The usual suspects: Africa's World Cup hopefuls head for the last 90 minutes of qualification with the "Big Five" favourites for Brazil

Brace yourself: Nigeria's Emmanuel Emenike

Nearly four years and an Arab Spring or two after the 2010 World Cup in South Africa, it’s the usual suspects who are looking likely to qualify for Brazil 2014.

Nearly four years on, Cameroon, Nigeria, Ghana, Ivory Coast and Algeria – the five sides who qualified with hosts Bafana Bafana in the last global footballing saga – are once again the favourites to fill Africa’s ‘big five’ qualifying spots after the first legs of CAF’s unjust qualifiers.

Favourites Ghana don’t take on riot-ravaged Egypt until tomorrow night, when they play their first leg in Kumasi but Didier Drogba’s Ivory Coast and African Nations Cup champions Nigeria cruised to their expected first leg victories over the weekend.

Former Chelsea veteran Drogba scored the opening goal for the Elephants against Senegal with Lamine Sane then providing an own goal before another Chelsea old boy Salomon Kalou made it three in the 50^th minute.

Newcastle’s Papiss Cisse pulled one back for Senegal but it was Arsenal’s unwanted Gervinho, now playing in Italy for Roma, who pulled the strings for the Ivory Coast, playing a part in all three goals and setting up Africa’s top-ranked nation for qualification with a two-goal cushion.

The Cote D’Ivoire have gone 20 games without defeat in World Cup qualifying – they’ve won 14 and drawn six since a 3-2 loss against Cameroon in September 2005.

Nigeria coped reasonably well in Addis Ababa against South Africa’s Group A nemesis Ethiopia. The loudly backed home side, desperate for a first World Cup finals appearance, dominated early on and – after a goalless first half - deserved to go ahead in the 57^th minute through Behailu Assefa.

 But it was that man Emmanuel Emenike – who played for two years in South Africa five years ago with Mpumalanga Blacks Aces and FC Cape Town – who silenced the Walya Antelopes with an equaliser followed by a last-gasp penalty to secure a narrow away advantage before the return to Nigeria.

Game of the weekend came in Ougadougou where Burkina Faso saw off Algeria but gave away what could be two decisive away goals in a 3-2 win over visiting Algeria. The Burkinabians, finalists at AFCON in South Africa earlier this year, went 2-0 up through Jonathan Pitroipa and Djakaridja Kone.

Sofiane Feghouli and Carl Medjani made it 2-2 before Fortunate Dusseldorf-based Aristide Bance, who had a first half penalty saved by Adi Mbolhi, scored the winner from the spot after a highly-controversial 86^th minute handball decision. Algeria remain in pole position despite defeat though Stallions coach Paul Put insists: “We will go to Algiers with every intention of qualifying.”

Tunisia, only in the play-offs because upstarts Cape Verde fell foul of the rules, gave Cameroon a tough ride in Rades but couldn’t find a way past the Indomitable Lions’ French-based goalkeeper Charles Itandj.

With Chelsea’s experienced on-loan striker Samuel Eto’o returning for the umpteenth time after international retirement, Cameroon nearly snatched it through Peirre Webo. This one might be the tightest second leg of the lot, but Yaounde should be celebrating when the second legs are played in mid-November.

And what of South Africa? Held 1-1 by fellow-non-qualifiers Morocco in Agadir on Friday night, this from Dean Furman on Twitter sums it up:  “Solid showing for Bafana last night against a strong Moroccan side. Congratulations to the young boys making their debut. Hopefully the start of big things in the future.”

BOLLOCKZ! my show on www.ballz.co.za, airs every Thursday from 9am. See the Ballz channel on www.YouTube.com for our growing collection of interviews with the big names in South African football.

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news… and read my “Neal and Pray” column every Tuesday inwww.thenewage.co.za.

BOLLOCKZ! is backed by www.topodds.com - have a look at their site for my latest sports betting advice!

Tell the missus Saturday night's sorted: It's Messi v Ronaldo. One day you'll tell the grandchildren about them.

All-white chalk & red-and-blue cheese

Right, drop whatever it is you’re doing Saturday night. Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo are on the box. Together. The Flea and CR7. Our goalden gods of the electronic age. The miracle workers of our times. One day, circa 2032, we will be able to look back and tell our grand-children: I was alive and spellbound when those two were ripping up record books.

