Australia 1-1 South Africa: good result, but no need for a hero's welcome

Scorer: Ayanda Patosi

Gordon Igesund, take a bow. You failed at AFCON, you didn’t qualify for the World Cup, we were a laughing stock at CHAN and lost 5-0 to Brazil. But in Sydney yesterday, Bafana Bafana confounded Brazil-bound Australia.

A 1-1 draw against the Socceroos is not going to spark a hero’s parade at Oliver Tambo International but with New Zealand to come this week, it wasn’t a bad result given the circumstances.

Blitzed by withdrawals and heading towards the end of his contract, South Africa’s head coach gave Australia the worst possible send-off to the World Cup next month. They are drawn in something of a Group of Death with Chile first up, followed by the Netherlands and champions Spain, who haven’t lost a major tournament in three attempts.

If they can’t beat Bafana, with Thabo Nthethe and a grieving Tower Mathoho at the back, they are unlikely to get much out of that trio.

At this point, a special mention for Mulomowandau “Mouth of the Lion” Mathoho. While his multi-capped Kaizer Chiefs team-mates chose to take a holiday rather than representing the nation, our Tower chose to travel to Australia and when his cousin died he stayed to play in Sydney – he will return home today for the funeral.

That takes some guts. And Mathoho showed plenty of that as the Australians dominated the early exchanges. Senzo Meyiwa – watched by habitual No 1 Itumeleng Khune (he confirmed as much to me on twitter) – made six saves in the first 20 minutes and the Orlando Pirates stopper was excellent if unorthodox throughout.

His one mistake came just after Ayanada Patosi’s excellent curling goal for Bafana. Caught by a looping cross, he forgot just how high little Tim Cahill can jump. Bang, 1-1. Everton will confirm Cahill can confound with his head, despite his lack of height.

There was barely time to take a breath between the two goals which marked this final friendly for Australia. But there was plenty of time to take stock of Igesund’s new-look Bafana.

The stupid row with Igesund over Thulani Serero’s injury appears to have been forgotten. The Ajax Ere Divisie winner flew all the way Down Under and shone in midfield, where he will anchor South Africa’s engine room long after Gordon departs.

With Thuso Phala of SuperSport United and Mamelodi Sundowns title-winner Hlompho Kekana quiet, Serero got through a lot of work – and took a look of heavy challenges – but emerged unbowed.

Igesund said: “The journey starts now. This is a competitive bunch of players, they will go places. 

"SAFA’s vision is to be No 3 in Africa and among the top 20 in the FIFA world rankings and these boys will play a major role in the realisation of that dream.

"This tour will mark the beginning of a new era in South African football.

“I am very excited with what I have seen from them in the few days we have been together. They are eager to learn and want to leave a lasting impression.

“I now hope to take this momentum to New Zealand and if they produce the same form, we will enter the Africa Cup of Nations qualifiers on a high. I have massive belief in this squad. The players have the right attitude, are talented and they know what they want.”

But let’s not fool ourselves. This was a good result for Bafana but not a great performance. Too often the ball was wasted in midfield, possession was lost far too easily – and despite the muscular efforts of Bournemouth’s Tokelo Rantie, there was no sign of a revival up front for South Africa’s blank-shooting strikers.

What we did see was that the great “legends” of Bafana – who spectacularly failed to achieve qualification for the World Cup despite Ethiopia being docked three points during qualifying – are not badly missed.

There is depth in South African football. And we have young talent like Siyanda Xulu at Rostov, Peterborough’s Kagiso Nthle and AmaTuks Buhle Makhwanazi still to come.

So there is light at the end of the Bafana tunnel, whether Igesund departs when his contract expires in August or not. But for Australia? I won’t be betting on them in Brazil!

WHAT OUR SPORTS MINISTER SHOULD SAY TO SOUTH AFRICA'S CRICKETERS (after all, he said it to our footballers)

It takes three to tango: Mbalula, Smith, Zuma

The right honourable Fikile Mbalula should have issued THIS statement on South Africa’s cricketers on Saturday afternoon.

As our world-beating Proteas slumped to a huge 281-run defeat against the poxy Australian sons-of-convicts, we need the same sort of wake-up call Mbaks offered Bafana Bafana when they crashed out of CHAN last month.

Why does our Sports Minister not feel the need to decry our cricketers and rugby players in the same way as he sticks it to our footballers? This was South Africa’s third heaviest run-margin defeat of all time, and it happened at fortress SuperSportPark with captain Graeme Smith attempting to blame the conditions. I can only imagine it has something to do with the inbuilt fear of white expertise which sadly lingers in our society.

