Tuesday, 24 January 2012
Harry Redknapp: The full incredible story of his trial...and his dog's bank account at Barklays
Wednesday, 25 August 2010
The Hand of Yid: Defoe cheats to see Spurs through. You just can't deny it.

After the Hand of God and the Hand of Frog, it would be deeply unfair to ignore the latest great footballing injustice: The Hand of Yid.
Look, there’s no denying it. Just because he’s a lovable little Englishman, Jermain Defoe can’t be allowed to get away with the blatant handball which turned last night’s Champions League qualifier Tottenham’s way at White Hart Lane. It’s cheating. It’s wrong. UEFA should look at the tapes and punish both the player and the club.
Isn’t that what we English cry whenever Johnny Foreigner uses a hand to gain advantage?
Argentina’s Diego Maradona has never been forgiven for punching one in against England in 1986, Frenchman Thierry Henry is still roundly condemned for his basketballing antics against Ireland in last year’s World Cup play-off and Luis Suarez was castigated (but not castrated) for briefly becoming an extra goalkeeper when Uruguay scraped through their quarter-final against Ghana at the World Cup in July.
Throw them out, we cried. Ban them forever, the headlines proclaimed.
So why should Defoe’s cheating be treated any differently? Can you imagine if the boot had been on the other erm... hand? Spurs fans, who like to call themselves Yids in the club’s faintly self-parodying Jewish tradition, love to complain. Ever since the double in 1961, they’ve been going on and on. Their manager, Harry Redknapp, never has enough over-paid players and always has more traumatised injury victims that an episode of Casualty.
I say it’s time for neutrality, since we’re dealing with the harmless (and armless) Swiss. Imagine how Young Boys, 3-2 after up the first leg in Bern, must have felt with that lucrative place in the group stages at stake? Peter Crouch headed the opener to level the “£20million” tie after just five minutes, then Defoe committed his unforgiveable sin.
With the ball dropping behind him, the 5ft 7in mini-dynamo clearly controlled the ball with the crook of his left arm before turning neatly past protesting Swiss defenders to slot home the winner. Great finish, clear handball.
Crouch made it 3-1 after an hour (5-3 on aggregate), and Defoe then found himself substituted while goalkeeper Heurelho Gomes, who had been begging to be subbed after an early injury, was left out in the rain by boss Redknapp. Curious.
Crouch was given the ball when the ever-impressive Gareth Bale was brought down in the box with ten minutes left, and duly scored his third – only the second European Cup hat-trick in Tottenham’s history.
But to focus on Crouch’s scoring ability – on and off the field – would be to miss the point.
Defoe did his best to explain away the use of his arm in scoring, and the guilty look before he commenced celebrating his goal. He said: "There may have been a bit of an arm, but you take them all. I did have a glance at the referee." With the ref, linesman and new-fangled “sixth official” next to the goal all missing his one-armed banditry, Defoe had little choice but to grin sheepishly at the post-match cameras. Before the game of course,
Defoe had let it be known he needed a hernia operation (he will have surgery tomorrow and misses England’s first two Euro 2012 qualifiers against Bulgarlia and Switzerland) but was prepared to play through the pain against Young Boys. He added: "Everyone wants to play in the Champions League. On Tuesday nights, you don't want to be at home watching Eastenders.”
But Spurs provided the soap opera moments in the teeming rain of north London last night. The little sinner, the cockney market trader shouting the odds from the sidelines, the massed ranks of anxious extras... and a starring role for the the lanky bloke caught in the love triangle. It was all there, complete with the fairy-tale ending.
Monday, 24 May 2010
Mighty Monday: Action from Wembley, Soweto and Melbourne and the World Cup is nearly upon us

YOU know there's a World Cup on the horizon when you spend a Monday night being assailed by "friendly" football from around the globe. England 3-1 Mexico from Wembley, South Africa 1-1 Bulgaria from Soweto... not to mention Portugal drawing 0-0 with the erm... Cape Verde Islands and Argentina beating Canada 3-0.
But perhaps the big pre-World Cup story of the night comes from the greatest island in the world, where the vast Melbourne Cricket Ground witnessed Australia pipping New Zealand 2-1 in a friendly marred by appalling tackles.
Bearing in mind these two nations are generally expected to excel on the cricket and rugby fields, anticipation is high Down Under. But Aussie coach Pim Verbeek slammed his own players - Everton's Tim Cahill and Blackburn's Vince Grella - for a pair of awful tackles, both on Kiwi Leo Burtos.
Both would have been red card challenges in the World Cup and a fuming Verbeek said: "Vince's tackle was worse than Timmy's ... I can't find any reason why they should do what they did. I wanted to take them off immediately but you have to be a bit careful in a game like that.
"If I was the other side, I would have been a little bit mad and might have done something. But New Zealand were very professional and I applaud them - my players were not professional.
"It was a good lesson and I cannot accept what [Grella and Cahill] did. This is not how you should play the game. If it had been a World Cup game there would have been two red cards."
The South African game against Bulgaria was hardly a friendly either. Though all four Premier League stars missed the game in Soweto (Dimitar Berbatov, the Manchester United striker has retired from international football while South Africa’s trio of Benni McCarthy (West Ham), Steve Pienaar (Everton) and Aaron Mokoena (Portsmouth) were all rested) there was no quarter given.