Apparently impervious to injury or exhaustion, they are red-and-blue cheese and all-white-on-the-night chalk: one a tiny Argentine with twinkling toes who needed growth hormone therapy to reach 1.69m (5ft 7in), the other a Portuguese colossus, 1.86m (6ft 1in), and capable of sheer perfection.

They have dominated the best league in the world for three years, two foreigners inspiring a football-fuelled nation which currently boasts both the World Cup and European Championship. Though Messi and Barcelona have had the edge, Ronaldo and Real Madrid are threatening an astonishing comeback this season.

On Tuesday night, CR7 and Real went to Bayern Munich in their Champions League semi-final first leg. Jose Mourinho’s men lost 2-1 to a late Mario Gomez strike but that Mesut Ozil away goal – made by Ronaldo - should see them safely through to the final with the second leg at the Bernebeu.

On Wednesday, Messi and Barca lost 1-0 at Chelsea – for once the Flea, though dangerous, failed to score as the Spaniards hit the woodwork twice and succumbed to an oft-inspired but oft-tumbling Didier Drogba. You still wouldn’t bet against an All-Spanish final in Munich come May.

The fact that neither Messi nor Ronaldo managed a goal this week has been widely highlighted. But their unexpected blanks will only serve to heighten expectation on Saturday night at the Nou Camp, when the Spanish giants meet in the long-awaited El Clasico.

It’s a showdown which will surely decide the destination of La Liga, with Real a precious but precarious four points ahead in the bitter battle between southern Catalan and central Castillian, two nations in one. Three if you include the northern Basques.

The battle between them holds such irony. Messi has on the Ballon D’Or as the world’s best for three years on the trot, but we all know Ronaldo is only a shade adrift since he won it in 2008; he’d be head-and-shoulders better than the rest – Iniesta, Gomez, Van Persie, Robben – if Barca hadn’t spotted an undersized 13-year-old with magic feet a decade ago.

The truth is, there has simply NEVER been anything like these two in the 150-year history of professional football. You can throw up some names. Dixie Dean, who scored 63 goals in a season for Everton just after they changed the off-side rule in 1927-28. Ferenc Deak who scored 66 goals for Hungary's Ferencvaros in 1948-49. Or the great Pele, who equalled that for Santos in 1958. And how about Der Bomber? Germany’s Gerd Muller struck 67 for Bayern Munich in 1972-73.

You can forget those records now. Messi, still only 24, has scored 63 goals in all competitions for Barcelona this season. Ronaldo, 27, has got 53 for Real Madrid. And they’ve both got plenty to come this season, with five to play in their head-to-head battle for La Liga and a probable two more in the Champions League.

Last weekend, fittingly, they broke the Spanish scoring record together. Ronaldo, who reset the mark last year with 40, nodded home an Angel Di Maria cross in the 74th minute of a 3-1 win at the Bernabeu against Sporting Gijon to reach 41 League goals. Two hours later, Messi joined him on 41 with both goals in Barca’s 2-1 win at Levante.

Afterwards the ever-modest Messi, who has never cut his hair fashionably, said: "Luckily things are going well for me, but the important thing is that the team performs well so we can challenge for the title.”

The more flamboyant Ronaldo, crasher of sports cars and father of a mystery child, went for: “I always believe in myself, knowing that from one moment to the next I can do important things. We are very confident and we have our fate in our own hands which is crucial for the final stages of the season.”

Any further confirmation of the Messi/Ronaldo effect can be seen in the goals scored column. Though both global stars have failed to inspire international success – that could change when Portugal compete at Euro2012 this winter and Argentina chase the Copa de America – Real Madrid now have 107 goals, Barca offer 99. Both have played 33 times. In Germany’s Bundesliga, the leaders Dortmund and second-placed Bayern have 69 from 31. In England, Manchester City lead the way with 85 from 34. The Dutch are closest with Ajax registering 84 goals in 30 games. In South Africa, second-placed Mamelodi Sundowns are the best on offer, with a meagre 40 from 25 matches.

Problem is, no other league boasts a pint-sized fireball like Messi. Or an all-singing, all dancing act like Ronaldo. To have both scoring when they want in the same division is something of a modern sporting miracle.

So, Saturday night. Put it in the diary. In front of the telly, with SuperSport3 and HD2 from 7.55pm. Share an evening with the world’s best paid footballers, Messi ($660,000 a week) and Ronaldo ($584,000 a week), and one day you, too, can tell the grandchildren: I remember them well.

