HIT FOR SIX: Arsene Wenger explains how Arsenal contrived to lose his 1000th game in charge. With gusto.

Strange way to celebrate: Wenger can't watch his 1000th game in charge

There can be no words to explain how Arsenal fans feel about Arsene Wenger's 1,000th game in charge. Just like those drubbings against Manchester City and Liverpool, Chelsea were 2-0 up in seven minutes and romped to a 6-0 triumph.

The ageless Samuel Eto'o scored after just four minutes, Schurrle added the second in the 7th, Eden Hazard converted the much-talked-about penalty (more of that later) after 17 minutes and by the time lethal Oscar added the fourth and fifth, South African Gooners may have been asking if this was murder before sub Salah completed the rout.

Jose Mourinho, now unbeaten in 11 clashes with Wenger, celebrated his greatest triumph for Chelsea (their next-best was 6-1 against Macclesfield in the FA Cup, 2007) by saying: "We started so strong. After seven minutes it was all over. We were too strong for them."

The man who controversially described Wenger as a failure a month ago didn't need to say much more.

Without a trophy win since Patrick Vieira stuck home the penalty shoot-out winner against Manchester United to lift the FA Cup in 2005, Wenger has now gone 508 of those 1,000 games without silverware.

Here's what Wenger said afterwards. No further words are required:

"This defeat is my fault, I take full responsibility for it. I don't think there's too much need to talk about the mistakes we made. We got a good hiding today.

"It's how we respond now on Tuesday night [against Swansea] and the best way is not to explain too much the mistakes.

"Yes, of course it's one of the worst days [in my career]. It's over after 20 minutes and it's a long game after that. You don't prepare all week to experience that kind of experience."

Who me? Gibbs is wrongly dismissed

There was one moment of light relief for Arsenal fans at Stamford Bridge, where Arsenal haven't won since the days of Bergkamp and Wright.

When Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain made a flying save to a shot going wide (an obvious red card), referee Andre Marriner erroneously dismissed Kieran Gibbs amid much confusion.

Though it hardly matters on a day when Arsenal's title hopes were emphatically crushed, Wenger explained: "I believe it was handball but the referee hasn't seen it. The ball went out and I think it's Chamberlain who touched the ball. I don't know who gave indication to the referee that it was handball but he has certainly not seen it.

"Of course. it's a huge disappointment today but we want to win the next game now."

What Wenger failed to explain to the BBC is why his side consistently starts the early kick-off Saturday afternoon games so badly... and why he didn't start with defensive midfielder Mathieu Flamini against a Chelsea side flying high at the top of the Premier League. 

If there IS a gala dinner to celebrate Wenger's 1000th game in charge, it might be a good last supper to avoid.

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The news every Gooner dreads: moneybags Manchester City keen on Robin van Persie

IT’S official. The news every Gooner has been dreading. Manchester City and their ridiculously rich backers have targeted Arsenal’s goalden Dutchman Robin van Persie. Arsene Wenger won’t be surprised. He’s already seen Kolo Toure, Emmanuel Adebayor, Gael Clichy and Samir Nasri head north to Eastlands, lured by the oil-soaked Dirhams on offer from Sheikh Mansour in Abu Dhabi. Arsenal’s bank balance may have improved, but as every Gooners knows, they’re struggling to compete without that handy quartet. Now Roberto Mancini, with his side top of the Premier League, had told The Sun in London: “All good teams are interested in him. At this moment, Robin van Persie is one of the best strikers in Europe with Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo, Sergio Aguero and Mario Balotelli.” Bloody Mancini. He’s already got Aguero and Balotelli on his books. Edin Dzeko isn’t bad. Adebayor is on loan at Spurs and Carlos Tevez is lurking somewhere in the twilight between an apology and Argentina. Five world class strikers is an expensive luxury. Six would be ridiculous. But Mancini is only too aware that without Van Persie, Arsenal would be taken out of the equation as a Premier League threat. With 25 goals this season, he leads the English goalscoring charts by seven from Wayne Rooney. Without those goals, Arsenal probably be languishing somewhere just blow the middle of the tables, with fans at the Emirates Stadium having a right go at Gervinho, Maroune Chamakh and Theo Walcott every week. Arsenal’s potential demise only encourages Mancini, who said: "We are interested in all good players. If there is a good player who wants to leave a club, then we are interested.” Mancini, like Pep Guardiola at Barcelona and Jose Mourinho if he stays at Real Madrid after winning La Liga this season, won’t be put off by Van Persie’s repeated claims of loyalty to Wenger. At 28, he’s out of contract at the end of 2013. The giants are waiting to swoop, with money no object if Van Persie doesn’t sign a new deal before the end of the winter. Mancini claims: "If Van Persie leaves I don't think he will be cheap because he has one year left on his contract. If, for example, you wanted to buy Napoli's Edinson Cavani he would be maybe £30million. "I think Van Persie will sign a new contract. He is Arsenal's best player and it is difficult for them to give him to another club. "I think he is a fantastic striker but I think he will remain with Arsenal." Then why talk about him at all Roberto?

Wenger lives to fight another day. But it's lucky, lucky Arsenal

Will we look back one day and talk about the winter’s evening Arsene Wenger was 45 minutes from resigning his post as manager of quadruple European Champions Arsenal?

