Barclays League Live: it's a lot more than watching a couple of games on Africa's biggest screen

So often you get invited to football functions that bore you to tears. Not the British Premier League's new fan zone concept: Barclays League Live. Zoo Lake near Johannesburg today was seriously impressive: it will be open from noon tomorrow and Sunday FREE for fans who want to see live British action on the big screen - but what surprised me was: there's MUCH, MUCH more than mere spectating to be done.

With Chelsea's Marcel Desailly and former England and
Liverpool striker Robbie Fowler at Zoo Lake today

For a start, some of our fooballing superheroes will be wandering about. French World Cup winner Marcel Desailly and former England and Liverpool star Robbie Fowler were both there today - tomorrow former Bolton, Charlton and Orlando Pirates African Champions League winner Mark Fish and ex-Leeds United hero Lucas Radebe will join the fans too.

It's a seriously impressive Absa-sponsored event (their banking partners Barclays sponsor the British Premier League) and there are plans to hold a similar event for South Africa's Absa PSL within the next year.

Chelsea's Petr Cech penalty challenge: Robbie Fowler shot
a 25-pointer first time. I tried six times and failed. Dismally

Though the Barclays League is beamed to 804 MILLION homes across 212 nations EVERY WEEK, not everyone is in entirely in love with British football in South Africa.

Former Kaizer Chiefs legend and SuperSport football analyst Shakes Kungwane tweeted me to say he didn't like the Premier League being shoved down his throat - and there are a growing number of La Liga and Bundesliga fans among the younger generation of football fans.

On top of that, the AmaKhosi are playing AS Vita in a vital African Champions League second round, second leg clash tomorrow night at Soccer City, trying to overcome a 3-0 away deficit while ailing Arsenal are airing live at Zoo Lake against Manchester City. And we've got Orlando Pirates and Moroka Swallows kicking off the Original Soweto Derby in Soweto at 6pm, an hour after Crystal Palace kick-off against Chelsea 5000 miles north.

But South African football - particularly the PSL - can learn a lot from what the Premier League have dared to do at Zoo Lake. PSL attendances are generally poor-to-pitiful, there is little on offer in the way of family entertainment or catering at our grounds. Only the big clubs - Kaizer Chiefs, Orlando Pirates and Mamelodi Sundowns - really draw crowds and the pull of SuperSport's live British football is a tempting alternative to watching live in the PSL stands.

And of course, we get to watch MORE live Barclays League football in South Africa than the British themselves, who are denied live coverage at 5pm on a Saturday afternoon, something the PSL should consider here.

Ultimately it's a battle for football-shaped hearts and minds. No expense spared. South Africa is one of the oldest and most lucrative markets for the British game, with replica Liverpool and Manchester United shirts present on every street in every corner of this diverse Rainbow Nation.

But the market is growing old. To maintain their traditional dominance over Spain and Germany's technically superior game, an exhibition at Zoo Lake is an obvious step for the Barclays League. Quite how much all this cost the Premier League and/or their banking sponsors, I've no idea. But it's got to be millions of rands, if not pounds. Dozens of Premier League officials, former players and commercial people have flown in to Oliver Tambo over the last 48 hours. Cardiff City, Chelsea, Tottenham Hotspur and Sunderland all have exhibits around the Zoo Lake Sports Club ground offering a range of football skills games - shooting, passing, penalty-taking, dribbling are all tested, assessed and ranked. The kids will love it.

In the centre of the ground, there's a five-a-side pitch and - obviously - there's plenty of scope for drinks and food spotted around the 100m square big screen - it's the largest television in Africa right now and has its own grandstand.

Glittering prize: the Premier League trophy at Zoo Lake

There are less strenuous pursuits too - one tent offers the glittering Premier League trophy with voice of football Martin Tyler talking us through the history of the competition since 1992 - and you can snap a picture with the trophy and your favourite team - to be emailed to you after a brief registration process.

The Premier League fan zone also offers a computerised tent where you can pick your own club's dream team if you want a break from the football action. Seriously, it's a family day out, even if the missus and the daughters aren't all kitted up.