Football’s rich list (Daily Mail, 12 March 2012) Includes salaries, bonuses and endorsements

£27.5m Lionel Messi (Barcelona)

£26.2m David Beckham (LA Galaxy)

£24.3m Cristiano Ronaldo (Real Madrid)

£19.4m Samuel Eto'o (Anzhi)

£17.2m Wayne Rooney (Man United)

£15.7m Sergio Aguero (Man City)

£14.7m Yaya Toure (Man City)

£13.9m Fernando Torres (Chelsea)

£12.9m Kaka (Real Madrid)

£11.9m Philipp Lahm (Bayern Munich)

This story first appeared in The New Age as part of my Neal & Pray series. You can read Neal every Tuesday in www.thenewage.co.za and follow him on twitter at www.twitter.com/nealcol.

Ivory Coast and the Toure brothers leave Portugal firing blanks

Confession time. Some of us Arsenal fans have a passion for Kolo Toure, the man mountain who holds the Ivory Coast back four together.

His brother Yaya, who is about to join Kolo at moneybags Manchester City, is also high in my affections. Arsenal had Yaya as a kid, and quickly put on their books after a fraternal trial though he played for a club in Belgium.

Yaya was allowed to go to Barcelona, where he has established himself as one of Europe’s top African stars. Kolo, one of Arsenal’s title-winning Invincibles six years ago, has decamped for the Abu Dhabi-funded rebuilding process at Eastlands. Soon, if the reports are to be believed, they will both be together at City.

The pair of them made Portugal, ranked a too-lofty No3 in the world, look very ordinary in a rain-swept Port Elizabeth.

The first Group G game followed the general binary pattern of this otherwise faultless World Cup. A bit of a burst early on, then caution as both sides attempted to avoid defeat. Tomorrow, when South Africa take on Uruguay at Loftus Versfeld in Pretoria, we hope the real action will begin as Group A moves into the second round of fixtures.

Truth is, losing your first game at the finals just isn’t acceptable. That’s why the scores so far read 1-1, 0-0, 1-0, 2-0, 1-1, 0-1, 4-0, 0-1, 2-0, 1-0, 1-1, 1-1 and 0-0, only Germany’s four-goal win over Australia relieving the monotony for these soggy fans who travelled so far.

The Portuguese community in South Africa, something of a lost tribe, number over a million. Most of the 42,000 braving the rain at the brand new Nelson Mandela Bay stadium had travelled 1,000 miles from Johannesburg for the rare chance to wave their flag with pride.

Sadly, apart from their idol Cristiano Ronaldo hitting a post from distance early on, they had little to celebrate.

Ronaldo was harshly booked soon afterwards and apart from a free-kick with the ultra-light Jabulani ball which flew over the bar like all the others in this tournament, they had little else to cheer.

Instead it was Ivory Coast, ranked 27 in the world, who were comfortably the dominant side, though they had to wait over an hour for the arrival of their talisman, Didier Drogba, who was given permission to play with a cast on his broken arm shortly before the game.

The two Toures shone throughout, as did Arsenal’s Emmanuel Eboue. Some may have been thrilled at the sight of a quintet of Chelsea stars – Kalou, Drogba, Ferreira, Carvalho, Deco. But a win was not to be in a pitch cutting up badly. By the close it was a Drogba-inspired Cote d’Ivoire who were putting all the pressure.

But there was no magic moment to lift this game. Barely a save at either end, and we will have to wait for Brazil later tonight to provide the magic this tournament so richly deserves. Ranked No1 in the world, surely the five-time world champions can give North Korea, at 105 the lowest ranked side at the finals, a good old-fashioned tonking in Group G’s second showdown?

The opening match of day five saw New Zealand grab their first-ever point in the World Cup finals. Winston Reid headed the last-gasp equaliser for the All Whites after Robert Vittek had put Slovakia ahead.

But with Paraguay and Italy drawing 1-1 the night before in Cape Town, both these side will struggle to emerge from Group F after another less than heart-stopping 90 minutes.

Ivory Coast boss Sven Goran Eriksson, the former England and Mexico coach, said: “Nobody wants to lose a game like this. We had some half chances and it was good to bring Drogba on.

“As a team we defend very well. We still have one point. Next we have Brazil, let’s see what we can do.”

