The collapse of an empire: sorry Spain the first major casualties of the 2014 World Cup

Spainful: Casillas concedes against Chile

THE reign of Spain falls mainly on the plane home. That incredible wave of Spanish conquest dating back to 2008 is OVER. Vicente del Bosque’s World Cup winners broke all records in their bid to return home rapidly from Brazil.

Walloped 5-1 by Hup Hup Holland in their opening Group B game and convincingly ousted 2-0 by a super hot Chile in their second, the football-speaking world had a field day with the kings of tika-taka, ignoring those 2008 and 2012 European Championships wins either side of their dour 2010 World Cup triumph.

It’s unfair. We all love to see the giants fall. But this was a Jack and the Beanstalk return to earth for a Spanish side which conceded just two goals in South Africa four years ago (and scored a record low of seven to conquer the world). In just thee halves of football – 135 minutes – they conceded SEVEN, Iker Casillas was exposed and without Carles Puyol, they seemed incapable of stopping the rot.

Seven-goal champs: Spain in 2010

Diego Costa, the Brazilian striker who opted for Spain after two friendlies for his homeland last year, turned out to be about as popular as Kingston Nkatha at Kaizer Chiefs, as effective as Ndumiso Mabena at Orlando Pirates. In short, a huge boo-boo.

Ironically, it was soon-to-depart South African head coach Gordon Igesund who said in Australia last month: “Spain have become too predictable” as he explained Bafana’s surprise 1-0 friendly win over Espana at Soccer City, venue of their greatest triumph.

Even more ironically, it would not surprise this writer if Del Bosque now becomes a target to succeed Igesund, given his CV. But there is a rarely-mentioned detail in the 63-year-old Spaniard’s career: he took over Spain in 2008 only after Luis Aragones had led them to their first European Championship success.

Ultimately Del Bosque was undone by his reluctance to change a winning set-up: he stuck with the old guard and it worked for the years – until their record-breaking demise in Brazil. No champions have ever lost their first two games in defending the World Cup.

It’s one thing to see World Cup winners fall at the first hurdle (as France and Italy did before them) it’s quite another to see such a great side, filled with Barcelona and Real Madrid all-conquering giants, slip out of the tournament without a fight.

Though they managed a couple of shots late on, it was Arsenal’s Santi Cazorla, on the periphery of the great Spanish successes, who produced most of the late urgency after coming on as a substitute.

I said before this tournament that South American sides would dominate, pointing out that Europeans have never won on the continent. I said too that Chile (and Colombia) could spring a surprise or two.

A crest-fallen Del Bosque, 63, said: "We were inferior to both Netherlands and Chile. It is a sad day for all of us. We are sorry we didn't succeed, now is too early to analyse where we go from here.

"The first goal really buoyed them and they really got into our faces. They got the goals and gave us a mountain to climb. We were too timid in the first half and did not react sufficiently in the second."

But as we glory in the fall of the giants, joined at the early exit door by brave Australia (beaten 3-2 in a cracker by the Netherlands) it’s worth remembering other big guns could soon join them – notably England, who cannot accept anything less than a win over Uruguay.

Ouch: last look at that Spanish defence

As the smoke clears, it would be hard to say that the South American big guns – Brazil, Argentina and Uruguay – are in scintillating form on their home continent. Holland and Germany look the form sides with Aarjen Robben, Robin van Persie and Thomas Muller leading the race for the Golden Boot with three goals each so far.

But I suspect Argentina will get stronger and stronger. Brazil, with Neymar isolated up front thanks to the incompetence of Fred, Hulk and Jo, have a lot of work to do after their 0-0 draw with Mexico.

But this World Cup remains a fascinating journey. Scoring at a rate of nearly four goals a game, this is a tournament marked by attacking exuberance and super substitutions. Long may it continue.

And I leave you with this thought: were Spain single-handedly responsible for lowering the tone of the 2010 World Cup in South Africa? Tika-taka may be great for the purists, but the lack of direct, exciting, thrusting football can be blamed on those pesky Spaniards four years ago. Germany were a far more attractive proposition and I said so at the time as they scored 21 goals and crashed out in the semi-finals.

Giants are not always attractive. They can even be mistaken for ogres. I for one am not sorry to see this particular Espana thrown in the works.

Disgrace: Assou-Ekotto and Moukanjo square up

Later last night, we had the unedifying spectacle of Cameroon crashing out and joining Spain and Australia in the queue at the Brazil exit door. Going down to Croatia 4-0 is one thing. But the unedifying spectacle of Benoit Assou-Ekotto and Benjamin Moukanjo squaring up to each other before the Spurs man (currently on loan at QPR) threw in a head-butt was too much.




Earlier former Arsenal man Alex Song, now at Barcelona, had been sent off for a ridiculous off-the-ball swing which left Cameroon coach Volker Finke summing up his night thus: "It's clear we have to find the reasons what's going on because such behaviour is really disgusting, it won't do, it's impossible. There will be repercussions."