For the football fanatcis the games being screened are: David Moyes' struggling Manchester United against Aston Villa at 2pm tomorrow. Then South Africa's own Kagiso Dikgacoi could be in action when relegation-threatened Crystal Palace attempt to stop the Chelsea juggernaut at 5pm. At 7pm, Arsenal - beaten 6-0 by Chelsea last week and held 2-2 by Swansea on Tuesday - have the toughest task of all attempting to stop Manchester City's millionaires from closing in on the top.

On Sunday, struggling Fulham face South African Steven Pienaar's in-form Everton at 3.30pm before title-chasing Liverpool face Tottenham Hotspur at 6pm.

 Look, nobody's saying the Barclays League is better than our own PSL, La Liga or the Bundesliga. But it is eminently watchable - almost a habit among some sectors of the football-speaking community.

If you're NOT going to a live PSL game tomorrow and/or Sunday (and that's most of you), it's worth a go. And you can take the whole family, boots and all.

BOLLOCKZ! my innovative football show on www.ballz.co.za airs every Thursday from 9am-11am. See Ballz' channel for our growing library of fascinating football interviews with the big names. 

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news…email me on nealcollins@hotmail.com and read my “Neal and Pray” column every Tuesday in www.thenewage.co.za.

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The curious tale of Steven Pienaar's year at Spurs: why Moore isn't always merrier

THE Steven Pienaar story is a curious one, and close to my heart. When confirmation dropped that South Africa’s only current world-class player had gone on loan back to his old stomping ground at Goodison Park, I leapt in the air.

The deal to move “Schilla” from Spurs to Everton for the rest of the season was officially confirmed at 11.47pm South African time, nearly 10pm at the FA’s headquarters in London.

His excited twittering since backs up all that we felt about the lad from Westbury’s troubled time in North London, where he found himself in a Spurs squad with his path to glory blocked by a certain Gareth Bale.

And there he was, as the transfer window slowly shut, watching that Welsh wizard Bale thump home two more goals in a record-breaking season against Wigan. Where was South Africa’s international captain? Where he’s been all season – on the bench.

Apparently before kick-off, boss Harry Redknapp had insisted Pienaar had to be part of the squad, despite frantic negotiations with Everton chairman Bill Kenwright. He said he needed the 29-year-old in case of injury.

But what few people knew when the match kicked off was that Harry wanted Everton’s former Manchester United striker Louis Saha at White Hart Lane. And as a consequence, Kenwright had a little leverage in his bid to get Pienaar back to the club where he was the supporters’ player of the year in 2009.

When QPR’s new boss Mark Hughes made an approach a fortnight ago, Redknapp assured us: “I have no intention of selling Pienaar. Why should I? I wouldn't want to let him go. He is a good player. I don't need to weaken the squad. He could play a part in the run-in."

After a day in court defending himself over tax evasion charges and a welcome 3-0 triumph over Wigan, ‘Arry proved to be less determined as the midnight deadline loomed.

Thank God. A major mistake may just have been rectified. Expect a permanent deal at the end of the season - with little mention of the cut-price R30m Spurs paid for their man.

A year ago, when it became clear Pienaar was being set up for that cut-price move – he refused to sign a new contract despite repeated urging from David Moyes – I said on SuperSport that his agent David Moore was stupid to move him from Goodison, where he had made a name for himself.

I said it was like Paul Stretford demanding a move from Manchester United for Wayne Rooney, which he had done, but had rapidly rethought his strategy.

As an automatic pick at Everton, what was the point of going to Spurs, where Bale had just begun to emerge with that now-legendary Champions League hat-trick at the San Siro? Moore called me on the mobile from Barcelona, screaming at me, telling me I knew nothing.

He said he had nothing to do with Pienaar’s move, that Schilla himself was eager to go, because he wanted Champions League football and a club with more ambition.

When I quoted him, Moore insisted I send an apology to Kenwright. I did. I still have the email.

But ultimately, with Pienaar back at Everton after a late-night exchange between Redknapp and Kenwright on Wednesday night, I guess we all know now that Pienaar’s move to Spurs was all wrong.