Neal Collins (nealcol on Twitter) is in South Africa to promote his first novel A GAME APART. For more information see www.nealcollins.co.uk. If you think the Scottish bagpipes should be banned rather than the Vuvuzela, seehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1hrMRk5FnY.

FA Cup final: Chelsea clinch the double but fail to set the pulses racing

Chelsea clinched their first ever domestic double of League and FA Cup at Wembley today. Whoopy-do. You'll have to excuse the distinct lack of enthusiasm. I suspect there are others who feel this way.

Their multi-millionaire stars, diligently funded by oily magnate Roman Abramovich, were always going to be too much for the bankrupt Pompey party-poopers. We'll never see any of them play for Portsmouth again as they are sold off over the summer and boss Avram Grant looks for a club who can actually pay his wages.

It was always going to be this way. Sadness for Portsmouth, joy for Chelsea, crowned Premier League leaders after their 8-0 win over Stoke a week ago. Carlo Ancelotti, with two weighty pieces of silverware in his first season at Stamford Bridge, will be allowed a little self-congratulation after beating the worst side in the Premier League last season (given their points penalty for going into administration).

But at least Pompey put up a fight. And it might so easily have been the Pompey chimes we heard at the whistle. For an hour they resisted as Chelsea hit the woodwork three times and David James - making a strong claim for the England goalkeeping spot at the World Cup next month - kept them out.

South Africa captain Aaron Mokoena was particularly gritty as Frank Lampard, John Terry and - unbelievably with the goal gaping - Salomon "clueless" Kalou struck the frame of the goal.

But then the big moment. Dindan brought down by Belletti and Kevin Prince-Boateng stepped up to take the penalty and change the whole complexion of the game. Sadly his spot-kick went down the middle and Petr Cech kept it out.

Down the other end, the golden booted Drogba tumbled under a Mokoena challenge... and then stood up to bend one in off the post. Game over. An unconvincing, unenthralling FA Cup final victory.

For Ashley Cole it was a record sixth FA Cup medal, three with Arsenal, three with Chelsea - but there were hearts in mouths when Dindane turned his post-op ankle once more. But the little volcanic Ash cloud limped on, Frank Lampard then missed a late penalty... before we were treated to the millionaires leaping about while the paupers held a farewell gathering.

The big story of the day? No, not Chelsea's sensational dash to the double or a 36th goal of the season for golden boot winner Drogba.

It's the injury to Michael Ballack, who limped off after a heavy challenge in the first half. The Germany World Cup captain may face a summer on the couch while his country attempt another global triumph.

My man of the match? David James, with huge sympathy to Prince-Boateng, who was substituted in tears 20 minutes from time. Not a great season - no English representation in the Champions League final, a brave fall at the last from Fulham in the Europa League. The best (and most expensive) side won both trophies and broke all records for Premier League goals scored.

But somehow, my heart fails to hammer over this particular Blue triumph. I'm more worried about Portsmouth and their future. We may never see them in the top flight again. And that, Mr Prince-Boateng, is the real penalty the fans will have to pay.

Anelka Strikes at Last and Now Chelsea are Bolted on For The Title

BOLTON striker Kevin Davies must be kicking himself tonight. He got kicked by numerous Chelsea defenders in his side’s 1-0 defeat at Stamford Bridge last night, so perhaps that’s apt.

Tough guy Davies told us yesterday that his old buddy Anelka didn’t get on with fellow Chelsea striker Didier Drogba. So what happens in the 43^rd minute? Drogba flights in a cunning cross with his left foot and Anelka nodded home his first goal in three months. The perfect old pal’s act.

That goal in the “psychologically vital” period before half-time did for battling Bolton, whose hoped-for miracle against the leaders never quite materialised.

Victory puts the Blues in pole position for the title with just four Premier League games to play. They’re four points clear of fading Manchester United and six better than Arsenal, who play their game in hand against North London rivals Spurs at White Hart Lane tonight.

As the Wanderers ambled down the M1 to London with around 250 fans on the road with them, Davies was probably showing off about his attempt to unsettled Chelsea. The man who spent 18 months up alongside Anelka in the Frenchman’s 63 games for the Wanderers, assured us: “There doesn’t seem to be a great bond between Nic and Didier. There’s something not quite right – I’m not sure they get on very well together.

“Nicolas lights up when he plays on his own. He’s a great player but at the moment you feel he’s just not that happy.”

