THE BLAME GAME: Tokyo Sexwale's FIFA presidential bid is dead in the water, but WHO is at fault?

Setting a president: Blatter and Sexwale

TRY as I might, I can find no South African pride in the tale of Tokyo Sexwale's failed FIFA presidential bid. What should have been a patriotic cause worth singing about has become an excruciating embarrassment for our nation and our game.

In a world where money talks, the billionaire’s reputation and considerable funds were unable to persuade Issa Hayatou and Confederation of African Football to vote for the only African candidate.

But then, did anyone ever expect CAF to support a South African? They weren't even all that positive about the 2010 World Cup if the voter records are to be believed.

Imprisoned with Nelson Mandela - they played football together on Robben Island - Sexwale rose quickly in post-1994 South Africa. He popped in and out of government a couple of times at cabinet level and was embroiled in a few shenanigans around the time of then-president Thabo Mbeki’s demise.

I won’t go in to that. Nor is it worth debating his rise to billionaire status with profitable business dealings in Guinea, his acrimonious divorce, his trust funds or his connections with Sepp Blatter, the man FIFA are trying so hard to write out of their history.

We’ll let all that slide. Right from the start of Sexwale’s bid, there was a feeling his surname was his strongest point in a field which included an exotic blend of Champagne, Infantino, Salman and Bility.

The problem is simple. Tokyo Sexwale has NEVER been a football man. Sure, there were the island kickabouts, but I can find little trace of his boot-prints in South African football history. A sponsorship here, a statement against racism there.

Blatter, typically clumsy on football racism, used Sexwale shamelessly in an attempt to alter his image as an old, corrupt Swiss conservative.

It worked too. Sexwale’s name and reputation did FIFA no harm on the anti-racism front. They even sent Sexwale to Israel to calm the Palestinian persecution on the football field.

But all this is mere window-dressing. Fiddling around on the edge of the man.

The truth is, Sexwale has proven to be a ruthless businessman and politician. His decision to bid for FIFA leadership was taken in that spirit.

With no understanding of footballing politics in Africa, Tokyo’s spokesman went all xenophobic on the African football fixer Mamadou Gaye and though Namibia and Zimbabwe backed his bid - they were two of the rapidly disappearing five nominees - both neighbouring national Football Associations saw fit to ask why Sexwale was ignoring the locals in his grand parade to footballing omnipotence.

The classic turnabout was seen most clearly in Switzerland three weeks ago, when Sports Minister Fikile Mbalula and the expensive football presenter Robert Marawa accompanied Sexwale to the Ballon D’Or presentation.

Though it was Lucas Radebe (a far better South African FIFA presidential candidate in my view) who did the talking on stage, it was Mbalula who made it clear he was backing Sexwale, just as Dominic Chimhavi and the non-travelling con-conspirator Danny Jordaan had done on SAFA’s behalf a week before.

But behind the scenes, the charade was slowly falling apart. Chimhavi, the SAFA communications director, came out publicly with a Sexwale rebuke along the lines of “he is not taking our advice”  and accusing Tokyo of “a lacklustre campaign”.

I’ve discussed this seminal moment in Sexwale’s campaign with Chimhavi. Why was it not done in private? Why the big disrespect? Why did Dominic himself change his Twitter name from “Sexwale for President” back to his old name?

What is clear is this: somewhere along the line, Sexwale lost sight of his goal. Instead of being the first proud African to take on the giants of football, he was cruising around talking to the elite, ignoring his roots.

But when the German FA, early Sexwale supporters, decided to support Infantino, the writing was on the wall.

Sexwale left for Rwanda on Friday to join the CAF high-ups living it up at CHAN in Kigali. Like Bafana Bafana, he wasn’t qualified for that particular situation.

Hayatou and CAF dismissed Sexwale out of hand. They went for Sheikh Salman. Those 55 priceless African votes would go to an Asian.

On the social networks, South Africans railed against Hayatou and CAF, on the very day one of our four PSL representatives Ajax Cape Town had back out of the Confederations Cup.

