YOU CAN'T FOOL ALL OF THE PEOPLE ALL OF THE TIME: examining the Kaizer Chiefs "shopping spree"

CHICKEN INN BARGAIN: Michelle "Mitchell" Katsvairo

YOU can fool some of the people all of the time. You can fool all of the people some of the time.

But, like Abraham Lincoln, I’ve got a sneaking suspicion you can’t fool all of the people, all of the time.

When Steve Komphela last week claimed he searched high and low for new players to reinforce once-mighty Kaizer Chiefs, he’s not fooling around.

His reputation, his career, his future depend on inspiring the AmaKhosi to greater heights in the new season after a troubled first campaign at Naturena.

He inherited a team which had broken all sorts of records under Stuart Baxter and after a reasonable start he just could not keep the gold and black express on the rails. After beating SuperSport United on February 20 this year, they won just one game, against relegated AmaTuks, and the referee was extremely friendly that night. I was there.

Had Komphela's men, by now playing two midfielders up front, suffered that sort of form all season they would have ended up out of the top eight, looking over their shoulders at relegation.

Still, two failed cup finals and fifth place in the PSL would, by most standards, be judged “not that bad” by ordinary fans in normal leagues. But in South Africa the AmaKhosi, having won four trophies in three seasons under Stuart Baxter, were hoping for something better. Something a lot better.

Baxter told me on the day he won his second title last year: “Neal, I want to stay, but we need a major overhaul. I can name you 12 players who need to be recycled. And Bobby Motaung will not let me play a role in the changes we need to make. I can’t work like that.”

Baxter then rubbed salt in the wounds six months later when he took over from Gordon Igesund at SuperSport United, lifted the club in to the top eight and won the Nedbank Cup. You could almost feel the anger emanating from the club that has become known as the AmaDrawsi.

But I digress. A year after Baxter was replaced by Komphela, that major overhaul was carried out overnight. On May 31 this year, Motaung announced a list of 20 players who were not longer required.

Bobby, the Football Manager, claimed to have informed each player of their fate, telling them “this is the coach’s dossier on you, you are not needed at Kaizer Chiefs.” One player described his meeting with me, claiming "Bobby tried to ignore the fact I still had years left on my contract, he wanted me to leave without a word."

Remarkably, that list - longer than any I have heard of in 40 years of football reporting - was put out on the club’s official web-site. Some of the rejects claimed that was the first they had heard of it. Others felt it diminished the value of contracted players like Siboniso Gaxa and Siyanda Xulu. I believe it was simply a cost-cutting excercise, though how Chiefs with their multi-million sponsorships can be in financial trouble is beyond me.

The immediate question was: how do they replace those players? Why were the likes of Bernard Parker left untouched? How old is Ivan Bukenya? Can Bobby afford a really BIG NAME signing to thrill the worried fans?

After much speculation, last week we were assured Motaung had worked with Komphela and his agent Tim Sukazi to produce a long list of reinforcements after the apocalypse. But it didn't happen. There was no revelation, no name we hadn't heard meekly suggested in previous weeks.

And there was Komphela telling us: "We cast our eyes far and wide to ensure we brought the kind of players we believe will quickly adjust to our style of play.

"The players we have announced are very exciting. There are a number of changes in the team. We have to get the chemistry quickly so that we can get results.”

He may have fooled some of the fans. But the truth is Chiefs announced a list of just eight players, a mixture of free transfers, swaps and “undisclosed fees” from foreign clubs. 

Up front, where Camaldine Abraw - who was announced as “injured for nine months” at the press conference - scored just 4 goals, the hoped-for big-name signing of Tokelo Rantie, unwanted at Bournemouth, failed to materialise.

Instead, Lewis Macha, a one-cap Zambian playing in Mozambique, was joined by Emmanuel Letlotlo, promoted after top scoring in the Chiefs Asidlali reserves, and two Zimbabweans from Chicken Inn, Michelle Katsvairo (not Mitchell as they say up north) and Edmore Chirambadare.

Effectively, with Abraw injured, those four untested strikers - not youngsters, they’re all in their mid 20s - will have to provide Komphela with the spearhead he requires.

Edward Manqele, David Zulu, Bongani Ndulula and Siphelele Mthembu, last year’s largely untried strikers, are all on the OUT list.

Komphela, who ended last season with Siphiwe Tshabalala and Bernard Parker up front during the inglorious season-ending slump, told us: "We are happy with the quality the new attackers will add to the team in the coming season. We will get to see them during pre-season (he really did say that). We truly believe in Lewis' talent.”

And yes, among those four could be another Khama Billiat, given how little the club appears to know about their three new foreign strikers. We can only pray that dream comes true.

But you cannot fool all of the people all of the time. So far, Chiefs have given their fans eight cheap replacements and nothing to shout about. They have simply saved money. The one glaring example: Sundowns captain Ramahlwe Mphahlele arrives on less than half the R5m salary Xulu commanded when he arrived free from Rostov as a Bafana Bafana regular. 