And of course, all he did was ensure Drogba and Anelka would bond perfectly. And at just the right time. It’s not as if the leaders were that comfortable. Davies clashed heads with Yuri Zhirkov, who was left bleeding profusely. The Russian bravely played on. Chelsea captain John Terry injured himself blocking a Davies shot 18 minutes in, but he too played on with a dodgy ankle.

But for all the bluster, Bolton couldn’t quite get to the break on even terms.

They nearly got back to a level playing field in the 62^nd minute, when a struggling Terry appeared to use an arm in the penalty area. The linesman laughed it off, indicating a slightly hairy chest had been involved. On the bench, Bolton boss Owen Coyle was tearing what’s left of his Scottish hair out.

While Anelka scored the vital goal before he was replaced in the second half, another former Arsenal man, Jack Wilshere, caught the eye too. Coyle has been demanding a World Cup call-up for the teenager on loan from the Emirates Stadium.

Certainly the 18-year-old midfielder showed talent – and attitude – before his substitution in the 82^nd minute. But Frank Lampard, the current immovable object in the England midfield, so nearly produced the vital second goal, crashing a 25-yard effort against the post after73 minutes.

There was time for Terry, looking comfortable after his ankle problem, to crash a well-struck shot just wide. But then, with five to play, Bolton sub Johan Elmander, the £9m Swede, flicked his header inches wide of Petr Cech’s goal. And that was it, the moment the title began its inexorable move back to Stamford Bridge after an absence of three painful years.

By then, Davies had been booked for a challenge on John Obi Mikel and a day that had started with such defiance gradually declined into submission.

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Portsmouth: The Road To Ruin (and I don't mean the roadwork infested A3 from London)

For whom the chimes toll: Witnessing the demise of proud Pompey

THE noise from the Pompey fans was incessant. The antique shop owner with the drum, the bloke with the bell, the endless chants. Didn't stop for 90 minutes. But it still ended Portsmouth 0, Chelsea 5.

When your club is bottom of the Premier League, you've been docked nine points and the ball bobbles over your goalkeeper's foot, even faithful support counts for nothing.

My son Kriss and I made the journey down the A3 more in hope than in expectation - though the boy did put a fiver on Portsmouth at 33-1 to beat the title-chasing Blues 2-1.

Instead it was a midly depressing high five for Chelsea. Their former boss Avram Grant, who took the club to within a John Terry penalty of success in Europe a couple of years ago, could not rouse his financially-troubled club to the same level as the billionaires from Stamford Bridge.

Afterwards Chelsea boss Carlo Ancelotti talked about "a good performance" and suggested his side's slump was over.

But of course, last night was no indication of footballing superiority or form. Manchester United remain favourites for the Premier League title, Arsenal and Chelsea are likely to scrap it out for second and third, though it will be tight.

No, last night was about money. About the reckless spending which went on at dear old Fratton Park under a succession of fly-by-night owners and a chief executive who couldn't say no.

Some might suggest it all started to go wrong when David James, England's 39-year-old World Cup hopeful, swung a foot and missed the ball as it bobbled outside his area, allowing Drogba to stroll through and score the first.

Goals two, three, four and five followed in the second half as Drogba doubled his tally, the in-form Florent Malouda added a brace of his own and Frank Lampard headed past a quagmired James.

The fans blamed the referee, Malouda's flying elbow, perhaps even the unfortunate lump of turf just outside the box.

But in truth, their season - apart from the FA Cup semi-final against Spurs (they beat Fulham 3-1 in their quarter-final replay last night) - is over. And performances like last night won't help their cup hopes.

In truth, the Portsmouth fans turned out to just about fill their quaint 20,000-capacity stadium to mark the end of an era. Glittering Premier League stars and exotic international footballers won't be travelling down the A3 for much longer. They may not be down on the south coast for some time judging by the current positions of Portsmouth and arch-rivals Southampton.

And the great injustice is this: a proud heritage dating back to the 1890s has been ruined not by a lack of footballing nouse but by a chronic breakdown in financial accounting.

Ironically, on the day Labour produced the final budget of their topsy-turvy reign, Portsmouth were on hand to show just how a financially mismanaged organisation can collapse into chaos.

And make no mistake, chaos awaits. The fire-sale allowed by the Premier League yesterday will see their best players leave outside the transfer window.

At the end of the season, the foreign journeymen will leave in their droves, Grant won't be taken for Granted and the club will be left bereft.

And Pompey, proud Pompey with their chimes, will struggle to put together a squad capable of surviving in the Championship, let alone surge straight back into the Premier League.

