Goalless and distinctly Shaky: we can't blame Mashaba for missed chances but for everything else: AAAAAARGH!

LAUGHABLE: Mashaba and Jordaan

THE smallest nation on the African continent? Gambia. Even smaller than Swaziland. Population? Under two million. They don’t even have a professional football league at home.

But somehow South Africa’s 55 million must live with the frustration of another goalless draw at the Moses Mabhida Stadium on Saturday against the side currently ranked 160 in the world.

And all this after those appalling 0-0 draws with Botswana and Malawi at the COSAFA Cup, which BOTH ended in penalty shoot-out defeats. Guess who was hosting that one. Three home games, no goals. Urgh.

And before that? One point at AFCON 2015 after an impressive qualifying campaign under Ephraim “Shakes” Mashaba. We haven’t scored since the first half of our last game in Equatorial Guinea, where South Africa left with the equal-poorest record in the tournament.

Some insect species have lived an etire life-time, born, married, had kids and taken a pension since South Africa last won a competitive football match under the guidance of the man who insisted we would win AFCON 2015 and might still win the World Cup in 2018. Bollocks of course.

Sadly, in his lucid moments, the man now known as Shaky is also forced to repeat the same dull mantra tried endlessly by his predecessors. “We should have scored three or four in the last 15 minutes. If we’d done that, we’d be talking something different after the game.”

Yes Shaky, you’re right. But we’ve been saying that for years now. Mashaba goes a step further: “It’s not just a national team problem, it’s a South African problem, no team in the country scores goals.”

That’s simply not true. We cannot blame Mashaba for the glaring misses from Thabo Matlaba and Thuso Phala on Saturday, but we CAN ask about his selection policy.

After taking a look at the PSL’s top scorers Moeketsi Sekola (Free State Stars, 14), Lerato Lamola (Bloemfontein Celtic, 13) and Puleng Tlolane (Polokwane City, 11) and NFD goal-getter Phumelela Bhengu (22 for Thanda Royal Zulu), Shaky went in to the opening AFCON 2017 qualifier with a whole new forward line.

Inexplicably, Bonginkosi Ntuli, Vuyisile Wana and Gift Motupa were suddenly elevated to stardom, alongside Tokelo Rantie, who got married last Saturday.

Predictably, Rantie – who played 128 minutes in TOTAL for promoted Bournemouth last season, never turned up. The honeymoon was clearly too good to cut short. Kermit Erasmus, with 15 goals in all competitions for Orlando Pirates this season, went public on twitter to tell us he wasn’t a back up player. And he was on holiday in Holland.

So Mashaba plumped for Thamsanqa Gabuza, who scored three times for Pirates in the Confederations Cup against some outfit from Gabon after the season closed. During the actual PSL season, Gabuza failed to score a league goal while Erasmus and Lehlohonolo Major netted 18 between them.

And when it came to match day, Mashaba promptly ignored the other strikers chosen in the squad and plumped for Gabuza.

It makes no sense to do that. It de-motivates the players picked for the original 23 and leads mischievous journalists to believe some players are only slipped in to the squad to please certain agents.

It’s not just up front that Mashaba dithers. It's all over the field; often he calls up players who haven't even been playing regularly for their clubs, often on the advice of a friendly agent. Oh, and he likes to rotate goalkeepers and captaincy too, insisting: "What does a captain do anyway except toss the coin at the start of the game?"

Just look at the lack of leadership on Saturday, the lack of drive, urgency. But it's more. His substitutions on Saturday, as Gambia ran out of steam in their first competititive match since being banned for U20 age cheating in 2014, were laughable.

He whipped off Gabuza, the only real striker, and shoved on Thuso Phala, who promptly put a glorious chance straight in to the arms of the Gambian goalkeeper from six yards.

In the end, man of the match Thabo Matlaba had the best chances from left back, one well saved, the other fluffed high in to the Durban night sky.

Shaky says international selection has to be about consistency and form. But he leaves FC Twente’s Kamohelo Mokotjo – picked as the central midfielder in the Dutch Ere Divisie’s team of the season – at home, while picking Ayanda Patosi and the “banned” May Mahlangu.

It’s inexplicable. It’s obvious. This is a man who laughs off preparation, insisting he doesn't like spying on future opponents. This is a man who admits he's a motivator, not a tactician. A shouter not a thinker. 