I’ll say now what I said a year ago: sometimes a player just belongs. He doesn’t need to move in his late 20s. Moore can deny it all he want, but anyone who’s been in football long enough knows the agents are the ones behind the risky, big-money moves late in a career.

Without a move, where does the last big pay-day come from if, like Moore, your players are declining with the speed of Benni McCarthy, who was at West Ham at the time?

It looked okay at first. Pienaar cracked the starting line-up. But after a run of games, injury struck. The close season saw both Pienaar and compatriot Bongani Khumalo come over for the Vodacom Challenge with Spurs. But that was as good as it got. And if you examine www.twitter.com/therealstevenpi you’ll find Pienaar's been “sick” and “in bed” three times since Christmas this year. He blames flu and tonsilitis as the stress of being unable to break in to Tottenham’s high-flying starting eleven began to tell.

A few brief cameos – including 10 minutes against Everton - are all he’s managed in the Premier League. And a couple of starts in Tottenham’s disastrous Europa League journey.

But the minute confirmation of his return to Everton emerged, his old pal Phil Neville was telling the BBC: “There’s nobody else I’d rather we signed.”
On the Everton FC facebook page, a simple message atop hundreds of happy messagers: "Welcome home Steven Pienaar."

These are Stevie’s tweets since: “Soon up the road to Liverpool. Familiar journey! Looking forward.

“And looking forward to running rings around @fizzer19 (Neville) in training again. “Very thankful that Spurs management allowed me to go on loan and I’m very happy it could be to Everton, a club close to my heart.

“Manager needs to make choices, I understand. But I love playing and just can’t sit so much on the bench. It was killing my spirit.

“Mixed emotions to leave Spurs. Disappointed I couldn’t get in a playing groove on a regular basis and show the fans the real me.

“Happy days. We just beat the clock on Transfer Deadline Day. Holding thumbs.”

Aren’t we all Stevie? South Africa needs you playing again. And the same could be said for compatriot Bongani Khumalo, back at Spurs after his disastrous loan spell at Championship club Reading.

Sometimes agents don’t know best.

Now what happened to QPR wanting Katlego “Killer” Mphela?

See also: http://www.neal-collins.blogspot.com/2011/11/when-moore-is-less-re-appointed-bafana.html

Harry Redknapp: The full incredible story of his trial...and his dog's bank account at Barklays

What you probably don’t know about Harry Redknapp, the famous Spurs manager currently in court for tax evasion in London, is just how popular the bloke is.

Father of the talented Jamie, now a television presenter after a successful career with Liverpool and England, Our ‘Arry is beloved of journalists and would be a popular choice to take over the England job if Fabio Capello resigns after Euro 2012 later this year.

Badly injured in a car crash which killed his close mate and Bournemouth FC owner Brian Tiler at the World Cup in 1990, ‘Arry is not your typical frosty football boss.

As he approaches what used to be a pensionable age – he’ll be 65 on March 2 – ‘Arry has manipulated Spurs into a position of title contention after taking over from the clueless Juande Ramos three years ago with the club languishing at the bottom of the Premier League.

Conviction for tax fraud for one of Britain’s great sporting icons, who took a break from his beloved bench to undergo heart surgery last year, is simply unthinkable.

Through a long, largely successful career in management (West Ham, Portsmouth, Southampton, Portsmouth again and now Tottenham) after a modest stint as a player mostly at West Ham and Bournemouth, he has always been good for a quote, a larf, a sound-bite.

I say always. There was the time he said he’d "sue the b*******" off one my old mate Rob Beasley, the News of the World football reporter who asked too many questions about his tax dealings. Still, at least he’s outlasted the newspaper.

Harry’s problem revolves around a bank account set up in his dog’s name – Rosie47 (the dog and the year of his birth) was allegedly the Monaco-based off-shore home for his ill-gotten gains.

Now, after all those years of entertainment, we are told by the court in Southwark that he has been "feigning ignorance" about his illegal dealings “for six years before his arrest” despite telling police “I’m not on the fiddle” as he and his former Portsmouth chairman Milan Mandaric were questioned over two payments amounting to £189,000.