I have written about the bias against South Africa by the Francophile northern nations. Have a squint at this http://neal-collins.blogspot.co.za/2013/04/the-shocking-truth-about-caf-danny.html It keys in neatly with the Arabic stronghold, where slavery is permitted but South Africans aren’t.

But on this particular subject, what did we expect? Sexwale hardly left with a glowing endorsement from the ANC or SAFA. Nobody came out with last minute backing, only a few vague whispers about “making deals” to keep him in the race.

We castigate Hayatou for being nearly 70 and in charge of African football since 1988, but Irvin Khoza, the man who REALLY runs South African football, is 68 and has been in charge of our declining PSL since 1992.

These men are set in their ways. Their decisions, often dictated by finance rather than football, cannot be disputed. Ask Musa Bility about his still-born campaign.

Without genuine, whole-hearted backing from South Africa, Sexwale’s millions weren’t going to help. CAF hardly need an excuse to keep those from the tip of Africa out of power.

But rather than blaming Hayatou and CAF for this embarrassment - if Sexwale doesn’t withdraw as CAF said he had, he may end up with no votes at all - we should look long and hard at how this all started.

SAFA and the ANC saw Sexwale as the man who could lift the cloud of suspicion hanging over our nation: The 2010 match-fixing (Ace Kika, banned for 6 years, didn’t act alone) and the $10m Africa Diaspora fund (which goes right to the top of South Africa’s power structure) used to leverage votes for hosting World Cup 2010.

But when the going got tough, we turned our back on our own man. In public and behind the scenes. Sexwale supporters disappeared like rats from a sinking ship.

Before we attack CAF, we should look at our own structures. Our own decisions. If Sexwale’s abortive bid for FIFA president encourages change at SAFA, it will have done some good. Otherwise, considerable time and money have been utterly wasted on a campaign that was NEVER going to succeed.

Mbalula Fikile's astonishing tribute to the Springboks: I'll just leave this here. No editing. You comment.

JACK IN THE BOKS: Sports Minister Fikile Mbalula

Here is Sports Minister Fikile Mbalula's statement on the Springboks finishing third at the Rugby World Cup in England, sent to me by e-mail this morning.

There are some quite incredible comments like "The springboks  are our African African patriots, in their veins flow the blood of our common ancestors" and anybody who disagrees? "Our people must forever be vigilant and not allow our detractors to bastardise Mandela’s legacy".

Remember, this is the man who once described South Africa's national football team Bafana Bafana as a bunch of losers. Who accused this writer of "being on nyaope" for revealing the deceit of the pre-2010 "African Diaspora fund" when he was denying all knowledge of that infamous $10m payment.

The man who singularly fails to deal with the real issues in sport - match-fixing, bribery, development and corruption - appears to have worked really hard on this document. While he prepares to spend R6.5 BILLION on the Commonwealth Games in Durban (a sum which would provide free university education for ALL) with accusations of corruption already coming to the surface, appears obsessed by our elderly, unrepresentative rugby team. The question is: WHY?

Please read it carefully. It's quite staggering. Not quite sure what the ancestors would think.

STATEMENT

TO ALL MEDIA 

31 OCTOBER 2015

MINISTER OF SPORT AND RECREATION SOUTH AFRICA, MR FIKILE MBALULA STATEMENT FOLLOWING THE EXIT OF SOUTH AFRICA FROM THE IRB WORLD CUP

Today we pay homage and tribute to the springbok team that defeated Argentina to claim the third place in the IRB 2015 I World Cup. I take this rare opportunity to salute Victor Matfield, Schalk Burger, Brian Habana,  Fourie du Preez, Jean de Villers for their selfless services and infinite commitment to the man in black green and gold and the people of South Africa. These senior players ,who by right and exhibition, reached their twilight days in international rugby remain loads stars to the current generation and a source of inspiration to posterity. Go well you South African compatriots! Farewell you faithful soldiers. 

As a nation we must remember that the springboks entered this World Cup against the backdrop of four successive loses in international test rugby. A shocking loss to Japan in the opening match  at the IRB 2015 RWC. Our boys in green and gold came to the IRB 2015 RWC representing a divided nation bickering over demographic representation and grappling with the necessary and inevitable perennial transformation debate. 

