Showing posts with label graeme smith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label graeme smith. Show all posts

Monday, 17 February 2014

WHAT OUR SPORTS MINISTER SHOULD SAY TO SOUTH AFRICA'S CRICKETERS (after all, he said it to our footballers)

It takes three to tango: Mbalula, Smith, Zuma

The right honourable Fikile Mbalula should have issued THIS statement on South Africa’s cricketers on Saturday afternoon.

As our world-beating Proteas slumped to a huge 281-run defeat against the poxy Australian sons-of-convicts, we need the same sort of wake-up call Mbaks offered Bafana Bafana when they crashed out of CHAN last month.

Why does our Sports Minister not feel the need to decry our cricketers and rugby players in the same way as he sticks it to our footballers? This was South Africa’s third heaviest run-margin defeat of all time, and it happened at fortress SuperSportPark with captain Graeme Smith attempting to blame the conditions. I can only imagine it has something to do with the inbuilt fear of white expertise which sadly lingers in our society.

Of course, just as Bafana can redeem themselves with a friendly win over Brazil on March 5, so the Proteas can fight back in this three-match series against the Australians. Hopefully they'll be fired up for the second Test starting at Port Elizabeth on February 20.

So I’ve crafted this for our beloved “bliksem hulle” sporting spokesman, based in all but detail on his annihilation of our beloved Bafana Bafana on January 19, the night after that awful 3-1 defeat against Nigeria’s third team:

“What I saw there was not a problem of coaching, it was a bunch of losers who don’t have any respect for this country, or any respect for anybody. We must never wake up to this again.

“What did we come to see? Just a bunch of unbearable, useless individuals. Let them be told their performance was not even lacklustre, it was useless.

“We indeed have a crisis of monumental proportions and this first Test match at Centurion has proved that. The mediocrity we saw over four days is disgraceful. On Saturday, we saw a bunch of losers who lost by over two hundred runs.

"We must go back to the drawing board. That mediocrity that was displayed… we must never wake up to this situation ever again.

“Let’s not jump at one man. The CSA must look at this thoroughly. Russell Domingo is not the only problem in the team. If we are united, Haroon Lorgat would not have spent sleepless nights negotiating to get the players in to the nets. We should have fielded our best team for this Test, not a mediocre team.

“Some of the players think it is their right to be in the Protea team, some have been there but never won anything. We must forget this generation of players.

“They don’t respect their parents, their girlfriends and the nation. There is a need for a new generation of players as the current crop doesn’t respect the country. England did it when they got rid of players like Kevin Pietersen, so why can’t we? They must make way.

“I love Graeme Smith but I don’t know what was going on in his head. He was playing in front of his home supporters and I’m sure even his family was there, but what he did was unthinkable.

“I could have scored more runs than him. He reminded me of that spinner we got from Pakistan, who doesn’t take any wickets.

"I felt like just standing up and walking out.

"I saw people lining up after the game to greet them ... I won't greet them, I didn't even call them."

The original video of Fikile Mbalula’s lambasting of Bafana is here:



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Monday, 23 July 2012

From Hash to Hamburg: the weekend South African sportsmen rocked the world


Bearded wonder: Hashim Amla at The Oval

THERE is simply no better way to warm-up for Friday’s Olympic opening ceremony in London than South Africa’s drama-soaked weekend of global conquest.
At The Oval, Durban’s Hashim Amla became the first ever South African to score a triple century as the Proteas crushed England by an innings at The Oval.
At Royal Lytham at St Anne’s, Kempton Park’s Ernie Els produced the most dramatic of finishes to win his second Open Championship ten years after his first.
In Cape Town, our local club Ajax came within seconds of beating mighty Manchester United in front of a full-house, denied only by a last-gasp Bebe equaliser.
In Paris, as the Tour de France saga finished along the Champs Elysees, there was South African-raised Chris Froome, the former St John’s schoolboy from Johannesburg, ushering yellow-shirted winner Bradley Wiggins to an historic one-two finish for the British.
In, Hamburg, with no great fuss, Cape Town’s Richard Murray, 23, won his first world series triathlon, out-sprinting double world champion Javier Gomez of Spain to set himself up as a serious medal contender in London.
And Down Under in Brisbane, the Sharks roared in to an all-South African Super15 semi-final against the Stormers at Newlands on Saturday with an emphatic 30-17 win over the reigning Reds.
Amla’s is the greatest of these sporting fairy-tales. His unbeaten 311 came on top of centuries for captain Graeme Smith in his 100th Test and a mighty 182 not out from ageless all-rounder Jacques Kallis.
They eventually declared on 637-2 after two record partnerships and the most comprehensive deconstruction of a home bowling attack in the 145-year history of Test cricket.
On day five, Dale Steyn took five wickets as England succumbed to an innings defeat on a ground where they had never previously lost to South Africa.
In his typically modest, bearded way, Amla, 29, said: “The runs are not as important as the team position. We are in a good place. With my scoring rate, 300 is usually a very long journey.
"I have a firm belief that everyone who has played a part in my career should have a share in whatever success I had. If we could divide the 300 runs up, they would all get a piece.
“I don’t deserve to be compared to Brian Lara. Whatever runs you get, I’m just grateful for it.”
Fikile Mbulula, in London for Friday’s torch-lighting after giving Biff a South Africa flag before his landmark 100th Test at the ground renamed The Ou Wil in honour of the Proteas, was all smiles.
The Minister of Sport said: "This is a sign of good things to happen on the British soil. This can only symbolize more glory for us as a country in July and August.
"The standing ovation the Big Easy received comes at the time when we prepare to compete with nations of the world during the 2012 London Olympic and Paralympic games.
“But words can't express how I feel about Hashim Amla. He just keeps creating waves and moving mountains."
A decade after his historic win at Muirfield, Ernie said: “I’ve got to thank President Nelson Mandela, who’s been such an influence in our country, we are truly blessed to have a man like that to take us through a very difficult time. We can see the success of our country now thanks to Madiba.
“The President has been very much in my thoughts. I was lying this morning watching the cricket. And the thought came to me. If I win, I have to thank President Mandela. I grew up in the Apartheid era. Right after the change, I was the first one to win a major. There’s a lot of significance there… he got on a telephone to me in Pittsburgh. We intertwine together in a crazy way.
“I haven’t been in this position for ten years. Crazy, crazy, crazy. To make up all those shots, I just felt good. I don’t know. It’s hard to explain. I just knew I was going to feel good about this. I’ve been in such a negative mode for such a long time.
“I don’t think I missed a shot on the back nine. I feel comfortable here – and had a lot of help from the crowd.
“But I really feel for my buddy Adam Scott, I’ve been there before, blown majors before. I hope Scotty doesn’t take it as hard as I did.”
Now thoughts turn to the Olympics. To our women footballers, Banyana Banyana, who begin their campaign tomorrow, and the athletes – particularly Sunette Viljoen and Caster Semenya – and the swimmers, Cameron van den Burgh and Chad Le Clos, not forgetting the two hockey teams.
The target is 12 medals. Many doubt Team South Africa can reach that mark after the single medal disappointment of Beijing four years ago. But given the events of the weekend, perhaps we can expect a few outstanding surprises…

