CHAMPIONS DETHRONED: Did a simple lack of Knowledge bring down Kaizer Chiefs?

Double trouble: Chiefs coach Stuart Baxter

ON THE RIGHT TRACKS: Kaizer Chiefs
looked unbeatable two months ago

Kaizer Chiefs fans, you are not alone. Just like the reigning champions in Spain and England, South Africa’s mighty AmaKhosi are left asking: “Where did it all go wrong?”

Uniquely, while FC Barcelona and Manchester United can blame the loss of their crowns on managerial changes, Kaizer Chiefs retained Stuart Baxter – the first foreign coach ever to win South Africa’s domestic championship in his first season – but still failed to reach the double-winning heights of last season.

Like Barca without Pep (and the late Tito) or United without Fergie, Kaizer Chiefs have finished out of the running (barring miracles), ending a potless season scratching their heads while their rivals compete for Champions League and domestic trophies.

Ironically, for the latter part of Saturday’s morale-busting penalty shoot-out defeat in the Nedbank Cup semi-final at Wits University, we actually saw a little of the old Chiefs panache.

Gavin Hunt’s men were outplayed for most of the extra-time period, before Moeneeb Josephs superb opening save in the shoot-out sent them surging through on penalties.

And just to really rub salt in the wounds, Soweto rivals Orlando Pirates then saw off Steve Komphela’s unfashionable Maritzburg United 2-1 to reach their FOURTH final of the season on May 17 at the mighty Moses Mabhida Stadium in Durban.

DERAILED: The Chiefs express is in trouble

Suddenly, after a season which has seen the vast AmaKhosi clan laughing at the Buccaneers as they switched coaches and struggled to win their games in hand, it’s Pirates who look like the more successful club this season. Four finals is a record not to be sniffed out. The MTN8, Telkom KO and African Champions League bring rich rewards despite last-hurdle defeats … and even if they lose all four and go down to Wits in the Nedbank final, rather four cup finals than NONE.

All of which leaves Stuart Baxter – and the Motaung family – pulling their collective hair out. Two months ago, Chiefs were nailed on for the PSL title, unbeaten from November 5 and NEVER beaten at home under their Wolverhampton-born boss.

And now we come to the crucial question: Where did it all go wrong? Was it that first ever home defeat against Allan Freese’s Platinum Stars, who have barely won a game since?

Or how about the trip to DR Congo when, without television coverage or a single South African football reporter to witness it, they went down 3-0 to AS Vita as the Champions League train was firmly derailed?

Or perhaps it was Bernard Parker’s ankle. He’s played with strapping since early in the year – but the PSL’s top goal-scorer (with a measly 10) has failed to add to his tally since February despite starting throughout the run-in.

But no, in essence, it was none of these things. The real damage was done by the injury to another ankle. When Knowledge Musona began to struggle, so did Chiefs. Musona, still haggling with Bundesliga club Hoffenheim over his loan deal at Naturena, scored the Champions League hat-trick in Mozambique, he produced the goals which kept the four-month unbeaten streak going, and in truth (with 15 goals in all competitions) he was always the Chiefs spearhead.

And just as we joked about “Knowledge is power” and “a little bit of Knowledge is a dangerous thing” so we found that, without Knowledge Chiefs couldn’t overcome the Clever Boys when it mattered.

Baxter tried manfully to manage the grinding disappointment of semi-final failure. He said: “Penalties it is what it is; it is a very, very fine line. I must just say congratulations to Gavin Hunt and his boys and I wish them all the best in the final.”

But he was unable to summon the tears which accompanied Pitso Mosimane’s post-match display when champions-elect crashed out of the Nedbank Cup.

He tried to explain the pressure, the drain of the African Champions League: “We have done what we can in very trying circumstances and no-one has complained. We’ve gone on with it. I don’t know if anyone reflects on it, but those last 15 minutes today were more than I could have asked for.

“And going to extra-time is not what you want. If anybody says these players have let anybody down, they don't know anything about football.”

It’s strong stuff that, from a man who questioned his role at a club where the fans were booing Kingston Nkhatha even when Chiefs were top of the League.

Of course, things could yet turn around for Kaizer Chiefs (and Barcelona) with SuperSport United coach Cavin Johnson insisting his side will give their all against Masandawana tomorrow night. But it's highly unlikely.

Predictably, in the darker realms of the social networks, there are those calling for “Baxter out” just as Manchester United and Barcelona supporters reacted to their disappointments this season.

But that would be a mistake. Baxter can recover from this slump, this shocking failure (barring a miracle) to defend the trophies he won last year. But to do that, he’ll need a little bit more Knowledge.