In five years, when Wenger is 67 (still three years younger than Sir Alex Ferguson is now), will we look back at the three highly fortunate goals, and sigh "Lucky, lucky Arsenal" like they used to in the 1930s when titles were ten-a-penny at Highbury.

I hope so. He’ll have been there 20 years by then. But some will remember.

That day in late January, 2012 when they were 2-0 down against Aston Villa at half-time? Not 48 hours after telling fans he was intent on winning the grand old FA Cup, the Frenchman from German-speaking Strasbourg found himself all at sea and sinking faster than a cruise ship captained by an Italian with wet socks.

Villa just did what Wolves, Fulham, Swansea and Manchester United have done in recent weeks. Exploited a flat-footed Arsenal defence. After a neat-interchange down the left, Robbie Keane’s teasing cross set up an aerial one-on-one between Laurent Koscielny (there are far better centrebacks in the local Sunday League than this particular Frenchman) and the old warhorse Richard Dunne. Only one winner. 1-0.

Then, with Arsenal pressing and the half-time pie beckoning, Villa did it again. Stephen Ireland set up Darren Bent, who timed his run to perfection before unleashing. Arsenal’s deputy Pole-in-goal Lucasz Fabianski blocked but Bent was there to finish the rebound. He generally has been throughout his career.

At half-time,  former England manager Graham Taylor witnessed Wenger being roundly booed by the Gooners and said: " You see your side in total control but you don't see the opposition goalkeeper worked, that is what is frustrating people."

That, and a six-year trophy drought. And that record-breaking three-match losing streak which has put Arsenal in danger of missing out on the four Champions League places.

But after the break, God smiled. Even Wenger smiled.

First Dunne, the opening goal scorer already booked, slides through Aaron Ramsey. Stupid challenge. He’d already lost the ball. Penalty but no sending off. Robin van Persie (who else?) slots it.

Minutes later, Walcott breaks down the right, beats one, cuts in and tries a stupid shot from a ridiculous angle. Given gets a touch, then Alan Hutton – yes, a former Spurs fullback – clears straight in to the unknowing Walcott and the ball bounces in, 2-2. How lucky was that?

And they were ahead on the hour when Koscielny of all people charged forward, perhaps fired-up by his half-time roasting for that first Villa goal. In slides Bent with a strikers tackle and it’s another penalty. Van Persie goes the other way. 3-2. A miracle.

Though there was a slight feeling that they may just have scored those three goals too soon, Arsenal held on.

Lucky? Oh yes. But a win’s a win. Wenger lives to fight another day. Specifically against Middlesbrough or Sunderland in round five towards the end of February.

On a weekend where we had witnessed the embarrassment of England's cricketers being skittled for 72 by Pakistan and Novak Djokovic winning the longest-ever Grand Slam final against Rafa Nadal in Melbourne, the Emirates was able to match the drama.

It is never pleasant being attacked by a swan. Ask Arsene Wenger

Up the Swanny: Arsenal beaten 3-2

I was attacked by a swan once, circa 1999. When I invaded his island with my son Kriss on the Misbourne River in Chalfont St Peter, Buckinghamshire. His name was King Tut. Hit me with his wing, left a mark like a baseball bat on my back. Still have nightmares, falling face first in the river, nearly unconscious.

And it felt like that watching Arsenal play the Swans yesterday. Hit by a baseball bat. Drowning in mediocrity. De Ja-bloody-vu it was.  A nerve-jangling, devastating 3-2 defeat to follow the appalling reverse against Fulham, the hopeless draw against Wolves. And Manchester United to come to the Emirates next week. Oh, God, no.

Swansea manager Brendan Rodgers, the former Chelsea youth boss who struggled in charge at Reading, is loving his life of freedom at the Liberty Stadium. They actually outplayed Arsenal, out-passed them. Afterwards he said: "We have a great belief that we can play and pass. Some of our ball retention today was incredible. It's always going to be a fantastic football game against Arsenal. Strictly come passing! They've been doing it for years, we're only beginning. It's great to win such a game."

Predictably, Arsene Wenger kicked-off his post-match comments insisting "it was never a penalty" and said: "We missed some great chances at 3-2, and at this level we cannot afford that. We made massive mistakes on the third goal. It's difficult to explain. We'd just come back to 2-2 we knew we had what it takes to score the third goal.

"It's a bit down to the fact we shuffled the defence around, some players do not play in that position. But in the last two games we have given away cheap goals.

"They played well, they're a good side. They had a lot of possession in their half. But it's just a side like ours. At 1-0 up and 2-2 we don't want to make mistakes like we did.

"I feel we can still make a strong bid for the top four. But today and at Fulham, we lost the game. And we cannot afford that."

The start was predictable enough,. Robin van Persie, as ever, got the early goal, a personal best 18 for the season. It's going to be a record for the Dutch master. I bite the coffee table, snog the cat... and the security in my fingerprinted estate in Centurion on the Hennops River in South Africa (where there are many, many swans, black and white) was called to investigate the screams.

Then what happens?

The only Welsh side in the Premier League gets one back. The softest of penalties as Aaron Ramsey - yes, a Welshman - touches a home player. Nathan Dyer, superb yesterday, collapsed like the Dying Swan, but without the balletic grace.
Dyer said afterwards: "What a massive confidence boost. We passed it around well, played them at their own game. We've got the same philosophy as they have. It was a great game of football for the neutrals."