All this of course, happening on television screens around the world to Cameroon, the nation which gave us the infamous son-of-a-sultan Issa Hayatou, who has run CAF, the African Football Federation, since 1987. Little wonder Africa is going backwards internationally if the dictator can't even keep his own nation in order. The current CAF situation in Brazil: Played 6, Won 1, Drawn 1, Lost 4. That's relegation form.

SOCCERBALLZ! my innovative football show on www.ballz.co.za with Mark Fish airs every Thursday from 9am-11am. See Ballz' channel for our growing library of fascinating football interviews with the big names. Ballz will also provide daily World Cup updates from next week.

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news and read my “Neal and Pray” column every Tuesday in www.thenewage.co.za.

Ghana's finest spells trouble for Ronaldo: yes the World Cup is here… and these are the 16 nations who will survive the opening cull

Doctors orders: Ronaldo's injury is apparently spiritual

THERE can be no better way to resume this writer's World Cup love affair. Let's deal first with the cracking tale about the Ghanaian witchdoctor who claims he has personally caused Cristiano Ronaldo's injury problems in the build-up to Brazil 2014.

The greatest sporting event in the world (shut up Olympians) gets underway next Thursday with the hosts taking on Croatia.


But for Africa, Ghana's fate is vital. One of their leading traditional practioners Nana Kwaku Bonsam is well aware of how important Portgual's No7 is in Group G.

Four short years ago in South Africa, Luis Suarez's hand denied Ghana a record-breaking place in the semi-finals of the Copa Mondiale. There cannot be a repeat. Dr Bonsam (apparently his full name means "Wednesday's Devil") has done his research. He knows Germany (2), Portugal (3) and the USA (14) are higher ranked than his own nation (38) and a little extra help may be required.

So on Wednesday when the Portuguese FA confirmed Ronaldo is still struggling with a muscle problem in his left thigh sustained in Real Madrid's Champions League-winning campaign, Dr Bonsam announced on a radio station in Kumasi: “I know all about Cristiano's injury, I’m working on him. I said four months ago I will work on Ronaldo seriously and rule him out of the World Cup or at least prevent him from playing against Ghana.

Beyond help: Ronaldo is a threat to Ghana

"The best thing I can do is give him an injury. I am very serious about it. Last weekend, I went around looking for four dogs and I got them to be used in manufacturing a special spirit called Kahwiri Kapam.

“This injury can never be cured by any medical doctor, they can never see what is causing the injury because it is spiritual. Today, it is his knee; tomorrow it is his thigh; next day it is something else."

Ghana play Portugal - reputed to be a bit of a one-man side by most pundits - in their final match of Group G in Brasilia on 26 June. We will find out then if the good doctor has made his muti count. Here in South Africa, we are not skeptical about these things. It's a serious matter.

Ah, four years ago. That opening goal of the first African World Cup scored by beautiful Kaizer Chiefs winger Simphiwe Tshabalala. An opening draw against Mexico. Hope alive… then the dark magic struck. Ironically it was Suarez and his golden-locked mate Diego Forlan who laid Bafana Bafana low.

Even victory against 1998 world champions France wasn't enough to put South Africa in to the last 16. For the first time in history, the hosts went out in the group stages. Ah, the pain.

Four years on, much has changed. I came to that World Cup fresh from working 4am-2pm in London, where a daily congestion charge of around R100 and a dull life were squeezing me dry. Four years on, I am free of colonialists who close successful newspapers, I have escaped calls from Sky News asking me to talk about skeleton bob-sleighing at 2am, I live in the nation where you can still see lions kill and the monthly etoll bill comes to less than a week of traveling in to London.


Unrestrained by ignorant editors and West Ham fans, I can write what I like. And this much needs to be said: South Africa should be at this World Cup. With Ethiopia docked three points in a qualification group that also featured Botswana and the Central African Republic, Bafana should at the very least have had a crack at the play-off against Nigeria.

Instead that magnificent headed own goal from Bernard Parker - the PSL's top scorer with 10 goals in a season which saw him last net in February - proves that muti is NOT dead in football.


Four years on, there is no Paul the octopus to amuse us. Yet. Apparently the aquatic prophet has gone to his own nirvana, known as "Calamari" in some quarters. I'm sure the Brazilians will pull out an indigenous golden lion tamarin to help us predict the outcome.


But what can be said, without reference to witchdoctors or, worse, Sammy Kuffour's labored predictions, is that NO EUROPEAN SIDE HAS EVER WON THE WORLD CUP IN LATIN AMERICA.


Four years ago, Germany were the best side on show, Holland gritted their way past Brazil in an epic come-from-behind quarter-final in Port Elizabeth… and Spain eventually won it, scoring just seven goals.


Those three European big guns are, naturally, back in Brazil. But this time we have the magical South Americans to throw at them on home soil. Chile, Colombia and Uruguay are there with the big guns, Brazil and Uruguay. Who dares to bet against the hosts after their Confederations Cup triumph?

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's settle for sorting out the qualifiers for the last 16, that vital first step.

Group A, Brazil and Mexico will qualify with Croatia and Cameroon - barring a remarkable revival from Samuel Eto'o - dropping out. Mexico needed a play-off against New Zealand to get to Brazil, Croatia could push them hard, though many will pray for the Cameroonionians.