Of course, just as Bafana can redeem themselves with a friendly win over Brazil on March 5, so the Proteas can fight back in this three-match series against the Australians. Hopefully they'll be fired up for the second Test starting at Port Elizabeth on February 20.

So I’ve crafted this for our beloved “bliksem hulle” sporting spokesman, based in all but detail on his annihilation of our beloved Bafana Bafana on January 19, the night after that awful 3-1 defeat against Nigeria’s third team:

“What I saw there was not a problem of coaching, it was a bunch of losers who don’t have any respect for this country, or any respect for anybody. We must never wake up to this again.

“What did we come to see? Just a bunch of unbearable, useless individuals. Let them be told their performance was not even lacklustre, it was useless.

“We indeed have a crisis of monumental proportions and this first Test match at Centurion has proved that. The mediocrity we saw over four days is disgraceful. On Saturday, we saw a bunch of losers who lost by over two hundred runs.

"We must go back to the drawing board. That mediocrity that was displayed… we must never wake up to this situation ever again.

“Let’s not jump at one man. The CSA must look at this thoroughly. Russell Domingo is not the only problem in the team. If we are united, Haroon Lorgat would not have spent sleepless nights negotiating to get the players in to the nets. We should have fielded our best team for this Test, not a mediocre team.

“Some of the players think it is their right to be in the Protea team, some have been there but never won anything. We must forget this generation of players.

“They don’t respect their parents, their girlfriends and the nation. There is a need for a new generation of players as the current crop doesn’t respect the country. England did it when they got rid of players like Kevin Pietersen, so why can’t we? They must make way.

“I love Graeme Smith but I don’t know what was going on in his head. He was playing in front of his home supporters and I’m sure even his family was there, but what he did was unthinkable.

“I could have scored more runs than him. He reminded me of that spinner we got from Pakistan, who doesn’t take any wickets.

"I felt like just standing up and walking out.

"I saw people lining up after the game to greet them ... I won't greet them, I didn't even call them."

The original video of Fikile Mbalula’s lambasting of Bafana is here:

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Mickey Arthur. The Australians are taking the Mickey out of South Africa. Literally.

Like all good South Africans who are seeking a career beyond these shores, Mickey Arthur has come up with a foreign relative to back-up his new-found allegiance.
Yes, the 43-year-old apparently has sheepish Australian great-grandfather to go with the job as Australia’s first foreign national cricket coach.
So next time you see the former Proteas coach being interviewed after a squeaky Test victory, expect to hear him referring to sheep shearing, Kyle Minogue, Dame Edna Everage and sheilas rather than braai vleis, Sonia Herholdt, Evita Bezuidenhout and poppies.
It’s a sad truth that Kevin Pietersen and the gang of Anglo-South Africans – Matt Prior, Craig Kieswetter, Jade Dernbach and Jonathan Trott to naam maar a phew – feel the need to claim some sentimental allegiance rather than just the bright new passport.
But for Mickey to take that road comes as a bit of a shock. He goes into his new job with a series against neighbours New Zealand and I guess we can expect the instant switch of allegiances to go as far as reflecting the usual Aussie disdain for the Kiwis at The Gabba this week.

The first Test starts on December 1 and Arthur is already creating waves, picking four uncapped players including three sparkling new pacemen: Mitchell Starc, Ben Cutting and James Pattinson.

His first match in charge will be marked by the absence of FIVE of the men who recently toured South Africa: Shane Watson (hamstring), Mitchell Johnson (foot), Shaun Marsh (back) and Ryan Harris (pelvis) and Pat Cummins (heel).
Arthur took his new job at a fascinating juncture – just hours after Australia had wriggled out of a series defeat against South Africa at The Wanderers, chasing down a record 310 to win the second and final Test by just two wickets.
That they eventually drew the series 1-1 and avoided being the first since Bobby Simpson’s 1970 tourists to lose in South Africa had little to do with soon-to-be-appointed Arthur, more to do with captain Graeme Smith’s bizarre field-placings and bowling changes. No disrespect meant, Biff. Obviously.
John Michael Arthur, born in Johannesburg on May 17, 1968, went to Westville Boys’ High in Durban and scored 6,657 first class runs, including 13 centuries, in a career which was mired largely in Griqualand West and the Free State. He never played for the Proteas.
It was as a coach he truly excelled, leading South Africa from 2005 to 2010, a period which saw the nation rise to the top of the world rankings in Test and One-Day cricket – but when it came to the World Cups, he never quite succeeded in helping the Proteas rid themselves of the infamous “chokers” tag.
He fell out with Cricket South Africa – most do - and eventually moved to Australia to coach the Western Warriors in Perth.