On the penalty, he said: "He kicked my foot, I just went over. Look, we're just enjoying playing in the Premier League. Every game, luckily for us we're doing well. We've got a good work ethic."

Scott Sinclair - five from five from the spot this season - tucks away the penalty, Sche... Swech... the Polish keeper can't get to it and it's 1-1. Swansea are holding the ball like Arsenal used to when they had Samir Nasri, Cesc Fabregas and Jack Wilshere (remember him? Me Neither) and then Van Persie gets another sight of goal... and fails to beat Michel Vorm with a much easier chance than his first.

Dyer flashes a shot in, 40 minutes gone, this time Scze... Schew... the Polish keeper gets to it. But it's only a matter of time. Like the devastating Fulham defeat, Arsenal have the lead but can't hold it. Can't even hold the ball.

Half-time. Level at 1-1. The agony is just beginning. Surely not a defeat against the promoted Swans? Not this weekend when Spurs dropped two points at Wolves and fourth place remains a realistic hope? Lose this and we're four behind Chelsea in the last Champions League spot.

On the Premier League's international programme we watch here on SuperSport in SA, Andy Townsend says he can't see a touch by Ramsey on Dyer. Alan Curbishley says he can. All I can see is Ramsey doing the splits, barely brushing Dyer. The Arsenal man is lucky to escape injury. Dyer is lucky to escape an Oscar.

But it matters not. As we shall see very soon, this Arsenal side is far too fragile. They are not Champions League material, though they have qualified to face AC Milan in the knock-out stages next month. This will be their last European Cup campaign for a while.

After 56 of those agonising minutes, Wojciech Szczesny (yes, that's the Polish keeper, with the J, W, Y and two Zs in all the right places) is beaten again. Nathan, the Dyer Swan, capitalises after yet another stray pass from Andrei Arshavin, the bloke who once said he qualified as a fashion designer at home in St Petersburg.

Go back to the needlework, Meerkat. It's only fair. Your species may scare snakes, but these Swans were entirely impervious to your threat. Off he went, past Wenger, substituted without even an apology to the baying Gooners so desperate for a sniff of a trophy after six lean years.

On the hour mark, the bearded wonder arrives. Thierry Henry. Scorer of the only goal on his comeback debut on loan from the New York Red Bulls. Will this be a repeat of the 2-1 defeat at Fulham or the 1-0 FA Cup win over Leeds?

It’s going to be neither. First Theo Walcott levels, a brilliant finish for once from the man we all hoped for so much from. But within 45 seconds, David Graham has the Swans back in front. Per Mertesacker fails to see the run. Inexplicably, he stops. Szczesny gets his angles all wrong.  That's the 25th goal conceded away from home for a ramshackle team of supposed title contenders.

On Twitter, the world explodes. Virtual roars, oaths and despair. Incredible. Dramatic. Conceding in seconds. Never seen anything like it.

Oh yes we have. Remember the 4-0 lead against Newcastle that became a 4-4 draw? Remember Fulham a couple of weeks ago? That’s when we saw it. Arsenal fans are used to it. We can’t defend a lead. Not even four goals.

I can see King Tut coming down the river at me, framed by weeping willows. Swans are dangerous. Especially on their own territory. I said it at half-time, it was back to haunt us all, we Gooners.

Mertesacker misses a chance to level from a corner, then he is removed by Wenger, who is going for broke. Apparently the German has an illness. But he appears to have been off-colour since January when he made his surprising arrival in North London. Sick as a bloody parrot he's been.

I've seen better centre-backs in South Africa... try Erick "Tower" Mathoho at Bloemfontein Celtic, Arsene. Or perhaps you could approach rivals Spurs and ask if you could have Bongani Khumalo, the cool Bafana Bafana centrehalf, currently not being used on loan by Reading.

As a Ramsey header thumps in to Vorm's chest, we have seven minutes left. Manchester United to come next weekend, and Arsenal are 3-2 down to Swansea, who have been creating chances at the other end. Appalling.

Tomas Rosicky has two late chances, Koscielny has another, Vorm repels them comfortably. Van Persie wriggles and writhes in injury time, but nothing can save them. For the sixth time this season, the travelling Goonners fall silent.

Swans? They're a bloody nightmare.

Fallen giants Marseille make Arsenal's problems look puny: 15th in the table, huge debts and they aren't even safe in their beds!

Arsenal fans may be feeling a little sorry for themselves this season – but Gooners should have a look at the fortunes of fallen French giants Marseille, tonight’s Champions League opponents.

The only French club ever to win the European Cup – they did it in 1992-93 when the controversial Bernard Tapie was in charge – are making Arsene Wenger’s problems look puny.

We could start with plain old domestic form. In England, Arsenal are currently 10^th, just back in the top half of the Premier League, after their Robin van Persie-inspired 2-1 win over Sunderland last weekend.

Olympique de Marseille? In the far weaker Ligue 1, they could only manage a goalless draw at Toulouse where midfielder Charles Kabore was sent off on Saturday night. That left France’s World Cup-winning captain Didier Deschamps and his troubled troops 15^th after 10 matches, 14 points behind table-topping Paris St Germain, with just one win to their credit this autumn.