BOLLOCKZ! my innovative football show on www.ballz.co.za airs every Thursday from 9am-11am. See Ballz' channel for our growing library of fascinating football interviews with the big names. 

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news and read my “Neal and Pray” column every Tuesday in www.thenewage.co.za.

BOLLOCKZ! is backed by www.topodds.com - have a look at their site for my latest sports betting advice.

Squeaky bottom time in South Africa, Britain and Spain: the vital fixtures that could shape the season this weekend

Repeat performance? Stuart Baxter last season

IT'S going down to the wire. A tired footballing cliche, I know, but not one they're throwing about in Germany and Scotland right now.

While the Bundesliga and Scottish Premier were settled weeks ago, Spanish, British and South African football followers are just hitting crunch time - with three sides in the running in La Liga, the Premier League and the PSL.

South Africa's battle between Mamelodi Sundowns and champions Kaizer Chiefs could yet prove to be the closest of all, with the title decided on goal difference, as it was in 2011 when Orlando Pirates pipped Ajax Cape Town to secure their first treble.


Last night, just before Gareth Bale's sensational winner for Real Madrid in the El Clasico Copa Del Ray final against wilting Barcelona, Mzanzi's top three all cleared significant hurdles to stay in the running for the 2014 South African crown.


At Loftus, Sundowns could only carve out a 1-0 win over Clive Barker's in-form Mpumalanga Black Aces thanks to an early goal from Mozambiquan star Elias Pelembe. Afterwards Pitso Mosimane, now realistically set to become the first black South African coach to win the PSL, was far from tears.

He grinned: "I know some people will accuse me off being too defensive, but this was not a night for a second goal. Three points is all that mattered. And we've got our three points."

At the Peter Mokabe Stadium, Polokwane City - not easily beaten up north - were eventually beaten 2-0 by George. Well two Georges. First Lebese added to the two late Nedbank Cup goals he scored over the weekend, then Maluleke produced the killer goal. Talking of killers: Katlego Mphela came on for Bernard Parker, but neither lived up to their reputations.

Worse, when Knowledge Musona came on as a sub late in the game, it looked like his dodgy ankle went with his first real thrust at goal. Stuart Baxter appeared afterwards to say: "We've got to be happy with three points, it's such a schedule like nowhere else.

"I'm trying to put out a competitive squad for CAF, that's why we rotated some of the players tonight. The PSL could go down to goal difference, but what can you do? If our competitors win 7-0 for the rest of the season, I'll be the first to congratulate them!"


And quietly, Bidvest Wits produced two late goals against Moroka Swallows to secure a last-gasp 2-1 win which leaves the Clever Boys in the Hunt. Gavin Hunt that is. With one game in hand on Chiefs and two on Sundowns, his men are realistically TWO POINTS adrift in the title race and they've got to play the AmaKhosi.


With Chiefs and Sundowns level on goal difference at +22, it's the remaining fixtures which now become the subject of some debate. And the major problem? Chiefs have those two CAF Confed Cup games against Asec Mimosa (at Dobsonville on Saturday and at the Stade Robert Champroux in Abidjan on April 27) to worry about.

And the AmaKhosi are also in to the last four of the Nedbank Cup, with Wits of all people to come on May 3.  Sundowns have neither CAF nor the Nedbank Cup to worry about after their quarter-final defeat against Orlando Pirates.


That means Masanadawana have THREE to play: Swallows away on Saturday; SuperSport United at home on April 26 and Maritzburg away on May 10.

Chiefs have FOUR to come: the big one against Wits on April 23, Amatuks away on April 26 (has to be re-scheduled because of CAF); relegation threatened Free State Stars on April 30 and Amazulu at home on the final day of the season, May 10.


Last season Chiefs won the League with 57 points. Orlando Pirates did it with 58 in 2012. Already Sundowns have 55 points. They might need 64 to confirm it. And that would be a new PSL record.


FULL LIST OF PSL WINNERS AND POINTS TALLIES

2002-2003: Orlando Pirates 61, Supersport United 55

2003-2004: Kaizer Chiefs 63 (highest), Ajax Cape Town 57

2004-2005: Kaizer Chiefs 62, Orlando Pirates 60

2005-2006: Mamelodi Sundowns 57, Orlando Pirates 54

2006-2007: Mamelodi Sundowns 61, Silver Stars 51

2007-2008: SuperSport United 54 (lowest), Ajax Cape Town 52

2008-2009: SuperSport United 55, Orlando Pirates 55

2009-2010: SuperSport United 57, Mamelodi Sundowns 56

2010-2011: Orlando Pirates 60, Ajax Cape Town 60

2011-2012: Orlando Pirates 58, Moroka Swallows 56

2012-2013: Kaizer Chiefs 57, Platinum Stars 56


Vital games in La Liga this weekend:

FRIDAY: ATLETICO MADRID v Elche 8.30pm CAT

SATURDAY: REAL MADRID v Osasuna, 8pm CAT

SUNDAY: Villarreal v BARCELONA, 9pm CAT

After last night's Copa Del Ray win, Real Madrid and Barcelona have to maintain the pace at Diego Simeone's shock troops Atleti remain a win clear in the title race. All three are expected to win this weekend, but that's what they said before Granada 1-0 Barcelona last week!