When he parted company with that nice Gerald Majola bloke at CSA, captain Biff said: "It hurts to see him move aside. Mickey was integral in bringing stability and a lot of calmness to the side and he can be proud of what he achieved."

Arthur takes over the reins of his new country insisting: ''I don't think that it will matter, me being an outsider. You get respect straight away when you actually get the job but then you've got got to earn it during your period of time. I think I've earned that with any team I've been with and ultimately you wanted to be regarded and perceived as the best for the job irrespective of your nationality.
''My great grandfather was Australian and I will be looking to get residency here, so I really do feel I have an affinity with Australia.''
Grasping a contract which will see him through until after the 2015 World Cup, which will be held in Australia and New Zealand, he enthuses: ''To be coaching a team of the ilk of Australia is something I'm very, very proud about. I think I bring an unblinkered view, a view that having coached and analysed against a lot of Australian players during my time, but also having worked in the Australian system for the last year and a half I think I have got pretty much a really good idea of where we need to go with the team and what we need to do to have sustainable success over the next period of time.
''Every team I've ever coached, I've had a view on selection. I think that gives you a lot of credibility in the dressing room.''
His role as a selector leads, of course, to the inevitable question: What to do with former captain Ricky Ponting, who scored just eight runs in three innings this month in South Africa before a defiant – and match-turning – half-century in that epic win at The Wanderers.
Arthur growled: “I'll defer that to the first selection meeting,'' before a slight contradiction of his earlier comments about being an outsider: ''It's hard coming in from the outside without knowing what's going on in the team. We need a lot of information on that, something for (chairman of selectors) John Inverarity to take up.''

As it turns out, with five major injuries and four new caps, Ponting has been selected - and is likely to play on Thursday.
Though most cricket-speaking South Africans will wish “King Arthur” well in his new job, while fervently hoping Australia lose every game against his former homeland, Mickey himself concludes: “Australian cricket is in a very exciting phase. There are a lot of good young players coupled with the legends in the senior players. Young players need to be given quality opportunities."
Lest we forget: Arthur guided South Africa to a Test series win over Australia in 2008 - the first by any team on Australian soil in 15 years and a streak of nine unbeaten Test series.

Peter Roebuck: the eulogy nobody will have the courage to publish.

Peter Roebuck threw himself out of a sixth-floor hotel room window at around 9pm on Saturday night. His death at 55, while covering Australia’s cricket tour of South Africa, sparked a plethora of glowing tributes from cricket writers all over the world.

A decent opening bat and superb scribe, such eulogies failed to spark any feeling in this writer – and I suspect many cricket followers around the world felt the same. It turns out a uniformed policeman was questioning Roebuck at the time of his death in Cape Town.

We will never know for sure, but the word from a good source is this: the cop was questioning him about yet another sexual assault in a city where penniless young men are known to offer themselves to rich tourists to earn a few rand. He called a cricket-writing colleague to demand a lawyer then, with the policeman still in the room, he leapt to his death.

A great cricket writer yes. A great man? No. He spent his life calling a spade a spade on the cricket field but in the end, he dug his own grave.

Roebuck, one of many first class cricketers who forged a career after attending the fantastically privileged Millfield School in Somerset, was a bespectacled sort who first came to the world’s attention when he got rid of Ian Botham, Viv Richards and Joel Garner when he was captain of his county.

That was my first interview with the bloke, back in 1986. As I went in to the treatment room in Taunton to chat to him one-to-one for the Sunday Mirror, a young Somerset player at the time, who prefers now to remain nameless, jokingly warned me to “watch my bottom”.

The discussion went well. I came to no harm. I kept my back to the wall, I guess. I was young and naive. I didn't get a spanking but that comment stuck with me. Roebuck, everybody in the cricket world knew, was “dodgy” like so many other British public schoolboys who grew up in a boys-only school with jock-straps and lewd magazines for company.

Of course, he was right to banish Botham, Richards and Garner from the County Ground, he told me. They thought they were bigger than the club. The former England Public Schools captain neglected to mention the book he’d written with the great Beefy, how he’d clung on to Botham’s coat tails to get where he got.

While Botham was flamoboyant and popular, Roebuck was considered dull and unimaginative, though he did once captain England at a time when nobody else wanted to. Against the Netherlands. Unthinkably, they lost.

In all ways, removing the titanic trio from Taunton was simply a case of Roebuck asserting his personality on a thriving county cricket team that took years to recover from his machinations.

Roebuck retired from professional cricket in 1991 and went to captain Devon, a minor county in the English cricketing set-up. That he had tactical nous – and a penchant for writing about the game – was never in question.