Redknapp insists his dog’s account – soon to be moved to Hounduras, Barklays Bank, apparently, using a pawpal transfer according to the wags – was built up through transfer profit bonuses. Mandaric, unfortunately, insists the money was “an investment fund” set up outside of football.

John Black QC, prosecuting in the tax evasion trial at Southwark Crown Court this week, recounted a conversation between Beasley and Redknapp. ‘Arry told the reporter: “I’ve got the best accountants in England, the Inland Revenue know about Monaco.”

But  Beasley then mentioned Mandaric's explanation and ‘Arry said: "He don't know what he is f***ing talking about. What is he talking about? It is a bonus."

Redknapp insisted the cash came from profits made on the sale of Peter Crouch from Portsmouth to Aston Villa – he was later to sign the gangly striker again at Spurs.

He added: "If it was something dodgy I would have gone over there and brought it back in a briefcase."

When Beasley asked him whether he had paid any tax in the UK on it, Redknapp replied: "Haven't been asked to, Rob."

Redknapp said "there ain't nothing crooked in it" and told Beasley: "Don't say bung. It's nothing to do with a bung. It's paid by the chairman.

 "How can it be a bung when the chairman of the football club paid me? What's a bung? It's a f****** sick word."

It’s the idea of ‘Arry being paid the money in to an account in his dog’s name that has really captured the imagination though. Redknapp declared the account to tax inspectors just before he left Portsmouth for Spurs in 2008 and told police he thought the “Rosie account” was dormant and that he didn’t know Mandaric, now 73 and chairman of Sheffield Wednesday, had put any money in it.

Redknapp told the police: “Milan's probably lost it. I could show you people who I have lent money to in investments.

"It would blow your brains away, the money I have squandered but then I do trust people, that's the way I live my life.

"I was told I wasn't liable for income tax on so many occasions. For the sake of that amount of money or any amount of money, I don't fiddle. I pay my tax since I have been in football my entire life. I pay every penny."

But the prosecution says ‘Arry only mentioned the Monaco account after he was questioned during the Premier League-led Quest investigation in 2006.

Mr Black said: "The existence of the bank account was not registered to Revenue and Customs for a period of six years, two months... after Mr Redknapp was first arrested and questioned in the course of this investigation.

 “It's clear that it was only at this time that Mr Redknapp brought to the attention the existence of the Monaco bank account, feigning almost total ignorance of its existence, its operation and its contents."

Redknapp and Mandaric deny two counts of cheating the taxman. The trial continues...

Read Scoop!, South Africa's new Sunday tabloid for more from me on this story - available at Gauteng and KZN outlets. See also www.scoopnews.co.za

Spurs reject QPR bid for Bafana captain Pienaar... but that's only half the story

SPURS rejected the first of an expected avalanche of bids for Steve Pienaar on Friday when new Queens Park Rangers boss Mark Hughes approached Harry Redknapp for the under-used South African captain.

Pienaar, brought up in the tough Westbury area of Johannesburg, has played just five times for in-form Tottenham this season - but his appearances have been limited to Carling Cup and Europe League outings.

His bargain  £2m move from Everton in January 2011 was engineered by manager Rob Moore after a new contract went unsigned at Goodison Park.

Hughes is believed to have offered around the same price for Pienaar, but will up the bid to  £3m in an attempted to make Pienaar his first signing since taking over from Neil Warnock at Loftus Road.

Pienaar, injured in pre-season, finds himself unable to get beyond Gareth Bale on the left of Harry Redknapp's title-chasing midfield - a minor fact overlooked (but mentioned here) when he snubbed Chelsea for Spurs a year ago.

Pienaar, 29, and agent Moore insisted the move was all about playing Champions League football but Spurs failed to finish in the top four last season and missed out on Europe's premier competition.

Everton are also believed to be interested in ending Pienaar's misery, offering to take him back on loan to the club where he won the fans's player of the season award in 2009. Pienaar is also being watched by Scottish giants Celtic and Spurs' injury-ravaged neighbours Arsenal.