Wednesday, 18 July 2012

Pietersen's snub and Smith's pregnancy: the two big issues before cricket's super series starts today


Suffering Saffas: Graeme Smith and Kevin Pietersen
TWO huge issues loom over cricket’s series of the season when England take on South Africa in the three-match, 15-day battle for global domination at The Oval today.
I’m not talking about the bail-inflicted eye injury in Somerset which sent the veteran Proteas wicketkeeper Mark Boucher in to premature retirement a fortnight ago. Nor the back injury which has seen young Titans paceman Marchant de Lange return home.
We could discuss stand-in wicketkeeper AB de Villiers’ secret back spasms too, or the battle for a Test starting spot among England’s pace battery. Or even the possibility of a great series between the world’s No1 and No3 ranked nations being ruined by the wettest British summer on record.
No, the two key issues lie away from today’s first Test.
Kevin Pietersen’s snub
The first problem is well-known and typically topical. England’s master batsman Kevin Pietersen was yesterday left out of the 30-man provisional squad to defend the World T20 in Sri Lanka this September amid much wrangling.
Pietersen, born and raised in Pietermaritzburg, South Africa, had offered to resume his limited-over duties after “retiring” in May – on condition he was allowed to play a full (highly lucrative) IPL tournament and miss the two (less lucrative) Tests against New Zealand May next year.
Unsurprisingly, with coach Andy Flower pulling the strings, Pietersen’s offer of compromise was summarily rejected. Cape Town-born Flower played for Zimbabwe during his playing days and perhaps harbours resentment towards KP for the path his career took after he turned his back on the nation of his birth (he made his England debut against Zimbabwe in 2004).
Flower told the Mail on Sunday: "I think it's sad for a player in his batting prime not to be playing all forms of international cricket, something that a lot of the guys work very hard for but are also very lucky to have the opportunity to do.
"I would hate for him to get to the end of his career and look back and think, 'Oh damn, I wish I hadn't missed the World T20 or the 2015 World Cup'.
"Maybe he won't. Maybe he's a very... well he is a very different person to me, so he might not think that way at all."
That’s no way for a coach to speak about his most valuable player. Some think Pietersen will be inspired by his T20 snub, others suggest he will spend the next five days sulking as he will now be offered reduced “Test only” terms by the ECB when his central contract is up for review in August.
The one good thing about the Pietersen debacle? It will leave Nottinghamshire’s Alex Hales (my 23-year-old Godson, but that’s not relevant here) to open for England in T20 after his swashbuckling 99 against the West Indies last month.
Graeme Smith’s pregnancy
The second key issue is less publicised. Graeme Smith, not Pietersen’s greatest fan, will start his 100th Test today with his Irish wife Morgan Deane about to give birth to their first child.
On twitter this week, Morgan – described as a singer, song-writer and fashion guru in her profile – explained the pain of being separated from her husband as she builds up to the big day.
She said: “Being without my husband the last two weeks of my first pregnancy is not the easiest thing I’ve done… I’ll take that medal now please. Cheers.”
Morgan, who started the “Penisgate” storm last month when she tweeted about buying a book called “Living With A Big Penis”, added: “Let’s hope baby stays comfy and ain’t in a hurry. Early labour is NOT an option! Fingers crossed baba waits for dada!”
Smith will be hoping to be there for the birth in Cape Town in the gap between the first and second Tests, when the tourists are scheduled to play Worcestershire in a tour match. That leaves “Biff” a gap from the end of The Oval on Monday until Headingley, which starts on August 2.
For the two biggest names in this series, Pietersen and Smith will be battling to keep their off-field concerns out of the game.
For all his legendary focus, Smith may find that difficult. Though they have been married less than a year, Morgan has already suffered a miscarriage and told IOL’s Laura Butler in April: “I haven’t spoken about the miscarriage until now as mentally I wasn’t ready to, but since it happened to me and I’ve spoken to people about it, I realise how common it actually is.
“Whether you miscarry at three weeks or three months, it’s one of the most emotionally painful things to go through. It almost feels like Mother Nature is playing a horrific joke on you.
“I had a “missed miscarriage” which means I didn’t miscarry the regular way. So at the time it was very bizarre to get my head around the fact that there was no blood, but still they had to go in and remove the pregnancy.
“But it brought me extremely close to my husband and we only began the healing process really once I fell pregnant again two months later.
“The one thing about miscarrying on the first pregnancy was bringing about the realisation that we wanted this baby more than anything.
“I’ve put on the extra pounds because I’d been instructed not to exercise throughout this pregnancy and we didn’t want to take any risks. We are not taking one day of this for granted.
 “We can’t wait to meet our baby and become parents.”
So if Morgan calls Graeme on the mobile and says she’s gone in to labour over the next five days, what will happen? Can Biff put it all to one side? Time will tell.

Tuesday, 7 February 2012

New Zealand on Friday: What AB sees ahead for South Africa's Proteas


AVERAGING A TON: Protea's ODI captain AB de Villiers
AB de Villiers admits to making a few interesting discoveries as South Africa’s new limited overs captain heads to New Zealand on Friday for his second series in charge.
The man known as “Abbas” in the dressing room generally impressed as a rookie skipper during a 3-2 win over Sri Lanka on home soil last month.
And the 27-year-old Titans star flies out for his first away series in charge of the Proteas insisting: “Our dream is to be ranked the best side in the world. To win a World Cup.”
AB was Man of the Series against Sri Lanka, scoring 329 runs in five knocks at an average of 109.66. Clearly captaincy agrees with him. With Australian legend Steve Waugh recommending current South African Test captain Graeme Smith should stand down - like Ricky Ponting, six years his senior - to work on his batting, AB could be in for major upheavals in future months.
As he packed his bags for the long flight to the Land of the Long White Cloud, he said: “Captaincy is hard work but I’m enjoying it and it’s great that I’m leading by example at the moment.
“I know I will get my tough patches in the future and I’ll have to work through that, but I’m playing well at the moment and using that to my advantage.
“I’m still following the same game plans but ­timing it a bit sweeter than normal.”
De Villiers has come to one major realisation:
“I discovered that the guys feed off my energy and it’s very important for me to be calm and in control the whole ­time.
“Leading from the front, not only with bat in hand, and with catch­ing and so on, but the way I present myself out there, has a big influence.
NZ SCHEDULE
10/02: Depart
15/02: WU Canterbury
17/02: T20 Wellington
19/02: T20 Hamilton
22/02: T20 Auckland
25/02: ODI Wellington
29/02: ODI Napier
03/03: ODI Auckland
07/03: Test Dunedin
15/03: Test Hamilton
23/03: Test Wellington
“It was really tough at times but I think it’s one of the most important things that I learned.”
And as for tactics: “There is no set plan, we will play it by ear on the day.
“Coach Gary Kirsten and I decide which individual is best suited to the situation and he will go out and bat.
“We’ll just mix it up as right- and lefthand combinations are also important when a spinner is bowling well, and it makes it a bit tougher for the spinner to settle.”
Pretoria-born Abraham Benjamin de Villiers is aware that some of the players still call Graeme Smith skipper on the field, but AB recognises that as habit rather than harking  back to the past.
His penchant for fooling the Sri Lankans with the use of Afrikaans (he issues a constant stream of information in the near-Dutch language of his schooldays) may fail against the Kiwis, who have two South Africans in their squad, long-term emigrant BJ Watling and Kruger van Wyk, a former Seuns Hoer wicketkeeper who has spent the last four years in New Zealand.
AB admits: “New Zealand is a new challenge and our next goal.
“Obviously our long term goals are being No 1 in the world and winning a world cup.
“That’s a huge dream for all of us and hopefully we’ll get there, but for now, we’ll just focus on getting ready for the New Zealand tour and performing well there.
“Our goal against Sri Lanka was to win both the tests and the ODIs and we did that.”
But it's the Test matches which will grab the cricket-speaking world's attention. With England crushed 3-0 by Pakistan in the United Arab Emirates - perhaps the most inept performance by a side ranked No1 ever recorded - South African need a whitewash in New Zealand to go top of the rankings.
And that would set up a winter tour to England between the world's top two. And conceivably, AB could be in charge of all three formats by then.