While Arsenal’s board proclaim loud support for Wenger, Marseille’s owner Margarita Louis-Dreyfus complains: “The team aren't playing like they should given all the money that I've put in, if I was a true businesswoman, I would have already sold the club.”

And after the latest crisis meeting at the Velodrome, Marseille defender Rod Fanni wasn’t fannying about. He said simply: “Our team is unwell. It's difficult to explain but without doubt, it's a confidence problem."

And it doesn’t end there for the footballing respresentatives of the second largest city in France. How about this for a unique problem: over the past two years, 10 of their players have suffered “home jacking” in the Mediterranean port famously plagued by crime.

In July, Brazilian defender Vitorino Hilton was at his “security-gated” home with 10 family members when an armed gang of six broke in just before midnight. They held the footballer's relatives hostage before hitting Hilton on the head several times with a gun and escaping with “cash, jewellery, computers and designer bags”.

Hilton, who has subsequently moved to Montpellier, said: "As I'd been hit on the head, I was bleeding a lot, my children panicked. They wanted to go back to Brazil.”

In March, Marseille’s big-name Argentinian midfielder Lucho González was left traumatised after an armed gang attacked him and his family at home in neighbouring Aix-en-Provence. In a bid to protect their players – and ensure potential new signings won’t be put off by the local criminal gangs – Marseille have had to set up private security patrols around players' homes.

Not that they can afford it. Last Friday the club declared a £13.5m (R150m) loss for the previous financial year. Though penny-pinching Arsene Wenger hasn’t won a trophy since Patrick Vieira’s penalty won the 2005 FA Cup, Deschamps managed to break his club’s 17-year trophy drought – reaching all the way back to that subsequently discredited Champions League triumph – in 2010 with a Ligue 1 title.

But since then Deschamps has been involved in an ongoing war with sporting director Jose Anigo and the fans, who believe the former French “water carrier” as he was once described by Eric Cantona, is too negative.

This year they are managing about a goal a game as they struggle for survival, let alone a place in the European qualifying spots.

Though Wenger may covet strikers Loic Remy and Andre Ayew, Marseille’s dynamic duo, he will be aware that Deschamps’ record signing last season - Andre-Pierre Gignac – was forced to attend a pre-season “fat-camp” in Italy and was nearly consigned to Fulham on loan in January.

Ironic then, that Wenger and Arsenal arrive at the Velodrome intent on snuffing out the one speck of light in Marseille’s tunnel of doom – the Champions League. While their domestic form has been decidedly dodgy, Olympiakos and the heavily-fancied Borussia Dortmund have both been beaten in Group F with Ayew – son of the great Abedi Pele – scoring twice in their emphatic 3-0 win over the Germans.

I’ve been to the Velodrome four times to watch both football and rugby. It’s an intimidating venue in an intimidating city. Largely uncovered and still boasting that unique cycle-track shape, the 60,000 capacity is currently limited to 42,000 loud Marseillais during renovations. But it’s not an easy place to go as Manchester United found out last season when they were held 0-0 there in the round of 16.

Wenger says: "Marseille are a good team but they are under pressure a little bit like we are in the league because they didn't start as strong as they would have expected.

"That puts more pressure on you. They have done well in the Champions League, certainly, because it is a competition where there is a bit less expectation and they are less under pressure."

And Wenger, like Deschamps, knows all about pressure.

Your match by match verdicts as South African and English Premier Leagues kick-off

So Arsenal have lost Samir Nasri (£22m to Manchester City) and Cesc Fabregas (£35m to some club in Catalunia) but apparently Jadson, the 27-year-old Brazilian from Shakhtar Donetsk, is arriving for £12m. Given Gervinho's arrival for a similar fee last month, that makes a cool profit of around £13m for Arsene Wenger.

But he's not a banker, he's a football manager. And Arsenal are without a trophy for six years. Perhaps the only way that will change will be a brief foray in to the London for a quick bit of silverware looting as our slightly doctored picture shows.

English experts are saying Manchester United will win the Premier League again this season, with big-spending rivals Manchester City runners-up. Chelsea in third, with Liverpool edging Arsenal for the fourth Champions League spot. That leaves Spurs in sixth, possibly Aston Villa seventh. Relegation looms for promoted pair Swansea and Queens Park Rangers plus perrenial strugglers Wigan, though Wolves may howl too. Norwich, up as champions, should survive.

In South Africa, so much depends on those two big European striker signings. Will Benni McCarthy roll back the years (and confound West Ham fans) at Orlando Pirates? Can Bernard Parker thrive in a Kaizer Chiefs zebra shirt? I think both will do okay if fit.

That puts Chiefs and Pirates in the top two with Mamelodi Sundowns and Ajax Cape Town completing the top four. Ajax without Thulani Serero may struggle to stay ahead of Supersports United and Gavin Hunt's new-look outfit. Jomo Sono's Cosmos will go straight back down with Platinum Stars, backed by the Bafokeng mining millions, the surprise package.