Group B offers better news for Europe with champions Spain and  beaten 2010 finalists the Netherlands favored. Chile might spring a surprise, but having seen Australia draw 1-1 with a makeshift Bafana last week, it's two out of three.

Group C offers Africa's best hope of serious impact. Didier Drogba and Gervinho led the Cote D'Ivoire to a 2-1 victory over El Salvador in front of 18,000 in Texas last night after last week's unhappy warm-up defeat against Bosnia. The Ivory Coast - with the rested Yaya Toure at the forefront - are expected to progress with Colombia, Greece and Japan will go home.

Group D? England have never failed to reach the knock-out stages at the finals, but this time, surely Uruguay and Italy will test that record, with Costa Rica bringing up the rear. Mario Balotelli is reassuring on this: "England are not rivals to Italy. They cannot win the World Cup." Fact.

Group E is the weakest of the lot. Switzerland and France come up against Honduras and Ecuador, who drew 2-2 with England in Miami last night. Sure, the Swiss were the only side to beat Spain in 2010 and they enjoy a spectacularly high FIFA ranking, probably thanks to uncle Sepp. But I'll go for France and Ecuador.

Group F will no doubt be dominated by Argentina's top class strike force (we could even see Lionel Messi on the bench) with Bosnia, Nigeria and Iran fighting it out for second. Ironically, the two favorites to replace Gordon Igesund as South Africa's head coach will battle it out. Carlos Queiroz has worked miracles in Tehran while Steve Keshi has done much the same out of Lagos. I'm taking the 2013 AFCON winners and reigning African Champions to roar in to the last 16.

Group G is clearly the group of death, full of fatal threats. Any good witchdoctor will tell you Ghana need a bit of magic to finish in the top two with Germany, Portugal and the Americans to contend with. Sadly, I think Ghana may struggle against Europe's 2nd and 3rd best sides… unless Ronaldo is ruled out of course.

Group H sees everyone's new favorites Belgium (who should really thank a former colony once known as the Congo for a lot of their emerging talent) ready to go further than ever before with Algeria, Russia and South Korea in the battle, presumably, for second. Actually, though they have of big names these days, the Belgians are no certainty. This is probably the hardest group to call. Belgium and Russia? Probably.

So that's it. My final 16. Feel free to have a go if I get it all wrong. I pray an African side - probably the Ivory Coast - will reach the last four. But for me, it's all about who gets to the final with Brazil. Argentina, surely?

SOCCERBALLZ! my innovative football show on www.ballz.co.za with Mark Fish airs every Thursday from 9am-11am. See Ballz' channel for our growing library of fascinating football interviews with the big names. Ballz will also provide daily World Cup updates from next week.

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news and read my “Neal and Pray” column every Tuesday in www.thenewage.co.za.

Squeaky bottom time in South Africa, Britain and Spain: the vital fixtures that could shape the season this weekend

Repeat performance? Stuart Baxter last season

IT'S going down to the wire. A tired footballing cliche, I know, but not one they're throwing about in Germany and Scotland right now.

While the Bundesliga and Scottish Premier were settled weeks ago, Spanish, British and South African football followers are just hitting crunch time - with three sides in the running in La Liga, the Premier League and the PSL.

South Africa's battle between Mamelodi Sundowns and champions Kaizer Chiefs could yet prove to be the closest of all, with the title decided on goal difference, as it was in 2011 when Orlando Pirates pipped Ajax Cape Town to secure their first treble.


Last night, just before Gareth Bale's sensational winner for Real Madrid in the El Clasico Copa Del Ray final against wilting Barcelona, Mzanzi's top three all cleared significant hurdles to stay in the running for the 2014 South African crown.


At Loftus, Sundowns could only carve out a 1-0 win over Clive Barker's in-form Mpumalanga Black Aces thanks to an early goal from Mozambiquan star Elias Pelembe. Afterwards Pitso Mosimane, now realistically set to become the first black South African coach to win the PSL, was far from tears.

He grinned: "I know some people will accuse me off being too defensive, but this was not a night for a second goal. Three points is all that mattered. And we've got our three points."

At the Peter Mokabe Stadium, Polokwane City - not easily beaten up north - were eventually beaten 2-0 by George. Well two Georges. First Lebese added to the two late Nedbank Cup goals he scored over the weekend, then Maluleke produced the killer goal. Talking of killers: Katlego Mphela came on for Bernard Parker, but neither lived up to their reputations.

Worse, when Knowledge Musona came on as a sub late in the game, it looked like his dodgy ankle went with his first real thrust at goal. Stuart Baxter appeared afterwards to say: "We've got to be happy with three points, it's such a schedule like nowhere else.

"I'm trying to put out a competitive squad for CAF, that's why we rotated some of the players tonight. The PSL could go down to goal difference, but what can you do? If our competitors win 7-0 for the rest of the season, I'll be the first to congratulate them!"


And quietly, Bidvest Wits produced two late goals against Moroka Swallows to secure a last-gasp 2-1 win which leaves the Clever Boys in the Hunt. Gavin Hunt that is. With one game in hand on Chiefs and two on Sundowns, his men are realistically TWO POINTS adrift in the title race and they've got to play the AmaKhosi.