CURRENT TEST RANKINGS
1 England 118
2 South Africa 117
3. India 111
4 Australia 111
5 Pakistan 108
6 Sri Lanka 98
7 West Indies 88
8 New Zealand 83
9 Bangladesh 8
A SHORTER version of this story appeared in Scoop! South Africa's new tabloid Sunday newspaper last weekend. Available at all good street corners and supermarkets etc in Gauteng and KZN every Sunday until Wednesday. You might still get one. It's only R6.95. See www.scoopnews.co.za or follow us on twitter at www.twitter.com/scoopza.

Sunday, 17 January 2010

Pietersen faces an uphill struggle says Smith, gloating after his series-saving triumph at The Wanderers


SOUTH AFRICA captain Graeme Smith believes Kevin Pietersen is facing the biggest challenge of his career after a bitterly disappointing safari in the lad of his birth.

Pietersen, who started the series off with a bang in Centurion, could only contribute 12 runs off 42 unconvincing balls as England subsided dismally in front of a packed Wanderers “Bull Ring” on day four of the final Test in Johannesburg.

Needing 243 to make the hosts bat again, England were all out for 169 with the ever-reliable Paul Collingwood (71) providing England’s only real resistance as they handed the Basil D’Oliviera trophy meekly back to the South Africans by an innings and 74 runs.

Gloating over the emphatic way his side snatched a 1-1 draw from a series which looked to have slipped away from them, Smith said: “We had a good game plan for Kevin and it worked for us. He’s one of those guys who has great expectations on his shoulders every time he comes to the crease. The pressure just builds on him, especially after he’s failed a couple of times.

“We just had to keep asking the questions. After the impact he’s had on international cricket over the last couple of years it’s going to be a real challenge for him now. But we’ll keep asking those questions. It’s up to him to find a response.”

Pietersen, out since the second Ashes Test last summer after surgery – and post-operative complications – on his Achilles, appeared in fine form in the opening Test at Centurion when he hit 40 and a top score of 81. But his suicidal run-out there put the Pietermaritzburg-born batsman in the spotlight and nearly led to England’s defeat.

In Durban, at his old home ground of Kingsmead, Pietersen failed to join the run-fest. He was out for 31 when the rest of the upper order were enjoying half-centuries on the way to an innings and 98-run victory.

At Cape Town, England held out for another final-wicket draw despite KP’s worst efforts of 0 and 6 which left captain Andrew Strauss lamenting: “That has to be the most disappointing Test performance of his career.”

Former England captain and SABC commentator Geoffrey Boycott offered to help Piegtersen correct the flaws in his defence but complained “he doesn’t listen to anybody” while there were reports of a bust-up with fans, which were fimly denied.

New Year at Newlands was nasty for Pietersen but in many ways, Johannesburg over the last five days has been even worse. Booed loudly by huge crowds at “The Bull Ring”, he was out for just seven in the first innings and despite a desperate attempt to change his approach, he was hustled off for 12 after batting for an hour and a half, when England needed him most yesterday.

Strauss continues to live in hope. He said: “There are always high expectations surrounding Kevin Pietersen but it must have been hard for him here after a long lay-off. It’s not the easiest thing to come back into the side like that.

“I’m sure he’ll be desperate to prove his class once again. It’s definitely been a frustrating tour for him, but I have no doubt he’ll come back from this.”

Pietersen is not England’s only concern. Stuart Broad came here as an all-rounder but returns home with a bowling average of 33.46 and a batting average of 10.85. Garfield Sobers and Andrew Flintoff sneer in the face of such figures. His constant whining when dismissed did little to endear him to the fans here either.

Highly-rated seamers Jimmy Anderson and Graham Onions enhanced their reputations slightly – though dropping Onions for the final Test in favour of Ryan Sidebottom was a move which will never be fully explained, especially after Onions had twice defied South Africa as a No11 batsman to grab a pair of delightful draws.

Wicketkeeper Matt Prior batted like a buffoon yesterday – he was dropped off his first ball and caught off his second for a duck – and admitted he wasn’t happy with his form going into the Wanderers, where he watched his first big game of cricket.

Jonathan Trott, promising at times but desperately frustrating to watch with all his fiddling at the crease, cannot claim to have set the world alight anymore than Pietersen while Strauss himself has hardly blossomed as he did last time he was out in the land of his birth.

The successes? Alastair Cook has batted his way out of trouble as an opener with a fine century in Durban and further success in Cape Town and Ian Bell has come back with a vengeance. Strauss said yesterday: “Ian’s comeback is exciting for us, but only three batsmen had a decent series. The rest of us, and that includes me, missed out.

“We’ve shown we’re resilient and that we’re hard to beat. But that’s not enough. We’re not good enough at the moment. We have to be more clinical. We all know there is plenty of room for improvement.”

Fair enough. South Africa captain Graeme Smith agrees: “I’m happy with a draw but we could easily have been sitting here 3-1 up.”

There are two reasons England drew this series. Paul Collingwood, England’s “Typical British Bulldog” according to coach Andy Flower, and Graeme Swann, who took a series high 21 wickets and scored one more run than his skipper, including a Test-best 85 in Centurion.

If you’re looking for heroes of this epic safari, look no further than those two. Smith’s verdict: “Swann did well on our pitches but Collingwood is the glue that holds England together.”