Vital games in Premier League this weekend:

SATURDAY: CHELSEA v Sunderland 6.30pm CAT

SUNDAY: Norwich v LIVERPOOL 1pm CAT

MONDAY: MANCHESTER CITY v West Brom 9pm CAT

Man City were held 2-2 by Sunderland last night, and they were lucky to bet a point at home with Samir Nasri's late equaliser vital. It's a result that further strengthens Liverpool's grip on their first EVER Premier League crown. Assuming the top three all win this weekend, it's Chelsea at Liverpool next week which will be crucial.



Vital games in PSL this weekend:

SATURDAY: SuperSport United v WITS 3pm CAT

SUNDAY: Moroka Swallows v MAMELODI SUNDOWNS 6pm CAT

With champions Kaizer Chiefs on CAF Confed Cup duty, Sundowns have the chance to move SIX points ahead at the top of the PSL - and improve their goal difference against the low-flying SwaiSwai. Victory for Wits would put them within TWO POINTS of Chiefs. Definitely still in the HUNT.

Thulani Serero: putting Barcelona ahead of Botswana... and upsetting a lot of people

Going Dutch: Serero and Ajax Amsterdam boss Frank De Boer

Next Wednesday night Thulani Serero, a 23-year-old Sowetan with useful feet, is due to play at the Nou Camp for Ajax Amsterdam in their opening Champions League showdown against mighty Barcelona in front of a capacity crowd of 99,786 people.

Last Saturday, the man from Mapetla was due to play for South Africa against Botswana at the Moses Mabhida stadium in a 4-1 win (rendered meaningless when Ethiopia beat the Central African Republic 2-1 to finish top of CAF World Cup qualifying Group A).

Bafana Bafana head coach Gordon Igesund didn’t see it as a choice. Like any international manager he assumed Serero would be ready and able to play for both country and club after a R60,000 business class flight to King Shaka airport.

It is now common knowledge that Serero claimed he had “tight muscles” and could not play for his country 48 hours before kick-off. After establishing the 2011 PSL Player of the Year was fully fit, Igesund had him removed from the team hotel and a SAFA disciplinary hearing is likely to follow his report on the incident.

But that is only the tip of the Thulani iceberg. In a series of phone calls with various members of the squad, I can reveal:

1 Serero was reluctant to play for Bafana during AFCON in January, when he also claimed to be unfit despite a clean bill of health.

2 The youngster upset senior Bafana players by telling them on the team bus: “When South Africa needs to win, they call me”.

3 Serero refused to “warm down” in the swimming pool with the rest of the squad, telling the squad’s fitness coach: “I don’t do water”.

4 He told the Bafana medical team he was not fit to play but didn’t want to be publicly declared injured as it would have ruined his chances of playing at the Nou Camp.

5 Serero told journalists he was not in the starting line-up and was “tired of travelling for meaningless games in Africa”.

Igesund vehemently denied the last point, insisting: “I swear on my son’s life, Serero was IN my starting line-up. I told him that last Thursday. The rest of my team hadn’t even been picked by then.

“And even if he was on the bench, how do you think that sounds to people like Kagiso Dikgachoi, who is playing for Crystal Palace in the English Premier League, and Dean Furman who was struggled to get back in the Doncaster team since he came to play for us against Nigeria?

“Nobody is bigger than his country. I am the Bafana head coach Neal, I have to do what’s best for the nation. Serero’s behaviour was completely unacceptable. I was livid, I tell you.”

Though Serero has returned to the Netherlands without comment, the story rumbles on – with Igesund running the risk of huge criticism if the ousted South African plays a starring role for Ajax in the Champions League.

Igesund refuses to back down. His full explanation of events goes like this: “On Thursday I had already informed Thulani that he had been excellent at training, he’s performing well and I need him to take it to the next step. I know the kind of guy he is, and I wanted him to be ready to produce his best for South Africa for the first time.

“I said to him everyone in this country knows he plays in Holland and I asked him to show the people in this country what kind of a player he is. I told him, and this is the truth, that I was going to start him on Saturday and that I wanted him to start expressing himself.

