World Cup Final 2014: SUPER MARIO SEALS THE DEAL for Germany... and rightly so

Highlight of the night: the sun sets over Christ the Redeemer above Rio

Dreadful. Goalless. Disappointing. Poetic commentator Peter Drury can show us all the glorious sunsets in the world, but the World Cup Final simply let us down.

The long-awaited winner: Mario Gotze scores

In the end it was decided by a single moment of predatory finishing from Mario Gotze, the 22-year-old supersub from Bayern Munich.

And that was only right. After a fascinating tournament in Brazil filled with shocks and surprises, Argentina successfully sucked the life out of the Germans and left us bemoaning on the second 0-0 final in history, with the USA in 1994 the only previous example.

It’s harsh blaming all this on the Argies, but in truth, look at their record. Like Spain in South Africa four years ago, they managed to stay goalless throughout the knock-out stages, over seven hours of defensive buttressing.

But up front, despite an embarrassment of striking riches, two goals in four games. Ugh. Lionel Messi showed glimpses, but never enough to persuade anybody of my age he’s another Pele or Diego Maradona.

His highly-rated, over-priced strike partners Gonzalo Higuain – who missed one and had another ruled out (rightly) for off-side – and Kun Aguero were largely unimpressive too.

But then what can we say about the Germans? Top scorers in 2010. 17 in Brazil. The record-breaking 16-goal Miroslav Klose went off before the 90 minutes were up, Thomas Muller – their leading scorer for both tournaments – was painfully lacking.

In the end, it came down to extra-time. Germany had most of the possession in the first half but shut up shop in the second. Argentina did little to set the pulses racing. All commentator Drury, the football poet, could offer was nice pictures of Christ the Redeemer with the sun going down.

He said: “If you don’t find that view breathtaking, there’s something missing in your humanity.” There was. A goal. Three World Cup finals going to extra-time in a row? After a tournament where former winners Spain, Italy and England went home early?

No cause to celebrate: Higuain after his disallowed goal

Where Tim Krul came on as a penalty specialist? Where Cameroonians head-butted each other? Where two African sides reached the knock-out stages for the first time? Where Neymar broke a vertebra and Tim Howard saved more shots in one game than anygoalkeeper before? The old Suarez bite and ban and move to Barcelona?

Great stuff. It started with Holland 5, Spain 1 and, in truth, ended with that unbelievable semi-final: Germany 7, Brazil 1.

But always, lurking in the background, Alejandro Sabella, the man who played for Sheffield United and Leeds back in the 80s. Perhaps that’s where he learned the unbeautiful game. Under him, Messi is too often reduced to a midfield worker ant. Under him, when Lavezzi starts running at the opposition too much, off he goes. Under him, Argentina are little more than Stoke City on steroids.

In a tournament where a record NINE of the knock-out games went to extra-time, we were forced to endure another 30 minutes of stale-mate. Italian referee Nicola Rizzoli managed to keep all 22 players on the pitch, though Kramer was felled by a hefty Garay shoulder and Neuer nearly beheaded Higuain.

Extra-time gave us chances for subsitutes Schurrle and Palacio but no goal. Until SEVEN minutes from penalties, Bayern Munich's Mario Gotze produced a chest-and-volley finish to provide Germany with the edge they needed.

It was the first goal Argentina had conceded since the group stages. The first time EVER they had let in during World Cup extra-time. And the final kick of the match belonged to Lionel Messi, the man who threatened to eclipse the great Diego Maradona. He didn't. He ballooned his free-kick over the bar... and probably on the head of Christ the Redeemer.

Moment of triumph: Germany lift the World Cup

For the first time in history, a European nation has won the World Cup in South America. And who can say they didn't deserve it?

Messi was awarded the Golden Ball as best player of the tournament, but it was hardly deserved given his performances in the knock-out stages. Both Jerome Boateng and Bastian Schweinsteiger were magnificent throughout. James Rodriguez of Colombia takes home the golden boot while Manuel Neueur, the German giant, deservedly carried off the Golden Glove as keeper of the World Cup.

SOCCERBALLZ! my innovative football show on www.ballz.co.za with Mark Fish airs every Thursday from 9am-11am. See Ballz' channel for our growing library of fascinating football interviews with the big names. Ballz will also provide daily World Cup updates from next week.

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news and read my “Neal and Pray” column every Tuesday in www.thenewage.co.za.

THAT'S FINAL: Argentina and Germany head to Rio but there the similarity ends

No redemption: Brazil's defeat against German saw their
most famous landmarks head off for greener pastures

THERE will never be two more contrasting semi-finals than the matches which sent Germany and Argentina to Sunday's World Cup final in Rio de Janeiro.


In keeping with this topsy-turvy tournament, the teutonic Germans stunned us all with a record 7-1 victory over the hosts before the Argies barged their way to a goalless victory over Holland and edged through on a penalty shoot-out.


Tuesday night in Belo Horizonte reduced Brazil to a sea of tears, after 29 minutes Joachim Loew's men had scored FIVE and a record 35.6m tweets helped record the world's utter surprise. Wednesday night in Sao Paulo reduced the entire football-speaking globe to tears; after 99 minutes Holland managed their first shot on target and a record billion yawns greeted their woeful exit.

There were those who claimed the first semi-final was an eight-goal mis-match. Not a contest. And there were those who felt the second was a fascinating battle of tactics.


That, of course, is utter rubbish. Tuesday night was a magnificent footballing occasion. Wednesday will have had the newly-converted Yanks switching off in their thousands.