Saturday, 16 January 2010

Mother Nature helps out, but England's reign is nearly at an end in this series


AND so Mother Nature steps in where umpire Daryl Harper won't, with another merciful downpour for England, halting South Africa's rush to victory in the final Test at the Wanderers.
Twelve minutes earlier than yesterday, at 2.01pm local time, noon in England, the rain came down, the lightning flashed (right), this huge 30,000 crowd scurried for cover.
But unlike yesterday, the worst of it moved slowly around the ground. Instead of a flooded outfield and desperate workers with squeegees, we have a far less dramatic show of drying going on in front of us.
The covers are off and soon they will be back, these South Africans, eager to push on and get England back at the crease.
At the moment, South Africa are 382-6, 202 ahead of England's modest first innings total of 180.
Just when South African captain Graeme Smith will declare, we aren't sure. But he did say to us last night: "We'll be looking to push the lead to around 200. That's a good score if the pitch is doing things and the weather continues."
He's right. This game is over if the rain stays away. England have been easily cowed in this final showdown. Earlier in this absorbing series, they showed that iron resistance, the stiff-upper-lip we Brits love to see.
But Johannesburg has been different. England went into this Test 1-0 up in the series, but only after hanging on by a wicket to draw in Centurion and Cape Town. In between, we had the best of the conditions in Durban and won by an innings and 98 runs.
But in truth, as Smith and his men have pointed out so many times, most of the sessions have been won by South Africa in this series. They deserve to draw 1-1 and retain the Basil D'Oliviera trophy they won in England last time they visited our shores.
And they will. England made a couple of early breakthroughs this morning but they failed to capitalise, allowing Mark Boucher and AB De Villiers to shove England off the rails again.
But they needed a fair bit of luck to put on 120 in 30 overs for the sixth wicket at a rate of just over four an over.
Twice Harper, the television umpire who failed to hear Graeme Smith's snick yesterday (he was on 15 at the time, he went on to get 105, have a look at earlier posts), allowed De Villiers to bat on after being given out by New Zealander Tony Smith.
Harper also turned down Graeme Swann's plea for the wicket of Mark Boucher, LBW. Harper was right each time. But he seems to be England's bogeyman right now, with every decision going South Africa's way.
England made a good start this morning. First Hashim Amla, looking set for his second century of the series on 75, was out on the tenth ball of the day, caught behind by Matt Prior off a superb ball from Stuart Broad.
Six balls later, Jacques Kallis was gone, brilliantly taken by Jimmy Anderson on the dive off Ryan Sidebottom. Getting Kallis for 7 was a big bonus for England and at 217-4 the tails were up.
After a brief lull, Andrew Strauss turned to Swann, as he has all series, for the breakthrough. And with his first ball - it's becoming a habit - he had JP "Crash Test" Duminy caught by Collingwood and it was 235-5.
Swann then had De Villiers given out twice - on 11 and 24 - by umpire Hill. But De Villiers called for a review both times. The close catch on 11 may or may not have brushed the bat, the lbw on 24 was not out.
But given that shocker yesterday - Harper failed to hear the Smith snick which echoed around the cricket-speaking world - you might expect a bit of help from the man!
De Villiers also survived having the ball come to rest against his stumps without removing a bail (much to Paul Collingwood's chagrin) and a further clear glove behind, made it through to lunch with 43 off 99 balls, the always-dangerous Mark Boucher went to his fifty just before lunch after surviving Swann's LBW review.
At 324-5 at the break, South Africa were 144 ahead. De Villiers' luck finally ran out on 58, caught by Collingwood, and Broad had his third wicket of the innings. But Boucher carried on and passed his best-ever Test score at the "Bull Ring" - 78 - with debutant Ryan McLaren in support.
But just as the huge gathering here were really getting going, the rain came down. But now the covers are off and the final session can begin. It won't be long, I suspect, before Graeme Smith gets England out there to face their fury under heavy skies.
Meanwhile Harper - backed by the ICC this morning - has turned to Facebook to justify his position.
After yesterday's knob-twiddling sensation he posted these quotes on his site: "The truth about Smith's decision may come out eventually. The host broadcaster didn't provide the appropriate sound to match the picture. The commentator, Matthew Hoggard, told the viewers that there was no sound - so Smith would be given not out.
"Sadly when the technology fails... and that means that some engineer has failed to do his job... they must find a scapegoat, and the umpire is an easy target because we can't fight back... usually.
"Five minutes later, they found a sound and blamed me! Other networks found the sound immediately, but we didn't get their sound feed."
Good defence Daryl, but how about coming to speak to us in the press box. Just a gentle chat. If you can comment on Facebook, surely you can talk to the journalists?
England, without any reviews left, have asked the ICC to reinstate the one wasted during the Smith controversy yesterday.

Friday, 15 January 2010

Do you blame the knob in the umpire's room... or Daryl Harper? Furious England head off to do the rain dance


DARYL HARPER, the controversial Australian umpire, could be in hot water with the ICC after he failed to hear an edge from South Africa captain Graeme Smith which echoed around the world on the second day of the final Test at the Wanderers today.

Afterwards Smith himself admitted: “There was a noise. Definitely. But it could have been my thumb against the bat. It doesn’t take the gloss off my century.”

Harper, no stranger to technological blunders – he once claimed he couldn’t see the ball on a replay screen in the West Indies and just yesterday failed to spot a potential no-ball when Alastair Cook was given out LBW – apparently failed to turn his audio feed up and couldn’t hear the obvious snick which saw Smith let off on 15.

Smith went on to score a superb 105 and was out shortly after lunch before a huge storm stopped play with South Africa 208-2, 28 ahead of England’s 108 with eight wickets in hand. Smith finally fellow to birthday boy Sidebottom, 32 today, and Prior but by then the damage had been done.

SABC spokesman Neil Manthorpe, a British-born commentator, said: “Unfortunately Daryl had his feed volume turned down to four out of ten.

“We all get the same feed, ESPN, SABC and Sky. We all heard it. He just didn’t realise. And it’s been like that for the whole Test match. It was all about twiddling a knob in the umpire’s room.”

The question nobody dared asked England boss Andy Flower afterwards was: Do England blame the knob in the umpire’s room or Daryl Harper? Flower said: “It’s disappointing. If this wasn’t such an important Test match it would have been amusing.

“We spoke to the match referee several times today. The first time he said Harper had a separate audio feed to Sky and SABC. We then established they all share the same feed. And when we went back, they told us about the volume level.

“Apparently they thought four out of 10 was sufficient. It’s obviously a problem”

With the ICC set to release a statement and the SABC taking two hours over their press release, an employee from Octagon, who provide the technical expertise for coverage the Wanderers, said: “Harper should have realised. They say he couldn’t hear the thunder when the storm broke over the ground later in the day.”

Ryan Sidebottom, who bowled the fourth over of the day, had no doubts. Nor did England wicketkeeper Matt Prior, who took the catch. But after New Zealand umpire Tony Hill failed to react to a universal appeal, England skipper Andrew Strauss called for an immediate review.

England’s players were clearly shocked when Harper, high in the stands in the umpire’s room, said he had heard nothing. The 58-year-old has to rely on the audio feed from the wicket microphone as South Africa does not have hot-spot technology in place for a suspected edge.