On the other hand, the All Blacks from New Zealand, our opponents had none of the above and that naturally gives them an edge over us. With all that baggage, the boys advanced to the semi-finals and gave the All Blacks a taste of their own medicine before bowing out in dignity and with their heads standing high on their shoulders. That is the spirit, bravado, passion, pride and brute synonymous with the springbok team. 

For this act and never die spirit of a springbok team, the nation salute and the coach for flying the South African flag high and fearlessly fighting to bring the Webb Ellis cup to the African continent for the third time. We take our hats off to the team for demonstrating once again that victory and glory belong to those who are prepared to make supreme sacrifices. The Springboks are the harbingers of the future and the posterity will benefit immensely by taking a leaf from their trial and tribulations. 

The springboks  are our African African patriots, in their veins flow the blood of our common ancestors. Whatever challenges we face as a nation, whatever contradictions society throws up in the  course of the struggle for transformation, whoever maliciously attempt to derail the path our government, has chosen ; that of peace and development thorough sport, nation building and social cohesion through sport, our people must forever be vigilant and not allow our detractors to bastardise Mandela’s legacy.

We must be vigilant, defend the core-values, consolidate what we have achieved thus far, advance and deepen the struggle for democracy, transformation and development in sport. The springboks and the transformation of any other code must be located in that vortex of a nation constructing it's identity and taking its rightful place in the global community.

I end by invoking the words of a Brazilian Philosopher Roberto Unger when he said “ the internal dynamics of societies, the revelations of inescapable conflicts and missed opportunities, are the proximate cause of their transformation”. Therein lies the strategic debate in framing the discourse and preparing our nation for the 2019 RWC in Japan. In the coming years we will not entertain meaningless debates. We have a Transformation Charter and the Eminent Persons Group on Transformation comprehensive recommendations to implement in order  to achieve transformation goals.

Ends.

A SHOCKING SATURDAY IN STORE FOR BAFANA BAFANA: Welcome to Mauritania, the world leaders on slavery.

GRIM TRUTH: child slavery is common in Mauritania

RIGHT now, South Africa's finest footballers (according to the slightly confused Ephraim Mashaba) are gathering for battle. International conflict is upon us once more. And our beloved Bafana Bafana are scheduled to play Mauritania, the world's leading slave nation.

Today, we could talk about Mpumalanga Black Aces being top of the PSL for three weeks just two months after trying to sell their top flight status to relegated Amazulu.

Or we could recall Steve Komphela’s bizarre post-match interview as he guided Kaizer Chiefs past financially-troubled Bloemfontein Celtic en route to the MTN8 final and what might just be the first trophy of his career as a player or a coach.

Or we could discuss Bafana Bafana’s Tokelo Rantie, who has played just 23 minutes this season for Bournemouth, being South Africa’s major weapon on Saturday after refusing to leave his honeymoon bed last time he was called. 

Instead, I’ve dug this illuminating paragraph out of an article about Mauritania, Bafana Bafana’s next AFCON 2017 qualifying opponents. Feel free to click on the links for confirmation, it's all there on Wikipedia.

Slavery in Mauritania

A system exists now by which Arab Muslims—the bidanes (literal meaning: white skinned people)—own black slaves, the haratines. An estimated 90,000 Mauritanians remain essentially enslaved. According to some estimates, up to 600,000 Mauritanians, or 20% of the population, are still enslaved.

I never thought I’d see ANYTHING like that in the 21st century. I first came across this Mauritanian slavery stuff during the last CHAN tournament here in 2013, but since then I’ve researched a little deeper. It's despicable.

Shakes Mashaba’s South Africa will fly to Nouakchott on Thursday for the Saturday meeting against a nation where abolitionists are actually jailed for speaking out against slavery.

And nobody says a word. We talk about the composition of our Springboks - eight “players of colour” is clearly not enough for a Rugby World Cup after 20 years - and our Proteas - where Kagiso Rabada and Aaron Phangiso appear to share the “African spot” in our cricket team.

But none of this compares to play against a nation which still harbours slavery, surely?