But then the dark secret began to emerge. In 2001 he was convicted of “common assault” against three young South African cricketers who had come over to coach and learn the game (see http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1359991/Ex-Somerset-captain-caned-young-cricketers.html). Keith Whiting, Reginald Keats and Henk Lindeque, who were all 19 at the time, were procured while Roebuck was working overseas as a commentator. Roebuck persuaded them to live at his house while they were “under instruction”.

The first victim said at the time that Roebuck asked him to bend over and delivered three “forceful strokes” for failing to do his daily excercises properly.

The legal counsel at Taunton Crown Court said: “Roebuck then pulled the boy towards him, in what appeared to be an act of affection. He then asked if he could look at the marks on the boy’s buttocks, something which he in fact did.”

The second teenager was beaten by Roebuck when he failed to keep up on a run. He, too, was left feeling “considerable distress and humiliation”.

The third boy received similar treatment, being beaten by Roebuck and asked to show the marks.

The second boy, now living South Africa, said: “I did not consent to any assault but he is a dominant person who makes you feel that you must do as he says.”

Roebuck was originally accused of indecent assault for those acts, which occurred between April and the end of May in 1999. He eventually pleaded guilty to common assault. Tellingly, the judge said: “It was not appropriate to administer corporal punishment to boys of this age in circumstances such as these. It seems so unusual that it must have been done to satisfy some need in you.”

Roebuck said he warned the three South Africans he would use corporal punishment if they failed to obey his “house rules” adding he though they were “from a culture in which corporal punishment was accepted”.

Roebuck was sentenced to four months in jail for each count, with the sentences suspended for two years. Roebuck’s defence counsel insisted “more than 20 other promising young cricketers” had stayed at Roebuck’s house while receiving coaching and had never complained about any inappropriate behaviour.

Knowing his proclivities were now out of the closet, Roebuck began spending most of his time in Australia. There, his objective, hard-hitting writing went down well with the Sydney Morning Herald – and he was snapped up as a commentator for the ABC.

Soon, he was referring to Australia as “us” rather than England. He could offer withering critique of the fading Aussie cricket machine without fear of being contradicted.

And he could use his status as a public figure to continue his wicked ways. Strangely, where so many others would have been questioned over their criminal record, Fairfax newspapers and the Australian Broadcasting Corporation never bothered to check in to Roebuck’s past.

Look, Peter Roebuck was a fine cricket writer. But he used his status to procure vulnerable young men. That’s fact. The manner of his death and the reasons behind it will probably be hushed up. Cricket’s like that. Hansie Cronje and Bob Woolmer ditto. Some may feel we should consider Roebuck’s talents in his obituary. I think we should focus on the truth.

Russia and Qatar get World Cups, England gets two votes

This is all that matters:

Round 1: England 2 votes, Netherlands/Belgium 4 votes,Spain/Portugal 7 votes and Russia 9 votes.

Round 2: Netherlands/Belgium 2 votes, Spain/Portugal 7 votes and Russia 13votes (Russia obtain absolute majority)

In the end, after all the hype, all the spin, it was Russia by a mile. Their prime minister Vladimir Putin didn’t bother to go to Zurich yesterday, but by then he probably knew his vast nation would be hosting the 2018 World Cup.

England’s slick bid, backed by the Three Lions of David Cameron, David Beckham, Prince William and a 30-strong galaxy of stars, managed just two votes. Out first round. Ouch. Portugal and Spain will feel the same disappointment. They were convinced they had a least eight supporters. Belgium and Holland will be happy to have finished third.

But it was all so predictable. I said so here, a week ago. Russia for 2018 and Qatar for 2022. They have the money, the right profile for FIFA and Sepp Blatter. England and Australia would have been better choices for football, but hey, it’s all about profitability and breaking new ground.

Russia are promising to spend £6bn including ten new stadia. Quite how fans are going to travel around the biggest country in the world, I’m not sure. Crime? Corruption? Plenty of that too in Russia. But hey, if Putin and the Roman Abramovich gang are behind it with the cash, no problem.

Qatar are just the opposite in terms of size. A tiny nation promising to build a series of near-neighbouring stadia to host the 2022 World Cup. But they’ll have to provide air-conditioning too. I worked out there in the summer. It’s like a furnace. And hardly a footballing hot-bed. But hey, all that oil, all that cash... never a chance for the rival bidders, Australia, the USA, South Korea and Japan.

So England and former Arsenal chief executive David Dein are gutted. Just two votes from the 22—strong FIFA executive committee, despite providing the best presentation, the strongest technical bid.