And the truth is this: One extreme led to the other. Brazil and Big Phlop Scolari will NEVER recover from the ignominy of that record defeat, the chorus of boos, the almost apologetic non-celebration of the German sixth and seventh goals. The Selecao may point to the back fracture suffered by top-scorer Neymar and the suspension of captain Thiago Silva, but in truth they were a team of chronic bad backs and Fred, perhaps the weakest striker ever to wear the famous shirt.


Scolari sent them out unprepared; Silva's deputy Dante looked like he'd never met stand-in captain David Luiz and as the Germans fired at will,  Julio Cesar looked like a goalkeeper incapable of getting a game with Harry Redknapp at Queens Park Rangers and the world fell apart: the Samba became the Sombre.


O Globo, the Rio sports newspaper, gave EVERY member of the team 0 out of 10 for their performance, Scolari admitted it was the worst night of his life and Luiz was one of many of the Selecao reduced to simply apologizing to a nation threatening to boil over in anger. And of course, we had a few nice pictures of Neymar, presumably happy not to be there, in a recent 7-Up lemonade advertisement.

Utter devastation. There's no coming back from 7-1. That's just unthinkable. Losing is one thing. Getting obliterated is another.


So the next night, having seen a nation self-destruct in 90 minutes of mayhem, both Argentina and the Netherlands knew exactly what NOT to do. Attack. Both sides set up to avoid defeat at all costs. Perhaps wary of what the Germans might do to them on Sunday, they almost seemed to invite the opposition to score first.


The Dutch, who neither scored nor conceded a goal in the last four hours of their World Cup saga, were simply appalling. Arjen Robben produced little of note, Robin van Persie played despite stomach problems and it showed. He was KAK. Set plays came straight out of pub football, passing movements broke down like Putco buses and oranges played like lemons.


Argentina were little better, reducing the great Lionel Messi to a deep role that saw him trouble the penalty area just ONCE in the second half, let alone the goal of Jasper Cillessen.


And how apt that Cillessen, spectacularly replaced by Newcastle's nondescript goalkeeper Tim Krul in the memorable penalty shoot-out win over Costa Rica, failed to save a penalty in the shoot-out as Argentina roared home after failures from Ron Vlaar and Wesley Sneijder for the Dutch.


Sergio Romero, the workmanlike Argentine stopper, will get the credit for those two saves and rightly so. But with eight goals in six games, the much-vaunted striking combinations have simply failed to impress. Kun Aguero and Gonzalo Higuain have been little better than Fred and Hulk.


So we go in to Sunday's showdown with Germany the clear favorites given their incredible semi-final triumph. And this despite the fact a European nation has NEVER won the World Cup in Latin America.

Argentina may spring a surprise. But remember the Italia 1990 final? Then, too, a below-par Argentina somehow clawed their way to Rome and succumbed 1-0 to the Germans. It was one of the worst games of football you could hope to witness, with referee shoving rather than goals apparently the priority for Maradona's men.


But they could yet turn this around. If Messi is freed to work his magic, if the little flea finally gets the chance to prove he CAN thrive in the biggest game of all, this World Cup could yet get the finish it deserves.


The magic against the machine. Let it be so, Mr Sabella. For football's sake.

SOCCERBALLZ! my innovative football show on www.ballz.co.za with Mark Fish airs every Thursday from 9am-11am. See Ballz' channel for our growing library of fascinating football interviews with the big names. Ballz will also provide daily World Cup updates from next week.

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news and read my “Neal and Pray” column every Tuesday in www.thenewage.co.za.

Injured Neymar hugs his Brazilian team-mates: scenes from Fortaleza airport last night

These are the scenes from Fortaleza airport last night where Neymar junior, suffering with a fractured vertebra, was able to hug his Brazilian team-mates.


Neymar was injured by Colombia's Juan Camilo Zuniga late in the 2-1 quarter-final win and was rushed to hospital, with coach Filipe Scolari claiming his star striker - with four goals and an assist - had been "hunted for the last three games."

Global impact: Argentine fans offer their condolences
before tonight's QF against Belgium 

With FIFA announcing they will "investigate the circumstances of Neymar's injury", the 22-year-old was well enough to sit up and chat to his team-mates, who will also be without suspended captain Thiago Silva against Germany in what promises to be an epic semi-final on Tuesday.


Neymar's x-rays have been screed on Brazilian television and the media have paid more attention to their fallen hero than a win inspired by Silva's early scrambled goal and a superb David Luiz free-kick.

Accidental? Zuniga fouls Neymar, who cracked a vertebra

Neymar apparently flew back to Rio with the team and was taken by ambulance Brazil's base camp. Spanish referee Carlos Velasco Carballo has been criticized (and Zuniga has allegedly received death threats) for failing to control a match which featured 54 fouls — 31 from Brazil, 8 on Colombian Golden Boot leader James Rodriguez. He issued four yellow cards but none for the almost routine fouls on Rodriguez.


Barcelona star Neymar will be out for "four to six weeks" and will not require surgery.

The big guns go through: My predictions made after Group Stages: 11 out of 12 results correct so far!

SOCCERBALLZ! my innovative football show on www.ballz.co.za with Mark Fish airs every Thursday from 9am-11am. See Ballz' channel for our growing library of fascinating football interviews with the big names. Ballz will also provide daily World Cup updates from next week.

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news and read my “Neal and Pray” column every Tuesday in www.thenewage.co.za.

World Cup watching just got a whole lot easier: But now it's time to find out who will make the cut

World Cup fever: this from the US, where viewing figures are huge

THE World Cup in Brazil is about to get a lot easier. For the hard-pressed non-football-loving spouses, abandoned kids, dogs… and sleep-deprived fans. But not for the players, of course.

With all 32 sides now two games in to their Group phase, we begin that four-eyed segment of the greatest footballing event on earth, with the third and final games played SIMULTANEOUSLY over four days.