Something has to be wrong somewhere.

Vettel leads the way into the first Grand Prix, Chelsea on top of the Hammers and England uninspired at Murrayfield

WASN'T going to blog today. I'm in the beautiful Latimer Place Hotel. It's only about five miles from my home, but you forget how beautiful your surroundings are sometimes. It's an historic manor house, used to be owned by Lord Chesham.
In the middle of Latimer village there's a Boer War memorial to the locals killed at places like Paardeburg and Diamond Hill - one Lord Chesham died near Pretoria aged 21. The local church has tributes to him plastered all over the graveyard and the walls. Not much mention of the ordinary folk. Just his Lordship and a few of his nurses.
The place was run by the army during the war. They pretended it was a supply depot, but the beautiful old house was actually an interrogation centre... apparently they used to torture German and Italian officers here, 20 miles from London. This is where they found out about the V2 missile which threatened to turn things Hitler's way in 1944. No sign of any ghosts last night, but it's strange to think what used to happen within these ancient walls.
Now it's a beautiful hotel with rolling grasslands down to the River Chess, filled to the brim with trout. Beautiful. We're pictured above in front of "Neptune Falls", a weir with steps built-in to help the trout climb against the flow.
So why am I blogging? Because Red Bull's Sebastian Vettel sneaked in ahead of the two Ferraris to take the first pole position of the Grand Prix season in Bahrain, leaving the all-British McLaren's of Lewis Hamilton and Jenson Button in his wake? Michael Schumacher starts from seventh, by the way.
Because Didier Drogba scored two more to help Chelsea see off West Ham 4-1?
Nope. Sorry. It's because of England's peformance against Scotland at Murrayfield. Earlier we saw Ireland surge past Wales at Croke Park to keep the Six Nations championship alive with a superb display of running rugby.
But to deny France, who play lowly Italy tomorrow, Martin Johnson's England had to keep winning. And upset the French in their final encounter.
It ain't going to happen. England are dreadful. Their 15-15 draw against an uninspired Scotland was typical of life in the Johnson era. No imagination, no flair, no energy. Just a big bloody boot. Though the disgraceful Scots booed Johnny Wilkinson in mid-penalty and cheered when he went off injured in the second half after scoring all of England's 12 points, nothing can disguise the inept nature of Johnson's leadership.
A World Cup-winning captain he may have been, but he never coached at club level and was fast-tracked into the England job when Brian Ashton was deemed insufficient despite getting England to a World Cup final in 2007.
Poor old Toby Flood ended up having to kick once Wilko had been nobbled. He missed a 58th minute penalty which would have put England 15-12 up. In the end he had to wait for another awfully scrappy surge which fell apart once the backs had messed it up. A far closer penalty saw Flood make give England the three point advantage.
With 12 minutes to go Dan Parks, born in Hornsby (that's in Australia, not Scotland), hit a post with a penalty then got a second chance, closer in, to level the scores and take his tally to 15 out of 15.
Then, with four minutes to play, Flood again. From 48 metres. He fell a yard short. Agony. A late drop goal attempt... and again Flood failed. But a game like this, full of aimless kicking and poor handling, didn't deserve a winner.
There's no question England were the better side. They certainly tried to play a bit when Wilko went off. But as the whistle went for an appalling 15-15 draw without a try in sight, the pens were being sharpened. MARTIN JOHNSON MUST GO will be written in bloody bold tomorrow.

Vettel leads the way into the first Grand Prix, Chelsea on top of the Hammers and England uninspired at Murrayfield