Dein, so important to this bid, was on the verge of tears: “Football politics are difficult. Two votes? That’s where we are. I’m very sad. I hoped for better. We worked extremely hard. I tell you one thing, winning is one thing, losing is another.”

Prince William’s Royal approval was of no consequence. He said: “I’m immensely proud to have been part of it. Congratulations to Russia. It’s very sad, we gave everything we could. I’m sorry for the fans back home.”

Richard Scudamore, the Premier League chief executive, said: “You saw that presentation today. I thought it transcended all our expectations. Everybody was on message. It was fantastic. A great technical bid. Here were are empty handed.

“It doesn’t matter about rounds, it’s all about who won it. But clearly, as Mr Blatter said: “We are taking these World Cups to two new countries.” That is a difficult thing to come up against. We have the stadiums and the infrastructure. I sense the British media’s criticism may have had an effect but if it has had a bearing it would be disappointing.”

Like the Eurovision Song Contest, England just aren’t popular on the global stage. That much we know now. All those great Premier League stadia did little to warm our footballing cousins to the home of the game.

And the truth is, Russia and Qatar represent new markets for FIFA. Huge profits. Unlimited spending. How can anybody compete with that?

See also www.neal-collins.blogspot.com for earlier analysis of World Cup bids.

Day eight wrap-up: Great Danes, Sad Socceroos, Double Dutch, Anelka Banished and Rooney Apologises

On the day Nicolas Anelka was sent home by France for insulting coach Raymond Domenech and Wayne Rooney apologised to England’s long-suffering fans, the World Cup provided unexpected late night thrills here in Pretoria.

I suspect not many changed their Saturday night party schedule for Denmark versus Cameroon at the Loftus Versfeld rugby stadium but hey, you might have been converted. A chilly night on the Highveld provided only the second come-from-behind victory of the tournament in 26 games as Denmark pulled off a 2-1 win. It could have ended 10-10.

The two no-hopers in Group E, after a literally and figuratively pointless opening round, provided seriously entertaining fare. It nearly rivalled the USA’s 2-2 draw with Slovenia (we won’t mention the injustice of that scoreline, it’s already been discussed at length) and Greece’s 2-1 win over Nigeria.

Cameroon struck early through the great Samuel Eto’o, formerly of Barcelona, now of Internazionale in Milan. The man who threatened to withdraw from the tournament when he was criticised by the legendary Roger Milla, really looked like Africa’s top player again, rousing the crowd and the continent with a great first-half display.

After just 10 minutes, the former African player of the year benefited from another mistake from Danish defender Simon Kjaer. After his own-goal in the 2-0 defeat against Holland, he played a terrible cross-field pass, picked up by Achille Webo.

He squared for Eto’o, who made no mistake to slot past Thomas Sorensen. And that was just the start. End-to-end stuff ensued, with Eto’o hitting a post and Dennis Rommedahl cutting repeated swathes through the Cameroon defence.

Somewhere in the middle of all the excitement, Arsenal’s lanky goal-misser Nicklas Bendtner slid in on a Rommedahl cross to level after 33 minutes.

A breathtaking first half was followed by a dramatic second. After 61 minutes, Rommedahl was at it again. Charlton fans may remember his searing pace – he played 75 games for them between 2004 and 2007. Undimmed by 31 years of being knocked over by stolid left backs, he tore past Jean Makoun and bent the winner past Hamidou Souleymanou.

Cameroon, desperate to prove a force in Africa’s first World Cup, hammered away at Sorensen’s goal for the last half-hour. But Africa’s highest-ranked nation in South Africa – they’re 19^th- couldn’t produce the leveller. Like Nigeria, they have no points after two games – it’s been a tough tournament for the continent.

Day eight of an increasingly absorbing World Cup opened with Holland joining Argentina as the only sides definitely through to the knock-out stages. Their 1-0 win over Japan was no classic but the magnificent Moses Mabhida Stadium was packed to the rafters with Orange shirts celebrating a second-successive win for their side.

The Dutch fans had closed the motorways between Pretoria and Durban – a five-hour, 400 mile drive through the snow-covered Drakensburg mountains – as they travelled in convoy to follow their side on Thursday.

Bayern Munich’s Wesley Sneijder scored the only goal after 53 minutes. His firmly struck shot with the light Jabulani ball which appeared to deceive Japan goalkeeper Eiji Kawashima, who could only deflect the shot off his palms and into the net.

Japan coach Takeshi Okada, who looked close to tears at times during the game, said: “Our players tried everything they could. I'm really sorry for our supporters.”

Dutch coach Bert van Marwijk wasn’t fooled. This was hardly a classic case of Dutch total football. He said: “You've got to be happy about winning your first two games. But we can play better than that, and we'll have to.”