For some weeks on twitter, I’ve been making this point to our Sports Minister Fikile Mbalula, who feels the need to proclaim himself “No 1 Springbok fan” every 5 minutes on SuperSport.

I’ve also tried his deputy, some bloke with an Afrikaans name, not to mention Danny Jordaan, the South African Football Association and other sporting luminaries in our nation, which prides itself on equality and a fairest-of-the-fair constitution.

But nobody is prepared to say a word.

Instead, we will discuss whether Dean Furman, after two games for SuperSport United, is ready to captain South Africa in Nouakchott. Whether Tokelo Rantie will play after 24 minutes for Bournemouth this season.

No, please. This time, the debate over shaky Mashaba’s decision-making can be put to one side. His inconsistent, agent-led selections, his rotation of both goalkeepers and captains, his failure to make adequate substitutions as the game demands.

Let’s ignore, for once, that 2015 AFCON in distinctly undemocratic Equatorial Guinea which left us with one point and the joint-worst record in the tournament. And try to get over the 0-0 home draw against Gambia which opened our AFCON 2017 qualifying effort, perhaps the worst result in the history of our game.

Those COSAFA disasters against Botswana and Malawi, the failure to pick Kamohelo Mokotjo, the appearance of so many of average players even when they aren’t playing for their clubs. Our 72nd place in the world rankings.

Ignore it all.

The point is: We are about to play a nation where people still own slaves. Child labour, sex trafficking, discrimination along tribal and race lines. This is Mauritania.

And we say NOT A WORD. This from a nation which so bravely stood up on the sporting field and declared APARTHEID a four-letter word. We are the nation who MADE sport a political football. And it WORKED.

Please, Mr Mbalula, this is when you stand up for principle, not smug self-promotion. Make a statement, at the very least. Even better, go to Nouakchott and make a speech against this awful practice. The dream: CAF and FIFA will ban this foul nation until they mend their broken nation.

And please, Mr Mashaba, let’s give them a good stuffing on the football field. It's the least we can do.

Restoring the nation's pride: AmaJimbos arrive home to a hero's welcome. The boys have become men.

FLYING HIGH: Vuyo Mantjie about to embark on his first flight

No matter how much televised football you put your family through over the past few days, you won't have seen the great success story of the weekend.

Ahead of Pirate-plundering Chippa United, perfect Kaizer Chiefs and even unbeaten Chelsea, the team of the weekend for me were the "bunch of winners" nobody in South Africa was able to watch on screen (thanks very much SABC and SuperSport): Our Under 17 AmaJimbos.

While Arsenal were concluding their 1-1 draw against Tottenham Hotspur in the North London Derby and Stuart Baxter’s Chiefs were putting together their 11^th win in 11 games to start the season at Soccer City, Molefi Ntseki’s men were at Cairo’s Contractors’ Stadium in front of 3000 passionate Egyptians trying to defend a 2-1 home advantage.

Nobody expected our youngsters, led by SuperSport United’s Nelson Maluleka who scored in the first leg at the Royal Bafokeng Stadium a fortnight ago, to qualify for the African Youth Championship in Niger next year. But then we know so little about these highly motivated lads.

Cairo king: The AmaJimbos celebrate their 2-2 draw on Saturday

I've been fortunate enough to see them in action a couple of times. In goal SuperSport's Mondli Mpoto is another Itumeleng Khune, out wide, Vuyo Mantjie from Harmony in the Free State weaves pure magic. At the back, towering Keanu Cupido holds it all together. And up front, Khayisa Mayo - son of Bafana Bafana's Patrick - will sign professionally with SuperSport United next year.

I couldn’t secure a visa for Cairo, but I've caught up with most of what happened on Saturday. Mayo scored the first goal to make it 3-1 on aggregate to the AmaJimbos. And his second goal, drawing the keeper before scoring with a neat chip, was apparently a thing of real beauty.

The Egyptians, the powerhouse of African football with all the big records at international (seven Afcons) and club level (Al Ahly and Zamalec) fought back from 2-0 down to 2-2 but were ousted 4-3 on aggregate.

Coach Molefi Ntseki and his lads had, remarkably, broken with acceptable practice. They had overcome the Pharoahs.