But for a match by match verdict, have a squint at this... then get down to the betting shop:

English Premier League

Saturday

Blackburn 2 Wolves 0 (Arsenal regret not signing Samba)

Fulham 2 Aston Villa 2 (Darren Bent both goals for Villa)

Liverpool 3 Sunderland 2 (Gyan can't do it alone, King Kenny magic)

QPR 0 Bolton 0 (Yawn)

Tottenham v Everton (postponed, riots stopped play)

Wigan 1 Norwich 2 (Canaries singing)

Newcastle 1 Arsenal 0 (Wenger offers to resign)

Sunday

Stoke 0, Chelsea 3 (Torres hat-trick)

West Brom 1, Manchester United 1 (Rooney injured, Fergie fuming)

Monday:

Manchester City 6, Swansea 0 (Welsh rabbits in the spotlight)

South African Premier League
Tonight

Santos 1 Moroka Swallows 2 (Ingesund revival continues)

Black Leopards 0 Orlando Pirates 1 (McCarthy comes on for ten minutes)

Saturday

Free State Stars 2 SuperSport United 2 (Gavin Hunt’s new boys settling)

Platinum Stars 1 Ajax Cape Town 2 (But they miss Serero)

Golden Arrows 1 Bloem Celtic 2 (Arrows off target)

Kaizer Chiefs 4 Jomo Cosmos 2 (Majoro the hero, not Parker)

Sunday

Mamelodi Sundowns 3 AmaZulu 1 (Killer Mphela on the loose)

Maritzburg Utd 0 Bidvest Wits 0 (Yawn)

That's it. I'll put the Crystal ball away.

Cesc finally goes to Barca as the Premier League season dawns... and he's paying for it

CESC FABREGAS made one last visit to Arsenal’s London Colney training ground last night – to clear the personal belongings from his locker.

After three years of “will-he-won’t-he”, the 24-year-old will finally return to Barcelona, the club he left as a 16-year-old, just 24 hours before the big Premier League kick-off in England.

According to the Sun, Arsenal and Barcelona have agreed a £35.9m (R400m) fee – but Fabregas has cleared the way for his return to the Nou Camp by returning a £4.5million “loyalty bonus” due to him from the Gunners.

The low point in the long-running Fabregas transfer came last month when Estanislau Fors, the mayor of Cesc’s birthplace Arenys de Mar near Barcelona, said: "We all want Cesc to come home to Barcelona because at the moment he is living in a kidnapping. If Arsenal are truly English gentlemen they should start behaving as such. They need to stop clowning around."

They have. The final blow came when club captain Cesc refused to travel to Lisbon last Saturday, where Arsenal were beaten 2-1 by Benfica. Boss Arsene Wenger, under huge pressure after six years without a trophy, said: “Cesc is not injured. He’s training normally but hasn’t played since Bolton, which is two and a half months. The situation with Cesc? I don’t want to talk about it any more.”

Arsenal will earn a further £5m from the deal – dependent on his appearances and trophies for Barca and Spain. Fabregas played 212 games for Arsenal, scoring 35 goals, but failed to pick up a single winners’ medal.

Wenger is also resigned to losing French midfielder Samir Nasri, who could even make his debut for Manchester City in their Monday-night Premier League opener against Swansea.

Nasri, also 24, has only one year left on his contract and with City prepared to pay him £180,000-a-week, Arsenal have little choice but to accept a £25m transfer fee from the richest club in football. City, backed by Abu Dhabi billionaire Sheikh Mansour, have already grabbed Gael Clichy, Emmanuel Adebayor and Kolo Toure from north London’s reds.

Arsenal striker Marouane Chamakh was quoted yesterday saying: "I think both Cesc and Nasri will probably leave the club."

For Arsenal, who kick off their season against Newcastle on Sunday, the loss of Fabregas and Nasri will do little to encourage worried Gooners.

Though £12m Gervinho and youngster Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain have both been signed in the summer, the anxiety over central defence remains unsolved. Efforts to sign experienced centre-backs along the lines of Chris Samba, Gary Cahill or Phil Jagielka have come to nothing. Instead, Birmingham’s Scott Dann, 24, is expected to arrive for £8m this week.

Carl Jenkinson, the full-back signed from Charlton for a paltry £1.5m, has distinguished himself with a bizarre pre-season own goal in Germany which you can see here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwjfZduiJ5Q.

Valencia’s Juan Mata and/or Shakhtar Donetsk's Brazilian star Jadson are also under scrutiny, but Arsenal fans – used to seeing their club miss out on the big names – aren’t holding their breath.

They will be more concerned at the failure to extend the contracts of established stars Robin van Persie, Alex Song and Theo Walcott. This time next year, all three will have just a year left on their contracts, leading to further transfer sagas.

The dead wood - Sebastien Squillaci, Nicklas Bendtner, Andrey Arshavin, Abou Diaby, Manuel Almunia and Denilson – remain unsold, though Denilson, after a diatribe against his own club, is now at Sao Paolo on loan.

The only other big transfer likely to happen as the Premier League kicks off involves the long-running switch of Croatian Luka Modric from Spurs to Chelsea – with Israel’s Yossi Benayoun now being offered to Harry Redknapp, who has seen his side's opener against Everton tomorrow postponed due to the riots in London. South Africa captain Steven Pienaar thus gets further recovery time after his hernia operation.

Manchester City’s unsettled Argentinian Carlos Tevez will go to Inter Milan on loan – but only if Cameroon’s Samuel Eto'o moves to big spending Russians FC Anzhi Makhachkala to become the best-paid player on the plant. Anzhi, based in the capital of the Republic of Dagestan, are offering him £300,000-per-week.

