAFA, his expenses, Nedbank and so-called "other sources", Mashaba is earning more than our top PSL coaches for doing a lot less and achieving next to nothing.

One player told me this morning: "He barely talks to some of the squad, particularly the overseas players. He has his favourites. There are agents everywhere. The team talks are a joke, some of us can't even understand what he's saying. He makes references to Apartheid and the struggle, but we have no idea what to do when we go down the tunnel.

"Sometimes he just shrugs and says "I know nothing about the opposition" which isn't great 10 minutes before a vital game."

The clincher for me was from the SAFA House mole: "Mashaba appoints more and more people around him without even asking the Executive. He does as he pleases. He doesn't turn up for meetings if he thinks it's going to go badly for him.

"He doesn't listen when we offer advice, he says: "I know how this works. I know all about how SAFA works" then he simply walks away."

The suggestion - from a series of unsolicited callers/emailers which I obviously can't name - being: SAFA can't fire Shaky because he knows too much. He holds the power. Certainly sounded that way to me.

But it’s not just Shaky is it? We live in a nation where crowd figures and transfer fees are top secret. Three of our four representatives are out of continental club competition. Our referees are as poor as our strikers and Kaizer Chiefs, the nation’s favourite club, haven’t scored in five games.

Mumble himself has admitted SAFA is essentially bankrupt, spending R500m a year with an annual income of R300m - and then they turned to penniless national carrier SAA for help! Danny Jordaan has gone from telling me South African football was his one driving ambition to taking the mayoral role in Port Elizabeth and telling us: “Football is just a hobby for me.”

The only bright point? Zimbabwe, packed with PSL stars, SHOULD get to Gabon. At least we’ll have something to cheer about in 2017.

A SHOCKING SATURDAY IN STORE FOR BAFANA BAFANA: Welcome to Mauritania, the world leaders on slavery.

GRIM TRUTH: child slavery is common in Mauritania

RIGHT now, South Africa's finest footballers (according to the slightly confused Ephraim Mashaba) are gathering for battle. International conflict is upon us once more. And our beloved Bafana Bafana are scheduled to play Mauritania, the world's leading slave nation.

Today, we could talk about Mpumalanga Black Aces being top of the PSL for three weeks just two months after trying to sell their top flight status to relegated Amazulu.

Or we could recall Steve Komphela’s bizarre post-match interview as he guided Kaizer Chiefs past financially-troubled Bloemfontein Celtic en route to the MTN8 final and what might just be the first trophy of his career as a player or a coach.

Or we could discuss Bafana Bafana’s Tokelo Rantie, who has played just 23 minutes this season for Bournemouth, being South Africa’s major weapon on Saturday after refusing to leave his honeymoon bed last time he was called. 

Instead, I’ve dug this illuminating paragraph out of an article about Mauritania, Bafana Bafana’s next AFCON 2017 qualifying opponents. Feel free to click on the links for confirmation, it's all there on Wikipedia.

Slavery in Mauritania

A system exists now by which Arab Muslims—the bidanes (literal meaning: white skinned people)—own black slaves, the haratines. An estimated 90,000 Mauritanians remain essentially enslaved. According to some estimates, up to 600,000 Mauritanians, or 20% of the population, are still enslaved.

I never thought I’d see ANYTHING like that in the 21st century. I first came across this Mauritanian slavery stuff during the last CHAN tournament here in 2013, but since then I’ve researched a little deeper. It's despicable.

Shakes Mashaba’s South Africa will fly to Nouakchott on Thursday for the Saturday meeting against a nation where abolitionists are actually jailed for speaking out against slavery.

And nobody says a word. We talk about the composition of our Springboks - eight “players of colour” is clearly not enough for a Rugby World Cup after 20 years - and our Proteas - where Kagiso Rabada and Aaron Phangiso appear to share the “African spot” in our cricket team.

But none of this compares to play against a nation which still harbours slavery, surely?

For some weeks on twitter, I’ve been making this point to our Sports Minister Fikile Mbalula, who feels the need to proclaim himself “No 1 Springbok fan” every 5 minutes on SuperSport.

I’ve also tried his deputy, some bloke with an Afrikaans name, not to mention Danny Jordaan, the South African Football Association and other sporting luminaries in our nation, which prides itself on equality and a fairest-of-the-fair constitution.

But nobody is prepared to say a word.

Instead, we will discuss whether Dean Furman, after two games for SuperSport United, is ready to captain South Africa in Nouakchott. Whether Tokelo Rantie will play after 24 minutes for Bournemouth this season.

No, please. This time, the debate over shaky Mashaba’s decision-making can be put to one side. His inconsistent, agent-led selections, his rotation of both goalkeepers and captains, his failure to make adequate substitutions as the game demands.

Let’s ignore, for once, that 2015 AFCON in distinctly undemocratic Equatorial Guinea which left us with one point and the joint-worst record in the tournament. And try to get over the 0-0 home draw against Gambia which opened our AFCON 2017 qualifying effort, perhaps the worst result in the history of our game.

Those COSAFA disasters against Botswana and Malawi, the failure to pick Kamohelo Mokotjo, the appearance of so many of average players even when they aren’t playing for their clubs. Our 72nd place in the world rankings.

Ignore it all.

The point is: We are about to play a nation where people still own slaves. Child labour, sex trafficking, discrimination along tribal and race lines. This is Mauritania.

And we say NOT A WORD. This from a nation which so bravely stood up on the sporting field and declared APARTHEID a four-letter word. We are the nation who MADE sport a political football. And it WORKED.

Please, Mr Mbalula, this is when you stand up for principle, not smug self-promotion. Make a statement, at the very least. Even better, go to Nouakchott and make a speech against this awful practice. The dream: CAF and FIFA will ban this foul nation until they mend their broken nation.

And please, Mr Mashaba, let’s give them a good stuffing on the football field. It's the least we can do.