With Chiefs and Sundowns level on goal difference at +22, it's the remaining fixtures which now become the subject of some debate. And the major problem? Chiefs have those two CAF Confed Cup games against Asec Mimosa (at Dobsonville on Saturday and at the Stade Robert Champroux in Abidjan on April 27) to worry about.

And the AmaKhosi are also in to the last four of the Nedbank Cup, with Wits of all people to come on May 3.  Sundowns have neither CAF nor the Nedbank Cup to worry about after their quarter-final defeat against Orlando Pirates.


That means Masanadawana have THREE to play: Swallows away on Saturday; SuperSport United at home on April 26 and Maritzburg away on May 10.

Chiefs have FOUR to come: the big one against Wits on April 23, Amatuks away on April 26 (has to be re-scheduled because of CAF); relegation threatened Free State Stars on April 30 and Amazulu at home on the final day of the season, May 10.


Last season Chiefs won the League with 57 points. Orlando Pirates did it with 58 in 2012. Already Sundowns have 55 points. They might need 64 to confirm it. And that would be a new PSL record.


FULL LIST OF PSL WINNERS AND POINTS TALLIES

2002-2003: Orlando Pirates 61, Supersport United 55

2003-2004: Kaizer Chiefs 63 (highest), Ajax Cape Town 57

2004-2005: Kaizer Chiefs 62, Orlando Pirates 60

2005-2006: Mamelodi Sundowns 57, Orlando Pirates 54

2006-2007: Mamelodi Sundowns 61, Silver Stars 51

2007-2008: SuperSport United 54 (lowest), Ajax Cape Town 52

2008-2009: SuperSport United 55, Orlando Pirates 55

2009-2010: SuperSport United 57, Mamelodi Sundowns 56

2010-2011: Orlando Pirates 60, Ajax Cape Town 60

2011-2012: Orlando Pirates 58, Moroka Swallows 56

2012-2013: Kaizer Chiefs 57, Platinum Stars 56


Vital games in La Liga this weekend:

FRIDAY: ATLETICO MADRID v Elche 8.30pm CAT

SATURDAY: REAL MADRID v Osasuna, 8pm CAT

SUNDAY: Villarreal v BARCELONA, 9pm CAT

After last night's Copa Del Ray win, Real Madrid and Barcelona have to maintain the pace at Diego Simeone's shock troops Atleti remain a win clear in the title race. All three are expected to win this weekend, but that's what they said before Granada 1-0 Barcelona last week!


Vital games in Premier League this weekend:

SATURDAY: CHELSEA v Sunderland 6.30pm CAT

SUNDAY: Norwich v LIVERPOOL 1pm CAT

MONDAY: MANCHESTER CITY v West Brom 9pm CAT

Man City were held 2-2 by Sunderland last night, and they were lucky to bet a point at home with Samir Nasri's late equaliser vital. It's a result that further strengthens Liverpool's grip on their first EVER Premier League crown. Assuming the top three all win this weekend, it's Chelsea at Liverpool next week which will be crucial.



Vital games in PSL this weekend:

SATURDAY: SuperSport United v WITS 3pm CAT

SUNDAY: Moroka Swallows v MAMELODI SUNDOWNS 6pm CAT

With champions Kaizer Chiefs on CAF Confed Cup duty, Sundowns have the chance to move SIX points ahead at the top of the PSL - and improve their goal difference against the low-flying SwaiSwai. Victory for Wits would put them within TWO POINTS of Chiefs. Definitely still in the HUNT.

IT'S BEEN A CRAZY WEEK! Dean Furman on beating Spain for South Africa - and Yeovil for Doncaster. And his first EVER red card!

Iniesta in my pocket: Dean Furman

DEAN FURMAN was in the passport control queue when I got hold of him last week after South Africa’s epic 1-0 win over world champions Spain.

With the new FIFA rankings out on Thursday, 61^st-placed Bafana are expected to move up in the world, but for the 25-year-old Cape Town-born midfielder, this was simply: “One of the highlights of my career. A night I’ll never forget.”

Speaking on my football show BOLLOCKZ! on www.ballz.co.za, Furman laughed loudly when I suggested he had to allow Barcelona great Andres Iniesta out of his pocket for a second-half substitution.

Furman marshalled the World Cup winning Spaniards with some authority and Iniesta – scorer of the winning goal in the final at Soccer City in 2010 – was unable to repeat his heroics at the same stadium with Oupa Manyisa and Andile Jali creating a dynamic midfield trio for the first time.

Though our chat with Furman was rudely interrupted by passport control at Heathrow, his enthusiasm sparkled down the long-distance line.

With Furman and Bongani Khumalo playing for Doncaster Rovers and striker Tokelo Rantie now at Bournemouth, South Africa’s epic victory sparked interested in England too with Furman admitting: “Everone is talking about Bafana now. I’m still scratching my head about how we actually did it but in all honesty we played very well on the night.

“We had a game plan, we sat back and let the Spanish have it in their own half and when they came into ours, we pressed them, tried to catch them on the counter. We’ve got some great players going forward, with real pace.

“We knew that would cause them some problems on the night.