But former England seamer Matthew Hoggard said: “We all heard it You just had to twiddle with the volume control. Nobody can understand what happened, but it is difficult without hotspot technology.”

And Pommie Mbangwa, the former South African player in the commentary box said: “It was out, everybody knew it was out. We all heard the noise. Except Harper.”

While text messages flooded in from around the world claiming they had heard the snick, Harper chose not to make an appearance, preferring to wait for the ICC statement.

Meanwhile out on the flooded pitch, miracles were being worked by men with brooms (above) and two mechanised Super Squeegies. The flooded ground was miraculously dried and three hours and 18 minutes after that huge cloudburst drove us into the back of the stands seeking cover from the deluge and crashing thunder. If only Harper's mike was as efficient.

Resuming on 208-2 at 5.30 local time (which is when play is scheduled to close on an ordinary day here), Hashim Amla and Jacques Kallis were put under pressure by Ryan Sidebottom and Stuart Broad. But the rain soon returned and South Africa went off at 215-2.

Afterwards Flower, amid the accusations and counter-accusations over Harper’s knob, said: “The key to getting back in this match is to take early wickets tomorrow.”

In reality of course, the rain dance will take place in the Sandton Sun tonight. Attendance compulsory. It’s England’s only hope.

Smith's incredible let-off all down to a knob in the umpire's review room!


SOUTH AFRICAN captain Graeme Smith enjoyed an incredible let off as the second day of the final Test at the Wanderers got underway amid controversy this morning- and ended with a flooded pitch.

Smith clearly edged Ryan Sidebottom to Matt Prior when he was on 15 just four overs into the day – but television umpire Daryl Harper was unable to hear the noise on his audio fee.

The Australian apparently hadn’t turned it up to the full volume - and refused to give the decision. Smith went on to score 105 and put South Africa into a virtually unbeatable position.

SABC frontman Neil Manthorpe told the Evening Standard exclusively: “Harper’s volume control ws only on four out of ten. That’s why he didn’t hear the edge.”

Luckless England were all out for a paltry 180 yesterday as their attempt to engineer the draw that would clinch this absorbing series fell flat. They were able to take only two “official” wickets as South Africa moved from their overnight 29-0 to 202-2 as Smith reached his 20th Test ton off 182 balls.

With Hashim Amla (66), he put on 164 in 40 overs – a record second-wicket partnership at this historic ground against England – at a cracking rate of just over four an over. Smith, taken to task for not walking on local television by West Indian commentator Ian Bishop - was finally out to an edge off Ryan Sidebottom, taken by Andrew Strauss at first slip after 187 balls, 252 minutes and 16 fours.

Only rain can save England now, and it’s just started to come down heavily here (see picture above), flooding the outfield and ruling out play for the rest of the day.

As the covers come on, South Africa are 208-2 with Amla on 71 and Jacques Kallis 2 – that’s a lead of 28 with eight wickets in hand. A win for South Africa– which would see this absorbing series drawn 1-1 and the hosts retain the Basil D’Oliviera trophy – now appears to depend purely on the weather.

But with every run Smith made this morning, England’s sense of frustration grew as the realisation dawned that the new-fangled review system cannot ensure Test cricket is free of grinding injustice.

The South African leader, not the most lovable of cricketers, should have been long gone. After patiently guiding his side through a sticky evening session involving a rain break and floodlights last night, he had a wild slash at birthday boy Sidebottom, 32 today

The entire England side went up with Stuart Broad particularly vociferous in his appeal, marching around his his arms up.

While on-field umpire Tony Hill remained curiously unmoved, England captain Andrew Strauss immediately called for a review. And after the initial problems with the new-fangled system, he only does that when he’s sure something’s wrong.

The music played, the replays rolled... and England’s celebrating fielders could hardly believe it when Harper said he heard nothing on the stump mike and backed New Zealander Hill’s not-out verdict.

Ashes-winner Matthew Hoggard, emerging from the SABC commentary box, told me: “There was a definite noise. I don’t understand why it wasn’t given. Once we’d turned the sound up, it was quite clear.

“Perhaps the television umpire had a problem with the feed from the pitch mike. But without hotspot, it’s so difficult.”

Former South African Test player Pommie Mbangwa said: “It was definitely out, although quite a few people couldn’t here the noise in the commentary box until they turned up the sounds.”

Hotspot technology shows an infra-red image of where the ball hits the bat. Though it is functioning for reviews in Australia’s current series against Pakistan, it is not available here, making catches behind difficult to give.

But since then I’ve even had fans coming up saying they heard the nick – and texts from South African fans in London, watching Sky, laughing at their captain’s luck. In fact, I’ve just been interviewed by SABC television, giving the Evening Standard’s verdict on their conscience-free captain.

Australian television umpire Harper, already under fire for not giving a no ball when Alastair Cook was out LBW yesterday, will come under further scPublish Postrutiny from the England camp – though Paul Collingwood said last night England were more acceptant of that decision after further review of the tapes.

But he confirmed England coach Andy Flower had made a brief visit to match referee Rohsan Mahanama after that decision.

Another visit may be required after Smith’s let off. The Standard’s Jon Agnew, seething in the Test Match Special box, twittered: “Interesting how Smith deals with this afterwards. Will it be a 'special' innings in light of having stood on 15? There will be replay after replay.”

England’s disappointment was eased an over later when they grabbed their only wicket of the morning. Ashwell Prince prodded forward at Broad – who looked really fired-up this morning after being told where to go by Jacques Kallis when he got out yesterday – and the thick edge flew to Graeme Swann at slip. No doubt about that one.

The first slip catch of the Test so far left South Africa, 29-0 after those 12 sticky overs last night, 36-1 in the 17th over. But that was as good as it got for England.

The batsman formerly known as Prince (as they like to call him here) did brilliantly to survive two hostile spells amid the rain break and badlight last night, but all that hard work -19 runs off 48 balls - was in vain and he attempted to fend off a good, rising delivery.

Amla marched out to join his captain and together they survived a difficult early morning session. With the sun baking the life out of yesterday’s jumpy strip – and limiting the swing for England’s seamers - South Africa’s 50 came up six overs into the morning session.

Broad and Sidebottom were getting movement and finding a good length... but without the constant menace provided by the pace of Dale Steyn and Morne Morkel in their devastating opening 12-over spell yesterday, when four England wickets fell for less than 40 runs.

Smith was out for 15. But now he's got 84 and South Africa have got this one in the bag


SOUTH AFRICAN captain Graeme Smith enjoyed an incredible let off as the second day of the final Test at the Wanderers got underway amid growing controversy this morning.

Luckless England were all out for a paltry 180 yesterday as their attempt to engineer the draw that would clinch this absorbing series fell flat. They were able to take only one wicket as South Africa moved from their overnight 29-0 to 160-1 at lunch today with Smith looking imperious on 84 off 155 balls and the reliable Hashim Amla also unbeaten on 53 off 80.

Together they have put on 125 in 30 overs – a record second-wicket partnership at this historic ground against England – at a cracking rate of just over four an over. Only rain can save England now, and the clouds are rolling in after a bright morning.