“He trained on Thursday and he then went to my team doctor to tell him he’s got a tight muscle in his thigh/groin area. The doctor checked him out and said he is okay, no groin injury.

“The doctor had six or seven players in the team with tight muscles. He still trained and again he was the outstanding player, there was no problem with his movement.

“On Friday, our assistant coach Serame Letsoake came to me and he said Thulani had approached him to tell him he doesn’t want to play. I was quite shocked so I called Thulani, my doctor and Serame to a meeting in my room. I asked Thulani, ‘Are you injured’? He said, ‘I have a tight muscle and I’m scared I might injure myself’. So I said, ‘Thulani, you got to work with me here son. You know I want you in the team and now you say you don’t want to play’.

“The doctor was there and I asked him, ‘I want to know has Thulani got a slight injury?’ The doctor said he doesn’t have an injury and he’s got a tight muscle. When the doctor tells you that, he isn’t making it up. He’s a doctor for God’s sake.

“It turns out Thulani told the doctor that he doesn’t want to play because he’s got a big game in Holland next week. Of course I was annoyed - why did he even fly to Durban?

“Serero seems to have developed a big head, like he’s better than all the other players here. I had called the Ajax coach Frank de Boer and he said Serero needed game time.

 “I don’t know what went wrong. He flew business class that cost R60 000 to fly over here with the intention of not playing. The truth of the matter is that Thulani Serero turned his back on us because he wants to play in the Champions League. That is insulting in my opinion.

“I was very surprised.  There was no patriotism, I couldn’t take that, especially when I have a bunch of players who really want to pull on that Bafana jersey.”

Igesund had the player removed from the team hotel though he pointed out: “Serero was given the privilege of staying at the hotel next door and was offered meals and a lift to the airport.”

The story doesn’t end there. Igesund says: “I don’t like to make hasty decisions but Serero will have to face a disciplinary hearing after a write my report for SAFA. Do you really think I would have done all this without a good reason?

“I honestly believe I’ve done my job. I made the decision. I stand by it. I’ve done what’s right for the team and for the country. Some might say it harsh, but you’ve got to face up to your responsibility."

Like just about every other football journalist in South Africa, attempts to talk to Serero and the man who took him to Holland, Mike Ntombela, are proving fruitless.

My fear is this: If Thulani Serero produces a magical performance against Barcelona on the 18^th, or if he stars throughout the tournament in a group which also includes AC Milan and Celtic, then what?

It’s one thing to overlook foreign-based South Africans who don’t appear on our televisions very often. It’s another to have burned your bridges with a man who could become South Africa’s premier footballer over the next couple of months.

And we all know what happened with Everton’s Stevie Pienaar when he felt he wasn’t sufficiently valued by Bafana Bafana. Can we really afford to push a second world class footballer in to the international wilderness?

Igesund’s closing statement is telling: “In life, there are decisions to be made. Serero is 23 and playing for a very big club in Holland, and if he is talking about retirement then he has to make his choices in life. You live and die by the choices you make. If he wants to put his club first, like Stevie did, I will never victimise him in any way.”

I will make every effort to get Thulani Serero on BOLLOCKZ! my show on www.ballz.co.za this week, it airs every Thursday from 10am-noon. 

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news… and read my “Neal & Pray” column every Tuesday inwww.thenewage.co.za. 

BOLLOCKZ! is backed by www.topodds.com - have a look at their site for my latest sports betting advice!

Looking back on 2012 with Jeff Maloi: and hoping for glory at AFCON 2013!

Talking to Jeff Maloi this morning, summing up South Africa's troubled 2012 and our hope for Gordon Igesund's Bafana Bafana at AFCON2013... plus a bit of Lionel Messi! You can get eNCAnews on DSTV channel 403 or Sky 518

The picture that shames South Africa: Johan Neeskens attacked but carries on

In fear of his life: Tiyana's picture of Neeskens yesterday

JOHAN NEESKENS is 61. He played in two World Cup finals for Holland four decades ago. He is the one name in South African football guaranteed to garner global attention.

And yesterday, unruly Mamelodi Sundowns fans decided it would be a good idea to attack their Dutch coach when the bumbling Brazilians went down 2-0 to high-flying Moroka Swallows at Dobsonville.

Poor security – and a paucity of policemen – saw Sundowns fans hit Neeskens with vuvuzelas, leaving him cowering in the tunnel. As a passionate supporter of the plastic horn, I was assured by everyone during the World Cup in 2010 that the vuvuzela would NEVER be used as a weapon. How wrong we were.

Tiyani wa ka Mabasa from kickoff.com snapped pictures of the incident before Neeskens was ushered away and locked in the dressing room. He emerged battered but unbowed and said: “I am frustrated and so are the fans, but it’s normal in football. Its for the club, its for the players, its for myself, but I can handle the pressure and we have to keep working hard and we have to come out of this.”