“Up against Alonso, Iniesta, Busquets, then Mata and Cazorla, it didn’t get an easier the whole night but it was a great spectacle, great to come up with a win.

“Against players like that you have to raise your game. Their movement off the ball is spectacular, they’re so clever. Communicating with each other was vital.

“It was unbelievable. For a very proud nation, there have been some disappointments, going out on penalties in the AFCON, not qualifying for the World Cup.

“This was a victory for the fans, the nation. The supporters were all coming up to thank us. It was a great moment for everyone. We can really build from here.”

Furman, who scored before being sent off in his first game back with Doncaster against Yeovil last Friday, grinned: “It’s been a crazy week Neal, great to get a goal and three points but gutted to get my first red!”

BOLLOCKZ! my show on www.ballz.co.za, airs every Thursday from 9am. See the Ballz channel on www.YouTube.com for our growing collection of interviews with the big names in South African football.

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news… and read my “Neal and Pray” column every Tuesday in www.thenewage.co.za.

BOLLOCKZ! is backed by www.topodds.com - have a look at their site for my latest sports betting advice and how we are doing in using @thumperpigeon's R5,000 to make money for the Ball's charity WINGZ OF CHANGE.

SuperSport United boss Cavin Johnson on Pirates, Pule and the problems that beset South African football

LOST DECADE: Jabu Pule in action for Chiefs, 2003

CAVIN JOHNSON insists his SuperSport United troops can upset Orlando Pirates in the Telkom Knock-out semi-final today.

SuperSport United coach Johnson, talking on my football show BOLLOCKZ! on www.ballz.co.za, said: “ I think we can take them. We have to give them respect, you can call them the Southern African champions right now after what they did in the African Champions League.

“We lost to them in the MTN8 on penalties, we allowed them back in to the game after going 1-0 up. But my players knew they were in with a chance.

“Pirates have gone and played a lot in Africa but I think we have a chance, we’re at home. The one thing I’ve taken notice of is how well Pirates played in the Champions League but the local game is a much faster game.

“We’ve prepared ourselves way, analysed their weaker points, we are ready. We’ve done everything we can.

“Chiefs or my old clubs Platinum Stars in the final? It really doesn’t matter!”

Johnson (see video below) also touched on the return of Jabu Pule to football – he is training with the SuperSport squad but at 33, can he make a footballing comeback after three years in retirement?

Johnson said: “Jabu is involved as an ex-player, trying to change the mentality of the people in Atteridgeville. We want to take the neighbourhood and make it ours. Draw the fans.

“But at the moment Jabu is training with us to get fit. It’s my own personal thing: everybody deserves a second chance.

“For what he’s done, I’ve known him for a while, going on television talking about drugs, drink, women – for me that’s a good sign. But if he gets a relapse he’s really in the kak.

“We use him as an amabassador for the club at the moment but Neal, he still has talent hey. He’s like Maradona, Gascoigne.”

Johnson was singularly unimpressed by Gordon Igesund’s latest international success, insisting:

“The 1-0 Bafana win over Spain did not excite me. I was at Soccer City on Tuesday. It does nothing for me, it does nothing for the country.

“I’m happy we beat the world champions but we needed to qualify for the World Cup. Spain didn’t come out of the starting blocks. And I don’t think Spain will go well in Brazil either, look at the Germans, Dutch, South Americans, they’re all flying.

“And yes, Khune did play well against Spain but with all respect, yah, wrong time. How about when we were playing the bloody Ethiopians. What mentality did we have. Walk in the park? You know what I’m saying?

“This is a South African problem. We have all the facilities, the best league in Africa, but we have a low grade mentality. It’s going to take a lot more than just natural footballers to fix that up. It’s going to take a generation of intelligent mothers and fathers to get it right.

“Now when I sign a player, I tell them I want to see their parents, the brothers and sisters. I want to know what kind of mentality they have, what support system, this is what I’m going to do with ALL the players I sign from now on.

“I want to see who they’re messing around with, whether they have played in the PSL for 20 years or are just coming up.

“With all respect, we have to lose now in order to win later. I cannot run players for two seasons, and then kick him out. That’s not fair.

“We have to change the culture of South African football.  I can get foreigners to kick the hell out of everyone, some gorillas to boot the opposition. Look at them, they earn a lot of money in this country. That’s easy.

“I’ll give you an example. When I was at Platinum Stars and we played in Bloemfontein or Durban, their families would be waiting by the bus with their hands out. Not to greet them, but to say “put the money in my hand”.

“That for me is frightening. I’m preparing the boys for football but they’re scared of having to hand out their money to their parents. They don’t even give moral support to these boys, they say they have no bread at home, no money at home.

“They say “give us the money now” they don’t care about football. We need people to understand that. The generation coming up have to master that like the Brazilians. They have worse problems than we do.”

“It happens to every country. Took them 25 years to win a World Cup but there is a slump immediately afterwards, there’s nothing they can do about that. It’s the beauty of football.

“Look at Germany now. They were ordinary 10-15 years ago, now look at the pace they play at. The Spanish game is going down.”