A win for South Africa– which would see this absorbing series drawn 1-1 and the hosts retain the Basil D’Oliviera trophy – looks more likely by the over.

And with every run Smith makes, England’s sense of frustration will grow given the events of this morning, where the review system once more failed to ensure Test cricket isfree of grinding injustice.

The South African leader, not the most lovable of cricketers, should have been long gone. After patiently guiding his side through a sticky evening session involving a rain break and floodlights last night, he had a wild slash at birthday boy Ryan Sidebottom after just four overs this morning – when he had scored just 15.

Sidebottom, 32 today, certainly thought Smith had got a touch to wicketkeeper Matt Prior with his uncharacteristic attempted cut off the final ball of his second over – and the entire England side went up with Stuart Broad particularly vociferous in his appeal, marching around his his arms up.

While on-field umpire Tony Hill remained curiously unmoved, England captain Andrew Strauss immediately called for a review. And after the initial problems with the new-fangled system, he only does that when he’s sure something’s wrong.

The music played, the replays rolled... and England’s celebrating fielders could hardly believe it when television umpire Daryl Harper said he heard nothing on the stump mike and backed New Zealander Hill’s not-out verdict.

Ashes-winner Matthew Hoggard, emerging from the SABC commentary box, told me: “There was a definite noise. I don’t understand why it wasn’t given. Once we’d turned the sound up, it was quite clear.

“Perhaps the television umpire had a problem with the feed from the pitch mike. But without hotspot, it’s so difficult.”

Hotspot technology shows an infra-red image of where the ball hits the bat. Though it is functioning for reviews in Australia’s current series against Pakistan, it is not available here, making catches behind difficult to give.

But since then I’ve even had fans coming up saying they heard the nick – and texts from South African fans in London, watching Sky, laughing at their captain’s luck. In fact, I’ve just been interviewed by SABC television, giving the Evening Standard’s verdict on their conscience-free captain.

Australian television umpire Harper, already under fire for not giving a no ball when Alastair Cook was out LBW yesterday, will come under further scrutiny from the England camp – though Paul Collingwood said last night England were more acceptant of that decision after further review of the tapes.

But he confirmed England coach Andy Flower had made a brief visit to match referee Rohsan Mahanama after that decision.

Another visit may be required after Smith’s let off. The Standard’s Jon Agnew, seething in the Test Match Special box, twittered: “Interesting how Smith deals with this afterwards. Will it be a 'special' innings in light of having stood on 15? There will be replay after replay.”

England’s disappointment was eased an over later when they grabbed their only wicket of the morning (see picture above). Ashwell Prince prodded forward at Broad – who looked really fired-up this morning after being told where to go by Jacques Kallis when he got out yesterday – and the thick edge flew to Graeme Swann at slip. No doubt about that one.

The first slip catch of the Test so far left South Africa, 29-0 after those 12 sticky overs last night, 36-1 in the 17th over. But that was as good as it got for England.

The batsman formerly known as Prince (as they like to call him here) did brilliantly to survive two hostile spells amid the rain break and badlight last night, but all that hard work -19 runs off 48 balls - was in vain and he attempted to fend off a good, rising delivery.

Amla marched out to join his captain and together they survived a difficult early morning session. With the sun baking the life out of yesterday’s jumpy strip – and limiting the swing for England’s seamers - South Africa’s 50 came up six overs into the morning session.

Broad and Sidebottom were getting movement and finding a good length... but without the constant menace provided by the pace of Dale Steyn and Morne Morkel in their devastating opening 12-over spell yesterday, when four England wickets fell for less than 40 runs.

As Steyn said last night: “When you have conditions like this, where the ball is doing things off a track like this, you have to fill you boots. It doesn’t happen that often in Test cricket – but it often happens at the Wanderers.”

Steyn, who took 5-51 yesterday, also expressed his surprise at the decision to axe Graham Onions – the legendary No11 bat and useful seamer – for Sidebottom. He said: “Sir Graham Onions, that’s what they’re calling him isn’t it? He might have been dangerous on this pitch. I don’t understand why they changed a winning side.”

Sidebottom was unable to justify the selectors’ decision with a wicket – he has bowled 13 overs, 0-32 so far- and before lunch England had resorted to the spin of Graeme Swann and the medium pace of Collingwood as smug Smith and ambling Amla helped South Africa take a stranglehold on the final Test.

Incredible let-off for Smith and South Africa strengthen their grip


SOUTH AFRICAN captain Graeme Smith enjoyed an incredible let off as the second day of the final Test at the Wanderers got underway this morning.

Luckless England, all out for a paltry 180 yesterday, were able to take only one wicket as South Africa moved from their overnight 29-0 to 102-1 with Smith looking ominous on 51 off 193 balls and Hashim Amla also unbeaten on 28.

But by then, Smith should have been long gone. After patiently guiding his side through a sticky evening session involving a rain break and floodlights last night, he had a wild slash at birthday boy Ryan Sidebottom after just four overs this morning – when he had scored just 15.

Sidebottom, 32 today, certainly thought Smith had got a touch with his uncharacteristic attempted cut off the final ball of his second over – and the entire England side went up with Stuart Broad particularly vociferous in his appeal.

While on-field umpire Tony Hill remained unmoved, England captain Andrew Strauss immediately called for a review.

England’s celebrating fielders could hardly believe it when television umpire Daryl Harper said he heard nothing on the stump mike and backed New Zealander Hill’s not-out verdict.

Ashes-winner Matthew Hoggard, emerging from the SABC commentary box, told me: “There was a definite noise. I don’t understand why it wasn’t given. Once we’d turned the sound up, it was quite clear.

“Perhaps the television umpire had a problem with the feed from the pitch mike. But without hotspot, it’s so difficult.”

Hotspot technology shows an infra-red image of where the ball hits. Though it is functioning for reviews in Australia’s current series against Pakistan, it is not available here, making catches behind difficult to give.

But since then I’ve even had fans coming up saying they heard the nick – and texts from South African fans in London, watching Sky, laughing at their luck.

Australian television umpire Harper, already under fire for not giving a no ball when Alastair Cook was out LBW yesterday, will come under further scrutiny from the England camp – though Paul Collingwood said last night England were more acceptant of that decision after further review of the tapes.

But he confirmed England coach Andy Flower had made a brief visit to match referee Rohsan Mahanama after that decision.

England’s disappointment was eased an over later when they grabbed their first wicket of the morning. Ashwell Prince prodded forward at Stuart Broad – who looked really fired-up this morning after being told where to go by Jacques Kallis when he got out yesterday – and the thick edge flew to Graeme Swann at slip. No doubt about that one.

The first slip catch of the Test so far left South Africa, 29-0 after those 12 sticky overs last night, 36-1 in the 17th over.

The batsman formerly known as Prince (as they like to call him here) did brilliantly to survive two hostile spells amid the rain break and badlight last night, but all that hard work -19 runs off 48 balls - was in vain and he attempted to fend off a good, rising delivery.