Then Ghana and Australia fought out a no-prisoners 1-1 draw in front of 33,000 at the Royal Bafokeng Stadium – a result which leaves the Soccceroos hanging on by their fingernails.

Ghana saw off Serbia in their opening game while Australia were beaten heavily, 4-0, by Germany. But day seven saw Serbia shock the Germans 1-0 – Group D really may stand for Death.

The Aussies went ahead through the lively Brett Holman after just 11 minutes but disaster struck 14 minutes later. Harry Kewell blocked a goal-bound shot on the line with his right arm and was sent-off despite pleading “look at the big screen, I didn’t mean it” as Italian referee Roberto Rosetti produced his red card.

Asamoah Gyan stuck away his second penalty of the tournament and it looked like Ghana would take control – but by the death it was 10-man Australia who were doing all the pushing.

Aussie boss Pim Verbeek said: “I’m proud of the players – playing with a man less for that long is not easy. We’re still in the race but it’s going to be difficult now. We need to win against Serbia and score at least three or four goals. Ok, that’s the job.”

Look, I know I rattle on about these things but, unbelievably, they want me to speak at South Africa’s National Arts Festival on July 4. Yes, it’s ridiculous. Me? Arts? Anyway, here’s the details if you can make it:http://www.computicket.com/web/event/neal_collins_a_game_apart/148367625

Mighty Monday: Action from Wembley, Soweto and Melbourne and the World Cup is nearly upon us

YOU know there's a World Cup on the horizon when you spend a Monday night being assailed by "friendly" football from around the globe. England 3-1 Mexico from Wembley, South Africa 1-1 Bulgaria from Soweto... not to mention Portugal drawing 0-0 with the erm... Cape Verde Islands and Argentina beating Canada 3-0.

But perhaps the big pre-World Cup story of the night comes from the greatest island in the world, where the vast Melbourne Cricket Ground witnessed Australia pipping New Zealand 2-1 in a friendly marred by appalling tackles.

Bearing in mind these two nations are generally expected to excel on the cricket and rugby fields, anticipation is high Down Under. But Aussie coach Pim Verbeek slammed his own players - Everton's Tim Cahill and Blackburn's Vince Grella - for a pair of awful tackles, both on Kiwi Leo Burtos.

Both would have been red card challenges in the World Cup and a fuming Verbeek said: "Vince's tackle was worse than Timmy's ... I can't find any reason why they should do what they did. I wanted to take them off immediately but you have to be a bit careful in a game like that.

"If I was the other side, I would have been a little bit mad and might have done something. But New Zealand were very professional and I applaud them - my players were not professional.

"It was a good lesson and I cannot accept what [Grella and Cahill] did. This is not how you should play the game. If it had been a World Cup game there would have been two red cards."

The South African game against Bulgaria was hardly a friendly either. Though all four Premier League stars missed the game in Soweto (Dimitar Berbatov, the Manchester United striker has retired from international football while South Africa’s trio of Benni McCarthy (West Ham), Steve Pienaar (Everton) and Aaron Mokoena (Portsmouth) were all rested) there was no quarter given.

England’s final appearance on home soil before flying out to Rustenburg on Monday was pretty competitive too.

Boss Fabio Capello chose to rest his four Chelsea stars (John Terry, Frank Lampard, Joe Cole and Ashley Cole) after their FA Cup final exertions and went with Tottenham’s injury-prone Ledley King next to captain Rio Ferdinand in central defence.

King promptly scored his first international goal in six years, latching on to club-mate Peter Crouch’s astute far post header. Crouch made it 2-0 from a standing position on the line and though Mexico’s limping Franco pulled one back just before half-time, Liverpool’s Glenn Johnson produced the moment of the match to wrap things up.

A quick one-two with an impressive Theo Walcott saw Johnson break through the Mexican line to bend a shot beautifully into the top corner. Superb.

Quotes of the night though came from World Cup organising committee chairman Danny Jordaan in Soweto. He said: “With the fans here tonight, and the performance on the field, it’s all going well. We can look forward with some optimism to the opening match.”

South Africa’s Brazilian boss Carlos Alberto Parreira said: “They had one shot on goal and they scored. The perfect result is always to win. But I’m happy with the performance. The Colombia friendly, our next game, will be different.”

That opening match sees the hosts take on Mexico at Soccer City on June 11. There were clues to how that would go from London and Johannesburg tonight. And some hard evidence. My advice to Parreira. Keep an eye on former Spurs man Giovani dos Santos, now playing in Turkey. He has lovely hair (permed and hair-banded) but don’t be fooled. The 21-year-old from Monterrey can play.