Below, I’ve given lists of the unwanted players, the new signings and the possible future arrivals, all of the players approached by Motaung in a frenzy since his money-saving release of 20 Naturena refugees. I've even given a list of the players who would command a fee and are thus, for now, not likely to arrive at penny-pinching Chiefs.

My final foolish question is simply this: who would you rather stake your reputation on? Ndulula, Manqela, Mthembu and Zulu… or Michelle, Edmore, Emma and Lewis?

RELEASED BY KAIZER CHIEFS:

Contract not renewed:

1 Morgan Gould

2 Siboniso Gaxa

3 Reneilwe Letsholonyane

4 Reyaad Pieterse

Released from contract:

5 Philani Cele

6 Ovidy Karuru

7 Levy Mokgothu

8 Simphiwe Mtsweni

9 Shandukani Mulovhedzi

10 Chris Matombo

11 Zitha Macheke

Put on transfer:

12 Siyanda Xulu

13 Bongani Ndulula

14 Edward Manqele

15 Siphelele Mthembu

16 Sula Matovu

17 Ivan Bukenya

On loan:

18 David Zulu (Chippa United)

19 Andisiwe Mtsila

Swap deal:

20 Keegan Ritchie (with SuperSport United’s Sibusiso Khumalo)

THE NEW RECRUITS:

CONFIRMED LAST WEEK:

1 Keagan Buchanan, 25, Bloemfontein Celtic (free) Midfield

2 Sbu Khumalo, 26, SuperSport United (swap with Keagan Ritchie) Defender

3 Ramahlwe Mphahlele, 26, Mamelodi Sundowns (free, signed pre-contract) Defender

4 Michelle Katsairo, 26, Chicken Inn (R3m deal) Striker

5 Lewis Macha, 24, Clube Ferroviário de Maputo (undisclosed) Striker

6 Edmore Chirambadare, 24, Chicken Inn (R750,000 deal) Striker

7 Ennocent Mkhabula, 27, SuperSport United (released, free) Midfielder

8 Emmanuel Letlotlo, 18, Asidlali (new contract, promoted) Striker

STILL POSSIBLE

1 Lebohang Mokoena, 29, Mamelodi Sundowns (free, released) Striker/wing

2 Kudakwashe Mahachi, 22, Golden Arrows loan/Sundowns (free) Midfielder

3 Joseph Molangoane, 28, Chippa United (free) Midfielder

4 Siphelele Ntshangase, 23, Black Leopards (injured, free) Mid/striker

5  Aviwe Nyamende, 23, Shumba Academy (new contract) Defender

FEES REQUIRED

1 Thamsanqa Sangweni, 27, Golden Arrows (R4m) Midfielder

2 Evans Rusike, 25, Maritzburg United (undisclosed) Striker

3 Sibusiso Vilakazi, 26, Bidvest Wits (R12m) Midfielder

4 Thapelo Morena, 22, Bloem Celtic (R6m)

5 Prince Nxumalo, Ajax Cape Town (R4m) Striker

6 Anthony Laffor, Mamelodi Sundowns (R4m) Striker

7 Charlton Mashumba, Jomo Cosmos (R3m) Striker

8 Bantu Mzwakali, 22, Ajax Cape Town (R3m) Midfielder

9 Justice Chabalala, 26, Free State Stars (R2m)

The magical madness of King Shakes Mashaba: see it for youself in Polokwane on Wednesday

Fairy-tale characters: scorers Rantie and Ndulula

THIS morning we wake up to a brave new world in football-speaking South Africa. Congo have renamed their second city Three-Pointe-Noire, Bafana Bafana are top of their AFCON qualifying group and Ephraim "Shakes" Mashaba is being widely suggested as a future president.


Yesterday's 2-0 win has firmly re-established the reputation of our game, just as Orlando Pirates surge to the African Champions League final last year helped restore the pride in our diski.


But when it comes to analysis, how do we explain Mashaba's record of three games, two wins, one draw. How can we possibly unpack a situation which sees AFCON champions Nigeria bottom of the group with one point and much-maligned Bafana top with SEVEN... and NO GOALS CONCEDED.


Attempting to write my Neal and Pray column for www.thenewage.co.za today I found myself constantly coming up against logic as I attempted to reveal Mashaba's genius.


Our 64-year-old coach, who has only ever worked within the borders of South Africa (you have to included Swaziland at this point) came up against a 66-year-old called Claude LeRoy (who has enjoyed NINE international hot-seats) and utterly confounded the Frenchman, who had gone to Nigeria and WON in Congo's opening qualifier.


It all makes no sense. As SAFA President Danny Jordaan said at the end of July when Shakes was selected to replace Gordon Igesund: "Shakes was the cheapest option, yes, but cost was never taken in to account."