But I've said all this and nobody listened. And the truth is, we have to give Shakes some breaks. SAFA are far too busy with the current FIFA allegations to deal with another Bafana Bafana coaching change. And Dean Furman, Tower Mathoho, Tefu Mashamaite and Rantie made last week pretty difficult.

We keep the faith. Group M has a long way to go. Cameroon and Mauritania will be touge than Gambia. The friendly against Angola could be disastrous. Yet we must believe in our coach and his unusual, often eccentric methods.

But please, Shaky… just this once. Let’s pick our strongest players FROM THE START. 

Four points out of six. Can't argue with that, Shakes. But in a nation famous for striking...

Strike out: Ndulula against Nigeria last night

SHAKES MASHABA. Four points out of six. That's not a bad return for the resurrected national head coach, after a tricky trip to Sudan followed by a tough home start against African Champions Nigeria.

Last night Sudan lost 2-0 in the Congo before Bafana Bafana produced a performance of pure passion in front of 32,412 to hold Nigeria 0-0 and they currently fill the second qualifying spot in Group A for AFCON in Morocco next year.

Tower Mothoho's off-the-line clearance late in the second half might have been the decisive moment; an early chance for Oupa Manyisa, playing wide on the left, was the best South Africa could show for a sparkling first half.

Though Nigeria had eight shots to Bafana's three and 53-47% possession, Shakes argued: "We created more chances, we had more than seven. We should have scored one."

And in post-match patter reminiscent of Gordon Igersund and Pitso Mosimane's worst, he added: "This was a walk in the park, we should have slaughtered these people. We were all over them, should have scored at least."

It's easy to get carried away - Mashaba's passion and enthusiasm are undeniable - but in truth 0-0 was a fair result. And not a bad one considering that, in 9 previous games between the two nations, South Africa had won just ONCE.

In the space of a week, after successfully getting his beloved Under 20 AmaJitas past Cameroon to their African Youth Championship in Senegal next year, Mashaba appears to have produced a revamped, younger South Africa despite the obstacles thrown carelessly in front of him by the footballing gods.

Ayanda Patosi missed to flights from Europe to South Africa, allegedly ending up in tears somewhere in an airport departure lounge.

Resident goalkeeper Itumeleng Khune - with his captaincy under threat - crocked his ankle in the opening camp sparking all kinds of utterly unfair rumors.

Kermit Erasmus and Leohonolo Majoro, the in-form Orlando Pirates strikers, came in to form just too late for Shakes while FC Twente's Kamohelo Motkotjo (like May Mahlangu, Siyanda Xulu and Thulani Serero, our other top flight Europeans) didn't earn a single second on the park in Khartoum or Cape Town.

To add to the general discomfort, Bafana remain without a proper strip (Nike insist on launching in November, nobody really knows why), without a National Technical Director (a month later than Danny Jordaan promised) and without a recognized international striker (PSL top scorer Bernard Parker has only just returned for Kaizer Chiefs after ankle surgery).

And for all that, if South African can beat Congo in Brazzaville on October 10, they'll be top of Group A against all expectations. Having said that, if Bafana lost that one and Nigeria, as expected, win in Sudan, second place will become a battle to the death with Bafana finishing their campaign in Nigeria on November 15.

There was this too from Shakes in the post-match press conference: "Bongani Ndulula, we would't have pulled him out, he suffered a hamstring. I think one of the chances that we got – now don't say Tokelo Rantie couldn't – Ndulula with the composure and the skill to score goals, he would have done something."

There was no evidence of that. Ndulula shows little of the composure showed by Erasmus or Majoro this season, and the goal-getting headache Pitso and Gordon regularly highlighted remains apparent.

Elsewhere, with the old wood cleared out, man of the match Andile Jali and Dean Furman gave Chelsea's Jon Obi Mikel a torrid night in midfield. Thulani "Tyson" Hlatshwayo showed he can trade punches with the best and captain Senzo Meyiwa survived with his goal intact after his unexpected elevation to leadership 180 minutes ago.

Shakes had taken a deep breath before his parting words: "I wouldn't leave this mic without saying to the people, thanks very much.

"You could see they gave the boys the strength that they needed. We never had the armchair critics, everybody was positive, they were supporting the boys and it gave the boys the energy they needed. We say to them once more, thank you for coming, we appreciate it."