WASN'T going to blog today. I'm in the beautiful Latimer Place Hotel. It's only about five miles from my home, but you forget how beautiful your surroundings are sometimes. It's an historic manor house, used to be owned by Lord Chesham.
In the middle of Latimer village there's a Boer War memorial to the locals killed at places like Paardeburg and Diamond Hill - one Lord Chesham died near Pretoria aged 21. The local church has tributes to him plastered all over the graveyard and the walls. Not much mention of the ordinary folk. Just his Lordship and a few of his nurses.
The place was run by the army during the war. They pretended it was a supply depot, but the beautiful old house was actually an interrogation centre... apparently they used to torture German and Italian officers here, 20 miles from London. This is where they found out about the V2 missile which threatened to turn things Hitler's way in 1944. No sign of any ghosts last night, but it's strange to think what used to happen within these ancient walls.
Now it's a beautiful hotel with rolling grasslands down to the River Chess, filled to the brim with trout. Beautiful. We're pictured above in front of "Neptune Falls", a weir with steps built-in to help the trout climb against the flow.
So why am I blogging? Because Red Bull's Sebastian Vettel sneaked in ahead of the two Ferraris to take the first pole position of the Grand Prix season in Bahrain, leaving the all-British McLaren's of Lewis Hamilton and Jenson Button in his wake? Michael Schumacher starts from seventh, by the way.
Because Didier Drogba scored two more to help Chelsea see off West Ham 4-1?
Nope. Sorry. It's because of England's peformance against Scotland at Murrayfield. Earlier we saw Ireland surge past Wales at Croke Park to keep the Six Nations championship alive with a superb display of running rugby.
But to deny France, who play lowly Italy tomorrow, Martin Johnson's England had to keep winning. And upset the French in their final encounter.
It ain't going to happen. England are dreadful. Their 15-15 draw against an uninspired Scotland was typical of life in the Johnson era. No imagination, no flair, no energy. Just a big bloody boot. Though the disgraceful Scots booed Johnny Wilkinson in mid-penalty and cheered when he went off injured in the second half after scoring all of England's 12 points, nothing can disguise the inept nature of Johnson's leadership.
A World Cup-winning captain he may have been, but he never coached at club level and was fast-tracked into the England job when Brian Ashton was deemed insufficient despite getting England to a World Cup final in 2007.
Poor old Toby Flood ended up having to kick once Wilko had been nobbled. He missed a 58th minute penalty which would have put England 15-12 up. In the end he had to wait for another awfully scrappy surge which fell apart once the backs had messed it up. A far closer penalty saw Flood make give England the three point advantage.
With 12 minutes to go Dan Parks, born in Hornsby (that's in Australia, not Scotland), hit a post with a penalty then got a second chance, closer in, to level the scores and take his tally to 15 out of 15.
Then, with four minutes to play, Flood again. From 48 metres. He fell a yard short. Agony. A late drop goal attempt... and again Flood failed. But a game like this, full of aimless kicking and poor handling, didn't deserve a winner.
There's no question England were the better side. They certainly tried to play a bit when Wilko went off. But as the whistle went for an appalling 15-15 draw without a try in sight, the pens were being sharpened. MARTIN JOHNSON MUST GO will be written in bloody bold tomorrow.

Terry refuses to buckle as Drogba takes Arsenal apart once more

IT took just seven minutes of Chelsea's 2-0 win over Arsenal at Stamford Bridge today for John Terry to prove the point I've been making all week. Under incredible pressure, the axed England captain can produce the goods on the field. It matters not that he is the subject of continuing media speculation, that he gets booed at every touch, that he has been publicly humiliated this week.

At Chelsea today, it was his towering header over Arsenal's otherwise impressive Alex Song which set up the opening goal for Didier Drogba, the Ivory Coast striker who loves to score against the Gunners.

That's why Fabio Capello's decision to axe Terry before the World Cup is flawed. Okay, we all understand the reasons for it - the relationship with Wayne Bridge's former partner was always going to be a problem - and the Italian has proved he is omnipotent in the England camp.

But you won't find a better man than Terry to lead the World Cup campaign this summer. His morals can be questioned and even on £150,000 a week his bank balance may be under pressure, but the man is a mountain on the field.

So too is Drogba of course. He scored his second after 22 minutes when Frank Lampard set him free on the breakaway. The Drog had plenty of work to do from there, but he went past two and smashed it in with his left foot. 2-0. End of story. There was once a time when a man called Nwanko Kanu from Nigeria scored a hat-trick to help Arsenal to a 3-2 win over the Blues in October 1999.

But Chelsea haven't thrown away a 2-0 lead since then and certainly these Blues didn't let it slip.

Expensively constructed, well led by Carlo Ancelotti (who has stuck by Terry), they will remain Manchester United's only true rivals for Premier League supremacy.

And Arsenal, despite having most of the possession in the second half, revert to their customary position under the miserly Arsene Wenger. Well run, economically put together, but not real contenders.

Five years without silverware will soon become six. Third place may be defended despite pressure from Liverpool, Tottenham, Manchester City and Aston Villa.