Spurs boss Redknapp is believed to be persuadable on the issue of Pienaar's departure but publicly he said: "I wouldn't want to let him go. He is a good player," Redknapp said. "I brought him on for the last 10 minutes against Everton on Wednesday and he didn't give the ball away. I don't have any need to weaken the squad. I would rather have a good squad for last 18 matches of the season than let one or two go who could play a part in the run-in."

But surely the point is, if Redknapp really didn't want Pienaar to go, how did knowledge of QPR's bid emerge in all the English newspapers simulataneously. Harry, though he denies it, is a wheeler dealer in the market. My belief is he "leaked" news of the bid, along with quotes saying he still wanted Pienaar. That way, he gets to keep Pienaar happy while stoking a bidding war for his talented but largely redundant South African.

Pienaar's Spurs career started promisingly, the South African slotting in to the team after an injury to Gareth Bale. He started the Londoners' Champions League second-round game away to Milan but a series of injuries meant that he saw little first-team action. He suffered a concussion after clashing heads with a team-mate, Bongani Khumalo, during training in February and he picked up a groin problem towards the end of the season.

Pienaar was confident that the groin problem had gone away, but it flared up again in pre-season and he had to undergo surgery, ruling him out until mid-September. Another two setbacks kept him out until November.

My experience tells me the Hughes bid was leaked to the British press in an attempt to "make a market" for Pienaar, with bigger and better bids coming soon. But Pienaar should hold firm. The transfer window still has a fortnight to run. And Bale could yet suffer an injury which could tranform Schillo's Spurs fortunes.

The Hand of Yid: Defoe cheats to see Spurs through. You just can't deny it.

After the Hand of God and the Hand of Frog, it would be deeply unfair to ignore the latest great footballing injustice: The Hand of Yid.

Look, there’s no denying it. Just because he’s a lovable little Englishman, Jermain Defoe can’t be allowed to get away with the blatant handball which turned last night’s Champions League qualifier Tottenham’s way at White Hart Lane. It’s cheating. It’s wrong. UEFA should look at the tapes and punish both the player and the club.

Isn’t that what we English cry whenever Johnny Foreigner uses a hand to gain advantage?

Argentina’s Diego Maradona has never been forgiven for punching one in against England in 1986, Frenchman Thierry Henry is still roundly condemned for his basketballing antics against Ireland in last year’s World Cup play-off and Luis Suarez was castigated (but not castrated) for briefly becoming an extra goalkeeper when Uruguay scraped through their quarter-final against Ghana at the World Cup in July.

Throw them out, we cried. Ban them forever, the headlines proclaimed.

So why should Defoe’s cheating be treated any differently? Can you imagine if the boot had been on the other erm... hand? Spurs fans, who like to call themselves Yids in the club’s faintly self-parodying Jewish tradition, love to complain. Ever since the double in 1961, they’ve been going on and on. Their manager, Harry Redknapp, never has enough over-paid players and always has more traumatised injury victims that an episode of Casualty.

I say it’s time for neutrality, since we’re dealing with the harmless (and armless) Swiss. Imagine how Young Boys, 3-2 after up the first leg in Bern, must have felt with that lucrative place in the group stages at stake? Peter Crouch headed the opener to level the “£20million” tie after just five minutes, then Defoe committed his unforgiveable sin.

With the ball dropping behind him, the 5ft 7in mini-dynamo clearly controlled the ball with the crook of his left arm before turning neatly past protesting Swiss defenders to slot home the winner. Great finish, clear handball.

Crouch made it 3-1 after an hour (5-3 on aggregate), and Defoe then found himself substituted while goalkeeper Heurelho Gomes, who had been begging to be subbed after an early injury, was left out in the rain by boss Redknapp. Curious.

Crouch was given the ball when the ever-impressive Gareth Bale was brought down in the box with ten minutes left, and duly scored his third – only the second European Cup hat-trick in Tottenham’s history.

But to focus on Crouch’s scoring ability – on and off the field – would be to miss the point.