Okay, hints and allegations, incidents and accidents. I visited the Kiwi World Cup base at the Serengeti east of Johannesburg today. Stunning. But in truth, Argentina, Portugal, England, South Africa, Mexico, New Zealand and Australia have no real idea what to expect out here. And that’s how it should be. The World Cup is nearly upon us.

Lewis can't go much farther without his dad as Jenson hits all the right buttons in Melbourne

LEWIS HAMILTON'S week Down Under ended with a disappointing sixth place, a confiscated car and a live verbal barrage which proves what I keep telling my boys. Dad knows best.
Hamilton, with his father and axed manager Anthony left at home, could do nothing as new McLaren team-mate and world champion Jenson Button surged to an impressive victory at the Australia Grand Prix in the early hours of this morning.
Button, who showed plenty of personality with James Corden for Sports Relief last week, came away from Melbourne with his reputation significantly enhanced.
Just six laps in, he demanded a change of tyres and nursed his slicks through the 50 laps to the finish, leaving the field in his wake to repeat his Aussie triumph of last year.
Hamilton came in for tyres a lap later than Button, who had surprised McLaren with his decision. And then Lewis was called in by McClaren for a second stop on lap 35 when he was competing for second place with Robert Kubica 23 laps from the finish.
That second stop forced him down the field into a battle for fifth with local hero Mark Webber in his Red Bull. The pair came to grief with two laps left - I'd blame Webber, who lives down the road from me in Denham, Buckinghamshire. Desperate to impress his home fans, Webber crashed into the back of 2008 world champion Hamilton as they both attempted to pass Fernando Alonso in fourth. Like the rest of the top four, Alonso had made just one stop.
In the laps before that, Hamilton could be clearly heard complaining about the "frigging decision" to bring him in for a second tyre stop.
Afterwards Hamilton's chat to the BBC cameras was excruciating. He talked about how well he had driven. He insisted: "I probably had one of the drives of my life. But unfortunately due to the strategy I was put further back and then I got taken out by Mark Webber. I am happy with the job that I did.
"Everyone else in front of me did one stop and for some reason I did two.
"I'd already stopped once and my tyres were fine. I went for the second stop and worked my backside off to catch the 20-second gap. I didn't question it because I always trust the team.
"I had the pace to overtake Kubica and we could have had our first one-two, which would have been great for the team. But unfortunately that wasn't the case."
Hamilton added ominously: "We will find out who made the decision later."
Martin Whitmarsh, who took over from Hamilton's mentor Ron Dennis two years ago at the head of McLaren, then waxed lyrical about Button - with a veiled dig at Hamilton, who has been with the team since he was a pre-teen go-karter.
Whitworth said: "We could have had a one-two and inevitably there's a tinge of disappointment when you don't get it.
"I've already spoken to Lewis, he's someone who wants to win. The time at which we took the decision I personally believed it was the right call, but in hindsight you can now see how the race played out - the Ferraris didn't stop.
"If he'd stayed out and his tyres had been intact he could have been second. At the time, he was losing time behind Kubica and you could see graining on his rear left tyre.
"Those drivers who had pitted were going over a second a lap quicker so we believed it was the right call. To all intents and purposes I made the call as I could stop it or over-rule."
Classic stuff at the end of a fascinating race in Melbourne. After the procession in Bahrain to open the season two weeks ago, this was just what Formula One needed. No refuelling, but a fascinating 56 laps of cat and mouse.
Amongst the other highlights: Button crashing at the start and ending up facing the wrong way - but recovering to win. Michael Schumacher, forced into the pits to repair a nose cone after that crash, struggling to get past the tailenders in his Ross Brawn Mercedes. He eventually grabbed 10th for a single point.
But Hamilton's demise will dominate the headlines. Before the season began, he made the decision to drop his talkative father Anthony as his manager.
In truth, for 17 years, Anthony has been Hamilton's protector, bodyguard, accountant, spokesman and agent.
But this weekend he stayed home in Stevenage while Lewis made life difficult for himself.
On Friday night he was arrested for "hooning" - that's what Australians call wheel spinning - and he had his personal car confiscated by the local cops. He has also been slammed for stopping off in Los Angeles on the way to Australia to see his Pussycat Dolls girlfriend Nicole Scherzinger.
Then came a disappointing 11th in qualifying, and the misery of yesterday's race. It's true, he did produce some serious pace late in the race on his new tyres.
There's no question he's quicker than Button.But when he realised he couldn't make up the ground after his second stop he complained: "My tyres have gone off" and then produced his "frigging decision" outburst before the final, bitter judgement against the team that made him, the team that has been his family for so many years.
Just like Tiger Woods after the death of his father Earl, Lewis needs Anthony at his side. To keep him out of trouble, to keep his feet on the ground.
Otherwise the great Battle of Britain between Jenson and Lewis will be Buttoned up far too soon.
The other Battle of Britain - for the Premier League crown - veered Chelsea's way when they crushed Aston Villa, unbeaten for 10 games, 7-1. Frank Lampard scored four - two from the spot - and the in-form Florent Malouda added two more to the brace he produced against Portsmouth during the week.
Arsenal fell away in the title race, denied victory at Birmingham by a Kevin Phillips injury-time winner, while Manchester United went back to the top in the late kick-off on Satuday with a flattering 4-0 win over Bolton.
Chelsea won 7-1 with Didier Drogba on the bench, United won 4-0 with Wayne Rooney rested over a brujavascript:void(0)ised foot and sore knee.
The Blues meet the Red Devils at Old Trafford next Sunday. Lewis meets Jenson most Sunday from now until the end of summer.
I'm going with United and Button.