 “I am not a quitter, I want to continue to fight, but I can’t do it alone. We need to work together.”

Where many might have taken a riot squad Nyala direct to Oliver Tambo international airport, Neeskens was philosophical: “It’s okay if another coach is coming, it’s up to the board of Sundowns to decide if I will stay or not. The players also need to start to take responsibility on the field.”

Brave words. Words which reinforce the view that the Dutchman, capped 49 times by the Oranje, is no run-of-the-mill second-class European import. When he guided Holland to the World Cup final in Germany, 1974 and Argentina four years later, he was hailed as one of the greats, second only to the great Cruyff.

He won the European Cup with Ajax in 1971 and moved with “the other Johan” to Barcelona in 1974 where further honours awaited. A goal-scoring midfielder popular with fans wherever he went, Neeskens scored 111 goals in his professional career – 17 of them for Holland.

At the tail-end of his career in 1979, Neeskens moved to New York Cosmos, where he met a certain Jomo Sono. He recalls: “Jomo played a year with me there and I thought he was a very good player. A very attacking, skilful player who took players on, and he was also popular in the USA."

Neeskens was still playing professionally aged 40 in Switzerland with FC Zug in 1991 before he embarked on a career in coaching.

Neeskens has never hit any great heights as a head coach. He has spent most of his post-playing career an assistant - to Guus Hiddink with the Netherlands and Australia and Frank Rijkaard at Barcelona.

His only stint as a No1 before his appointment at Chloorkop was at  NEC Nijmegen in 2003. He led the Ere Divisie club to their first European appearance in twenty years in 2003, but was fired in 2004.

Sundowns was never going to be easy. Neeskens found himself backed by a technical team which included big characters like Trott Moloto and Daniel “Mambush” Mudau. People who felt they knew better than a Dutchman in Africa.

It’s true the Brazilians have had a poor start to the new season. Without a win in seven games after their astonishing season-opening MTN8 4-1 trouncing of Kaizer Chiefs, Neeskens appears unable to halt the slump -  just as he did when Sundowns let slip a seven-point lead at the top of the PSL after the winter break last season.

But that is no reason to break down fences. No cause to chant the name of Pitso Mosimane, who left Bafana Bafana with little to recommend him earlier this year. And it’s definitely not worth battering a much-respected footballing legend with a vuvuzela.

I spoke to Sundowns PRO Kabelo Mosito on eTV’s Sunrise show yesterday morning. He talked about holding a fan meetings to explain such behaviour is unacceptable. I told him I’d like the video tapes sent to the police for examination, that I’d like to see the guilty fans banned for life from watching their beloved Brazilians. That’s how it SHOULD work.

A month ago, after watching fans invade the pitch and tunnel area after Orlando Pirates lost to SuperSport United 3-0 in the MTN8 semi-final, I called for action to be taken.

Irvin Khoza, chairman of the Buccaneers who doubles as PSL boss, chose to charge his own Ghost and the rival Amakhosi for an earlier bout of bottle throwing. But the promised disciplinary action was postponed on the morning of South Africa’s win over Mozambique earlier this month.

Today, acting PSL CEO Cambridge Mokanyane said: "We condemn this kind of behaviour in the strongest possible terms. What we saw at Dobsonville Stadium is completely unacceptable and cannot be tolerated.

"This faction of supporters is letting our football down; their actions are damaging the image of a product which has a reputable name around the world.

"We will not allow this kind of behaviour at our stadiums. The safety and security of both the players and the fans is our priority."

But after four incidents, the escalating violence in South African football WILL now attract international interest. And that can’t be good for anyone as Sundowns prepare to play Platinum Stars at the Lucas "Masterpieces" Moripe Stadium in Atteridgeville on Sunday night. We can only pray Msandawana end their miserable run of form.

You can read earlier version of this story as my Neal and Pray column in The New Age tomorrow. www.thenewage.co.za.

Tell the missus Saturday night's sorted: It's Messi v Ronaldo. One day you'll tell the grandchildren about them.

All-white chalk & red-and-blue cheese

Right, drop whatever it is you’re doing Saturday night. Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo are on the box. Together. The Flea and CR7. Our goalden gods of the electronic age. The miracle workers of our times. One day, circa 2032, we will be able to look back and tell our grand-children: I was alive and spellbound when those two were ripping up record books.

Apparently impervious to injury or exhaustion, they are red-and-blue cheese and all-white-on-the-night chalk: one a tiny Argentine with twinkling toes who needed growth hormone therapy to reach 1.69m (5ft 7in), the other a Portuguese colossus, 1.86m (6ft 1in), and capable of sheer perfection.