Defoe did his best to explain away the use of his arm in scoring, and the guilty look before he commenced celebrating his goal. He said: "There may have been a bit of an arm, but you take them all. I did have a glance at the referee." With the ref, linesman and new-fangled “sixth official” next to the goal all missing his one-armed banditry, Defoe had little choice but to grin sheepishly at the post-match cameras. Before the game of course,

Defoe had let it be known he needed a hernia operation (he will have surgery tomorrow and misses England’s first two Euro 2012 qualifiers against Bulgarlia and Switzerland) but was prepared to play through the pain against Young Boys. He added: "Everyone wants to play in the Champions League. On Tuesday nights, you don't want to be at home watching Eastenders.”

But Spurs provided the soap opera moments in the teeming rain of north London last night. The little sinner, the cockney market trader shouting the odds from the sidelines, the massed ranks of anxious extras... and a starring role for the the lanky bloke caught in the love triangle. It was all there, complete with the fairy-tale ending.

Pomp and circumstance combine to give FA Cup a revival Avram won't take for Granted. Now they've got Spurs or Fulham and it's Villa v Chelsea

IN case you missed it on ITV (ah, that's where they're hiding the FA Cup quarter-finals, I hear you say), Portsmouth, the world's poorest club, are through to the semi-finals of football's oldest knock-out competition.

They play the winners of the Fulham v Spurs replay (after an eminently missable quarter-final yesterday) while Aston Villa take on holders Chelsea in the other semi.

But Pompey are the focus. Incredible. The FA Cup may have passed you by this season (apart from the monumental Leeds win over Manchester United from which Leeds have never really recovered) but Pompey, in administration and rock-bottom of the Premier League, are still in there battling.

A place in the last four and a semi at Wembley won't save the club. They won the competition two years ago in a low-key final against Cardiff and still plunged into a desperate position within 18 months.

But the money they earned from yesterday's unexpected 2-0 win over a deeply unhappy Birmingham (about £1m) won't harm the club's chances of bouncing straight back up next season.

Mind you, acccording to Paul Smith in today's Sunday Mirror, Pompey will make half their staff redundant tomorrow, so serious is their financial plight.

Former Chelsea boss Avram Grant, the Israeli equally famous for his rousing massages rather than his rabble-raising messages this season, is unlikely to be there as the club battles tax bills and debts of around £70million but Pompey fans will be more concerned about whether the club can hold on to Frederic Piquionne, who got both goals yesterday.

Grant, who has struggled through the club's problems admirably, said: 'You can break many things, but you cannot break our spirit. This meant a lot to me.'

'I came into this game because of the passion and emotion. It makes me proud to see the fans so happy. I have had many happy moments but this is one of the best.'

Portsmouth go to the High Court on March 15 where the tax man will attempt to end the 112-year history of Portsmouth FC but this remarkable triumph may just help persuade people that the club is a viable concern, despite all those debts, five owners in a year and a Fratton Park ground which looks like something out of an Antiques Roadshow.

It may also help to raise the profile of a tournament which has really struggled this year. After Manchester United's failure against Leeds, Arsenal plunged out to Manchester City and last week all four fifth round replays were absent from the television as ITV preferred, understandably, to cover Chelsea's Champions League clash with Jose Mourinho's Inter Milan.

If ever a club and a competition deserved a miracle, it's the FA Cup. Come on Pompey.

I must declare an interest. My dad Bob has supported the Blues since before the war. The thought of the club folding is simply unacceptable.

So too is the thought of Portsmouth going out to Spurs, assuming they beat Roy Hodgson's stubborn Fulham in a replay people won't be rushing to watch. My old boss Hodgson knows how to ruin flowing football - he was a very average full-back but has a great footballing brain - but I can't see them surviving at White Hart Lane.

So Redknapp, the former Southampton boss who twice spent an awful lot of money at Portsmouth, will go to Wembley intent on knocking a final nail or two in a very Blue season. No guessing who I'll be backing.

Villa came from 2-0 down to see off plucky Reading 4-2, Chelsea were never really threatened by Stoke with Frank Lampard and John Terry scoring the goals in a 2-0 romp. Afterwards we were treated to a topless Terry being asked anodyne questions about the captain's armband.