It has been a long road to Niger 2015 (and if they get to the African semi-finals, the U17 World Cup in Chile): It started with two friendly wins over Lesotho, then two warm-up wins in Botswana. I was there for the 0-0 draw in Tanzania when Mantjie and several of his pals took their first ever trip on a airplane to Dar Es Salaam. Then came the rousing 4-0 win at Dobsonville to open the route to Cairo.

And now, 7000kms and EIGHT unbeaten games later, Ntseki – backed by assistant coach Shawn Bishop and goalkeeping mentor Stavros Tschiclas – our Under 17s have joined the Amajitas and Banyana Banyana in qualifying for their African tournament.

Welcome home: the AmaJimbos this morning

Predictably, Ntseki is cockahoop:  “Yes, this is a good achievement and great for my CV but I am now looking beyond Niger; I want to take these boys to Chile for the World Cup. The reality of qualifying for Niger has now sunk in and I am gunning for more success.”

Ntseki, 45, is an impressive figure. Tall, imposing, not to be taken lightly. Bishop is younger, softer. Together they father these boys, and get the best from them. Ntseki insists: “There is massive talent in South Africa and the boys have shown what we can achieve if we stick together and have a common purpose.

“I would also like to take this opportunity to thank the SAFA President, Dr Danny Jordaan, his executive and the entire administration for their unwavering support for the team. As for the SAFA President (Dr Danny Jordaan); he is one man who has supported this team through and through. The man is a true leader. He was there to see the team off to Egypt and was the first to congratulate the team after the final whistle in Cairo.”

And then the soft, heart-felt conclusion: “I am always on the road and without my wife’s assurance, looking after our three boys, I would not be what I am developing into.”

On Sunday, Ntseki and the squad spent the day touring the great pyramids of Egypt. They arrived home yesterday in Johannesburg. There will be plenty of travelling to come. Niger next year and, God willing, Chile after that.

Today at Oliver Tambo International, Sports Minister Fikile Mbalula joined the admiring throng, promising unspecified "rewards" for the youngsters and adding: "You did the country proud, conquering Egypt is a monumental achievement. You boys have become men.

"We had become a laughing stock on the African continent. You have demystified this myth. Now stay away from drugs and drinking... but you are under 18 and by law that is not allowed!"

SAFA president Danny Jordaan chipped in: "You have the world at your feet. Your achievement is humungous. There are 54 nations in Africa and already you among the top eight. If you do well in Niger next year, you will represent this continent at the World Cup in Chile."

Regular readers of this column will know I've been backing Ntseki's AmaJimbos for months. Can they finish in the top four in Niger next year? NO QUESTION!

WHAT OUR SPORTS MINISTER SHOULD SAY TO SOUTH AFRICA'S CRICKETERS (after all, he said it to our footballers)

It takes three to tango: Mbalula, Smith, Zuma

The right honourable Fikile Mbalula should have issued THIS statement on South Africa’s cricketers on Saturday afternoon.

As our world-beating Proteas slumped to a huge 281-run defeat against the poxy Australian sons-of-convicts, we need the same sort of wake-up call Mbaks offered Bafana Bafana when they crashed out of CHAN last month.

Why does our Sports Minister not feel the need to decry our cricketers and rugby players in the same way as he sticks it to our footballers? This was South Africa’s third heaviest run-margin defeat of all time, and it happened at fortress SuperSportPark with captain Graeme Smith attempting to blame the conditions. I can only imagine it has something to do with the inbuilt fear of white expertise which sadly lingers in our society.

Of course, just as Bafana can redeem themselves with a friendly win over Brazil on March 5, so the Proteas can fight back in this three-match series against the Australians. Hopefully they'll be fired up for the second Test starting at Port Elizabeth on February 20.

So I’ve crafted this for our beloved “bliksem hulle” sporting spokesman, based in all but detail on his annihilation of our beloved Bafana Bafana on January 19, the night after that awful 3-1 defeat against Nigeria’s third team:

“What I saw there was not a problem of coaching, it was a bunch of losers who don’t have any respect for this country, or any respect for anybody. We must never wake up to this again.