They have dominated the best league in the world for three years, two foreigners inspiring a football-fuelled nation which currently boasts both the World Cup and European Championship. Though Messi and Barcelona have had the edge, Ronaldo and Real Madrid are threatening an astonishing comeback this season.

On Tuesday night, CR7 and Real went to Bayern Munich in their Champions League semi-final first leg. Jose Mourinho’s men lost 2-1 to a late Mario Gomez strike but that Mesut Ozil away goal – made by Ronaldo - should see them safely through to the final with the second leg at the Bernebeu.

On Wednesday, Messi and Barca lost 1-0 at Chelsea – for once the Flea, though dangerous, failed to score as the Spaniards hit the woodwork twice and succumbed to an oft-inspired but oft-tumbling Didier Drogba. You still wouldn’t bet against an All-Spanish final in Munich come May.

The fact that neither Messi nor Ronaldo managed a goal this week has been widely highlighted. But their unexpected blanks will only serve to heighten expectation on Saturday night at the Nou Camp, when the Spanish giants meet in the long-awaited El Clasico.

It’s a showdown which will surely decide the destination of La Liga, with Real a precious but precarious four points ahead in the bitter battle between southern Catalan and central Castillian, two nations in one. Three if you include the northern Basques.

The battle between them holds such irony. Messi has on the Ballon D’Or as the world’s best for three years on the trot, but we all know Ronaldo is only a shade adrift since he won it in 2008; he’d be head-and-shoulders better than the rest – Iniesta, Gomez, Van Persie, Robben – if Barca hadn’t spotted an undersized 13-year-old with magic feet a decade ago.

The truth is, there has simply NEVER been anything like these two in the 150-year history of professional football. You can throw up some names. Dixie Dean, who scored 63 goals in a season for Everton just after they changed the off-side rule in 1927-28. Ferenc Deak who scored 66 goals for Hungary's Ferencvaros in 1948-49. Or the great Pele, who equalled that for Santos in 1958. And how about Der Bomber? Germany’s Gerd Muller struck 67 for Bayern Munich in 1972-73.

You can forget those records now. Messi, still only 24, has scored 63 goals in all competitions for Barcelona this season. Ronaldo, 27, has got 53 for Real Madrid. And they’ve both got plenty to come this season, with five to play in their head-to-head battle for La Liga and a probable two more in the Champions League.

Last weekend, fittingly, they broke the Spanish scoring record together. Ronaldo, who reset the mark last year with 40, nodded home an Angel Di Maria cross in the 74th minute of a 3-1 win at the Bernabeu against Sporting Gijon to reach 41 League goals. Two hours later, Messi joined him on 41 with both goals in Barca’s 2-1 win at Levante.

Afterwards the ever-modest Messi, who has never cut his hair fashionably, said: "Luckily things are going well for me, but the important thing is that the team performs well so we can challenge for the title.”

The more flamboyant Ronaldo, crasher of sports cars and father of a mystery child, went for: “I always believe in myself, knowing that from one moment to the next I can do important things. We are very confident and we have our fate in our own hands which is crucial for the final stages of the season.”

Any further confirmation of the Messi/Ronaldo effect can be seen in the goals scored column. Though both global stars have failed to inspire international success – that could change when Portugal compete at Euro2012 this winter and Argentina chase the Copa de America – Real Madrid now have 107 goals, Barca offer 99. Both have played 33 times. In Germany’s Bundesliga, the leaders Dortmund and second-placed Bayern have 69 from 31. In England, Manchester City lead the way with 85 from 34. The Dutch are closest with Ajax registering 84 goals in 30 games. In South Africa, second-placed Mamelodi Sundowns are the best on offer, with a meagre 40 from 25 matches.

Problem is, no other league boasts a pint-sized fireball like Messi. Or an all-singing, all dancing act like Ronaldo. To have both scoring when they want in the same division is something of a modern sporting miracle.

So, Saturday night. Put it in the diary. In front of the telly, with SuperSport3 and HD2 from 7.55pm. Share an evening with the world’s best paid footballers, Messi ($660,000 a week) and Ronaldo ($584,000 a week), and one day you, too, can tell the grandchildren: I remember them well.

Football’s rich list (Daily Mail, 12 March 2012) Includes salaries, bonuses and endorsements

£27.5m Lionel Messi (Barcelona)

£26.2m David Beckham (LA Galaxy)

£24.3m Cristiano Ronaldo (Real Madrid)

£19.4m Samuel Eto'o (Anzhi)

£17.2m Wayne Rooney (Man United)

£15.7m Sergio Aguero (Man City)

£14.7m Yaya Toure (Man City)

£13.9m Fernando Torres (Chelsea)

£12.9m Kaka (Real Madrid)

£11.9m Philipp Lahm (Bayern Munich)

This story first appeared in The New Age as part of my Neal & Pray series. You can read Neal every Tuesday in www.thenewage.co.za and follow him on twitter at www.twitter.com/nealcol.