Premier League opening fixtures (SA kick-off times):

Saturday:

Blackburn v Wolverhampton, 4pm

Fulham v Aston Villa, 4pm

Liverpool v Sunderland, 4pm

QPR v Bolton, 4pm

Tottenham v Everton, 4pm

Wigan v Norwich, 4pm

Newcastle v Arsenal, 6.30pm

Sunday:

Stoke v Chelsea, 2.30pm

West Brom v Man Utd, 5pm

Monday:

Manchester City v Swansea, 8.45pm

In the Championship, fresh from playing in South Africa’s 3-0 win over a below-strength Burkina Faso, Bongani Khumalo flies in to play for Reading at Sven Goran Eriksson’s Leicester on Saturday, with Kagisho Dikgacoi’s Crystal Palace at home to Burnley. Portsmouth, with wantaway Aaron Mokoena still on board, travel to promoted South Coast neighbours Brighton.

It's Make Or Break For Arsenal As Partizan Belgrade and Man United Loom

Suddenly, it all comes down to this. One fateful week which could well decide Arsenal’s fate after six barren trophy-free years.

On Wednesday night, with their English rivals Chelsea, Manchester United and Spurs already qualified, Arsene Wenger’s men must end a run of two successive Champions League defeats by beating Partizan Belgrade at the Emirates to assure their progress to the knock-out stages.

Then it’s off to Manchester United as the Premier League’s top two battle it out for supremacy on Monday night.a

Two defeats, and Wenger will be tearing what’s left of his hair out with impatient fans calling for the German-speaking Frenchman to go. Two wins and all will be rosy for the scarlet-clad Gunners, Wenger will be safe and the bottle-throwing tantrums will subside.

Amid the gloom of Thomas Vermaelen announcing he was out until the end of the year, Arsenal full-back Bacary Sagna, he of the beaded hair, volunteered as the Gooner spokesman in this, the week of all weeks for his team.

One of the safest full-backs in the Premier League, Sagna – capped 29 times by France but of Senegalese descent – argues quite rightly: "We do not want the season to be over at the end of December. Win these two games and we will give even more power to the team.

"It’s about time we won these big games. Against Chelsea, we dropped points, at home we have dropped so many points. At United, we want to play our game and win.

"Going top of the League was great on Saturday. But we need to be more focussed. We have to win at home. We have to keep looking forward."

Fellow Frenchman Samir Nasri has emerged as Arsenal’s unlikely hero with the pivotal Spaniard Cesc Fabregas injured. His two goals put paid to Fulham’s challenge on Saturday and Sagna, 27, recognises his importance: “Sami is now showing his best and has more to show,. We only beat Fulham because of him, He is a really good guy and fits in well with everyone on the pitch. He gives us a good balance.”

Balance is all very well. Sagna arrived in North London in 2007 and hasn’t had a sniff of a trophy since he arrived. Memories of Arsene Wenger’s three early title triumphs have faded. It’s time the Gunners stopped firing blanks.

Nasri, 23, says: “Before I felt too much pressure to score, I wanted it too much maybe. Now I don't worry as much. I'm more at ease in the game and I'm not just looking for goals, I'm looking to work for the team. I think I'm more mature in my football game. I think more with my head.”

“When I'm in front of a goalkeeper I am more relaxed now.”

He’ll need to be relaxed in front of goal at Old Trafford on Monday. A lot depends on it.

Who the hell is Neal Collins? See nealcollins.co.uk or nealcol on twitter. Currently in Ngwenya, overlooking the Crocodile River and Kruger National Park. You should see this place.

Breaking news: Mike Ashley, the Newcastle chairman, sacks manager Chris Hughton. I guess everyone knows Ashley, from Maidenhead in Berkshire, is a Spurs fan? What a fool that man is!

Cesc Fabregas: Arsenal's magnificent maestro... but for how long?

CESC FABREGAS you are magnificent. The way the 23-year-old tore Braga apart at the Emirates Stadium on Wednesday night was little short of Messi... or Maradona.

He scored two and made two in a near-record 6-0 win, thrilling the 59,000 crowd and millions around the world as the Champions League whirred back in to action this week.

But how gullible do you think Arsenal fans are, Francesc Fàbregas i Sole? After the game, sweat dripping from that talented brow, he said: “I have always felt I belong here. I am happy at Arsenal.”

Tell that to the shirt sellers in Barcelona, where the letters F-A-B are already in great demand at the Nou Camp souvenir shop.

Every Gooner knows what happens at the end of the season. The star goes home. Cesc, born in Villasar-de-Mar, watched his first game at the Nou Camp aged six months. He was barely out of nappies when the Barcelona Academy snapped him up.

Incredibly, like Nicolas Anelka and Mathieu Flamini, Emmanuel Frimpong and so many others, he was lured away on a cheap flight to London as a 16-year-old by the ever-persuasive Arsene Wenger in 2004. And Cesc appeared to love it.

For six years he has thrilled Gooners and made Catalunians envious. His talents have lifted north London and though Arsenal have gone trophy-less since he broke through to the first team, he is already a modern master, right up there with Charlie George, Dennis Bergkamp and Thierry Henry.

Wenger himself admitted after his stunning display against Braga: “You don’t get many players like him. He is one of the biggest in the game.”