“What did we come to see? Just a bunch of unbearable, useless individuals. Let them be told their performance was not even lacklustre, it was useless.

“We indeed have a crisis of monumental proportions and this first Test match at Centurion has proved that. The mediocrity we saw over four days is disgraceful. On Saturday, we saw a bunch of losers who lost by over two hundred runs.

"We must go back to the drawing board. That mediocrity that was displayed… we must never wake up to this situation ever again.

“Let’s not jump at one man. The CSA must look at this thoroughly. Russell Domingo is not the only problem in the team. If we are united, Haroon Lorgat would not have spent sleepless nights negotiating to get the players in to the nets. We should have fielded our best team for this Test, not a mediocre team.

“Some of the players think it is their right to be in the Protea team, some have been there but never won anything. We must forget this generation of players.

“They don’t respect their parents, their girlfriends and the nation. There is a need for a new generation of players as the current crop doesn’t respect the country. England did it when they got rid of players like Kevin Pietersen, so why can’t we? They must make way.

“I love Graeme Smith but I don’t know what was going on in his head. He was playing in front of his home supporters and I’m sure even his family was there, but what he did was unthinkable.

“I could have scored more runs than him. He reminded me of that spinner we got from Pakistan, who doesn’t take any wickets.

"I felt like just standing up and walking out.

"I saw people lining up after the game to greet them ... I won't greet them, I didn't even call them."

The original video of Fikile Mbalula’s lambasting of Bafana is here:

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WE MUST NEVER WAKE UP TO THIS: While the Sports Minister rages, Bafana boss Gordon Igesund is "at peace"

Baffling: raging Mbalula and peaceful Igesund

South Africa’s Sports Minister Fikile Mbalula summed up the mood of the nation yesterday, describing Bafana Bafana as “a generation of players we must forget” after the humiliating 3-1 defeat against Nigeria in Cape Town.

Last night’s abysmal 3-1 defeat against an under-strength Nigeria sees the hosts crash out of the CHAN tournament at the first hurdle with the passionate Mbalula also offering this: “Last night we saw a bunch of losers – unbearable useless individuals. We must never wake up to this."

South Africans are accustomed to failure on home soil after going out of the 2010 World Cup in the group stages and missing out on the AFCON semi-finals in a penalty shoot-out. But the CHAN failure – coming despite a series of bizarre penalty decisions in their favour during their opening two matches – takes failure to a whole new level in a tournament open only to home-based players.

Mbalula raged: “The mediocrity we saw yesterday was disgraceful. This tournament has proved we have a crisis of monumental proportions in our national sport.”

Head coach Gordon Igesund is under increasing pressure despite his recent 1-0 friendly win over world champions Spain.

Starting with just one player up front after promising to “go for a win” Igesund made a series of bizarre selections throughout CHAN and appears incapable of raising South Africa’s stock despite protracted negotiations over availability before the tournament.

Mbalula raged: “In Africa we have won nothing – we are the laughing stock. Even Madiba Magic would not have worked. This generation of players we must forget.

“It is back to the drawing board. SAFA must draw up a detailed plan. They must wake up and smell the coffee.”

Igesund, famous for “having a cup of coffee” with (among others) Everton’s Steven Pienaar when he quit international football, insists: "What went wrong? Nigeria are a better side than us. We've got no excuses. We've got to look at ourselves and say that we weren't good enough."

Highlighting his record of 28 games, 14 wins, 7 draws and 7 losses, Igesund said:  “I just have to continue from where I am. I have a contract until June. I'm at peace with where I am."

But SAFA president Danny Jordaan, hoping to present a winning team to new technical sponsors NIKE next month, admitted: “We are facing three challenges - a new technical sponsor, do we need a new name for the team, and we must review the preparation, philosophy and the technical side of things.”


See also: http://neal-collins.blogspot.com/2014/01/grim-gordon-drinking-at-last-chance.html

BOLLOCKZ! my innovative football show on www.ballz.co.za airs every Thursday from 9am-11am. See Ballz' channel for our growing library of fascinating football interviews with the big names. 

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news… and read my “Neal & Pray” column every Tuesday in www.thenewage.co.za.

