SIMPLY NDORABLE: How Tendai finally grabbed his chance with a Soweto Derby double

THE THREE-HOUR HAIRCUT: Tendai
Ndoro shows off the style... and the Man
of the match Nedbank Green Jacket

TENDAI NDORO. Talk of the town. Two goals to win Saturday's Soweto Derby. Did it come as a surprise? Hope not, I've been talking about him for months.

Right at the start of the season, when the 27-year-old Zimbabwean striker appeared in Orlando Pirates gear for the first time, you could see the exuberance in the man from Harare, his natural knack of challenging defenders, finding the target.

It wasn’t surprising. Ndoro scored seven for Mpumalanga’s Black Aces in his first six months in 2014, I remember one night wishing out loud on Twitter that he would somehow stumble across a South African passport and help solve the Bafana Bafana striker crisis.

When Mamelodi Sundowns and Pirates showed interest, Tendai - full name Takudzwa - might have been bewildered by his agent claiming English Premier League club Crystal Palace were interested. But he really did look that good.

A deal with Pirates finally emerged at the start of the season - Aces claimed he had another year to run on his contract but he found himself training with the Buccaneers by the time the season got underway.

Yet Ndoro found himself low down in the pecking order under Eric Tinkler. For months he watched as Kermit Erasmus, Thami Gabuza and Lehlohonolo Majoro took their places up front with varying levels of mediocrity.

At the time, with Pirates struggling in the lower half of the PSL, Ndoro said: “Talking about leaving Pirates in search of game time is something that is not in my vocabulary.” But you knew, in your heart, it wasn’t right.

I mentioned Ndoro’s life in limbo several times on Twitter. Nobody said much. But when Erasmus, claiming he was off to see the in-laws in Holland, signed for Rennes in France, Ndoro finally found himself taking a quick-step up the ladder.

Tinkler had little choice but to pick him as Gabuza self-destructed in front of goal and suddenly the cushion was discarded for the scoring boots. The games - and the goals - began to flow.

In the build-up to the Nedbank Cup Soweto Derby clash on Saturday, many were debating who should start up front. I said Ndoro was the obvious choice, though many felt Gabuza and Majoro were more likely.

Then God - the beardy guy who sometimes still brings out the old leather football boots - took a hand. Majoro did his hamstring in training and Ndoro secured his place.

He had a half-chance early on, then Kaizer Chiefs took over and hope began to fade. For 77 minutes, we suffered out way through the usual Soweto Derby boredom with an unusually sparse crowd.

Until the 77th minute. Mpho Makola put through a lovely ball which split the AmaKhosi’s makeshift defence. Good ball, but bouncing awkwardly. Ndoro brought it down in an instant, and to general hysteria, lashed the first goal past Reyaad Pieterse.

Five minutes later, he was at it again, banging in a laid-off free-kick low past Pieterse, bouncing in to the far corner. GAME OVER, though Ndoro produced a final curling shot just beyond the angle as he chased the fabled Soweto Derby hat-trick.

Afterwards, crowned Man of the Match with a hair-style he admits takes three hours to compose, Ndoro oozed: “That was my first Soweto Derby and I got two goals. That’s something you have to admire! I want to continue doing that, and not just in the derbies.

“Second half we wanted that one goal and we got it. That goal boosted us and helped us to get another one. I was pleased with it. Control, shoot, score.”

Tinkler explained Ndoro’s long-term exclusion by saying: “Tendai’s work-rate needed to increase. We’re a team in which everybody needs to work, and we can see he is doing that now.”

Then: “The way he expresses himself is important. We know Tendai has great ability in front of goal, when he gets the opportunity he must shoot because we know that nine out of 10 times he will hit the back of the net.”

Which rather begs the question: why didn’t we see more of him earlier in the season?

Goalless and distinctly Shaky: we can't blame Mashaba for missed chances but for everything else: AAAAAARGH!

LAUGHABLE: Mashaba and Jordaan

THE smallest nation on the African continent? Gambia. Even smaller than Swaziland. Population? Under two million. They don’t even have a professional football league at home.

But somehow South Africa’s 55 million must live with the frustration of another goalless draw at the Moses Mabhida Stadium on Saturday against the side currently ranked 160 in the world.

And all this after those appalling 0-0 draws with Botswana and Malawi at the COSAFA Cup, which BOTH ended in penalty shoot-out defeats. Guess who was hosting that one. Three home games, no goals. Urgh.

And before that? One point at AFCON 2015 after an impressive qualifying campaign under Ephraim “Shakes” Mashaba. We haven’t scored since the first half of our last game in Equatorial Guinea, where South Africa left with the equal-poorest record in the tournament.

Some insect species have lived an etire life-time, born, married, had kids and taken a pension since South Africa last won a competitive football match under the guidance of the man who insisted we would win AFCON 2015 and might still win the World Cup in 2018. Bollocks of course.