With Carlos Queiroz and Frank Rijkaard asking for figures upwards of R12m a year to run Bafana, Shakes took the job while he was embroiled in getting our Under 20 AmaJitas to their own African

Fine finish: Rantie's goal at Pointe-Noire
See vine HERE: https://vine.co/v/OADaEJ1tHg7

Youth Championship next year. It was a ridiculous scenario. He was off travelling up north while simultaneously trying to prepare the nation for a qualifying group featuring Steve Keshi's rampant Nigeria, dangerous Sudan and Rwanda... who were ultimately replaced by Congo after fielding an ineligible player.


Yet from this chaos, our AmaJitas beat Cameroon to qualify for their African Youth Championship and, as history now shows, he has guided the seniors to an almost impregnable position atop Group A despite that distraction.


It's utterly inexplicable. No international coach starts his task with another job to complete. No international coach goes in to continental qualifying not knowing much about how his guys are doin overseas. No international coach can be expected to succeed when he's been involved with kids and Swazis over the past decade after an embarrassing departure from the hot-seat ten years ago.


But Shakes has done all that. And more. He just doesn't care for logic. Look at Saturday's incredible selection decisions, a long list of brave but apparently crazy options.


Giving 17-year-old Rivaldo Coetzee his record-breaking debut in a place like Pointe-Noire was madness. Especially when you consider Coetzee is hardly a first-team regular at Ajax Cape Town. And then throw in the fact that he chose to break-up the all-conquering centre-back pairing of Tefu Mashamaite and Tower Mothoho, who have helped Kaizer Chiefs to a 12-match winning streak to start the season.

On your bike: Ndulula's acrobatic opener
See vine HERE: https://vine.co/v/OADawXIjVvW

In midfield, he discarded Ayanda Patosi and Kamahelo Makotjo but opted to fly Thulani Serero over from Ajax Amsterdam. Worse, he told Makotjo he "looked heavy" after making the FC Twente midfielder travel to Sudan and Cape Town last time out without a minute on the park.


Up front, Shakes appeared to have yielded to popular pressure, calling Orlando Pirates top scorer Kermit Erasmus in to the squad. And then what does he do? He leaves Kermit on the bench. He picks Bongani Ndulula, a striker who has done little to lift Amazulu off the foot off the PSL. And, worse, he adds goal-free Tokelo Rantie who can't make the starting line-up at English second-tier hopefuls Bournemouth.


But of course, it's in goal where Shakes has made his bravest decision. Orlando Pirates goalkeeper Senzo Meyiwa had travelled to these parts before. Nobody will forget his two penalty saves against TP Mazembe nearly two years ago, though few were allowed to see it as the television coverage was blacked out in Lumbubashe in neighbouring DRC.

To pick Meyiwa, weak on crosses and big on lurid front page headlines, was utter madness. To make him captain for the injured Kaizer Chiefs hero Itumeleng Khune was UNBELIEVABLE.


But as I have said on twitter from the start. SHAKES KNOWS BEST. Meyiwa proved unbeatable, I counted SIX good saves, one a brilliant bit of game reading when the Congolese took a tricky quick free kick.


In midfield, Dean Furman, plying his trade with lowly Doncaster in England, was magnificent next to Serero, Mandla Masango and Belgium based Andile Jali. And then came those two quick goals after half-time from Ndulula and Rantie.


Fairy-tale stuff. I can't explain it. Here's Shakes' attempt, quotes direct from SAFA after the game:

“I am happy to have beaten Congo for the second time. The first time I was a stand-in coach. We defeated them one nil, today it was two and I hope the next time it will be three. But it shows there is some improvement from the coaches, we are getting somewhere.

“It also shows we are on track with our vision. Sudan and Congo are no pushovers, and we lacked a bit of luck to defeat Nigeria. But things are working well. If you look at the personnel we brought in, they looked good.

"Youngster Rivaldo (Coetzee) was outstanding, Letsholonyane gave us what we wanted. Going forward we will bring in one or two more players because we are building a new side and I hope it will bring more results. Should we qualify for Morocco then we will test the strength of the squad at the tournament, and once we are done there we look forward to preparing for 2018 World Cup.

“It’s a combination of things because when you play good football without scoring it doesn’t help, but you can also play bad and get three points. But here we have combined the two because the boys are playing good football, it’s been quite a while since I last saw our team playing such good football. They are beaming with confidence as individuals, but the combination of the players means we are gradually achieving our goals."

He says it well, does Shakes. But it still doesn't explain his uncanny ability to take a bunch of footballers and make them play like their shorts are on fire.

On Wednesday evening at the new Peter Mokabe Stadium in Polokwane, South Africa gets the chance to see this Mashaba magical madness for themselves when the Congo fly in for the return game. Victory will just about ensure qualification with Sudan at home to come.

I suggest, very strongly, you get there if you can.


Vines thanks to Soccer Laduma's Joe Crann @yeswecrann