England’s final appearance on home soil before flying out to Rustenburg on Monday was pretty competitive too.
Boss Fabio Capello chose to rest his four Chelsea stars (John Terry, Frank Lampard, Joe Cole and Ashley Cole) after their FA Cup final exertions and went with Tottenham’s injury-prone Ledley King next to captain Rio Ferdinand in central defence.
King promptly scored his first international goal in six years, latching on to club-mate Peter Crouch’s astute far post header. Crouch made it 2-0 from a standing position on the line and though Mexico’s limping Franco pulled one back just before half-time, Liverpool’s Glenn Johnson produced the moment of the match to wrap things up.
A quick one-two with an impressive Theo Walcott saw Johnson break through the Mexican line to bend a shot beautifully into the top corner. Superb.
Quotes of the night though came from World Cup organising committee chairman Danny Jordaan in Soweto. He said: “With the fans here tonight, and the performance on the field, it’s all going well. We can look forward with some optimism to the opening match.”
South Africa’s Brazilian boss Carlos Alberto Parreira said: “They had one shot on goal and they scored. The perfect result is always to win. But I’m happy with the performance. The Colombia friendly, our next game, will be different.”
That opening match sees the hosts take on Mexico at Soccer City on June 11. There were clues to how that would go from London and Johannesburg tonight. And some hard evidence. My advice to Parreira. Keep an eye on former Spurs man Giovani dos Santos, now playing in Turkey. He has lovely hair (permed and hair-banded) but don’t be fooled. The 21-year-old from Monterrey can play.
Okay, hints and allegations, incidents and accidents. I visited the Kiwi World Cup base at the Serengeti east of Johannesburg today. Stunning. But in truth, Argentina, Portugal, England, South Africa, Mexico, New Zealand and Australia have no real idea what to expect out here. And that’s how it should be. The World Cup is nearly upon us.
Friday, 5 March 2010
By hook or by crook, England's squad takes shape. No Owen, Beckham on the brink, Ashley calls for the psychologist
AND gradually, by hook or by crook, England's World Cup 23 is coming together.
Thursday, 4 March 2010
Terry let off by Wembley fans but Tevez issues an Argentine fatwah: "He'd lose his legs or more in my neighbourhood."
SO John Terry got away with it at Wembley last night. A few boos, a couple of jeers, a difficult first half. After the break, Terry and the rest of his England team-mates were warmly received as they saw off African champions Egypt 3-1 in front of 80,602 reasonably happy fans.
"Whether or not I am cheered or booed it was important we got the win."
Of course boss Fabio Capello was happy enough with a game which looked like it was getting away from England at half-time. He said: "I wasn't angry at half-time, We create a lot of chances. All I did was make some changes. In the first half we were too deep and didn't press enough. We did this.
"Thank you to the crowd because they supported the team and Terry. He is very important."
While England were beating Egypt - fresh from their third successive African Nations Cup triumph in Angola six weeks ago - Algeria were taking a 3-0 beating from Serbia in Algiers.
Algeria knocked Egypt out of the World Cup on a play-off - because both sides finished with identical qualifying records - have been drawn in Group C with England for the World Cup in South Africa. It looks like June 18 in Cape Town will be a comfortable second game for Capello's crew.
England's first opponents in Group C, the USA, were beaten 2-1 in Holland with Liverpool's Dirk Kuyt and Klaas-Jan Huntelaar on the score-sheet. Former Fulham striker Carlos Bocanegra scored a late consolation.
The fourth team in Group C, Slovenia, produced an impressive 4-1 win over Qatar. Their coach Matjaz Kek said. “We played well, it was a nice result and I’m happy. But it’s 100 days to the World Cup. That’s a long time.”
Apart from Argentina's win in Germany, there were few shocks around the world as the nations warm-up for the big one in June. South Africa, who kick it all off against Mexico at Soccer City on June 11, drew 1-1 with neighbours Namibia.
Most interesting result of the night: The Ivory Coast, perhaps Africa's best hope of success in their first World Cup with Didier Drogba and the Toure brothers, were beaten 2-0 at home by South Korea. Michael Essien's Ghan went down 2-1 to Bosnia. On the other hand, Alex Song's Cameroon managed a 0-0 draw in Italy.
Wednesday, 3 March 2010
It's the Little and Large show for England as African champions Egypt are wellied at Wembley
IN the end England relied on Little and Large to ease them out of an embarrassing situation against Egypt at Wembley tonight.
Sunday, 22 November 2009
Nine? Nein! Nine! Be very afraid of Spurs and Jermain man
GOONERS everywhere be afraid. Be very afraid. Tottenham stuck nine, yes nine, past Wigan at White Hart Lane today. And Jermain Defoe, the little big guy who should play every England game alongside Wayne Rooney, stuck away five of them, including three in eight minutes, the second fastest hat-trick in the history of the Premiership.
"All the strikers have been in great form. Robbie's (Keane) had a four this year, now Jermain's had five, Crouchy's had a three. So it's nice to have your strikers all scoring goals."