Sadly, in his lucid moments, the man now known as Shaky is also forced to repeat the same dull mantra tried endlessly by his predecessors. “We should have scored three or four in the last 15 minutes. If we’d done that, we’d be talking something different after the game.”

Yes Shaky, you’re right. But we’ve been saying that for years now. Mashaba goes a step further: “It’s not just a national team problem, it’s a South African problem, no team in the country scores goals.”

That’s simply not true. We cannot blame Mashaba for the glaring misses from Thabo Matlaba and Thuso Phala on Saturday, but we CAN ask about his selection policy.

After taking a look at the PSL’s top scorers Moeketsi Sekola (Free State Stars, 14), Lerato Lamola (Bloemfontein Celtic, 13) and Puleng Tlolane (Polokwane City, 11) and NFD goal-getter Phumelela Bhengu (22 for Thanda Royal Zulu), Shaky went in to the opening AFCON 2017 qualifier with a whole new forward line.

Inexplicably, Bonginkosi Ntuli, Vuyisile Wana and Gift Motupa were suddenly elevated to stardom, alongside Tokelo Rantie, who got married last Saturday.

Predictably, Rantie – who played 128 minutes in TOTAL for promoted Bournemouth last season, never turned up. The honeymoon was clearly too good to cut short. Kermit Erasmus, with 15 goals in all competitions for Orlando Pirates this season, went public on twitter to tell us he wasn’t a back up player. And he was on holiday in Holland.

So Mashaba plumped for Thamsanqa Gabuza, who scored three times for Pirates in the Confederations Cup against some outfit from Gabon after the season closed. During the actual PSL season, Gabuza failed to score a league goal while Erasmus and Lehlohonolo Major netted 18 between them.

And when it came to match day, Mashaba promptly ignored the other strikers chosen in the squad and plumped for Gabuza.

It makes no sense to do that. It de-motivates the players picked for the original 23 and leads mischievous journalists to believe some players are only slipped in to the squad to please certain agents.

It’s not just up front that Mashaba dithers. It's all over the field; often he calls up players who haven't even been playing regularly for their clubs, often on the advice of a friendly agent. Oh, and he likes to rotate goalkeepers and captaincy too, insisting: "What does a captain do anyway except toss the coin at the start of the game?"

Just look at the lack of leadership on Saturday, the lack of drive, urgency. But it's more. His substitutions on Saturday, as Gambia ran out of steam in their first competititive match since being banned for U20 age cheating in 2014, were laughable.

He whipped off Gabuza, the only real striker, and shoved on Thuso Phala, who promptly put a glorious chance straight in to the arms of the Gambian goalkeeper from six yards.

In the end, man of the match Thabo Matlaba had the best chances from left back, one well saved, the other fluffed high in to the Durban night sky.

Shaky says international selection has to be about consistency and form. But he leaves FC Twente’s Kamohelo Mokotjo – picked as the central midfielder in the Dutch Ere Divisie’s team of the season – at home, while picking Ayanda Patosi and the “banned” May Mahlangu.

It’s inexplicable. It’s obvious. This is a man who laughs off preparation, insisting he doesn't like spying on future opponents. This is a man who admits he's a motivator, not a tactician. A shouter not a thinker. 

But I've said all this and nobody listened. And the truth is, we have to give Shakes some breaks. SAFA are far too busy with the current FIFA allegations to deal with another Bafana Bafana coaching change. And Dean Furman, Tower Mathoho, Tefu Mashamaite and Rantie made last week pretty difficult.

We keep the faith. Group M has a long way to go. Cameroon and Mauritania will be touge than Gambia. The friendly against Angola could be disastrous. Yet we must believe in our coach and his unusual, often eccentric methods.

But please, Shaky… just this once. Let’s pick our strongest players FROM THE START. 

The magical madness of King Shakes Mashaba: see it for youself in Polokwane on Wednesday

Fairy-tale characters: scorers Rantie and Ndulula

THIS morning we wake up to a brave new world in football-speaking South Africa. Congo have renamed their second city Three-Pointe-Noire, Bafana Bafana are top of their AFCON qualifying group and Ephraim "Shakes" Mashaba is being widely suggested as a future president.


Yesterday's 2-0 win has firmly re-established the reputation of our game, just as Orlando Pirates surge to the African Champions League final last year helped restore the pride in our diski.


But when it comes to analysis, how do we explain Mashaba's record of three games, two wins, one draw. How can we possibly unpack a situation which sees AFCON champions Nigeria bottom of the group with one point and much-maligned Bafana top with SEVEN... and NO GOALS CONCEDED.


Attempting to write my Neal and Pray column for www.thenewage.co.za today I found myself constantly coming up against logic as I attempted to reveal Mashaba's genius.