But for Arsenal fans, these last two Sundays, featuring emphatic defeats at the hands of United and Chelsea, have been hard to swallow. Sure, today was better than the 3-1 defeat at home to Sir Alex Ferguson last week, but how many times must we sit hear saying: "Arsenal were the better side but they didn't win, they don't have the firepower."

Without a genuine striker or a world class goalkeeper, Wenger continues to stick to his spending plans, if spending nothing can be called a plan.

And he does well to keep them in the Champions League shake-up year after year with players like the ineffective Denilson, dropped today, playing a major role.

But there will come a time when Arsenal fans want more. When they want something in the trophy cabinet. Much like England fans really.

And whatever you might think of John Terry's personal life, did you see him make a mistake at the back today?

Out-powered. Out-classed. For Arsenal, the war is over

SO that's it for another season, Gooners. The Premier League trophy will have to wait for yet another year. After Arsenal 0, Chelsea 3 today, the Blues are 11 points clear of their north London rivals. And that gap is not going to narrow on the evidence of yesterday's showdown.

As Jamie Redknapp said: "Out-powered, out-classed. Chelsea were on another level to Arsenal."

He's right of course. I saw Nigel Winterburn yesterday trying to think of Arsenal players who would get in the Chelsea team. Eduardo and Andrei Arshavin wouldn't have a hope against Didier Drogba, who scored two yesterday, and former Gunner Nicolas Anelka, who simply cut his old side apart. The injured Robin van Persie is hardly in that class either.

Winterburn suggested Thomas Vermaelen, who contributed an own goal yesterday, but given the dominance of John Terry and Ricardo Carvalho, I can't see a place for the Verminator either.

And in the middle of the park, Michael Essien, Frank Lampard, Michael Ballack and Co are hardly going to be threatened by lightweights like Alex Song, taken off at half-time, and Denilson. Men against boys.

Typically, Arsenal played their pretty football. But despite the imploring Emirates crowd, the shots never came. In front of goal, the loss of Emmanuel Adebayor remains glaring. Wenger's moth-filled wallet should have creaked open for a new striker when the Togo international went to Manchester City, but it never happened.

And the one real chance, where Arshavin scored at 2-0 down in the second half, was righly ruled out for Eduardo's high foot, which took the ball out of Petr Cech's hands.

Drogba, who now boasts ten goals in nine games against Arsenal, said: "I like to play against them. They used to be the team everyone in France supported. I really like a win like this. I was pointing at my right boot as I came off to show the red laces, my part in the campaign against AIDS.

"Last season we showed we could be champions but we lost a lot of points at home. This season, we don't give the opposition any chances. We have more confidence, it's easier."

John Terry said: "Once again, we soaked it up. Going forward, we were exceptional. Our midfielders were going through the middle of them. We have to stay together now. You can see people throwing their bodies in front of balls. Fighting for eachother."

Carlo Ancelotti certainly seems to have his team playing for eachother, a trick Jose Mourinho managed but Avram Grant, Phil Scolari and Guus Hiddink couldn't quite match.

Ancelotti, five points clear at the top, said: "Today in defence we were fantastic. Offensively we could do better, sometimes we lost the ball. We have to stay at the training ground."

Sure, Manchester United shrugged off Portsmouth yesterday with a Wayne Rooney hat-trick - and didn't Ryan Giggs do well - but Chelsea are different gravy.

Of more imporance in north London? Fourth place. Spurs are third at the moment at look like they might stay there after their 1-1 draw against Aston Villa. Fifth-placed Liverpool saw off Everton 2-0 to win the Merseyside derby and start putting pressure on Arsenal.

And Wenger has to accept, as the seats at the Emirates emptied long before the finish, Arsenal fans fear years of under-investment could finally see the Gunners slip out of the top four.

Wenger, whose pledge to end the five-year trophy drought is looking a little hollow, said: "The first part of the game was all us. Their first shot of the game went in. We find ourselves 2-0 down at half-time and it's difficult. We were very unfortunate to be like that a half-time.

"I watched the decision on the goal we scored five times, I still don't understand it. It was their player who had a foot up (as he said that, the television replay showed Eduardo kicking the ball out of Petr Cech's hands before Arshavin's fine finish). We had plenty opportunites where, with a better first touch and more belief, we could score.

"We have nothing to be ashamed of. It all went Chelsea's way today. I was not specially impressed with what happened on the pitch but they took their chances well. We're not in the title race right now but it's up to us to come back into it."

And Arsenal fans everywhere held their head in their hands.