But he knows as well as any of us that Fabregas, pictured “accidentally” in the stripey strip of Barca after Spain’s World Cup win on July 11, will be off to pastures Nou next summer.

Joan Laport and his not-so-well-off board might have snatched him last summer if they’d had the money. But they know his blood runs the blue-and-red of Barca rather than the red-and-white of Arsenal.

On May 5, when the transfer row was at its peak, he said: “When you see that things are going so well, I think I would like to go to Barcelona. Then if they want me or not is another thing. It’s what I want and what I would like.”

And then there was this from Barcelona’s sporting director, Txiki Begiristain on May 18: “It’s great news that he wants to come here and I think that one day Cesc will have to come to Barca.”

And on July 30, after new president Sandro Rossell had failed with a £30m bid, Barcelona’s World Cup winning centre-back Carles Puyol announced: “Cesc is having to stay at a club where he no longer wants to be for another year. I wonder how intelligent it is keeping a player who doesn’t want to be there.”

Says it all really. Having spent six weeks with Fabregas in South Africa, Puyol would know a little bit about how he thinks.

A long meeting with Wenger followed when Barca’s interest switched to David Villa and there was Cesc on Wednesday night insisting: “I am happy at Arsenal.”

The unbeaten Gunners travel to Sunderland on Saturday. Steve Bruce will have watched his performance on Wednesday and will have worked out a few tactics to cope with the Catalunian’s prodigious talents.

Let’s see, when the boots are flying, how the Arsenal captain copes at the Stadium of Light. And then let’s hear what he has to say.

Oh, How England Needs a Big Night In The Champions League Tonight

IF ever there was a time English clubs could do with a Champions League boost, it’s right here, right now. How grim was all that last night?

Arsenal and Chelsea go in to their opening games this evening knowing there has rarely been a worse first night for the English Premier League, usually so dominant in Europe.

There were signs last season that the EPL’s grip was loosening and with United held 0-0 by Scottish champions Rangers at Old Trafford and Spurs relinquishing a 2-0 lead to draw 2-2 at Werder Bremen’s Weserstadion, it was not a night to remember.

United boss Sir Alex Ferguson, perhaps mindful of his roots in Glasgow, pronounced himself merely “disappointed” with a truly dreadful deadlock while Spurs manager Harry Redknapp was “frustrated” after what he called “a perfect opening 43 minutes”.

Though FC Twente, the Dutch champions managed by Englishman Steve McClaren last season, held holders Inter Milan 2-2, the Spanish big guns fired with some gusto – Lionel Messi scored a cracker in Barcelona’s 5-1 win over Greeks Panathinaikos while Valencia crushed Turkey’s Bursasport 4-0.

Further Anglo gloom was added by the awful ankle injury suffered by Antonio Valencia. Oh, and the much-hyped return to action of Wayne Rooney was hardly worth staying up for either. He appeared to hurt his own left ankle and did little on the field – other than pull his shirt over his head when he saw the extent of Valencia’s injury.

The £16m Ecuadorian has a fractured and dislocated ankle – much like those suffered by Arsenal’s Eduardo and Wasps rugby player Danny Cipriani in recent years – which left his boot at right angles to his shin. He’ll be out for the rest of the season. At least.

In the light of Valencia’s injury, Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger, who welcomes Portugal’s unfancied Braga to the Emirates Stadium tonight, chose an apt time to talk about Abou Diaby’s injury. He suffered a heavy challenge from Bolton’s Paul Robinson on Saturday.

Robinson wasn’t booked – in fact Arsenal didn’t even get a free kick. Diaby must wait for the swelling to subside before a diagnosis can be made but Wenger raged: "It's the ankle on which he had surgery. We don't know how long he will be out. The tackle was very bad. I cannot protect the players; only the FA can do that.

"I love the English game but people are more interested in controversy than protecting the players. Why should I create another story? You asked me how the tackle was and it was bad.

“But I don't know if my views are taken seriously. Diaby has been injured from an unfair tackle. I've watched it 10 times and it is an unfair tackle.”

Yes, we get it Arsene. It can get nasty out there. Now get on with winning a trophy. It’s overdue.

Chelsea boss Carlo Ancelotti took a more typical approach to his side’s trip to Slovakian Double winners MSK Zilina. He made the now traditional Blues prediction: "This club deserves to win the Champions League. But to win, you have to deserve it not for the past, but we have to do it for the present.”

With Didier Drogba suspended as he always is at the start of a new European dawn, 21-year-old Daniel Sturridge, 21, will start up front.

Ancelotti named his side early, saying: "I've never seen a player as quick as Sturridge. He has improved a lot in the past year. He has improved his character, his professional behaviour. He has matured.

"We want to involve more young players compared to last season. Gael Kakuta played on Saturday, and on Wednesday we will play Daniel Sturridge from the beginning."

The English champions certainly have the talent and depth to do better than their three English rivals. But whether they can match Barcelona, Jose Mourinho’s Real Madrid – who face Ajax tonight – or Bayern Munich – who host Roma – is another matter completely.