Our 64-year-old coach, who has only ever worked within the borders of South Africa (you have to included Swaziland at this point) came up against a 66-year-old called Claude LeRoy (who has enjoyed NINE international hot-seats) and utterly confounded the Frenchman, who had gone to Nigeria and WON in Congo's opening qualifier.


It all makes no sense. As SAFA President Danny Jordaan said at the end of July when Shakes was selected to replace Gordon Igesund: "Shakes was the cheapest option, yes, but cost was never taken in to account."


With Carlos Queiroz and Frank Rijkaard asking for figures upwards of R12m a year to run Bafana, Shakes took the job while he was embroiled in getting our Under 20 AmaJitas to their own African

Fine finish: Rantie's goal at Pointe-Noire
See vine HERE: https://vine.co/v/OADaEJ1tHg7

Youth Championship next year. It was a ridiculous scenario. He was off travelling up north while simultaneously trying to prepare the nation for a qualifying group featuring Steve Keshi's rampant Nigeria, dangerous Sudan and Rwanda... who were ultimately replaced by Congo after fielding an ineligible player.


Yet from this chaos, our AmaJitas beat Cameroon to qualify for their African Youth Championship and, as history now shows, he has guided the seniors to an almost impregnable position atop Group A despite that distraction.


It's utterly inexplicable. No international coach starts his task with another job to complete. No international coach goes in to continental qualifying not knowing much about how his guys are doin overseas. No international coach can be expected to succeed when he's been involved with kids and Swazis over the past decade after an embarrassing departure from the hot-seat ten years ago.


But Shakes has done all that. And more. He just doesn't care for logic. Look at Saturday's incredible selection decisions, a long list of brave but apparently crazy options.


Giving 17-year-old Rivaldo Coetzee his record-breaking debut in a place like Pointe-Noire was madness. Especially when you consider Coetzee is hardly a first-team regular at Ajax Cape Town. And then throw in the fact that he chose to break-up the all-conquering centre-back pairing of Tefu Mashamaite and Tower Mothoho, who have helped Kaizer Chiefs to a 12-match winning streak to start the season.

On your bike: Ndulula's acrobatic opener
See vine HERE: https://vine.co/v/OADawXIjVvW

In midfield, he discarded Ayanda Patosi and Kamahelo Makotjo but opted to fly Thulani Serero over from Ajax Amsterdam. Worse, he told Makotjo he "looked heavy" after making the FC Twente midfielder travel to Sudan and Cape Town last time out without a minute on the park.


Up front, Shakes appeared to have yielded to popular pressure, calling Orlando Pirates top scorer Kermit Erasmus in to the squad. And then what does he do? He leaves Kermit on the bench. He picks Bongani Ndulula, a striker who has done little to lift Amazulu off the foot off the PSL. And, worse, he adds goal-free Tokelo Rantie who can't make the starting line-up at English second-tier hopefuls Bournemouth.


But of course, it's in goal where Shakes has made his bravest decision. Orlando Pirates goalkeeper Senzo Meyiwa had travelled to these parts before. Nobody will forget his two penalty saves against TP Mazembe nearly two years ago, though few were allowed to see it as the television coverage was blacked out in Lumbubashe in neighbouring DRC.

To pick Meyiwa, weak on crosses and big on lurid front page headlines, was utter madness. To make him captain for the injured Kaizer Chiefs hero Itumeleng Khune was UNBELIEVABLE.


But as I have said on twitter from the start. SHAKES KNOWS BEST. Meyiwa proved unbeatable, I counted SIX good saves, one a brilliant bit of game reading when the Congolese took a tricky quick free kick.


In midfield, Dean Furman, plying his trade with lowly Doncaster in England, was magnificent next to Serero, Mandla Masango and Belgium based Andile Jali. And then came those two quick goals after half-time from Ndulula and Rantie.


Fairy-tale stuff. I can't explain it. Here's Shakes' attempt, quotes direct from SAFA after the game:

“I am happy to have beaten Congo for the second time. The first time I was a stand-in coach. We defeated them one nil, today it was two and I hope the next time it will be three. But it shows there is some improvement from the coaches, we are getting somewhere.

“It also shows we are on track with our vision. Sudan and Congo are no pushovers, and we lacked a bit of luck to defeat Nigeria. But things are working well. If you look at the personnel we brought in, they looked good.

"Youngster Rivaldo (Coetzee) was outstanding, Letsholonyane gave us what we wanted. Going forward we will bring in one or two more players because we are building a new side and I hope it will bring more results. Should we qualify for Morocco then we will test the strength of the squad at the tournament, and once we are done there we look forward to preparing for 2018 World Cup.

“It’s a combination of things because when you play good football without scoring it doesn’t help, but you can also play bad and get three points. But here we have combined the two because the boys are playing good football, it’s been quite a while since I last saw our team playing such good football. They are beaming with confidence as individuals, but the combination of the players means we are gradually achieving our goals."