BOLLOCKZ! is backed by www.topodds.com - have a look at their site for my latest sports betting advice and charity bets for our Wingzofchange charity!

Two good reasons to celebrate Orlando Pirates unexpected progress to the African Champions League final: two clubs, no lasers

Under the spotlight: Senzo Meyiwa is lit up by laser
beams wielded by unruly Al Ahly fans in Cairo

IT took one interview and a quick phone call to finally bring the footballing authorities to THIS startling revelation: Green laser beams are BAD for the African Champions League.

South African viewers on SABC and SuperSport were infuriated during Orlando Pirates 2-0 defeat against mighty Egyptians Al Ahly on Sunday night in Cairo with their players constantly picked out by the annoying green lights.

Annoying? According to the experts (including the Royal Institute for the Blind), the hand-held lasers – smaller than a torch, about the size of a pen – can DAMAGE the sight of footballers targeted by unruly fans.

I made my debut on South Africa’s 24-hour news channel ANN7 today (see video below) and chatted to Peter van Onselen on his brand new lunch-time news show Express Lunch, making the point that lasers are BANNED in European sports stadiums (and in the US and Australia, though apparently it’s still a problem in Latin America).

Following a spate of idiots shining lasers in the eyes of airline pilots at major airports, injudicious use of the “laser lights” – originally developed to assist army snipers and marketed as a tool for university lecturers to highlight salient points to students – now involves heavy fines and even jail sentences.

But despite the use of lasers in Pirates’ two group games in Egypt and in the semi-final against Esperance in Tunisia, CAF chose to erm… turn a blind eye.

It was only thanks to complaints from sports minister Fikile Mbalula and Buccaneers coach Roger de Sa that I was able to call new SAFA president Danny Jordaan after my ANN7 interview and ask: What will be done?

Danny told me: “Yes, we are aware of the problem and the outcry around the country about the lasers in Cairo. We are writing a letter of complaint to CAF and FIFA about their use.”

Like me, Jordaan is concerned that nobody was searched going in to the ground and the stewards did not act against the fans using the lasers at the jam-packed Arab Contractors Stadium. He said: "This is on the record, I'm happy for you to put this out. We had to act."

With any luck, Jordaan’s complaint – the 2010 World Cup organiser has real influence at CAF and FIFA – will enable Kaizer Chiefs to represent South Africa in the 2014 African Champions League without that particular problem.

But there are other reasons for South Africans to celebrate Orlando Pirates’ epic crusade through the continent over the past six months. Amid the debate between the AmaKhosi and the Ghost over just how much celebrating we should be doing around a final defeat, it’s worth noting that the FOUR points Pirates earned for losing in Cairo will earn an automatic second place in the Champions League in 2015.

And if Kaizer Chiefs (and Platinum Stars in the Confederations Cup) get to the group stages, South Africa are guaranteed a second major rise up the CAF club rankings in 2016 after a decade in the doldrums.

The current top twelve, in order and based on results over the past five years in both CAF competitions, looks like this: Tunisia, Egypt, Nigeria, Sudan, Morocco, DRC, Algeria, Mali, Congo, Angola, Cameroon, Ghana

But Pirates unexpected progress via the Comores, Zambia, DRC (though we never got to see it on the television), Congo, Tunisia and Egypt (thrice) means South Africa should move ahead of both Ghana (11 points) and Cameroon (12 points) next year.

For that reason alone, Roger de Sa and his Pirates deserve credit. But it won’t come easy. Given their current position in the PSL (they’re rock-bottom) and a seven-match streak in the Champions League which ended LLDDDDL, he’s already under pressure as the fireworks cool in Cairo.

But if the Buccaneers WIN all their six or seven games in hand, they can go five points clear of current leaders Mamelodi Sundowns. It's a big IF. But that might quiet the critics. Roger that.

BOLLOCKZ! my show on www.ballz.co.za, airs every Thursday from 9am. See the Ballz channel on www.YouTube.com for our growing collection of interviews with the big names in South African football.

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news… and read my “Neal and Pray” column every Tuesday in www.thenewage.co.za.