And we even get a day off on Friday, a 24-hour breathing space before the remaining 16 nations begin the knock-out phase on Saturday, June 28.

For South Africans, deprived of Bafana Bafana thanks to a memorable own goal in Adis Ababa (and a whole lot of other stuff, but reports in Nigeria today suggest Steve Keshi is on his way, walking across the ocean), this tournament is about AFRICA.

After a first round which saw just one win (for Ivory Coast over Japan) and a draw (for Nigeria against lowly Iran) with three gut-wrenching defeats, things are looking up for the BIG FIVE who qualified through CAF’s tough-as-teak system.

As the only federation where group winners are forced to play-off, our five survivors have in some ways the toughest path to each World Cup, with 55 nations cut down to a mere handful.

And that toughness showed in the second round, with Ghana leading the way. Their 2-2 draw with FIFA’s No2 ranked team Germany is now regarded as the best game of Brazil 2014 so far. Andre Ayew and Asamoah Gyan did the scoring, but former Free State Stars defender Jonathan Mensah played a vital role too, as did Ghana’s goalkeeper Fatau Dauda, thrown in to the fray despite playing just twice for Orlando Pirates last season.

Never a truer world: earliest ever exit for England

With South Africans finally finding somebody to cheer for (even our referee Daniel Bennett dropped out after getting injured in Brazil) the African nations bounced back strongly. Nigeria saw off Bosnia 1-0 before Algeria crushed South Korea 4-2, sparking huge celebrations across the continent (and, no doubt, in North Korea).

The second round saw African nations win 2, draw 1 and lose 2. We shall not talk about the Cameroon too much. Shipping four goals, having Alex Song sent off and two players fighting on the pitch can be in NO WAY considered a critique of long-serving CAF president Issa Hayatou. Of course not.

Anyway, the upshot of it all is this: Nigeria have FOUR points; the Ivory Coast and Algeria have THREE points,  Ghana have ONE point. They are all still alive. The first three go in to their final games in SECOND position in their groups, Ghana look unlikely to qualify after the epic USA 2-2 Portugal. Cameroon are out of it, but then so too are great nations like defending champions Spain, England, debutants Bosnia and erm… Australia.

But from a situation where it looked possible Africa would suffer their worst-ever World Cup, we now have a chance of seeing FOUR through to the last 16, where France are emerging as the form side, Netherlands and Germany look strong and ALL the South Americans are looking safe.

Oh, and there’s Costa Rica, with wins over former winners Italy and England. They could yet prove to be THE surprise package in a World Cup already full of shocks, comebacks (eight at the last count) goals and supersubs (15 replacements had scored at the last count).

We should, of course, consider the death of Ibrahim Toure in Manchester after losing his battle against cancer. The loss of the 28-year-old younger brother of Yaya, 31, and Kolo, 33, has put the Ivory Coast under a unique set of pressures. We can only wish the family well.

Africa now has a record of Played 10, won three, drawn two and lost five. Asia can offer only Played 8, won 0, drawn 3 and lost 5, their worst display since 1998. One more win and the CAF nations will have enjoyed their most successful World Cup in history. That in itself should give us SOMETHING to smile about.

SOCCERBALLZ! my innovative football show on www.ballz.co.za with Mark Fish airs every Thursday from 9am-11am. See Ballz' channel for our growing library of fascinating football interviews with the big names. Ballz will also provide daily World Cup updates from next week.

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news and read my “Neal and Pray” column every Tuesday in www.thenewage.co.za.

The collapse of an empire: sorry Spain the first major casualties of the 2014 World Cup

Spainful: Casillas concedes against Chile

THE reign of Spain falls mainly on the plane home. That incredible wave of Spanish conquest dating back to 2008 is OVER. Vicente del Bosque’s World Cup winners broke all records in their bid to return home rapidly from Brazil.

Walloped 5-1 by Hup Hup Holland in their opening Group B game and convincingly ousted 2-0 by a super hot Chile in their second, the football-speaking world had a field day with the kings of tika-taka, ignoring those 2008 and 2012 European Championships wins either side of their dour 2010 World Cup triumph.

It’s unfair. We all love to see the giants fall. But this was a Jack and the Beanstalk return to earth for a Spanish side which conceded just two goals in South Africa four years ago (and scored a record low of seven to conquer the world). In just thee halves of football – 135 minutes – they conceded SEVEN, Iker Casillas was exposed and without Carles Puyol, they seemed incapable of stopping the rot.

Seven-goal champs: Spain in 2010

Diego Costa, the Brazilian striker who opted for Spain after two friendlies for his homeland last year, turned out to be about as popular as Kingston Nkatha at Kaizer Chiefs, as effective as Ndumiso Mabena at Orlando Pirates. In short, a huge boo-boo.

Ironically, it was soon-to-depart South African head coach Gordon Igesund who said in Australia last month: “Spain have become too predictable” as he explained Bafana’s surprise 1-0 friendly win over Espana at Soccer City, venue of their greatest triumph.

Even more ironically, it would not surprise this writer if Del Bosque now becomes a target to succeed Igesund, given his CV. But there is a rarely-mentioned detail in the 63-year-old Spaniard’s career: he took over Spain in 2008 only after Luis Aragones had led them to their first European Championship success.

Ultimately Del Bosque was undone by his reluctance to change a winning set-up: he stuck with the old guard and it worked for the years – until their record-breaking demise in Brazil. No champions have ever lost their first two games in defending the World Cup.

It’s one thing to see World Cup winners fall at the first hurdle (as France and Italy did before them) it’s quite another to see such a great side, filled with Barcelona and Real Madrid all-conquering giants, slip out of the tournament without a fight.