He says it well, does Shakes. But it still doesn't explain his uncanny ability to take a bunch of footballers and make them play like their shorts are on fire.

On Wednesday evening at the new Peter Mokabe Stadium in Polokwane, South Africa gets the chance to see this Mashaba magical madness for themselves when the Congo fly in for the return game. Victory will just about ensure qualification with Sudan at home to come.

I suggest, very strongly, you get there if you can.


Vines thanks to Soccer Laduma's Joe Crann @yeswecrann

Four points out of six. Can't argue with that, Shakes. But in a nation famous for striking...

Strike out: Ndulula against Nigeria last night

SHAKES MASHABA. Four points out of six. That's not a bad return for the resurrected national head coach, after a tricky trip to Sudan followed by a tough home start against African Champions Nigeria.

Last night Sudan lost 2-0 in the Congo before Bafana Bafana produced a performance of pure passion in front of 32,412 to hold Nigeria 0-0 and they currently fill the second qualifying spot in Group A for AFCON in Morocco next year.

Tower Mothoho's off-the-line clearance late in the second half might have been the decisive moment; an early chance for Oupa Manyisa, playing wide on the left, was the best South Africa could show for a sparkling first half.

Though Nigeria had eight shots to Bafana's three and 53-47% possession, Shakes argued: "We created more chances, we had more than seven. We should have scored one."

And in post-match patter reminiscent of Gordon Igersund and Pitso Mosimane's worst, he added: "This was a walk in the park, we should have slaughtered these people. We were all over them, should have scored at least."

It's easy to get carried away - Mashaba's passion and enthusiasm are undeniable - but in truth 0-0 was a fair result. And not a bad one considering that, in 9 previous games between the two nations, South Africa had won just ONCE.

In the space of a week, after successfully getting his beloved Under 20 AmaJitas past Cameroon to their African Youth Championship in Senegal next year, Mashaba appears to have produced a revamped, younger South Africa despite the obstacles thrown carelessly in front of him by the footballing gods.

Ayanda Patosi missed to flights from Europe to South Africa, allegedly ending up in tears somewhere in an airport departure lounge.

Resident goalkeeper Itumeleng Khune - with his captaincy under threat - crocked his ankle in the opening camp sparking all kinds of utterly unfair rumors.

Kermit Erasmus and Leohonolo Majoro, the in-form Orlando Pirates strikers, came in to form just too late for Shakes while FC Twente's Kamohelo Motkotjo (like May Mahlangu, Siyanda Xulu and Thulani Serero, our other top flight Europeans) didn't earn a single second on the park in Khartoum or Cape Town.

To add to the general discomfort, Bafana remain without a proper strip (Nike insist on launching in November, nobody really knows why), without a National Technical Director (a month later than Danny Jordaan promised) and without a recognized international striker (PSL top scorer Bernard Parker has only just returned for Kaizer Chiefs after ankle surgery).

And for all that, if South African can beat Congo in Brazzaville on October 10, they'll be top of Group A against all expectations. Having said that, if Bafana lost that one and Nigeria, as expected, win in Sudan, second place will become a battle to the death with Bafana finishing their campaign in Nigeria on November 15.

There was this too from Shakes in the post-match press conference: "Bongani Ndulula, we would't have pulled him out, he suffered a hamstring. I think one of the chances that we got – now don't say Tokelo Rantie couldn't – Ndulula with the composure and the skill to score goals, he would have done something."

There was no evidence of that. Ndulula shows little of the composure showed by Erasmus or Majoro this season, and the goal-getting headache Pitso and Gordon regularly highlighted remains apparent.

Elsewhere, with the old wood cleared out, man of the match Andile Jali and Dean Furman gave Chelsea's Jon Obi Mikel a torrid night in midfield. Thulani "Tyson" Hlatshwayo showed he can trade punches with the best and captain Senzo Meyiwa survived with his goal intact after his unexpected elevation to leadership 180 minutes ago.

Shakes had taken a deep breath before his parting words: "I wouldn't leave this mic without saying to the people, thanks very much.

"You could see they gave the boys the strength that they needed. We never had the armchair critics, everybody was positive, they were supporting the boys and it gave the boys the energy they needed. We say to them once more, thank you for coming, we appreciate it."

Crucially, at a time when SAFA are pushing something called Vision2022 (Shakes will be 71 by then) Shakes has kept hope alive for 2015. And for that alone, we say to you once more, thank you for coming back Shakes, we appreciate it.

SOCCERBALLZ! my innovative football show on www.ballz.co.za with Mark Fish airs every Thursday from 9am-11am. See Ballz' Youtube channel for our growing library of fascinating football interviews with the big names.

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news and read my “Neal and Pray” column every Tuesday in www.thenewage.co.za.