Tonight’s schedule in full:

AC Milan v Auxerre, GpG, 19:45

Arsenal v Braga, GpH, 19:45

Bayern Munich v Roma, GpE, 19:45

CFR 1907 Cluj-Napoca v Basle, GpE, 19:45

Marseille v Spartak Moscow, GpF, 19:45

MSK Zilina v Chelsea, GpF, 19:45

Real Madrid v Ajax, GpG, 19:45

Shakhtar Donetsk v Partizan Belgrade, GpH, 19:45

You Can Keep Your El Classico: Give Me Spurs v Arsenal and a Reliant Robin Van Persie any old day

YEAH, yeah, yeah. Lionel Messi against Cristiano Ronaldo. Catalan versus Castillian. Barcelona 2, Real Madrid 0. All so predictable.

You want a real derby? Something with a little grunt? Try the North London showdown. Wednesday night. But don't get caught in the wrong pub.

Arsenal desperately need a win to close the gap on Chelsea at the top of the Premier League. Spurs can't afford to slip up or they won't make that fabled fourth place and their first ever crack at the Champions League.

It doesn't get any more urgent, any more passionate. All over the world, exiled Londoners and those who have never been anywhere near Big Ben will be watching... and at workplaces from New Zealand to New York the mickey will be mercilessly taken by those who have followed Gunners or Yids all their lives.

And for those who think the Catalan v Castillian problem gives El Classico extra zip... or Celtic's Catholics versus Rangers' Protestants is the be-all-and-end-all, think again. All kinds of things, religion, class, history, divide Spurs fans from Gooners.

But the split also separates brother from sister, father from son, tears best mates apart, if only for an evening. It's only 6.13 kilometres (3.81 miles) from White Hart Lane to the sparkling new Emirates Stadium. But the two are a world apart.

Spurs, who last saw real glory with the double in 1961, nearly 50 years of penalty envy rankle deep in the soul. They change managers constantly...Gerry Francis, caretaker Chris Hughton, Christian Gross, David Pleat, George Graham, Pleat again, Glenn Hoddle, caretaker Pleat yet again, Jacques Santini, Martin Jol, Juande Ramos and HarryRedknapp have all been in charge since Arsene Wenger joined Arsenal in 1996.

But then we must consider Arsenal's trophy cabinet, desolate for the past five seasons. They finish above Spurs every season despite the bigger spending of their neighbours, but the silverware that characterised the early years of Wenger's reign are notably absent.

That could change this season. A win at White Hart Lane on Wednesday night would put them level with Chelsea at the top with four games left to play - but only if the League leading Blues lose to battling Bolton at Stamford Bridge tomorrow. And that's a hugely unlikely if.

Defeat or even a draw against old rivals Spurs would essentially end Arsenal's title hopes, just as Manchester United's draw at Blackburn on Sunday leaves the champions struggling.

And to add extra spark, Arsenal's Dutch striker Robin van Persie could make his long awaited return. He'd scored eight in 11 games before rupturing his ankle ligaments during the Holland's friendly against Italy last November.

Before Van Persie was crocked, Arsenal were threatening to run riot, scoring 3.26 goals per game. Since then, they've averaged 1.77 with lankly Nicklas Bendtner, broken Eduardo Da Silva and inexperienced Carlos Vela attempting to fill the gap.

Van Persie's return would be hugely significant. Arsenal sold Emmanuel Adebayor to Manchester City and turned down the chance to replace him with Bordeaux's MarouaneChamakh in January. They've been relying on Cesc Fabregas and Andrei Arshavin to score goals from deep - but both are out, injured by the Messi end to their Champions League campaign at the hands of Barca.

Three points would keep Arsenal in realistic contention and see them leapfrog Manchester United into second place. Their run in of Wigan, Manchester City, Blackburn and Fulham has sparked real optimism in the Gooner ranks.

That may encourage Wenger to name Van Persie in his injury-ravaged squad, who play their first match since being knocked out of the Champions League by Barcelona last Tuesday.

Also out? William Gallas, Aaron Ramsey, Johan Djourou... and possibly defensivemidfielder Alex Song, perhaps their most improved player of the season.

So will Wenger throw Van Persie in early, when he stands accused of doing just that with Gallas and Fabregas just a fortnight ago against Barcelona?

It looks like it. Rumours emanating from Arsenal's London Colney training ground claim his work with Dutch amateurs AFC Amsterdam has resulted in him "stunning onlookers" with his work-rate.

And we have the canny Wenger, desperate to stay in the title race at the expense of his arch-rivals, insisting: "Robin is in a good shape. Physically and fitness-wise. We have just to get him back to full team fitness."

Whether he has managed that, we will find out on Wednesday. By then they will know if they are three or six points behind Chelsea.

Spurs? They were knocked out of their rhythm by Portsmouth in the FA Cup semi-final on Sunday, beaten 2-0 in extra-time by the poorest side in the world. Striker Peter Crouch has taken a pasting from the fans since - especially as Manchester City, their main rivals for fourth place and Champions League qualification, crushed Birmingham 5-1.

But boss Harry Redknapp insisted today:

We couldn't have a better game now," said Harry. "If I had to choose a game, I'd choose Arsenal at home for the next one.

"Sunday was a bad day, but what can you do? Life is full of highs and lows. That was a big low, but we've had plenty of highs this season. The mark is how you pick yourselves up.

"It wasn't ideal preparation for Wednesday, for sure. The players have to rest now and get ready to go again. It's about how you recover and respond.

"Arsenal is a massive game and we've got to come back and try and win that game - it's all-important for us."