Though they managed a couple of shots late on, it was Arsenal’s Santi Cazorla, on the periphery of the great Spanish successes, who produced most of the late urgency after coming on as a substitute.

I said before this tournament that South American sides would dominate, pointing out that Europeans have never won on the continent. I said too that Chile (and Colombia) could spring a surprise or two.

A crest-fallen Del Bosque, 63, said: "We were inferior to both Netherlands and Chile. It is a sad day for all of us. We are sorry we didn't succeed, now is too early to analyse where we go from here.

"The first goal really buoyed them and they really got into our faces. They got the goals and gave us a mountain to climb. We were too timid in the first half and did not react sufficiently in the second."

But as we glory in the fall of the giants, joined at the early exit door by brave Australia (beaten 3-2 in a cracker by the Netherlands) it’s worth remembering other big guns could soon join them – notably England, who cannot accept anything less than a win over Uruguay.

Ouch: last look at that Spanish defence

As the smoke clears, it would be hard to say that the South American big guns – Brazil, Argentina and Uruguay – are in scintillating form on their home continent. Holland and Germany look the form sides with Aarjen Robben, Robin van Persie and Thomas Muller leading the race for the Golden Boot with three goals each so far.

But I suspect Argentina will get stronger and stronger. Brazil, with Neymar isolated up front thanks to the incompetence of Fred, Hulk and Jo, have a lot of work to do after their 0-0 draw with Mexico.

But this World Cup remains a fascinating journey. Scoring at a rate of nearly four goals a game, this is a tournament marked by attacking exuberance and super substitutions. Long may it continue.

And I leave you with this thought: were Spain single-handedly responsible for lowering the tone of the 2010 World Cup in South Africa? Tika-taka may be great for the purists, but the lack of direct, exciting, thrusting football can be blamed on those pesky Spaniards four years ago. Germany were a far more attractive proposition and I said so at the time as they scored 21 goals and crashed out in the semi-finals.

Giants are not always attractive. They can even be mistaken for ogres. I for one am not sorry to see this particular Espana thrown in the works.

Disgrace: Assou-Ekotto and Moukanjo square up

Later last night, we had the unedifying spectacle of Cameroon crashing out and joining Spain and Australia in the queue at the Brazil exit door. Going down to Croatia 4-0 is one thing. But the unedifying spectacle of Benoit Assou-Ekotto and Benjamin Moukanjo squaring up to each other before the Spurs man (currently on loan at QPR) threw in a head-butt was too much.




Earlier former Arsenal man Alex Song, now at Barcelona, had been sent off for a ridiculous off-the-ball swing which left Cameroon coach Volker Finke summing up his night thus: "It's clear we have to find the reasons what's going on because such behaviour is really disgusting, it won't do, it's impossible. There will be repercussions."


All this of course, happening on television screens around the world to Cameroon, the nation which gave us the infamous son-of-a-sultan Issa Hayatou, who has run CAF, the African Football Federation, since 1987. Little wonder Africa is going backwards internationally if the dictator can't even keep his own nation in order. The current CAF situation in Brazil: Played 6, Won 1, Drawn 1, Lost 4. That's relegation form.

SOCCERBALLZ! my innovative football show on www.ballz.co.za with Mark Fish airs every Thursday from 9am-11am. See Ballz' channel for our growing library of fascinating football interviews with the big names. Ballz will also provide daily World Cup updates from next week.

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news and read my “Neal and Pray” column every Tuesday in www.thenewage.co.za.

OFFICIAL: For Uruguay, Italy and England, it's Group D for Death. Argentina have it easiest...South Africa would have been the WORST side there

Have mercy: Rio's statue of Christ looms over World Cup

Less than a week before the World Cup kicks off on Thursday night, we have a NEW GROUP OF DEATH.

We always knew it was going to be tough for Ghana at this World Cup. Drawn in Group G with Germany, Portugal and the USA, we suspected the Black Stars would struggle to finish in the top two after narrowly failing to reach the semi-finals in South Africa 2010.

But today we can reveal Group G is NOT QUITE as nasty as Group D (Uruguay, England, Italy and Costa Rica) as we count down to the 2014 World Cup tournament which starts with hosts Brazil v Croatia on Thursday.

There is only ONE scientific way to rate a World Cup qualification group. It goes like this: add up the combined FIFA rankings of the four sides involved. The highest score equals the EASIEST group, the lowest score suggests the MOST DIFFICULT pool (otherwise known as the GROUP OF DEATH).

With FIFA’s last set of rankings before the big kick-off released yesterday, now is the time to check just WHICH TEAMS have the easiest task when it comes to reaching the last 16.

On that basis, with Costa Rica up SIX places to 28^th and England moving up one while Portugal slipped a place to 4th in the latest rankings, Group D can now be classified as the toughest group with 54 points while Group G is the second hardest pool with a total of 56 points.

Argentina’s Group F – shared with Bosnia, Iran and Nigeria – is officially the easiest pool on 113 with Group H (Belgium, Algeria, Russia, South Korea) next easiest with a total world ranking of 109.

It’s also worth noting Group D contains the most top-ten teams (Three: Uruguay, Italy and England), while Group H (Belgium, Algeria, Russia, Korea Republic) offers no nation in that elite group.

The world’s top 15 teams are ALL involved, Ukraine (16^th) are the highest ranked nation failing to qualify. Denmark (23^rd) are the next highest-ranked failures followed by Slovenia (25^th) and, surprisingly, Scotland (27^th).

The lowest ranked team in the tournament is Australia at 62 with South Korea at 56. If South Africa, now ranked 65 after their draws against the Aussies and New Zealand last month, had qualified, they would have been officially the WORST team at the tournament.

GROUP BY GROUP

GROUP A

Brazil 3

Croatia 18

Mexico 20

Cameroon 56

TOTAL: 97

GROUP B

Spain 1

Netherlands 15

Chile 14

Australia 62

TOTAL: 92

GROUP C

Colombia 8

Greece 12

Cote D’Ivoire 23

Japan 46

TOTAL: 89

GROUP D

Uruguay 7

Costa Rica 28

England 10

Italy 9

TOTAL: 54

GROUP E

Switzerland 6

Ecuador 26

France 16

Honduras 33

TOTAL: 81

GROUP F

Argentina 5

Bosnia 21

Iran 43

Nigeria 44

TOTAL: 113

GROUP G

Germany 2

Portugal 4

Ghana 37

USA 13

TOTAL: 56

GROUP H

Belgium 11

Algeria 22

Russia 19

South Korea 57

TOTAL: 109 

Ghana's finest spells trouble for Ronaldo: yes the World Cup is here… and these are the 16 nations who will survive the opening cull

Doctors orders: Ronaldo's injury is apparently spiritual

THERE can be no better way to resume this writer's World Cup love affair. Let's deal first with the cracking tale about the Ghanaian witchdoctor who claims he has personally caused Cristiano Ronaldo's injury problems in the build-up to Brazil 2014.

The greatest sporting event in the world (shut up Olympians) gets underway next Thursday with the hosts taking on Croatia.


But for Africa, Ghana's fate is vital. One of their leading traditional practioners Nana Kwaku Bonsam is well aware of how important Portgual's No7 is in Group G.

Four short years ago in South Africa, Luis Suarez's hand denied Ghana a record-breaking place in the semi-finals of the Copa Mondiale. There cannot be a repeat. Dr Bonsam (apparently his full name means "Wednesday's Devil") has done his research. He knows Germany (2), Portugal (3) and the USA (14) are higher ranked than his own nation (38) and a little extra help may be required.

So on Wednesday when the Portuguese FA confirmed Ronaldo is still struggling with a muscle problem in his left thigh sustained in Real Madrid's Champions League-winning campaign, Dr Bonsam announced on a radio station in Kumasi: “I know all about Cristiano's injury, I’m working on him. I said four months ago I will work on Ronaldo seriously and rule him out of the World Cup or at least prevent him from playing against Ghana.

Beyond help: Ronaldo is a threat to Ghana

"The best thing I can do is give him an injury. I am very serious about it. Last weekend, I went around looking for four dogs and I got them to be used in manufacturing a special spirit called Kahwiri Kapam.

“This injury can never be cured by any medical doctor, they can never see what is causing the injury because it is spiritual. Today, it is his knee; tomorrow it is his thigh; next day it is something else."

Ghana play Portugal - reputed to be a bit of a one-man side by most pundits - in their final match of Group G in Brasilia on 26 June. We will find out then if the good doctor has made his muti count. Here in South Africa, we are not skeptical about these things. It's a serious matter.

Ah, four years ago. That opening goal of the first African World Cup scored by beautiful Kaizer Chiefs winger Simphiwe Tshabalala. An opening draw against Mexico. Hope alive… then the dark magic struck. Ironically it was Suarez and his golden-locked mate Diego Forlan who laid Bafana Bafana low.

Even victory against 1998 world champions France wasn't enough to put South Africa in to the last 16. For the first time in history, the hosts went out in the group stages. Ah, the pain.

Four years on, much has changed. I came to that World Cup fresh from working 4am-2pm in London, where a daily congestion charge of around R100 and a dull life were squeezing me dry. Four years on, I am free of colonialists who close successful newspapers, I have escaped calls from Sky News asking me to talk about skeleton bob-sleighing at 2am, I live in the nation where you can still see lions kill and the monthly etoll bill comes to less than a week of traveling in to London.


Unrestrained by ignorant editors and West Ham fans, I can write what I like. And this much needs to be said: South Africa should be at this World Cup. With Ethiopia docked three points in a qualification group that also featured Botswana and the Central African Republic, Bafana should at the very least have had a crack at the play-off against Nigeria.

Instead that magnificent headed own goal from Bernard Parker - the PSL's top scorer with 10 goals in a season which saw him last net in February - proves that muti is NOT dead in football.


Four years on, there is no Paul the octopus to amuse us. Yet. Apparently the aquatic prophet has gone to his own nirvana, known as "Calamari" in some quarters. I'm sure the Brazilians will pull out an indigenous golden lion tamarin to help us predict the outcome.


But what can be said, without reference to witchdoctors or, worse, Sammy Kuffour's labored predictions, is that NO EUROPEAN SIDE HAS EVER WON THE WORLD CUP IN LATIN AMERICA.


Four years ago, Germany were the best side on show, Holland gritted their way past Brazil in an epic come-from-behind quarter-final in Port Elizabeth… and Spain eventually won it, scoring just seven goals.


Those three European big guns are, naturally, back in Brazil. But this time we have the magical South Americans to throw at them on home soil. Chile, Colombia and Uruguay are there with the big guns, Brazil and Uruguay. Who dares to bet against the hosts after their Confederations Cup triumph?

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's settle for sorting out the qualifiers for the last 16, that vital first step.

Group A, Brazil and Mexico will qualify with Croatia and Cameroon - barring a remarkable revival from Samuel Eto'o - dropping out. Mexico needed a play-off against New Zealand to get to Brazil, Croatia could push them hard, though many will pray for the Cameroonionians.

Group B offers better news for Europe with champions Spain and  beaten 2010 finalists the Netherlands favored. Chile might spring a surprise, but having seen Australia draw 1-1 with a makeshift Bafana last week, it's two out of three.

Group C offers Africa's best hope of serious impact. Didier Drogba and Gervinho led the Cote D'Ivoire to a 2-1 victory over El Salvador in front of 18,000 in Texas last night after last week's unhappy warm-up defeat against Bosnia. The Ivory Coast - with the rested Yaya Toure at the forefront - are expected to progress with Colombia, Greece and Japan will go home.

Group D? England have never failed to reach the knock-out stages at the finals, but this time, surely Uruguay and Italy will test that record, with Costa Rica bringing up the rear. Mario Balotelli is reassuring on this: "England are not rivals to Italy. They cannot win the World Cup." Fact.

Group E is the weakest of the lot. Switzerland and France come up against Honduras and Ecuador, who drew 2-2 with England in Miami last night. Sure, the Swiss were the only side to beat Spain in 2010 and they enjoy a spectacularly high FIFA ranking, probably thanks to uncle Sepp. But I'll go for France and Ecuador.

Group F will no doubt be dominated by Argentina's top class strike force (we could even see Lionel Messi on the bench) with Bosnia, Nigeria and Iran fighting it out for second. Ironically, the two favorites to replace Gordon Igesund as South Africa's head coach will battle it out. Carlos Queiroz has worked miracles in Tehran while Steve Keshi has done much the same out of Lagos. I'm taking the 2013 AFCON winners and reigning African Champions to roar in to the last 16.

Group G is clearly the group of death, full of fatal threats. Any good witchdoctor will tell you Ghana need a bit of magic to finish in the top two with Germany, Portugal and the Americans to contend with. Sadly, I think Ghana may struggle against Europe's 2nd and 3rd best sides… unless Ronaldo is ruled out of course.

Group H sees everyone's new favorites Belgium (who should really thank a former colony once known as the Congo for a lot of their emerging talent) ready to go further than ever before with Algeria, Russia and South Korea in the battle, presumably, for second. Actually, though they have of big names these days, the Belgians are no certainty. This is probably the hardest group to call. Belgium and Russia? Probably.

So that's it. My final 16. Feel free to have a go if I get it all wrong. I pray an African side - probably the Ivory Coast - will reach the last four. But for me, it's all about who gets to the final with Brazil. Argentina, surely?

SOCCERBALLZ! my innovative football show on www.ballz.co.za with Mark Fish airs every Thursday from 9am-11am. See Ballz' channel for our growing library of fascinating football interviews with the big names. Ballz will also provide daily World Cup updates from next week.

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Australia 1-1 South Africa: good result, but no need for a hero's welcome

Scorer: Ayanda Patosi

Gordon Igesund, take a bow. You failed at AFCON, you didn’t qualify for the World Cup, we were a laughing stock at CHAN and lost 5-0 to Brazil. But in Sydney yesterday, Bafana Bafana confounded Brazil-bound Australia.

A 1-1 draw against the Socceroos is not going to spark a hero’s parade at Oliver Tambo International but with New Zealand to come this week, it wasn’t a bad result given the circumstances.

Blitzed by withdrawals and heading towards the end of his contract, South Africa’s head coach gave Australia the worst possible send-off to the World Cup next month. They are drawn in something of a Group of Death with Chile first up, followed by the Netherlands and champions Spain, who haven’t lost a major tournament in three attempts.

If they can’t beat Bafana, with Thabo Nthethe and a grieving Tower Mathoho at the back, they are unlikely to get much out of that trio.

At this point, a special mention for Mulomowandau “Mouth of the Lion” Mathoho. While his multi-capped Kaizer Chiefs team-mates chose to take a holiday rather than representing the nation, our Tower chose to travel to Australia and when his cousin died he stayed to play in Sydney – he will return home today for the funeral.

That takes some guts. And Mathoho showed plenty of that as the Australians dominated the early exchanges. Senzo Meyiwa – watched by habitual No 1 Itumeleng Khune (he confirmed as much to me on twitter) – made six saves in the first 20 minutes and the Orlando Pirates stopper was excellent if unorthodox throughout.

His one mistake came just after Ayanada Patosi’s excellent curling goal for Bafana. Caught by a looping cross, he forgot just how high little Tim Cahill can jump. Bang, 1-1. Everton will confirm Cahill can confound with his head, despite his lack of height.

There was barely time to take a breath between the two goals which marked this final friendly for Australia. But there was plenty of time to take stock of Igesund’s new-look Bafana.

The stupid row with Igesund over Thulani Serero’s injury appears to have been forgotten. The Ajax Ere Divisie winner flew all the way Down Under and shone in midfield, where he will anchor South Africa’s engine room long after Gordon departs.

With Thuso Phala of SuperSport United and Mamelodi Sundowns title-winner Hlompho Kekana quiet, Serero got through a lot of work – and took a look of heavy challenges – but emerged unbowed.

Igesund said: “The journey starts now. This is a competitive bunch of players, they will go places. 

"SAFA’s vision is to be No 3 in Africa and among the top 20 in the FIFA world rankings and these boys will play a major role in the realisation of that dream.

"This tour will mark the beginning of a new era in South African football.

“I am very excited with what I have seen from them in the few days we have been together. They are eager to learn and want to leave a lasting impression.

“I now hope to take this momentum to New Zealand and if they produce the same form, we will enter the Africa Cup of Nations qualifiers on a high. I have massive belief in this squad. The players have the right attitude, are talented and they know what they want.”

But let’s not fool ourselves. This was a good result for Bafana but not a great performance. Too often the ball was wasted in midfield, possession was lost far too easily – and despite the muscular efforts of Bournemouth’s Tokelo Rantie, there was no sign of a revival up front for South Africa’s blank-shooting strikers.

What we did see was that the great “legends” of Bafana – who spectacularly failed to achieve qualification for the World Cup despite Ethiopia being docked three points during qualifying – are not badly missed.

There is depth in South African football. And we have young talent like Siyanda Xulu at Rostov, Peterborough’s Kagiso Nthle and AmaTuks Buhle Makhwanazi still to come.

So there is light at the end of the Bafana tunnel, whether Igesund departs when his contract expires in August or not. But for Australia? I won’t be betting on them in Brazil!

GORDON OUT! A night of record-breaking shame at Soccer City as Brazil give Bafana FIVE

THREE AND EASY: Neymar produced a hat-trick in Brazil's 5-0 win

IT was a night to forget. The shame of Soccer City. A night when South African football fans were praying for a bit of load-shedding long before the end of Brazil’s record 5-0 thrashing of Bafana Bafana.

There are excuses. Starting with the mediocre Thabo Nthethe and making him captain for the night was just one strand in the complicated mess that is South African football. Siyanda Xulu came on for an injured Bongani Khumalo but was clearly demotivated by his inxplicable relegation to the bench.

This wasn’t a defence. It was a shambles. Thabo Matlaba was AWFUL. Neymar must have thought he was playing against a pub team.

Everywhere we look, youngsters are passed over for veterans who have achieved little in the national shirt. And we had Andile Jali, Dean Furman, Khumalo and Tokelo Rantie starting for their country when they are struggling to get a game in the lower reaches of European football.

Yes, we must work on development. Yes we must find talent. But to pick THIS side on THIS night? No Oupa Manyisa when he dominates the PSL? Then bring him on at right wing? Ridiculous. We have no international scout to confirm internet rumours about our foreign-based players. We have no answers to the rampant favouritism which has dogged so many Bafana coaches.

It was awful. Brazil barely had to raise a sweat. Missed passes, poor control, general confusion. It was all there. Sports Minister Fikile "Bunch of Losers" Mbalula backtracked from his CHAN rant said: “We have good talent, we can build a formidable team. Of course the score was huge, but we gauged ourselves against the best.”

But he was as embarrassed as the rest of us, sitting next to President Jacob Zuma and watching a team pay tribute to the late, great Nelson Mandela with a performance of pure ineptitude.

The ankle injury suffered by goalkeeper and regular captain Itumeleng Khune had impact too, though it’s hard to blame SuperSport United goalkeeper Ronwen Williams for a display which saw Oscar score the opening goal – in a week of Oscarisms – and Neymar register a dynamic hat-trick.

Coach Gordon Igesund, already on his last legs and without a contract after the World Cup which he failed to qualify for, said: “We played against a very, very good team. It wasn’t a bad performance. But they were just so much better than us.

“Very, very clinical. Neymar was outstanding. We had a couple of young players out on the park who will learn a lot from this.

“I thought 5-0 was a bit tough. We tried to make a game of it, but you can take nothing away from Brazil, they are favourites to win the World Cup.”

Let’s for something a bit meatier. Mark Fish, from the more successful 90s, said afterwards: “This shows us where we are with our football. We can’t control simple passes, so how can we expect to play against teams like Brazil? It was a very poor performance.”

Fellow legend Doc Khumalo, also analysing for SuperSport, admitted: “We saw how the modern game was played. Brazil didn’t want us to breathe in our own back yard. We have to do things how other countries do it, the modern way.”

Many will talk about development and a general lack of talent in the coming days. And we all know Brazil, though only ranked ninth in the world, are quite a team, having won the Confederations Cup.

Bafana's much-hyped victory over world No1 Spain was simply an aberration. The Samba Boys were here to prepare seriously for a home World Cup… La Rojas were simply returning to the site of their 2010 World Cup win, on a bit of a holiday.

But we were fooled by that result, perhaps the only memorable result Igesund has produced in his torrid two-year reign, though the 3-0 win over CAR in Cameroon was fun until Ethiopia ruined everything.

Truth is, Igesund failed to achieve his mandate at AFCON, missing out on penalties on the semi-finals at home last year. He crashed out of the World Cup before the play-offs, losing to Ethiopia. And as I have said so often, CHAN earlier this year was simply embarrassing coming on top of friendly failures against Zambia, Nigeria and Zimbabwe.

Who knows what SAFA president Danny Jordaan and his Technical Committee will make of this defeat, which shatters by two goals the record 3-0 home defeat suffered by Bafana against Uruguay during the 2010 World Cup?

Former Bafana coach Carlos Alberto Parreira, now Brazil’s technical coach, was far too kind: “Bafana were not that bad. Put your heads up, you did your best.” Nonsense.

But in truth, he has to be nice having helped South Africa become the first World Cup hosts to fall at the first hurdle four years ago. And he got paid quite a lot for the privilege.

The immediate problem is Igesund, with his curious selection processes, lack of an international scouting network and obvious/oblivious favouritism of certain players.

He must go. He should have gone immediately after this record-breaking embarrassment, he should have gone after CHAN. But he won’t. He has a couple of months left to serve. SAFA must get rid of him NOW. Pay him off. Those reports about Carlos Queiros returning to Bafana after he’s taken Iran to Brazil must be worth following up.

It’s time to start again. The new-fangled R40m ABC Motsepe League (the revamped third division) will help, as will SAFA’s “Vision 2022” development program backed by that near-mythical FIFA Legacy Fund. Let Shakes Mashaba, Clive Barker or somebody similar take Bafana through the pre-World Cup friendlies against Australia and Iran… things can’t get any worse.

And let Queiroz make a new start in August with the qualifiers for AFCON 2015 in Morocco. After what we saw at Soccer City, there is no choice. As Mbalula said so recently: We cannot wake up to this again.

BOLLOCKZ! my innovative football show on www.ballz.co.za airs every Thursday from 9am-11am. See Ballz' channel for our growing library of fascinating football interviews with the big names. 

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Pick him or explain: Bafana boss Gordon Igesund's get out of Jali free card

Orlando Irates: Igesund has ignored Andile Jali

The little terrier in the midfield was 16 and playing in an under 19 tournament in Port Elizabeth when Clive “The Dog” Barker first spotted the unique talent that is Andile Jali.

That was in 2006 when no-prisoners midfielder Rino Gattuso was strutting his stuff for Milan in a very similar style. Jali, a scholar at Khanya Naledi Combined school in Itsokolele near Matatiele, came through the local All Stars academy on the border of KwaZulu Natal, the Eastern Cape and Lesotho.

Known locally as Cheese-Mnana, local coach Salathiso Ntabeni had him playing adult football from from the tender age of 15 at Hots Spurs FC before he joined Vodacom Soccer league club Matatiele Professionals.

Ntabeni apparently had to present Andile Ernest Jali’s birth certificate several times to prove there was no dodgy business going on in that Easter tournament in Port Elizabeth seven years ago. And within 12 months, Jali had been recommended to AmaTuks coach Steve Barker by his uncle Clive, where his talent was nurtured alongside Bongani Khumalo and Lerato Chabangu.

History tells us all three went on to bigger things.

Jali – often nicknamed Gattuso - is now 22 and has won SIX trophies since his 2009 move to Orlando Pirates, not to mention 11 Bafana caps despite missing the World Cup with a “minor heart ailment” which has not been mentioned since he was sent for specialist treatment in Florida, USA, in May, 2010.

Now the fairy tale has hit another snag. Though still incredibly young by international standards, Jali finds himself in the World Cup wilderness under no-nonsense Bafana Bafana coach Gordon Igesund, who also overlooked him for the African Cup of Nations earlier this year.

When he picked his first squad for the Brazil 2014 qualifiers this month, Igesund went to great pains to explain why he had dropped his captain, Bongani “Mr English” Khumalo, and Ajax Amsterdam midfielder Thulani “Our Messi” Serero from his 23.

He told us Khumalo was suffering a “slight injury” and was only on the bench at Greek club PAOK. Serero’s elimination was even more damning: “He needs mental strength. During the African Cup of Nations he was scared of getting injured.”

But when asked why Jali, who looked like a world beater in the Confederations Cup as a lively teenager nearly four years ago, was not included, Igesund growled: “I won’t discuss players who aren’t in my squad.”

Bang. Off-the-record conversations with Barker, Pirates coach Roger de Sa and other well-connected sources offer no clear reason for this baffling Bafana boycott of one of the PSL’s most talented midfielders.

Perhaps, in an unnecessary interview with Kickoff magazine, these words from the little man himself may help to explain: “People do not understand me – they never will – and it’s not my job to make them understand.

 “I don’t know why, but a lot of people have a problem with me. Most people do not know the real Andile, they just know that I play for Orlando Pirates and because of that they think they know me.

 “I will not be told what to do by who think that they know me. They spread rumours that Andile is like this or that. Those who know me will tell you what kind of person I am. Those who don’t know me? That is their problem.”

These are hardly the words of a player eager to build Bafanesque bridges.

I have, despite efforts by phone, twitter and email, no searing insight in to the Jali psyche. He has occasionally slipped up, been accused of typically footballish incidents and upsets. One coach suggests he has a temper, there are whispers of a particular training ground bust-up and he was bailed along with team-mate Ndumiso Mabena on allegations of assault in 2011, though charges were later withdrawn.

But there is no career-damaging record of ill-discipline or no-I-in-team behaviour that I can uncover.

During the 2010 World Cup, where those heart problems saw him left out after a storming 
Confederations Cup, the German scouts in camp at Velmore near Erasmia also expressed a worry over his lack of physical stature. But as I said to them then, Lionel Messi, Jermain Defoe and Shaun Wright-Phillips are hardly giants.

Dean Furman, the super-fit Doncaster rover who has (unless you’re a Buccaneer) replaced Jali in Bafana’s affections, is surprisingly slight too. Both lack aerial power, perhaps their only weakness in the demanding defensive midfield role.

My view, brought on by Sunday Times Sports Editor Bareng-Batho Kortjaas’s column the day BEFORE Bafana’s rousing 2-0 win over the Central African Republic, is that Jali SHOULD feature in the squad.

When Furman was injured in a clash of heads and was forced off by double vision just before half-time in Cape Town last Saturday, Bafana suffered a 10-minute spell where Jali’s presence as Furman’s replacement was sorely missed after half-time.

Ironically, Oupa Manyisa – Jali’s Piratical partner – filled that hole when he came on and shape returned.

There are those who say Igesund is above critique right now, having – with just one win – restored hopes of a miraculous Brazilian crusade.

But for as long as Jali remains out of the squad, the question will continue to bug Igesund’s as-yet-unsecure tenure until 2018. It is simply not good enough to write him off as “not good enough” or to fall back on the tired old “I spoke to his coach” explanation.

And “I won’t discuss players not in the squad” will only further goad the typically bolshie Buccaneers, who point out Jali’s role in their recent double-treble reign.

The “get out of Jali free card” is in Gordon’s hands now. If Jali plays well for Pirates until the end of the season, Igesund MUST pick him for the still-in-doubt trip to war torn central Africa on June 7 – or offer a full explanation.

The black-and-white half of our footballing nation deserves at least that.

PS: Crystal Palace fan Ed Aarons, the former Citizen football correspondent now working for the Independent in London, offers this view on Kagiso Dikgachoi, the man Gordon prefers to Jali: "KG has been played out of position of late so hard to judge but lost place in centre to young Joniesta. Think best years are behind him."