 BOLLOCKZ! my show on www.ballz.co.za, airs every Thursday from 9am. See the Ballz channel on www.YouTube.com for our growing collection of interviews with the big names in South African football.

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news… and read my “Neal and Pray” column every Tuesday in www.thenewage.co.za.

BOLLOCKZ! is backed by www.topodds.com - have a look at their site for my latest sports betting advice and how we are doing in using @thumperpigeon's R5,000 to make money for the Ball's charity WINGZ OF CHANGE.

Time to support our Bafana Republic. Three against Swaziland is fine. Anything less than a stuffing against Spain will do me

The face of Mr Price: Thabo Nthethe was captain for the
night in Swaziland - and scored his first Bafana goal

Let's get this clear from the start. I have a  problem with pessimists in our Bafana Republic (isn’t that what Sports Minister Fikile Mbalula called us last week?).

Just for starters, how about those twits calling for Kaizer Chiefs coach Stuart Baxter’s head less than half a season after he became the first foreign coach to win the PSL (and he added the Nedbank Cup double).

They want Baxter out despite making the inspired subsitutions (George Lebese and Lehlohonolo Majoro) to clinch a tricky encounter against Gavin Hunt's Bidvest Wits last week.

And then there are those whinging about Roger De Sa, preferring to focus on Drawlando rather than celebrating the presence of a South African club in the African Champions League final for the first time in a decade. Nonsense. It's not like there are any great contenders to replace the boss at EITHER of the Soweto giants.

And then we come to Bafana. It started within five minutes of the kick-off on the plastic surface of the Somhlolo Stadium on Saturday night.

Our national coach Gordon Igesund was accused of EVERYTHING from a lack of imagination to a one-eyed selection policy. After months of agreeing not to choose pre-occupied Pirates, he filled his squad with Buccaneers and STILL nobody was happy.

It’s madness guys. As Manchester United fans will tell you, keeping faith in a coach is a vital part of any successful football set-up.

I tweeted frantically “keep the faith” though I too was surprised by some of the selections, particularly Thabo Nthethe, playing for leaky Bloemfontein Celtic but made national captain for the night. Apparently it has something to do with his new role as “The Face of Mr Price Sport”.

But after a dreadful first half, Bafana changed things. Igesund said afterwards: “We wanted to start strongly but they parked the bus, put a lot of players behind the ball. We had a chat at half-time about how to get behind them, it worked.”

It sure did. Two goals in as many minutes from Reneilwe “YeahYeah” Letsholonyane and young Bongani Zungu were followed by a well-struck goal from Nthethe himself, his first in national colours.

Could we have asked for anything more? Gordon admitted: “We did want to go for a 4^th, 5^th and 6^th but overall I’m happy with the way we played. We pushed it about, we kept the ball.”

A bit of loyalty, a bit of belief wouldn’t go astray when it comes to Igesund, who capped his 90^th player in just over a year on Friday night as he shuffled the pack for the home-based CHAN tournament early next year.

And of course it’s all change at Soccer City on Tuesday night when World and European champions Spain return to the site of their 2010 World Cup triumph.

Gordon points out: “I’ve got the overseas contingent coming to join us, there will be changes. But I may bring in another one of those who played tonight. I’m worried about Thabo Matlaba's injury. I’ve got two left-backs out now, with Tsepo Masilela – but Nthethe can play there too.”

Swaziland, ranked 183 in the world, may prove a tad less tough than Spaniards, ranked at No1 since 2008. But Gordon remains hopeful. Just wish the rest of our football-speaking nation would join him. Anything less than a stuffing would be okay by me.

BOLLOCKZ! my show on www.ballz.co.za, airs every Thursday from 9am. See the Ballz channel on www.YouTube.com for our growing collection of interviews with the big names in South African football.

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news… and read my “Neal and Pray” column every Tuesday in www.thenewage.co.za.

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From El Nino to El OhNo: Fernando Torres, the British record signing has forgotten what it's all about