Amla marched out to join his captain and together they survived a difficult early morning session.

With the sun baking the life out of yesterday’s jumpy strip – and limiting the swing for England’s seamers - South Africa’s 50 came up six overs into the morning session.

Broad and Sidebottom were getting movement and finding a good length... but without the constant menace provided by the pace of Dale Steyn and Morne Morkel in their devastating opening 12-over spell yesterday, when four England wickets fell for less than 40 runs.

As Steyn said last night: “When you have conditions like this, where the ball is doing things off a track like this, you have to fill you boots. It doesn’t happen that often in Test cricket – but it often happens at the Wanderers.”

Thursday, 14 January 2010

Onions out, Sidebottom in... and my journey to Soccer City


WAITING for the big start at the Wanderers, just thought I'd show you a picture taken yesterday, yes that's me at Soccer City, where the World Cup will kick off on June 11 with South Africa playing Mexico.
It's also the 94,600 venue for the final on July 11, where England will play Spain. But those teams have yet to be confirmed!
Hell of a place, Soccer City. Shaped like a kalabash, an African cauldron, it's a unique, African design and the inside is coming on apace.
We sneaked in using our cricket accreditation yesterday afternoon and walked about to our heart's content. I even found the highest seat in the house, row BB, seat 1, right up behind the goal.
Outside the news is not so good. A small shanty town has appeared to service the workers, the Stadium Road sign is hanging off, bulldozers abound. The great walkway up to the stadium appears to have fallen into disrepair.
But there's little doubt it will all be ready for next year. It's not easy to find, but presumably there will be better sign-posting by the time the tournament starts - or was it my father's poor navigation?!
Anyway, back to the cricket. Graham Onions, a legend with the bat (the South Africans can't get him out, he's been the last man standing twice in this series) and not a bad bowler, appears to be languishing on the edge of the warm-ups, suggesting Ryan Sidebottom may get his first Test of the tour.
South Africa have called up McLaren for spinner Harris, reinforcing the idea that this is going to be a swinger's paradise at the Wanderers, where the crowd is conspicuously sparse for the biggest Test of the winter.
McLaren makes his debut, as does Wayne Parnell, in for the injured Friedel De Wet.
And here comes the toss... Andrew Strauss wins yet again, he'll bat. And confirms Onions has been dropped for Sidebottom. Shocker. Onions is our legend with the bat, twice standing firm at No11 for the draw. |But he hasn't had a lot of luck with the ball.
Strauss says: "Graham has done well for us but Ryan will ask a few questions of the batsmen here."

Thursday, 7 January 2010

Onions snatches another draw from the jaws of defeat... at the drop of a bat


OH the drama, the tension, the pure nerve-jangling horror of that last hour at Newlands today as England held on desperately for a miraculous draw in Cape Town.

And as the pulse rate slows, it’s official. Graham Onions is now the best No11 batsman in Test cricket, based purely on raw nerve. He can snatch a draw from the jaws of defeat at the drop of a bat.

Another fantastic Test match, more last-gasp drama... and England go to the Wanderers for the final clash on Thursday 1-0 up. Unbeatable stuff. And all watched by a record 79,375 over five ridiculously sunny days in Cape Town.

You lot back in the snow will live to regret that time in early December when you decided not to come out here and watch this series. What a team Andrew Strauss has got. More spine than anybody’s seen in an England side for a long, long time. And the drink’s cheap, the hotels are clean, the sun always shines. I digress.

After four hours of stoic resistance from Paul Collingwood (pictured) and Ian Bell, there were 17 overs to play when the Durham man was out for 40 after four hours and 37 minutes of quite heroic defiance.

Dale Steyn with the new ball today was quite simply magnificent – but the world’s No1 Test bowler was unable to waggle a wicket when it mattered with the new ball. Instead it was JP Duminy who struck to end the sixth wicket partnership, which lasted 127 runs and 57 overs. Duminy got one to turn and Jacques Kallis took the catch at first slip to a huge roar from another near-sell-out crowd.

I’d warned all day that Duminy was the real spinner in this team. Unlike their specialist slow bowler Paul Harris, JP actually turns the ball, and the groundsman here, Evan Flint, had said before play began this morning that this track would be a spinner’s wicket on the final day.

Duminy proved the point again two overs later, having Matt Prior caught at very silly mid off by AB De Villiers for four off just nine balls. Suddenly England were 278-7 with 15 overs to negotiate. Gulp.

Out strode Stuart Broad, and there I was reminding all the South Africans he’d been an England Under15 opening bat until he grew six inches in height and turned to pace bowling in his late teens.

Broadie survived his first over from Duminy. Just. His sixth ball from the local hero got stuck under the bat and popped into the hands of Harris at silly point. Up they went, wicket number eight – but no fickle finger from the umpire and on review it was inconclusive. Was it a bump ball or a half volley? Depends which country you support.

Broadie looked a little guilty but survived... and two overs later he was at it again, popping one up to the six-strong inner circle. Graeme Smith and Harris clashed heads in their efforts to get the ball in hand. Both were left on the floor. Broad grinned sheepishly and stood his ground.

But it couldn’t last. Harris eventually got him with a perfect ball which popped off a length and hit the glove on the way through to De Villiers. He stayed for a silly review of an obvious decision and departed to be replaced by his Nottinghamshire team-mate Graeme Swann with 20 balls left. Oops, 286-8. What a finish.

Swanny defused some of the tension by swatting a poor Harris ball for four. Yes, off his first ball. Two slips, two silly points, a leg slip, a leg gully and a short leg but off it went to the boundary. A sigh of relief. Swannie wouldn’t let us down, he’s had a hell of a series with the bat and the ball.

But at the other end, there was Bell, imperious, superb in the last two Tests after his stuttering start in the drawn Test at Centurion. In Durban, his 140 ensured victory by an innings. Here, he scored a vital first innings 41 and with four overs to come, he calmly put Harris to the fence to move to 78. What a man. How could we ever have doubted the Sherminator?

But then the big, big moment. Smith turned to Morkel for one last blast with three overs to play. And for once in 286 minutes, the Warwickshire warrior had a nibble at one outside the off stump – and it flew to a gleeful Smith. Gone for 78, 213 balls, but why did he play it?

In Centurion, the last pair were left with 19 balls to negotiate. Here it was 17. This time Graeme Onions came out to join a recently arrived Swann rather than a bedded-in Collingwood.

Surely they couldn’t make it again? Morkel charged in, Onions kept him out. Again and again. Then Steyn comes on from the other end, but pulls up with the old hamstring after his first ball. After a bit of treatment from the physio, he hurls another one down at Swann... who pushes him comfortably for two.

With texts and emails from all over the world hailing another fantastic Test between these two warring rivals, Swannie took another comfortable two off the next one. And then got a bouncer for his troubles. And another. Silly Steyn. Two wasted deliveries. Swannie’s plan entirely. At 296-9 we were still 170 short of the victory target, but that had been long forgotten.