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South Africa v FIFA: Fikile Mbalula, SAFA, SASCOC and match-fixing: what's at stake (plus eNCAnews footage)

WITH South Africa facing serious allegations of match-fixing, FIFA and SAFA are at logger-heads over the way ahead - and Bafana Bafana could pay the price.

Ultimately (see video above, from today's eNCAnews) it comes down to this: South Africa must obey FIFA, deal with the match-fixing report and suspend the relevant SAFA members OR they must defy FIFA, hold a more general government inquiry in to SAFA's affairs and present their conclusions.

Tonight Kirsten Nemetandani, the SAFA President, insists there is no threat of a FIFA suspension but the world football body is KNOWN for taking sweeping action if they do not get their way. South Africa's increasingly promising crusade to reach the World Cup in Brazil next year could be in jeopardy.

It's Bafana Bafana the people care about, not SAFA's suits. And though I generally agree with Sports Minister Fikile Mbalula, I suspect FIFA's Jerome Valcke - now a South African citizen through marriage - knows certain members of SAFA will get off lightly if the government are involved.

Irvin Khosa, the Orlando Pirates owner who also runs the NSL, PSL and is a vice-president of FIFA, is effectively President Jacob Zuma's father-in-law after the Iron Duke's daughter Sonono gave birth to the polygamous leader's 20th child in 2011. There are reports of a second child since.

Khoza is the major power-player in South Africa sport. He even announced he would stand for the presidency of the South African Olympic organisation SASCOC last year but later withdrew. Though he was not one of five SAFA executives suspended - and subsequently reinstated - after the match-fixing report, his role must come under scrutiny.

Perhaps this is why FIFA don't want the government involved in the SAFA investigation. Or perhaps FIFA simply don't want further dodgy dealings exposed - particularly before, during and after the World Cup. Or maybe they are simply sticking to the old "no government involvement" line.

I have never liked the way FIFA run things. I'd back Fikile over the dictatorial "lifelong" FIFA president Sepp Blatter any day... but there are huge issues at stake. Here's why.

After a letter from FIFA warning Sports Minister Mbalula NOT to get involved in a judicial hearing over their report on the four pre-World Cup friendlies in 2010, a war of words broke out today less than 24 hour after the release of the World Cup 2010 report highlighting the success of South African football.

In line with their general policy, FIFA secretary-general Valcke co-signed the letter warning Mbalula: “Herewith we would like to emphasise that any other issues not related to the above should be handled entirely by Safa, as otherwise this would constitute interference in the internal affairs of Safa affairs by a third party and would clearly violate the principles contained in articles 13 and 17 of the Fifa statutes.”

Today, a "visibly upset" Mbalula fumed: "You do not write such a letter without speaking to a respected government. You speak to people in government and you speak to the minister.

"I will never accept that on behalf of this government. That is denigrating, undermining and they have got no regard for us."

Mbalula said he was "shocked and upset" by what he called "wild assumptions" but the truth is, his reaction will simply push Bafana Bafana - who heard today they will play their crucial away qualifier against the Central African Republic on a neutral ground - towards FIFA suspension and possible World Cup disqualification.

From FIFA's point of view, SAFA simply MUST deal with the match-fixing allegations. But with SASCOC getting involved this week, Mbalula clearly envisages a wider judicial inquiry than that agreed with FIFA 10 days ago. Both he and the Olympian meddler Tubby Reddy want to know why SAFA are currently in R92m debt after hosting both the 2010 World Cup and this year's African Cup of Nations.

They want to know if the R100m FIFA Legacy Fund is safe from pillaging - and what has happened to sponsorship cash.

Generally, I side with Mbalula here. But I doubt if a government-led inquiry will be effective. If FIFA can find a judge prepared to limit his inquiry in to the match-fixing issue alone, I can see REAL action being taken.

That would see many of the current SAFA executives thrown out - leaving the way open for Danny Jordaan, the man behind a hugely successful World Cup, to take over as president in September, when elections are due.

That might just be the best solution - Jordaan would then be able to clean-up SAFA leaving Gordon Igesund to continue the push for World Cup qualification unhindered by suspension and intrigue.

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Here's my original response to FIFA's match fixing report: