GORDON OUT! A night of record-breaking shame at Soccer City as Brazil give Bafana FIVE

THREE AND EASY: Neymar produced a hat-trick in Brazil's 5-0 win

IT was a night to forget. The shame of Soccer City. A night when South African football fans were praying for a bit of load-shedding long before the end of Brazil’s record 5-0 thrashing of Bafana Bafana.

There are excuses. Starting with the mediocre Thabo Nthethe and making him captain for the night was just one strand in the complicated mess that is South African football. Siyanda Xulu came on for an injured Bongani Khumalo but was clearly demotivated by his inxplicable relegation to the bench.

This wasn’t a defence. It was a shambles. Thabo Matlaba was AWFUL. Neymar must have thought he was playing against a pub team.

Everywhere we look, youngsters are passed over for veterans who have achieved little in the national shirt. And we had Andile Jali, Dean Furman, Khumalo and Tokelo Rantie starting for their country when they are struggling to get a game in the lower reaches of European football.

Yes, we must work on development. Yes we must find talent. But to pick THIS side on THIS night? No Oupa Manyisa when he dominates the PSL? Then bring him on at right wing? Ridiculous. We have no international scout to confirm internet rumours about our foreign-based players. We have no answers to the rampant favouritism which has dogged so many Bafana coaches.

It was awful. Brazil barely had to raise a sweat. Missed passes, poor control, general confusion. It was all there. Sports Minister Fikile "Bunch of Losers" Mbalula backtracked from his CHAN rant said: “We have good talent, we can build a formidable team. Of course the score was huge, but we gauged ourselves against the best.”

But he was as embarrassed as the rest of us, sitting next to President Jacob Zuma and watching a team pay tribute to the late, great Nelson Mandela with a performance of pure ineptitude.

The ankle injury suffered by goalkeeper and regular captain Itumeleng Khune had impact too, though it’s hard to blame SuperSport United goalkeeper Ronwen Williams for a display which saw Oscar score the opening goal – in a week of Oscarisms – and Neymar register a dynamic hat-trick.

Coach Gordon Igesund, already on his last legs and without a contract after the World Cup which he failed to qualify for, said: “We played against a very, very good team. It wasn’t a bad performance. But they were just so much better than us.

“Very, very clinical. Neymar was outstanding. We had a couple of young players out on the park who will learn a lot from this.

“I thought 5-0 was a bit tough. We tried to make a game of it, but you can take nothing away from Brazil, they are favourites to win the World Cup.”

Let’s for something a bit meatier. Mark Fish, from the more successful 90s, said afterwards: “This shows us where we are with our football. We can’t control simple passes, so how can we expect to play against teams like Brazil? It was a very poor performance.”

Fellow legend Doc Khumalo, also analysing for SuperSport, admitted: “We saw how the modern game was played. Brazil didn’t want us to breathe in our own back yard. We have to do things how other countries do it, the modern way.”

Many will talk about development and a general lack of talent in the coming days. And we all know Brazil, though only ranked ninth in the world, are quite a team, having won the Confederations Cup.

Bafana's much-hyped victory over world No1 Spain was simply an aberration. The Samba Boys were here to prepare seriously for a home World Cup… La Rojas were simply returning to the site of their 2010 World Cup win, on a bit of a holiday.

But we were fooled by that result, perhaps the only memorable result Igesund has produced in his torrid two-year reign, though the 3-0 win over CAR in Cameroon was fun until Ethiopia ruined everything.

Truth is, Igesund failed to achieve his mandate at AFCON, missing out on penalties on the semi-finals at home last year. He crashed out of the World Cup before the play-offs, losing to Ethiopia. And as I have said so often, CHAN earlier this year was simply embarrassing coming on top of friendly failures against Zambia, Nigeria and Zimbabwe.

Who knows what SAFA president Danny Jordaan and his Technical Committee will make of this defeat, which shatters by two goals the record 3-0 home defeat suffered by Bafana against Uruguay during the 2010 World Cup?

Former Bafana coach Carlos Alberto Parreira, now Brazil’s technical coach, was far too kind: “Bafana were not that bad. Put your heads up, you did your best.” Nonsense.

But in truth, he has to be nice having helped South Africa become the first World Cup hosts to fall at the first hurdle four years ago. And he got paid quite a lot for the privilege.

The immediate problem is Igesund, with his curious selection processes, lack of an international scouting network and obvious/oblivious favouritism of certain players.

He must go. He should have gone immediately after this record-breaking embarrassment, he should have gone after CHAN. But he won’t. He has a couple of months left to serve. SAFA must get rid of him NOW. Pay him off. Those reports about Carlos Queiros returning to Bafana after he’s taken Iran to Brazil must be worth following up.

It’s time to start again. The new-fangled R40m ABC Motsepe League (the revamped third division) will help, as will SAFA’s “Vision 2022” development program backed by that near-mythical FIFA Legacy Fund. Let Shakes Mashaba, Clive Barker or somebody similar take Bafana through the pre-World Cup friendlies against Australia and Iran… things can’t get any worse.

And let Queiroz make a new start in August with the qualifiers for AFCON 2015 in Morocco. After what we saw at Soccer City, there is no choice. As Mbalula said so recently: We cannot wake up to this again.

BOLLOCKZ! my innovative football show on www.ballz.co.za airs every Thursday from 9am-11am. See Ballz' channel for our growing library of fascinating football interviews with the big names. 

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news… and read my “Neal & Pray” column every Tuesday in www.thenewage.co.za.

BOLLOCKZ! is backed by www.topodds.com - have a look at their site for my latest sports betting advice and charity bets for our Wingzofchange charity! 

EXCLUSIVE: how Majoro: a prisoner of his own footballing talent, was freed by the SAFPU

BOLLOCKZ! Lehlohonolo Majoro

Left out of the starting line-up, week after week. Forced to train alone at the Nike Football Centre in Klipspruit, Pimville. Not paid by his club, who refused to release him from a contract which ends in June. A prisoner of his own footballing talent.

That, in a nutshell, was the grim story of Kaizer Chiefs striker Lehlohonolo Majoro – and all because the 27-year-old Bafana Bafana striker had taken his career into his own hands, opting to join Soweto rivals Orlando Pirates rather than SuperSport United in a swap deal as his agent had agreed (or Mpumalanga Black Aces on a loan deal).

But then along came freedom and justice… in the form of South African Football Players’ Union president Hareaipha “Simba” Marumo and his all-conquering Disputes Resolution Chamber.

Marumo, speaking on my football show BOLLOCKZ! on www.ballz.co.za (see video below), made it very clear exactly why Lehlohonolo Majoro IS permitted to restart his career WITH IMMEDIATE EFFECT.

Despite reports from some quarters – including the respected Mark Gleeson in the Sowetan newspaper – claiming Majoro would not be able to play for the rest of the season as he departed the AmaKhosi “by mutual agreement”, Marumo insisted: “Lehlohonolo is now able to join the club of his choice. He had a couple of problems with Kaizer Chiefs unfortunately. They forced him to train on his own and suspended him without pay.

Iron Hand Shake: Taken at the same time as this interview
took place, Majoro said: “I am pleased to have
 joined Pirates, a club with a rich and proud
 history. I want to tell the supporters
 I will don this jersey with pride and I look
 forward to making them happy in everything I do.”

“That was unacceptable, there are rules in these situations, it’s a definite breach of contract right there. The remedy was that he should go to the club of his choice and be paid what he is owed. With the understanding that he would become a free agent, we were able to come to a settlement.

“We represented Majoro as a member of SAFPU. Rule 28.4 is quite clear, if the Dispute Resolution Committee Rule 28.4 is quite clear, if the DRC makes a ruling on breach of contract, that player is a free agent.

“The Sowetan article talked about a player who came to a mutual agreement, outside the DRC. That player would not have the right to play for another club until the next transfer window or until his contract finished.

“In this particular case, a player can only be suspended with full salary if there has been a disciplinary hearing. Majoro’s case was a clear breach of contract.”

When I put it to him that South Africa football agents and club treat fans and some players like idiots Marumo added: “Thanks for raising that. There was NO AMICABLE AGREEMENT with Kaizer Chiefs. SAFPU believes clubs cannot treat players like this.

“There’s a disappointing culture in this country where players are treated as second class citizens. If a player has to train alone, his security is compromised. Anybody could have gone to Klipspruit and hurt Majoro.

“We want to encourage and call on the football clubs in the country to move away from this kind of treatment of the players. These are people who make football what it is. They must be treated with the respect they deserve, we have the responsibility to build this country, our kids look up to footballers.

“How we run the game is CRUCIAL to the future generation, they shape their thinking with heroes. We cannot just talk about being profitable, the legacy of the game rests in the dignity of the players. Nobody sees the wallet, they see the footballers.

“Players have to treat themselves as brands who can make a difference in South Africa. Then we can build a football culture we can be proud of.”

When I asked Marumo if the agent has the right to dictate where a player goes, Simba – himself a former African Champions League finalist with Mamelodi Sundowns – said: “Absolutely right Neal, the player employs the agent. He pays the agent. Some agents have issues with me. I’ve parted ways with agents in the past.

“The agent is my employee, on my pay roll. That’s the only way it can work properly. For young professionals out there: The agent works for the player, not the other way around.

“If a player feels his career will flourish at a club different to the one his player wants to go to, it’s his decision. It’s important the player makes the decision which will benefit his very short career.”

Marumo, a popular analyst who will be working for SuperSport at Ajax Cape Town this weekend, concluded: “Thanks for the opportunity to raise these issues. We are there for ANY player who comes for us.”

Today Dr Khoza offered this advice to his new striker on the Orlando Pirates official website: “I hope everything goes well for you here at the club. Do not try to go out to prove a point or be angry with people. Anger takes us nowhere.

“The late President Nelson Mandela taught us a great lesson. He never got angry despite everything he had to go through in his life. We cannot waste energy by getting angry and cause problems; instead, that same energy should be channelled into making peace.

“Angry people lose a lot in this life,” Dr Khoza continued. “This should be a new beginning for you and hope you make the most of this opportunity you have here at the club.”

Majoro responded: “I just had my first training session with the guys and it feels like home. I am thankful to the Chairman for giving me the opportunity to join Orlando Pirates. His words of encouragement are priceless. I will work hard to repay the faith everyone here has shown in me."

BOLLOCKZ! my innovative football show on www.ballz.co.za airs every Thursday from 9am-11am. See Ballz' channel for our growing library of fascinating football interviews with the big names. 

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news… and read my “Neal & Pray” column every Tuesday in www.thenewage.co.za.

BOLLOCKZ! is backed by www.topodds.com - have a look at their site for my latest sports betting advice and charity bets for our Wingzofchange charity! 

Farouk Khan no longer invited to SAFA technical committee: So just WHO decides on the future of South African football... and why?

Not invited: Farouk Khan

FAROUK KHAN, the football guru who discovered Steven Pienaar, May Mahlangu and (most recently) Simphiwe Mtsweni, has found himself mysteriously left out in the cold by the SAFA Technical Committee.

Khan, founder of the widely respected Stars of Africa academy, claims he IS part of the committee which decided the fate of Bafana Bafana head coach Gordon Igesund a fortnight ago – but was not invited to attend. He feels politics are more important than football knowledge when it comes to South Africa’s highest footballing council.

Khan contacted me during the furore over Igesund’s report on the disastrous CHAN tournament. The Technical Committee, chaired by former Mamelodi Sundowns supremo Natasha Tchiclas, decided to let Igesund fulfil his contract until August while launching an investigation in to his part in a pre-tournament row over win-bonuses.

But Khan was not involved in that decision. He wasn’t invited to attend.

Khan, also a popular football analyst on SuperSport, explained:  “It wasn’t out of choice. I was part of the SAFA technical committee when it was launched and I was informed I was on the new committee.

“The Technical Committee is meant to push South African football forward, to advise SAFA on what they should and shouldn’t do.

“For some reason I haven’t been invited to the last couple of meetings that took place. It might be something I said in previous meetings. I just wasn’t invited.

“Maybe there should have been some indication why I wasn’t getting called up any more. Surely SAFA should give you some indication of why they’ve changed their minds.

“I can only assume it’s a case of me not fully endorsing how they are going to go about the development of football in South Africa (the Vision 2022 campaign).

“It’s not possible for us to start by trying to emulate the likes of Spain and Germany. We need to start at the bottom. My point was we need to provide small academies all over the country.

“The ones we used to have, when I got back from Brazil in 1990, have gone now. We have just one real academy, in India, where I travelled recently, they have 11.

“There are so many players who came through the old system. Daine Klate. Bernard Parker. They both started off there.

“But SAFA talk about qualifying thousands of coaches, I don’t have a problem with that. But if I am on the committee I’m not going to be there just to be popular. In those days we didn’t have to go out and look for talent, it came to us.

“When we had the old academies in the provinces and in the schools, we had Boebie Williams and Cavin Johnson doing good work. I’d get these guys down on a regular basis.

“At that time we came across a lad called Pienaar. We found him at an academy in Bosmont. Cavin told me about him and  I said “Bring him along”. He was 12 at the time. Now he’s playing for Everton.

“Today it’s all pie in the sky, a lot of plans being made but nothing is being implemented.

“I’ve always had a very good relationship with Gordon Igesund. He wanted a good structure. We talked about me being involved. I applied for the position of Bafana Under 20 manager, I was interviewed last year. I’m still waiting for an answer.

“The past 20 years, I’ve coached on a daily basis. I don’t need a SAFA job, I’ve got the Stars of Africa academy. People in the country know my ability.

“So many people like me have been sidelined or ignored. And here’s Bafana, can’t qualify for anything unless we’re hosting the tournament.

“Japan only started their professional league in 1993, now they qualify every World Cup, they export plenty of players to Europe.

“We as South Africans should follow suit. We have one of the best leagues, we have a strong structure… the potential brings tears to my eyes. But potential is not enough. We need to nurture this talent.

“Stop talking the talk. Start walking the walk.”

BOLLOCKZ! my innovative football show on www.ballz.co.za airs every Thursday from 9am-11am. See Ballz' channel for our growing library of fascinating football interviews with the big names. 

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news… and read my “Neal & Pray” column every Tuesday in www.thenewage.co.za.

BOLLOCKZ! is backed by www.topodds.com - have a look at their site for my latest sports betting advice and charity bets for our Wingzofchange charity! 

TOP SECRET: Stuart Baxter reveals how "digging in and winning ugly" has lifted Kaizer Chiefs to the top of the pile in South Africa

WWWWWINNER: Baxter won the PSL and
Nedbank Cup double at the first attempt
with Kaizer Chiefs last season

THE Stuart Baxter story gets better and better. Just like his table-topping Kaizer Chiefs, who are unbeaten since last Fireworks Day, November 5, 2013. That's THIRTEEN games in all competitions.

Speaking on my BOLLOCKZ! football show on www.ballz.co.za today  (see video below), the 60-year-old from Wolverhampton admitted his side could play a lot better than they did on Wednesday night when they overcame tricky Bloemfontein Celtic 3-0 with two cracking goals from Bernard Parker and Knowledge Musona.

Former South Africa national coach Baxter, who last season became the first foreign boss to win the PSL in his first season in charge, finds himself nine points clear of Mamelodi Sundowns at the top of the table and freely admits he has taught his side to "win ugly".

When I put it to him that my awful beard will continue to grow unmolested until the AmaKhosi's astonishing WWWWWWWWWDW finally features an L, Baxter laughed: "Winning makes the wind blow at your back, not in your face."


Despite a few telephonic problems, Baxter battled on to tell us: "Big leads have been blown before and they will be blown again in the future. If you can look at the mirror at the end of the season and look at that face without throwing up, you can't do any more!


"We shouldn't make the job any easier for the opposition by being Big-Time Charlies. We can't get carried away. We do our work, I try to take the pressure off as much as I can. Let's see where that takes us.


"But I know with the African Champions League running alongside the domestic competitions, it could be difficult. We've seen it in Europe, where teams competing on the continent end up struggling at home."



But the secret ingredient of Baxter's success? THIS: "There are certain things we take for granted in Europe. Digging in, winning a game ugly. That's not really part of the language of the beautiful game in Africa.



"At Chiefs, we all dig in, get the points. That gives us that little bit of extra confidence, extra belief. We can go a goal down and come back to take the points."

BOLLOCKZ! my innovative football show on www.ballz.co.za airs every Thursday from 9am-11am. See Ballz' channel for our growing library of fascinating football interviews with the big names. 

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news… and read my “Neal & Pray” column every Tuesday in www.thenewage.co.za.

BOLLOCKZ! is backed by www.topodds.com - have a look at their site for my latest sports betting advice and charity bets for our Wingzofchange charity! 

AFRICAN CHAMPIONS LEAGUE SPECIAL: How Kaizer Chiefs can reach the group stages. With great difficulty

The long and winding road: for Chiefs boss Stuart Baxter

THE African Champions League remains a mystery to our football-loving folk. For too long, it was a pain in the neck for our PSL winners. For nearly a decade, South Africa let the biggest prize on the continent go nearly unmarked.

But after Orlando Pirates' sensational progress to last year’s final, surely it’s time to put our local Champions League back where it belongs? As the rand slips globally, the $1.5m prize-money is starting to look like a reason in itself, with the runners-up earning $1m.

With the 50^th edition of the tournament now well underway, debate rages on the social networks about exactly what Kaizer Chiefs do from here after their preliminary round triumph over Namibia’s Black Africa.

It’s simple. Two more rounds over two legs to reach the Group Stages. But it promises to be unbelievably tough.

Last season, Orlando Pirates beat Djabal from the Comoros in the preliminary round, with a 5-0 win at home added to a 4-0 away win in a 9-0 drubbing.

Then the Buccaneers came up against dangerous Zambian champions Zanaco in the first round proper. An impressive 1-0 away win was followed by a 2-1 win at Orlando – remember Mpho Makola’s free-kick? The 3-1 aggregate win was a welcome triumph; people from beyond the Ghost started to sit up and take notice.

It was the second round which so nearly derailed the Pirates. First came the surprise 3-1 home win over DRC’s all-conquering TP Mazembe. The now-departed Onyekachi Okonkwo and two from Zambia's now unfancied Collins Mbesuma did the job, but after the game, the referee was punched by a visiting official, who escape despite attention from the South African Police.

That was just a clue to what was to come.

The away game in Lubumbashi goes down as Roger de Sa’s greatest achievement. The SABC’s television coverage was blacked out, journalists were detained, veteran captain Lucky Lekgwathi was sent off and two dubious penalties were saved by an ever-improving Senzo Meyiwa. A miracle… and they were in to the group stages with TWO Egyptian giants and the TP Mazembe fans cheered the team off.

That much is history.

To get that far in 2014, our runaway PSL leaders Kaizer Chiefs will have to achieve similar feats.

First up, amateurs Black Africa were destroyed 3-0 at Soccer City before Saturday’s 1-1 draw in Windhoek. Not quite as easy as it looked against a bunch of lads who admitted to being AmaKhosi in their spare time.

But now the road through Africa becomes far tougher.

Next up for Baxter and his men? It’s a mouthful: Liga Desportivo Muçulmana de Maputo, otherwise known as LDMM or Liga Maculmana.

One of the richest clubs in a nation rapidly rising up the economic ladder, LDMM won the Moçambola (Mozambique’s top division) for the first time in 2010. They’ve won it twice since, in 2011 and 2013.

The good news? They’ve never got beyond the first round in the Champions League and have just one Brazilian – a goalkeeper called Caio Venâncio – and a couple of Ghanaians. They also only managed a 1-0 aggregate win in the preliminary round over Madagascar’s CNaPS Sport.

Chiefs play LDMM with the first leg in a fortnight, the second over the weekend of 7-9 March.

And then the real challenge: Zimbabwe champions Dynamos or AS Vita from the Congo with both legs played before the end of March.

Dynamos, known as Harare’s “Glamour Boys” or “DeMbare” are essentially Zimbabwe’s Kaizer Chiefs, boasting an estimated 6million fans and 21 league titles. Eight of their players featured in the CHAN tournament in South Africa last month, where Zimbabwe reached the semi-finals.

AS Vita are no mugs either, with five African Champions League performances to their name. The away leg promises to be as spectacularly difficult as TP Mazembe were for Orlando Pirates.

Stuart Baxter knows how hard it’s going to be. Pirates achieved the improbable last season and Chiefs are not quite firing on all cylinders, having ended their nine-game winning run with a draw against Maritzburg last week.

Baxter grins: “I think Buddha said that success is like licking honey from a sword. The more you lick it, the closer you get to the day you cut your throat. I hope that day is about three months away … we will do our best.”

BOLLOCKZ! my innovative football show on www.ballz.co.za airs every Thursday from 9am-11am. See Ballz' channel for our growing library of fascinating football interviews with the big names. 

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news… and read my “Neal & Pray” column every Tuesday in www.thenewage.co.za.

BOLLOCKZ! is backed by www.topodds.com - have a look at their site for my latest sports betting advice and charity bets for our Wingzofchange charity! 

WHAT OUR SPORTS MINISTER SHOULD SAY TO SOUTH AFRICA'S CRICKETERS (after all, he said it to our footballers)

It takes three to tango: Mbalula, Smith, Zuma

The right honourable Fikile Mbalula should have issued THIS statement on South Africa’s cricketers on Saturday afternoon.

As our world-beating Proteas slumped to a huge 281-run defeat against the poxy Australian sons-of-convicts, we need the same sort of wake-up call Mbaks offered Bafana Bafana when they crashed out of CHAN last month.

Why does our Sports Minister not feel the need to decry our cricketers and rugby players in the same way as he sticks it to our footballers? This was South Africa’s third heaviest run-margin defeat of all time, and it happened at fortress SuperSportPark with captain Graeme Smith attempting to blame the conditions. I can only imagine it has something to do with the inbuilt fear of white expertise which sadly lingers in our society.

Of course, just as Bafana can redeem themselves with a friendly win over Brazil on March 5, so the Proteas can fight back in this three-match series against the Australians. Hopefully they'll be fired up for the second Test starting at Port Elizabeth on February 20.

So I’ve crafted this for our beloved “bliksem hulle” sporting spokesman, based in all but detail on his annihilation of our beloved Bafana Bafana on January 19, the night after that awful 3-1 defeat against Nigeria’s third team:

“What I saw there was not a problem of coaching, it was a bunch of losers who don’t have any respect for this country, or any respect for anybody. We must never wake up to this again.

“What did we come to see? Just a bunch of unbearable, useless individuals. Let them be told their performance was not even lacklustre, it was useless.

“We indeed have a crisis of monumental proportions and this first Test match at Centurion has proved that. The mediocrity we saw over four days is disgraceful. On Saturday, we saw a bunch of losers who lost by over two hundred runs.

"We must go back to the drawing board. That mediocrity that was displayed… we must never wake up to this situation ever again.

“Let’s not jump at one man. The CSA must look at this thoroughly. Russell Domingo is not the only problem in the team. If we are united, Haroon Lorgat would not have spent sleepless nights negotiating to get the players in to the nets. We should have fielded our best team for this Test, not a mediocre team.

“Some of the players think it is their right to be in the Protea team, some have been there but never won anything. We must forget this generation of players.

“They don’t respect their parents, their girlfriends and the nation. There is a need for a new generation of players as the current crop doesn’t respect the country. England did it when they got rid of players like Kevin Pietersen, so why can’t we? They must make way.

“I love Graeme Smith but I don’t know what was going on in his head. He was playing in front of his home supporters and I’m sure even his family was there, but what he did was unthinkable.

“I could have scored more runs than him. He reminded me of that spinner we got from Pakistan, who doesn’t take any wickets.

"I felt like just standing up and walking out.

"I saw people lining up after the game to greet them ... I won't greet them, I didn't even call them."

The original video of Fikile Mbalula’s lambasting of Bafana is here:

BOLLOCKZ! my innovative football show on www.ballz.co.za airs every Thursday from 9am-11am. See Ballz' channel for our growing library of fascinating football interviews with the big names. 

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news… and read my “Neal & Pray” column every Tuesday in www.thenewage.co.za.

BOLLOCKZ! is backed by www.topodds.com - have a look at their site for my latest sports betting advice and charity bets for our Wingzofchange charity!

TWO SHOCKERS FOR SOUTH AFRICAN FOOTBALL: VV installed by Orlando Pirates, Khune signs for Rooney agent Stretford

Tough choice: Vermezovic

Two shocking South African football stories broke this morning: first South Africa's top goalkeeper Itumeleng Khune announced he had signed for English agent Paul Stretford's Triple S Group, then Orlando Pirates said they'd appointed former Kaizer Chiefs boss Vladimir Vladimir Vermezović on a three-year deal to replace Roger de Sa.

Stunned isn't quite the word. Both stories are remarkable.

Here's the tweet from @iikhune_32_16 yesterday: "@dhl10 @WayneRooney @Kennethshep2 @MrGunny1963 Good to be part of the #TripleS family!"

Stretford’s Triple S Sports and Entertainment Group was formed after he left his previous agency Proactive over "huge and irreconcilable differences" involving FA misconduct charges and huge amounts of money surrounding Wayne Rooney’s transfer from Everton to Manchester United.

Stretford runs the agency with controversial former Newcastle United chairman Freddie Shepherd and his son Robert. Having left South African agent Jazzman Mahlakgane and spent six months with local agency MSC Sport, Khune is clearly at his wits' end when it comes to that big overseas move.

Sir Alex Ferguson once said: Stretford “was not the most popular man in the world – certainly at our club" when he tried to lure Rooney away from Old Trafford in October 2010.

Perhaps spurred by Andile Jali’s move to Belgium’s KV Oostende, Khune has clearly decided his only hope of playing in Europe is to sign for Stretford and his merry men. Best of luck with that, Itu. Stretford certainly fights hard for what he wants.

Even more shocking was THIS (complete with spelling mistakes, it’s Vermezović not Vermezonic) on the official Orlando Pirates website:

Orlando Pirates is pleased to announce the appointment of Vladimir Vermezonic as Head Coach.

VV has sgned a three year contract with the Club and is expected to start as soon as he gets his work permit. 

‘’I have unfinished business in South Africa. Orlando Pirates, a giant in African football, is offering me an opportunity to fulfil a dream of a lifetime. I am grateful for the opportunity” said Vladimir Vermezonic.

“I have had to study Orlando Pirates very closely from the other side. I am therefore not coming into an unknown environment. It should help because I know the supporters expect me to hit the deck running” added Vladimir Vermezonic.

“VV is not new to the South African condition. His hunger and discipline is impressive.” Dr Khoza, Orlando Pirates Football Chairman commented.

“In football, we are in the business of creating memories, history and leaving behind legacies that inspire generations to come. Coaches have become as much a part of this phenomenon as players. I wish VV a memorable and noteworthy career at Orlando Pirates Football Club” added Dr Khoza.

The Orlando Pirates Chairman, Dr Irivin Khoza, heaped praise and gratitude to the club’s assistant coach Eric Tinkler, who stepped in as caretaker coach when Roger De Sa resigned unexpectedly.

He said, “Eric is a ‘can do’ man that would rather fail doing rather than provide excuses. His work ethic is commendable. His commitment and hard work is not going unnoticed, I am confirming that Eric will continue in his role as assistant coach of Orlando Pirates Football Club”, concluded Dr Khoza.

Quite how the notorious VV, who left at least three Kaizer Chiefs stars in floods of tears during his largely unsuccessful time at Naturena from 2009-12 (a period during which arch-rivals Pirates won TWO TREBLES, he won the Telkom KO in 2009 and 2010) is supposed to solve the Buccaneers’ problems I’m not sure.

The 50-year-old Serbian is certainly renowned as a tough guy. With Stanley “Screamer” Shabalala and Floyd Mbele pulling the strings at a club which is imbued with what veteran captain Lucky Lekgwathi calls “sinister forces”, it’s going to be extremely tough.

VV returned to Partizan Belgrade when he left Chiefs in 2012 and after taking them to the top of the table he suffered a slump and was sacked in April 2013.

Just last week Dr Irvin Khoza was telling us the appointment of a new coach to succeed Roger de Sa was “not a priority”. My thought was that VV was a rushed appointment as Tinkler was about to decamp to Ajax Cape Town with his old mentor De Sa.

But De Sa is no closer to moving 1000km south and Tinkler has been assured he will stay on as VV’s number two. Very strange.

But hey. No room for more defamation suits. Best of luck Itu and VV. I think you may both need it!


BREAKING: here's the Bafana squad to play Brazil on March 5, Khune understudy is SuperSport United's Ronwen Williams, Thabo Nthethe remains in place after his move from Bloemfontein Celtic to Mamelodi Sundowns but no sign of Tower Mathoho or Tefu MashaMIGHTY, Bournemouth's Tokelo Rantie gets the call up front:

Goalkeepers: Khune, Williams
Defenders: Nthethe, Khumalo, Mkhwanazi, Xulu, Ngcongca, Mokeke, Matlaba
Midfielders: Furman, Dikgacoi, Tshabalala, Claasen, Serero, Jali, Manyisa, Patosi, Mbatha, Zungu, Kekana
Strikers: Parker, Rantie, Ndlovu


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