Of for a decent question at that point like: "What point are you trying to make with the captain's armband John - that Fabio Capello should never have taken the England captaincy away from you for your lack of morals?"

Mind you, Carlos Tevez, the man who said Terry "would lose his legs or worse" for his tinkering with Wayne Bridge's missus, has been exposed in the Sunday Mirror today for seeing some blonde while his wife Vanesa is at home in Argentina tending to their premature child.

To be honest, the whole tabloid-footballer-sex scandal thing is getting tedious - The Sun did Patrice Evra on Saturday - just wish there wasn't a market for it.

Honest prediction for the FA Cup? Chelsea beating Spurs in the last big domestic event before the World Cup. And Arsenal sneaking up on the rails to take the Premier League crown after Manchester United's lacklustre 1-0 win over Wolves yesterday.
PPS: My good friend and chef Gavin Billenness - the next Jamie Oliver - has produced a recipe for "manly" sports nuts to try (at my request, the kids are tired of meatballs). I'll be sweating over the hot oven soon: http://gavinbillenness.blogspot.com/2010/03/penne-with-chorizo-and-tomato.html

Hey big spenders! How do Spurs do it?

BACK page of my beloved but soon-to-die London Lite today (e-edition.thelondonlite.co.uk) had to be all about Spurs and their record profits. Last year, according to the accountants, they made over £33m, up from a meagre £3m last year.
But further analysis reveals chairman Daniel Levy has done more than just balance the books with Harry Redknapp over the past 12 months. Miraculously, given this set of results, my sums show they have actually spent almost £150m in 16 months, with Juande Ramos (Roman Pavlyuchenko, Luka Modric, Heurelho Gomes) doing the early buying before Harry came in and re-signed departed Spurs favourites Robbie Keane and Jermain Defoe plus, more recently, Sebastien Bassong, Niko Kranjcar and Peter Crouch.
Yes, while North London rivals Arsenal scrabble for scraps (okay, Andrey Arshavin (£16m) and Thomas Vermaelen (£10m) were good buys, but we've hardly seen a mega-spree from Arsene Wenger) Spurs have splashed out £150m since the summer before last - only mega-bucks Manchester City in the Premier League and, further afield, Real Madrid can beat that.
Spurs spent £119.3m in the year ending June 2009, but their books don't show the further £29.4m spent on Crouch, Bassong and Kranjcar, which puts quite a big dent in that record profit of £33.4m.
Arsenal, Manchester United, Chelsea, Liverpool? Not even close on the spending front. How the hell do Spurs do it, on smaller crowds with recession-hit backers... and they're redeveloping White Hart Lane, building a new training ground and... I dunno.
Look, here's the Lite quotes from Levy, make of them what you will in the light of their spending: "We have made significant progress in delivering on our long-term vision for the club. We have always had three key priorities and you will have heard them oft repeated - investment in the first team, a new training centre and an increased capacity, state-of-the-art new stadium.
"We have assembled what we believe to be one of the most talented squads we have had during our time in the Premier League, the ground is being turned and pitches laid for the new training centre at Bulls Cross in Enfield and we have submitted a planning application for a stunning new stadium on a site next to our existing stadium."
Levy is in talks over a new shirt sponsorship contract from next season, with the deal with Mansion set to expire at the end of the current campaign. God on the shirts next year perhaps? They'll need Him to maintain those spending levels!
Oh, and son Harry has just called from the car. England's cricketers, after that bright start to their tour in South Africa, went into game three in Bloemfontein today - their first Twenty20 of the safari against South Africa A - expecting another stonking win. I hear they were all out for 89. Gulp. South Africa's also-rans got there with 15 balls and four wickets to spare. And what did I say in the Lite today? I quoted Graeme Swann saying they'd be fine without captain Andrew Strauss, who doesn't get on with the shortest version of the game. He got 72 and 117 not out in those first two 50-over wins. Only Alistair Cook (22), Eoin Morgan (11) and Paul Collingwood (18) got double-figures today. Ouch. Check out Swanny and James Anderson on twitter.com later. There may be belated fireworks!