Fernando Torres. Britain’s record signing. There he was on Tuesday night, apparently playing for Chelsea. I think. He was wearing blue and had his boots on as he strolled around Stamford Bridge while Liverpool were knocking them out of the Carling Cup.
Liverpool fans loved every moment of course. They would. He was quite something for them before last year’s World Cup slump… and they got a whopping 50m (R500m) - more than doubling the 20m they paid for him - for the former Atletico Madrid striker when Chelsea made their deadline day move in January.
You could almost understand Roman Abramovich’s eagerness to break the bank (and ruin his club’s carefully planned UEFA-friendly budget) when you look at the stats for the 27-year-old who has regrown his long golden locks since the World Cup, but failed to refind his form.
At Atletico from 2001–2007 he was a budding sensation, scoring 82 goals in 214 games. At Liverpool he managed a near-sensational 65 in 102 games after his move to England in 2007. Reds will remember his first season with some fondness: 33 goals in 46 appearances. El Nino they called him then. These days he’s more of an El Nincompoop.
But at Chelsea he has three goals from 24 games. Yes. Three. Some grandmothers of my acquaintance have a higher annual scoring rate. In all competitions, he’s managed five in 32 while down the road, Robin van Persie is banging them in at a goal a game - under far more pressure at Arsenal than Torres generally faces at Chelsea.
Andy Townsend, the former Chelsea midfielder who performs with some aplomb as the resident analyst on the Premier League’s international channel every week (for South Africans, he’s the one who sits on the far right with the rugged look) has a bit to say about Mr Torres in his Daily Mail column this week.
Townsend says: “When I look at him, I see another Roman Pavlyuchenko (the rusty Russian at Spurs) - a striker who knows he is fourth choice and who looks as if he would rather be anywhere else.
“There is no nuisance value in Torres. He doesn’t rattle the centre half, chase lost causes into the corner, crash into the first row of seats after running down the full back. He’s not scoring, so what does he give the team?”
With the world’s youngest boss Andre Villas-Boas under huge pressure following Tuesday night’s defeat – the Blues have now lost three times in their last four home games – perhaps it’s time Torres at least gave the appearance of caring.
Mind you, with chairman Abramovich involved in a Russian heavyweight clash against Boris Berezovsky in the High Court, fellow striker Didier Drogba desperately seeking a move and captain John Terry being probed by the police for racist abuse, perhaps Torres is just hoping nobody will notice.
Townsend says: “You feel like watching Fernando’s matches from behind the sofa; it’s the nightmare that doesn’t seem to end.”
Torres isn’t the first striker to be cast in “A Stamford Bridge too far”… Townsend picks out a few corkers who have worn blue and turned to goo: Robert Fleck, Chris Sutton, Mateja Kezman, Andriy Shevchenko and Hernan Crespo to name but five. Nicolas Anelka has hardly sparkled while older readers may remember Adrian Mutu, the Romanian who left Chelsea under a distinctly dodgy white cloud.
Townsend concludes: “Only two people can resolve this – Torres must rediscover his form and his joy of football or can Abramovich, find a club to buy him?”
Come on Andy, he signed a five-and-a-half year contract less than a year ago. He has a personal fortune estimated at nearly 20m. And anyway, would you buy a used striker from a Russian oligarch?

The World Cup's Biggest Quote: God Willing I'm Ready Says Torres

THIS could be the single most important pre-World Cup statement made so far. Fernando Torres, the goal-getter who will lead Spain’s campaign, said today: “God willing, I'll be 100 per cent for the first game of the World Cup, for sure.”

This comes, of course, after the Liverpool striker was rushed off for an operation on his right knee in April. The average Anfield fan may not appreciate it, but Torres – the Reds’ most valuable player in a generally awful season – looks like he’ll be ready for Spain’s opening game against Switzerland on June 16 in an apparently easy Group H, which also includes Honduras and Chile.

Torres needed two operations on his knees last season, which is never good news for a 26-year-old with such lovely hair. But Vicente del Bosque will be breathing a short-term sigh of relief. A fit Torres, playing next to David Villa (fresh from his record-breaking move to Barcelona) may just wrap up this World Cup. Torres has scored 56 goals in just 79 games for Liverpool, bettering his record at Atletico Madrid, where he scored 82 in 214 before his record £20m move to England in 2007.

Torres, who insists he will stay at Liverpool next season, said: "I will do a few more days of specific work. I’m happy with my progress. Since January I've had two operations, and that isn't easy. Everything went very well with the first, and in the second the objective was to be ready between six and seven weeks, and I'm at the start of the sixth.”

As for the speculation over his Anfield future, he says: "I want to think about Spain, about winning the World Cup. Since I've been injured, the season has been over for me. I've started working morning and evening to be able to be here, thinking only of getting there.

"It's been a very difficult season. When you start a campaign you hope you will be able to fulfil your dreams, win titles – but it has been just the opposite.

"But there is always a tomorrow in football and this summer, the World Cup. I've put aside the club, the bad season, and I want to finish a difficult season in the best way possible way by making history with my country."

Torres is unlikely to feature in Spain’s three pre-tournament friendlies against Saudi Arabia and North Korea at altitude in Austria, then Poland in Murcia.

But come Spain’s big kick off at Durban’s magnificent Moses Mabhida Stadium, he’ll be one of the favourites for the World Cup’s golden boot. He grins: "Pressure? No, but I know that, along with Villa, I'm lucky enough to be one of the strikers in a team that are among the favourites, and that brings certain privileges."

The La Roja, who are the reigning European champions after their 2008 triumph, must face the runners-up from Group F at Ellis Park on June 28. That could mean Brazil, Portugal or Ivory Coast in the first knock-out round as they bid to end their World Cup jinx.

Backing up his man, Torres’s agent Jose Antonio Peto told Spain’s Punto Radio: "For the moment I can assure fans that Fernando will continue at Liverpool next season.

"Everything is down to Liverpool's attitude, but for the time being Fernando is happy at the club and has a good contract. Liverpool have not spoken to us about his future, so he is just concentrating on playing at the World Cup."

See my latest World Cup base video - New Zealand's Serengeti Estate - at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MC4UTGhD3to

The Germans are coming... and so are England. But Brazil are in Bloemfontein...

SOMEWHERE between searching for a cheese shop in the African highveld and watching Arsenal stuff Liverpool, my dad and I found a gem today. The German World Cup hotel.