Crucially, at a time when SAFA are pushing something called Vision2022 (Shakes will be 71 by then) Shakes has kept hope alive for 2015. And for that alone, we say to you once more, thank you for coming back Shakes, we appreciate it.

SOCCERBALLZ! my innovative football show on www.ballz.co.za with Mark Fish airs every Thursday from 9am-11am. See Ballz' Youtube channel for our growing library of fascinating football interviews with the big names.

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news and read my “Neal and Pray” column every Tuesday in www.thenewage.co.za.

Rambo Igesund turns negatives in to positives. There'll be no World Cup CAR crash in Cameroon.

GOOD GORD! Igesund as Rambo from the Star back page today

GORDON IGESUND told the assembled journalists in Yaounde yesterday: “The facilities have been good. Training has been great. We have no complaints.”

A few hours afterwards he laughs: “Not quite true of course. But that’s what I want the Central African Republic to hear!”

It’s typical Gordon. South African football’s head coach is a tough bloke, right back to his days as a no-nonsense striker in Durban in the 1980s, where defenders feared to tread on his toes. Bulletproof like Rambo, as the Johannesburg Star illustrated today on their back page.

Day one of Bafana Bafana’s trip to Cameroon – allegedly neutral territory but in truth the lad of Issa Hayatou and his Francophone football clique at CAF – started badly and got steadily worse.

On Wednesday afternoon at Douale, the commercial capital, South Africa’s 34-strong travelling party for the crucial World Cup African Group A qualifier were told their flight to Yaounde, the legislative capital, had been cancelled. Something about tyres on the aeroplane.

Pitch battle: The stony training ground in Yaounde,
from Robert Marawa's facebook page today

With no relief in sight, Gordon ordered a bus. They made the five-hour trip through Cameroon by road, with one member of the party revealing: “It was a real eye-opener.”

Arriving late with one training session already abandoned, Igesund’s men then found the training ground they’d booked in preparation was “unavailable”. Another delay while a new ground was sought. It turned out to be the facility pictured on the right.

Igesund laughs: “It was unbelievable. Rocks everywhere, holes, even the goalposts were a mess. So we found a corner with a bit of grass and did some warming-up excercises. I didn’t want to risk injury.

“I was angry, of course I was. The whole thing was a disgrace. I’d love to know the full story behind the cancelled flight. But I had warned the players to expect this sort of thing. They’re not fond of us in these parts.

“I told the players afterwards, on Thursday night, they can throw as many obstacles in our way as they like, it only makes us stronger. And to be fair NOT ONE of my players made a single complaint, you know? They were good as gold.

“Today (Friday), we finally got to train at the stadium itself. It’s not bad. It’s a big pitch, plenty of grass on it. There are a couple of bumpy patches but really, in African terms, it’s like Wembley.

“Tokelo Rantie (who arrived from Malmo in Sweden after last week’s 2-0 friendly win over Lesotho on the astroturf at Maseru) looks sharp. I’m even considering playing three up front!

“Yeye and Shabba (from double-winning Kaizer Chiefs) are looking good, the team is shaping up. The centre-back pairing (Tower Mathoho and Thabo Nthethe) are looking solid and I’m very, very confident. I want to pick up from our home game, where we beat CAF 2-0.

“If we can do that again, we’ll be well on our way. And then we’ve got Ethiopia in Addis Ababa next weekend. Win that one and we just need to beat Botswana in our final game to top the group.

“And don’t forget, Ethiopia have got Botswana tomorrow – our neighbours drew 1-1 with Egypt last week, they could do us a favour, couldn’t they?

“Look, we know it will be a tough, tough game. They’re a physical side (the latest FIFA rankings show CAR at 59, South Africa at 60) but so were Lesotho (155) and if we can keep the ball, use our talented players, I’m confident.

“I can promise you we won’t be under-estimating them.

“But I have a very good side, despite the injuries. We have a good squad, Itumeleng Khune is a great goalkeeper, we will take these problems we’ve had and use them. We’ve turned the negatives in to positives.

“We know the nation is watching. Thank you for for your support Neal. I hope your 3-0 prediction (made live on South Africa's eNCAnews tonight at 7.45pm) doesn’t cost you your hair again!”

With thanks to Gordon and Robert Marawa on Metro tonight.