El Clasico, Eish Clasico and Alex Clasico: who's going to win what

IT’S that time of year for the football-speaking world as the end of season crowds gather. The reigning season.

Let me draw your attention to the big ones. The title-deciders I was asked to talk about on South Africa’s eNews channel this morning, with Mr William Lehong and his perfect suit. El Classico at the Nou Camp, the self-styled Eish Clasico in Soweto and the Sir Al Clasico in Manchester.

Let us for a moment skip past the Champions League semi-finals, difficult though that is. Real Madrid go to Bayern Munich tomorrow night in an attempt to stop the Germans, currently second to Dortmund in the Bundesliga, from engineering a home final in May.

On Wednesday, Barcelona are off to London, where Chelsea at Stamford Bridge may be a stumbling point. Unfortunately, the Blues are coming off the back of an excruciating 5-1 win over Spurs, with Drogba, Lampard, Ramirez and Malouda joining referee Martin Atkinson on the scoresheet in the FA Cup semi-final at Wembley. The Nou Camp could be disastrous for Roberto di Matteo.

Few would bet against an all-Spanish Champions League final, but for both the La Liga giants, Europe pales into insignificance on Saturday, when Jose Mourinho’s all-whites travel to the heart of Catlunia and the blue-and-red Nou Camp.

Has there ever been a bigger El Clasico? With Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi both breaking the all-time La Liga scoring record of the weekend – they’re locked on 41 each – the stage is set for something extraordinary.

I’ve spent most of today writing for The New Age about this extraordinarily odd couple. Modest, unassuming Messi, 24, with his growth hormones and crap hairstyle against flashy, sports car-crashing Ronaldo, 27.

And on the sidelines, the relatively sane Pep Guardiola versus the madness that is Jose Mourinho, who recently missed his 45^th pre-match press conference (the Spaniards count these things).

But before that little lot, we’ve got South Africa’s own title showdown: champions Orlando Pirates, holders of all the nation’s domestic trophies, against upstarts Moroka Swallows in Dobsonville.

Soweto’s oldest derby comes at an intriguing time. Eish. Gordon Igesund has turned the Dube Birds from relegation fodder into title contenders in just over a year. Peruvian caretaker Augusto Palacios has taken over from Brazilian Julio Leal with surprising aplomb in Orlando. A win over the Buccaneers, unlikely though it may seems, would put Swallows within a point of the lead.

With the ancient Siyabonga Nomvete, the SAPL’s top scorer, up against the bang-from-suspension Benni McCarthy, it’s not quite Messi v Ronaldo, but it’ll do for us!

And then, on May 30, the English showdown of note. Manchester United travel to Eastlands, Manchester City’s home at the Commonwealth Games Stadium.

After their glitch against Wigan, United bounced back with a 4-0 destruction of a pitiful Aston Villa on Sunday. Wayne Rooney, subbed and chastised against Wigan, scored twice. Ashley Young did one of his gold medal winning dives. Sir Alex chewed gum and admitted Young “might have overdone it”.

City meanwhile, are on a roll with Mario Balotelli suspended. Carlos Tevez, a footballing slave I have always defended, scored a hat-trick in their 6-1 win over Norwich. I guess the former United striker would love a couple more where they came from against Sir Alex.

Sir Alex said after the weekend’s fun and games: “We’ve got a nice healthy lead, but the derby is bound to have an impact on the the eventual winners.”

In Spain, the gap is four points. In South Africa, it’s the same. In England, it’s five.

These are the three big ones, El Clasico, Soweto’s oldest derby and the Manchester showdown. My picks? Real Madrid to get at last a point at the Nou Camp, Swallows to stun the Buccaneers, City to edge United at home. But the title winners? Jose Mourinho, Gordon Igesund… and, yet again, Sir Alex Ferguson.

You can follow me in www.thenewage.co.za and on www.twitter.com/nealcol. But don’t be scared to leave a comment…

Liverpool bitten by Lyon... now for the Europa League

DEPENDING which paper you read, Liverpool lost anything from £10m to £40m last night when they failed to qualify for the knock-out stages of the Champions League.

Quite how that odd American couple, Gillette and Hicks, will take this loss of earnings on their Anfield investment is not yet known. But under-fire boss Rafa Benitez, now talking about winning the Europa League, knows he's got a job on his hands.