Yes, there we were in the blistering African sun, about five miles from our base in Centurion, venue for the first cricket Test match between England and South Africa, innocently looking for dairy products, when suddenly we spied an oasis. A huge, ostentatious complex called the Velmore Estate (above).

"Hold on dad," I said in my journalist-cum-son way, "Isn't that where the USA are staying for the World Cup?"

"Bugger off," said dad, in his father-cum-Hitler way, "The cheese shop is just down here somewhere."

Indeed it was, about two miles further on the road to Pretoria West, just out of a mundane little suburb called Erasmia. The middle of nowhere. Believe me. And the cheese shop owners put me right: "It's not the USA, it's the Germans. They're going to be here for the World Cup. We're trying to sell them our biltong and feta product!"

They're also trying to get an acohol licence for their little coffee shop, and satellite television with all the sports channels. They know they're sitting on (or very near to) a goldmine, which will open briefly in the middle of South Africa this winter.

Yes, from the start of June until mid-July, Michael Ballack and his Germans will be staying in the middle of nowhere, about 15 miles outside of Pretoria, 30 miles from Oliver Tambo international airport and 35 miles from Johannesburg.

But what a middle of nowhere the Velmore is. For my German readers: "Achtung! Das hotel ist gross!"

Bloody huge it is. Two hotels actually. The Velmore and the Velmore Grande. They sit on the banks of the sometimes Amazonian Hennops River, which can be reduced to a muddy trickle in winter here.

Sandwiched between a typical South African homestead with washing on the line and a nursery full of highveld daisies, it's a dream. Like Pennyhill Park, where England's rugby players prepare for their big games in Bagshot, it has everything a modern sports team could ask for. And a little bit more.

Visitors should not be put off by the early appearance of two emus as you negotiate your way through security. Not African ostriches. Bloody antipodean emus. I ask you...

Beyond the exotic birds lies paradise. Two gorgeous five star hotels, one next to the other. A spa to die for, as good as Pennyhill Park with an Ozone bed. Three huge banqueting halls, a marriage chapel, a swimming pool with a sandy beach 600 miles from the coast and a long stretch of lawn next to the river which will soon echo to the sound of German international footballers in top gear.

Ishmael Maja, the supervisor from Polokwane, another World Cup venue, showed us round in a golf buggy, telling us: "We know it will be hard work having millionaire footballers here for six weeks, but we are ready. We can handle anything. If they ask, they will get it."

Endless well-dressed, articulate staff attend your every move, the rooms are sumptuous (at R1,500 a night for a standard bed per night, they should be, that's about £120, going up to £2,500 for a luxury room, about £200, which is pricey for South Africa) and the decor is stunning - they only opened the second, grande hotel in November.

Clearly England have the upper hand, about an hour's drive away in Rustenburg's Bafokeng Sports Palace, where numerous training grounds lie in wait outside the doors of their hotel. But they got in first. Fabio Capello, knowing his side would get Group C and a first group game in Rustenburg, he got the prime venue for preparation. It boasts huge mirrors, which David Beckham may enjoy, and is literally fit for a king, Kgosi Leruo Molotlegio, the monarch of the Bafokeng tribe (who earn a significant amount from the local platinum mines) had the place built.

But the Germans haven't done badly. Unlike the seaside bases booked by France (Knysna) and Japan (George), they'll be at altitude (about 1,300m, like a low-lying ski resort) and they can scoot down to the coast for their sea-level qualifiers, just like England.

The prevailing wisdom, gleaned from our rugby and cricketers, is that World Cup preparation should be done at altitude. Then, even when you pop down to sea-level, as England will do in Cape Town versus Algeria and Port Elizabeth against Slovenia, you keep the high red-blood corpuscle count and are able to maintain your acclimatisation to the thinner air up here.

That's why Argentina will be based at Pretoria University's High Performance Centre and Australia are headed for the stunning Kloofzicht Lodge in Muldersdrift, near Johannesburg.

The USA are based at Irene Country Lodge and Italy at Leriba Lodge, both a stone's throw from where England's cricketers will start their Test series on Wednesday.

All and all, it makes for boom time in these parts. Money is pouring in to Centurion and the surrounding areas in the 35 miles between Johannesburg and Pretoria.

Nobody has chosen to base themselves in Cape Town (the only city where it rains in the South African winter) and only Holland have decided opted for the bright lights of mid-city (the Sandton Sun, where England's cricketers are currently housed, watching the BBC's Sports Personality of the Year awards).

And while our cricketers will be lamenting another massive thunderstorm tonight, our footballers need not worry. It doesn't rain here in winter.

England and Germany appear to have the perfect preparation for the World Cup all lined up. Unlike Brazil, who are headed for gloomy Bloemfontein and the Slovenians, based in Johannesburg.

But watch out for Spain. The Euro 2006 champions have booked in to Hunter's Rest in Rustenburg after their impressive unbeaten qualifying run. Another oasis.

In sport, as in life, preparation is everything. These may seem mere details but come June, all this could be vital. And the WAGs can go to Sun City. Perfect. England, Germany or Spain it is. And Arsenal for the Premier League after the weekend's topsy-turvy goings-on.