Down to the last over from Morkel, who has been superb throughout this series. His 28th over but he’s only showing 1-51 on the scoreboard. Been unlucky all day. Onions to face. Six balls from another glorious draw.

“Bunny” may have left the first. Or did it go right through him? Morkel raises his arms but no, no edge. Onions plays the second competently. Durham’s finest No11 bat has been here before. He looks calm, and digs out a perfect Yorker. Even the South Africans in the press box yell “well played”. Incredible.

Three to go. Slower ball this time. Yorker length. Perfectly played. He bats nine for Durham this lad, who told us in Centurion: “It’s not like oop north in the sun here”.

Drama on the penultimate ball. They all go up... except wicketkeeper Mark Boucher, who takes the catch. The umpire is unmoved, so is Onions. Predictably, they ask for a review. Not out, touched his shirt on the way through. The South Africans are, as they say around these parts, having kittens.

Last ball. Can England do it again? Yes. It’s just outside the off stump. Onions leaves it, then turns to raise a clenched fist to the dressing room. Yes! A draw in our time! We go to Johannesburg unbeatable!

Captain Strauss said: “We started today outsiders to get the draw. Paul and Ian played exceptional innings, got us so close to the line. But just when we started thinking we’d got there, South Africa came back at us. Credit to them.

“Graham Onions is a legend. We keep asking our No11 to do it for us and he’s done it again. We didn’t come here to draw a series. We go to Johannesburg focused on winning the Test match. We’re delighted to get away with a draw.”

South Africa captain Graeme Smith got the man of the match award despite Bell’s efforts for England, for his 183 in the second innings. He said: “Look, I think it will probably take a day or two to get over that. We were under pressure going into this Test match.

“We really fought hard, played positive cricket. We just weren’t able to throw that final punch. Credit to Collingwood and Bell. It’s been a great Test but we never had the knock-out blow.

“Dale’s okay, bit of wear and tear. Friedel De Wet has a back injury and hasn’t recovered from that. But credit to the guys, they gave 100 percent. We just weren’t good enough to get over the line, we’ve done that twice in this series.

“Look, if we win the last Test, we’ll draw the series and still hang on to the trophy.”

In front of another huge crowd — the 17,000-capacity Newlands ground was sold out for the first four days and is 14,364 today for a record five-day tally of 79,375 — the tourists lost nightwatchman Jimmy Anderson (nine) and locally-born Jonathan Trott (42) in the morning session. But Collingwood and Bell survived everything the hosts could throw at them to guide England deep into the final session without further loss.

With time running out, England were 255 for five — 211 behind the hosts with an estimated 23 overs of this absorbing contest to come. They lost seven wickets in the final session in the opening drawn Test in Centurion when the new ball was used, so there were always lingering doubts.

Defeat here would have squared the series at 1-1 going into next Thursday’s final Test at the Wanderers high-altitude Johannesburg, making South Africa favourites to clinch victory in this fascinating 20-day tug-of-war. As it is, England will fly inland on Sunday knowing they can’t lose.
England’s so-called chase — they needed 466 runs off 146 overs when South African captain Graeme Smith declared yesterday before tea — was never really on. But with Andrew Strauss and Alastair Cook falling after a promising century-strong opening partnership last night and Kevin Pietersen joining them soon afterwards, even the chances of surviving for a draw looked anorexcally slim.
Resuming at their overnight 132 for three, Anderson — out here for his first ever golden duck in the first innings — survived for 45 minutes.
But he fell to the eternally fortunate arris, the non-spinning spinner, whose awful full toss was kept down by Anderson but it came off the boot and was brilliantly caught by Ashwell Prince, diving one-handed to his right.
Anderson departed for nine, but he’d done his job, batting 52 balls and supporting Trott for an hour to leave England on 153 for four.
Collingwood arrived but almost suffered a quick exit. His first ball from Harris hit something and was snapped up in the slips. The entire South African cordon went up, demanding the departure of England’s most stubborn resistor.
New Zealand umpire Tony Hill gave it out but Collingwood immediately called for a review.
Without hot-spot technology or the snickometer stump microphone, there was no evidence of a touch as the ball went through to hit his hip. The decision went in Collingwood’s favour. Gamesmanship by the hosts? Did they really hear something? Hard to tell.
But in the light of their ball-tampering allegations that apparently orchestrated appeal wasn’t quite what you’d call cricket either.
Seven overs later, the world’s top ranked Test bowler Dale Steyn, now fully recovered from the hamstring injury which forced him out of the drawn First Test in Centurion last month, worked his 90mph magic.
Trott, on 42 from 99 deliveries full of fiddling and marking his crease, saw his off-stump go flying as Steyn produced a touch of nip from the seam and squeezed the ball between bat and pad to leave England tottering on 160 for five.
Bell then joined Collingwood and the pair began the arduous task of trying to steady the England ship surviving a testing period as the hosts reached 179 for five at lunch.
The Durham man, suffering from a bad back all tour and the left index finger he dislocated during the wonderful win in Durban last time out, reached the break scoring a mere eight runs off 51 balls amid echoes of Cardiff and Centurion, where he was integral in carrying his side to safety. At the other end, Bell was almost belligerent scoring 12 off 27 up to lunch to frustrate the South Africans.
Before Christmas, Bell was considered something of a liability. But that superb match-securing 140 in Durban followed by a careful 48 in the first innings here makes him the one of the form batsmen — and with South Africa stuck out in the sun all day, the chances of a courageous draw were growing by the over.
Seamer Friedel de Wet – controversially drafted in to replace Makhaya Ntini, the 101-cap legend of black South Africa — needed an injection in his buttock for a muscle spasm before play and was bowling well below his normal pace.

After lunch, South Africa turned to Morkel for the new ball. He has been head-and-shoulders above the rest of the attack throughout this series and took five in the first innings here. At the other end Steyn, bowling like an express train gave Collingwood a torrid work out.

On another day, with a little more luck, Steyn and Morkel might have blown half a team away. But somehow Colly and Bell survived the crucial 20 overs after the new ball, defying the odds and giving England a real glimmer of hope.

At one point, the pair put on just one run in 24 balls between the 84th and 89th overs and when Collingwood picked up a four off Harris in the 101st over, it was England’s first boundary since Bell’s four off Steyn in the 83rd over – a lean period lasting 108 nerve-jangling balls.

But survive they did, and when Harris came back on in the 95th over, you could almost sense the relief. Steyn and Morkel had been magnificent, Kallis and De Wet less so. But the new ball had failed to produce the wicket South Africa so desperately needed.

In the final session, South Africa turned to twin-pronged spin, with JP Duminy joining Harris and finding some serious turn for the first time. But England’s heroic pairing simply adapted and Bell went to his 50 first, tucking Duminy away for four on the leg side after three hours and 134 balls. What a knock

At that point, with Steyn firing up again from the Wynburg end, Collingwood was on 32 off 156 balls and England were 249-5 with 26 overs to survive and looking comfortable – until the heart-stopping clatter of wickets began again with Colly, Prior, Broad and Bell. But not Onions. No, never Onions!