Sure, the Reds won 1-0 at pointless Debrecen but with Lyon understandably losing 1-0 at Fiorentina, qualification from Group E is now beyond them. Would you want to win or draw if it meant going to Anfield and playing for your lives?

Poor old Liverpool. Fernando Torres and Steven Gerrard have been battling injury all season and they're a modest 7th in the Premier League, five points behind Spurs in fourth. We won't even mention the beach ball.

Dramatically, Sky Sports 2 showed Gerrard watching the final minutes of the game in Fiorentina on a screen in the tunnel at the Ferenc Puskas stadium in Budapest. Gutted. He didn't stop to talk when the whistle went. Later he said: "You get what you deserve in football. The disappointing thing was having to rely on other people. We have played well today but now we have to try and move on, build on tonight and, with a lot of players coming back from injury, try and win the Europa League.

"Of course its disappointing. The Champions League is the main trophy at the start of the season but the only consolation now is to try and win the Europa League."

And Benitez emerged briefly to say: "I am 100% confident we will finish in the top four in the Premier League this season."

And all this while Arsenal were merrily skipping through to the last 32 with a game to spare. Their 2-0 win over Belgium's Standard Liege came courtesy of welcome goals for the returning Denilson and Samir Nasri (pictured).

Quite an improvement after Saturday's demoralising 1-0 defeat at the hands of Sunderland and their former Spurs striker Darren Bent. No need to mention the two penalties turned down in front of the Emirates crowd... or the double rattling of the woodwork by the Belgians, who had a man sent off late on. Funny how we don't notice these things when English clubs are winning. Former Gunner Paul Merson did. He pointed out in the Sky studios: "What worries me is they were dominant throughout but they still could have lost this game. Liege had a stonewall penalty and a couple of clear chances. Any team that plays Arsenal knows they're always in with a chance, they can always nick a goal."

Another small point before the London showdown against Premier League leaders Chelsea on Sunday: William Gallas took a nasty blow to the eye and looked concussed after clashing heads with Andrei Arshavin, while Kieran Gibbs limped off with what looked like a recurrence of his ankle injury. But still, they're through for the 10th season in a row, joining Chelsea and Manchester United, whatever they do tomorrow night.

Rangers are out too, beaten 2-0 by Stuttgart... and they don't even get the consolation of a late place in the Europa League as they finish bottom of Group G.

The good news for UEFA came in Spain where Barcelona eased the threat of non-qualification with a 2-0 win over Jose Mourinho's Inter Milan in fascinating Group F. Rumours of Thierry "Hand of Gaul" Henry diving twice in the first half have yet to be confirmed.

Bad news for Portsmouth fans with manager Paul Hart departing (former Chelsea boss Avram Grant is waiting in the wings), good news for Wycombe, the Division One strugglers, who followed up their shock 2-0 win at Millwall with a 1-0 win over Brentford last night.

I'm not like Maradona says Henry, the mouth of God

THIERRY HENRY should not be judged in the same bracket as fellow Hand-of-God user Diego Maradona. And who says so? Erm... Thierry himself.

Today we are assailed by another avalanche of self-justification and bluster from the man who cheated to put France through to the World Cup finals in South Africa next year, courtesy of a blatant handball.

Maradona did the same for Argentina in the World Cup quarter-final against England in Mexico 23 years ago but never admitted he cheated, preferring to refer to his deft finish over Peter Shilton as "the Hand of God".

Henry apparently feels he has the Mouth of God as he attempts to wriggle out of the situation he has created for himself.

The 32-year-old Frenchman has been under pressure ever since his basketball-style move helped make the crucial goal for William Gallas in Paris last week, but as the 450,000 strong Facebook petition to have the game replayed fades in FIFA's memory, the Barcelona striker says: "I was in a situation where, whatever happened, I couldn't have won. At a certain point I thought I had done something very seriously wrong. After the game I went to a press conference to say I had touched the ball with my hand.

"That is not like Maradona or Messi (his Barcelona team-mate Lionel also scored with his hand once, perhaps the Nou Camp has an expert on hand to explain this), I could have easily avoided it and not said a word.

"But I did not run away from my responsibilities. On Friday, when everything went too far, I was really upset."

Hold on a bit Thierry, most of Ireland and the rest of the football-speaking world were upset too. With you. And it hasn't helped that the perfectly acceptable idea of a replay - agreed as "the fairest solution" by you and a million others - appears to have been firmly shelved by FIFA.

Despite yesterday's claim that he nearly quit playing for France over the incident, Henry adds: "I've always fought for Les Bleus. Like a dog. I won't let my country down."

No, Thierry, you've already done that. Last Wednesday. With your left arm.

And like Maradona, that single act will define your career.