United and Fergie: defying all the laws of logic

MANCHESTER UNITED should be a club struggling to survive. Their elderly manager (right) has been in charge for 23 years and is always in trouble with referees. They are owned by penny-pinching American clock makers called Glazer. The News of the World claims today they paid 287 different companies a total of £94million over two years, quite apart from sorting the players' exorbitant salaries. And, right now, their defence is missing Rio Ferdinand, Nemanja Vidic, Wes Brown, Gary Neville, Jonny Evans and Edwin van der Sar.

But this weekend they moved to within two points of Chelsea at the top of the Premier League with an emphatic 4-0 win at West Ham inspired by Paul "I want to retire" Scholes. And that pensioner Sir Alex Ferguson, in charge for his 1,300th game, was all smiles after playing Patrice Evra as an emergency centre-back and grinning: "He's the smallest centre-half in the world but I would have no problems using him there in Europe this week."

United have already qualified for the knock-out stages of the Champions League of course. And while Chelsea and Arsenal crashed out of the Carling Cup this week, Fergie's fledglings surged into the semi-finals.

It just doesn't make any sense. Fergie should be writhing in discomfort, beset by injuries, foreign ownership, a dodgy hip and rich rivals. Instead, he's on top of the world and heading, after Chelsea's dramatic 2-1 defeat at Manchester City yesterday, for a successful Premier League title defence.

Year after year the Red Devils over-achieve, while Chelsea (new manager, sugar-daddy owner, hardly any injuries) slip in strange places - their goalkeeper Petr Cech did them no favours in at Eastlands and neither did Frank Lampard, who missed his first penalty in 22 attempts going back two seasons. City should have been pegged back to an eighth successive draw, instead they helped rivals United close that gap emphatically.

Arsenal (younger manager, well-run club, a few injuries) recovered from their devastating trio of defeats against Sunderland, Chelsea and Manchester City with a 2-0 win over Stoke but are a distant eight points behind the leaders. And anyone who saw Emmanuel Eboue's incredible goal-line deny his captain Cesc Fabregas knows Arsene Wenger's men remain in disarray. Only Andrei Arshavin, beavering away on his own up front, shows any real spark. With Robin van Persie and Nicklas Bendtner injured and Eduardo and Carlos Vela not up to the job, Wenger should have bought a replacement for Emmanuel Adebayor up front.

While Fergie was replacing Cristiano Ronaldo with the quality of Antonio Valencia, Wenger did nowt. While United blend Ryan Giggs and Scholes with the up-and-coming Darron Gibson, Arsenal and Chelsea sell off their young academy players and keep faith in moderate foreign youngsters. Perhaps now we are starting to see why United do it year after year.

And then there's Liverpool. Held 0-0 at Blackburn yesterday, they thought Rafa Benitez would be their Ferguson, the man to restore Anfield to the Euro-dominating Shankly/Fagan/Dalglish heights they reached 30 years ago. But that incredible early Champions League success in Istanbul proved a fluke. They are now 12 points off the top in seventh, leaving Manchester City, Aston Villa and Spurs to threaten their annual place in the top four.

Villa, who can perhaps claim Martin O'Neill has all the attributes of a young Fergie, crushed Hull 3-0 to maintain their top six form. But the main image at Villa Park was the tearful reaction of Jimmy Bullard, their record £5m signing from Fulham, to his latest knee injury. Meanwhile his old club continue to thrive under my old boss "Woy" Hodgson and Spurs failed to move past rivals Arsenal in third when they were held 2-2 by Everton. Ironically, American Tim Howard, Manchester United's old No1 sold off by Fergie, saved the late Jermain Defoe penalty which would have won it for Spurs.

Elswhere, Portsmouth and Wolves both produced their third wins of the season against Burnley and Bolton while Birmingham are looking secure in their top-flight status after a 3-2 win at inconsistent Wigan.

Out-powered. Out-classed. For Arsenal, the war is over

SO that's it for another season, Gooners. The Premier League trophy will have to wait for yet another year. After Arsenal 0, Chelsea 3 today, the Blues are 11 points clear of their north London rivals. And that gap is not going to narrow on the evidence of yesterday's showdown.

As Jamie Redknapp said: "Out-powered, out-classed. Chelsea were on another level to Arsenal."

He's right of course. I saw Nigel Winterburn yesterday trying to think of Arsenal players who would get in the Chelsea team. Eduardo and Andrei Arshavin wouldn't have a hope against Didier Drogba, who scored two yesterday, and former Gunner Nicolas Anelka, who simply cut his old side apart. The injured Robin van Persie is hardly in that class either.

Winterburn suggested Thomas Vermaelen, who contributed an own goal yesterday, but given the dominance of John Terry and Ricardo Carvalho, I can't see a place for the Verminator either.

And in the middle of the park, Michael Essien, Frank Lampard, Michael Ballack and Co are hardly going to be threatened by lightweights like Alex Song, taken off at half-time, and Denilson. Men against boys.

Typically, Arsenal played their pretty football. But despite the imploring Emirates crowd, the shots never came. In front of goal, the loss of Emmanuel Adebayor remains glaring. Wenger's moth-filled wallet should have creaked open for a new striker when the Togo international went to Manchester City, but it never happened.

And the one real chance, where Arshavin scored at 2-0 down in the second half, was righly ruled out for Eduardo's high foot, which took the ball out of Petr Cech's hands.

Drogba, who now boasts ten goals in nine games against Arsenal, said: "I like to play against them. They used to be the team everyone in France supported. I really like a win like this. I was pointing at my right boot as I came off to show the red laces, my part in the campaign against AIDS.

"Last season we showed we could be champions but we lost a lot of points at home. This season, we don't give the opposition any chances. We have more confidence, it's easier."

John Terry said: "Once again, we soaked it up. Going forward, we were exceptional. Our midfielders were going through the middle of them. We have to stay together now. You can see people throwing their bodies in front of balls. Fighting for eachother."

Carlo Ancelotti certainly seems to have his team playing for eachother, a trick Jose Mourinho managed but Avram Grant, Phil Scolari and Guus Hiddink couldn't quite match.

Ancelotti, five points clear at the top, said: "Today in defence we were fantastic. Offensively we could do better, sometimes we lost the ball. We have to stay at the training ground."

Sure, Manchester United shrugged off Portsmouth yesterday with a Wayne Rooney hat-trick - and didn't Ryan Giggs do well - but Chelsea are different gravy.

Of more imporance in north London? Fourth place. Spurs are third at the moment at look like they might stay there after their 1-1 draw against Aston Villa. Fifth-placed Liverpool saw off Everton 2-0 to win the Merseyside derby and start putting pressure on Arsenal.

And Wenger has to accept, as the seats at the Emirates emptied long before the finish, Arsenal fans fear years of under-investment could finally see the Gunners slip out of the top four.

Wenger, whose pledge to end the five-year trophy drought is looking a little hollow, said: "The first part of the game was all us. Their first shot of the game went in. We find ourselves 2-0 down at half-time and it's difficult. We were very unfortunate to be like that a half-time.

"I watched the decision on the goal we scored five times, I still don't understand it. It was their player who had a foot up (as he said that, the television replay showed Eduardo kicking the ball out of Petr Cech's hands before Arshavin's fine finish). We had plenty opportunites where, with a better first touch and more belief, we could score.

"We have nothing to be ashamed of. It all went Chelsea's way today. I was not specially impressed with what happened on the pitch but they took their chances well. We're not in the title race right now but it's up to us to come back into it."

And Arsenal fans everywhere held their head in their hands.