Haskell starts at Twickenham... as predicted

Yesterday I twittered James Haskell to tell him Lawrence Dallaglio is backing him to start for England against Argentina on Saturday at Twickenham. He turned things around when he came on for Leicester's Jordan Crane against Australia last week, full of energy and endeavour. Today, even better news... confirmation of his place in the first 15 despite leaving Wasps for Stade Francais in the summer.
Here's the story I wrote for the paper this morning:
YESTERDAY James Haskell was so miffed by the weather in not-so-sunny Surrey, he called for a radical move to summer rugby.
Today, he’ll be officially told he’s back in the England starting line-up for Saturday’s clash with Argentina at Twickenham, where the Windsor-born 6ft 4in loose forward will revel in the mud of a British autumn.
Through the mists of a winter’s morning at England’s Bagshot base yesterday, jameshaskell grumbled on www.twitter-com: “Raining and miserable at Pennyhill Park, but mood is good. Forwards and team session this morning.
“I vote we make rugby a summer sport, we would only have to compete with cricket. Bigger crowds, better games and more hospitality.”
Within hours twitters were flying and Haskell accepted: “Okay, taking some heat for my summer chat. Didn’t think about the hard grounds. But we live in England and the hardest it gets is medium soft.”
And, as news of his selection for Saturday began to permeate the England camp, that was soon followed by: “Keep it winter. Too many good arguments. Hard pitches are the main reason.”
And just to make things perfect for the No8 who moved from Wasps to Stade Francais last summer, his old Wellington College pal Paul Doran-Jones is in the squad too.
Best not to mention the pair of them were suspended over a video camera incident at one of Britain’s poshest public schools in 2003.
England boss Martin Johnson had little choice in calling up Gloucester’s Doran-Jones. With David Wilson and David Barnes forced out by injury, there are no other front-row options.
Bath veteran Duncan Bell and Tim Payne of Wasps will start at tight-head and loose-head with the versatile Doran-Jones as cover on both sides.
Northampton’s Dylan Hartley will start between them at hooker, with World Cup-winner Steve Thompson reverting to the bench.
Graham Rowntree, England’s scrum coach, said: “I like what I see in Paul. I’ve been watching him all season, I think he’s a true prospect for the future. He’s good at a lot of things and I give him my full backing.
“He’s good enough and that’s what we’ll tell him. Paul has a great attitude, he’s fitted in well since he’s been with us.”
Jordan Crane, replaced at No 8 by Haskell during the defeat against Australia last Saturday, has been told he can go back to train with Leicester this weekend.
And the full team? Probable: Monye (Harlequins); Cueto (Sale), Hipkiss (Leicester), Geraghty (Northampton), Banahan (Bath); Wilkinson (Toulon), Hodgson (London Irish); Payne (Wasps), Hartley (Northampton), Bell (Bath); Borthwick (Saracens, capt), Deacon; Croft (both Leicester), Haskell (Stade Francais), Moody (Leicester).
Replacements: Doran-Jones (Gloucester), Thompson (Brive), Lawes (Northampton), Worsley (Wasps), Care (Harlequins), Goode (Brive), Erinle (Biarritz).
England v Argentina,Saturday, live on Sky Sports 2, from 2pm
ELITE squad players sent back to clubs: D Strettle (Harlequins), B Foden (Northampton), M Tait (Sale Sharks), R Wigglesworth (Sale Sharks), S Armitage (London Irish), D Barnes (Bath), G Chuter (Leicester), J Crane (Leicester), B Kay (Leicester), D Wilson (Bath).