Two games in, and the PSL is already hard to Swallow. Especially for Brazilians.

Top man: Swallows boss Zeca Marques

FOOTBALL confounds. Absolute football confounds absolutely. And I am confounded.

What on earth are Zeca Marques' Moroka Swallows doing at the top of the PSL? How did Stuart Baxter and his depleted Kaizer Chiefs win their first three games of the season? When exactly did Moneyloadi Sundowns go from loan rangers to groan dangers?

It's been a helluva start to the PSL season. Masandawana can't win a game for love or money. The champions kicked off with an MTN 8 quarter-final defeat against Platinum Stars, who sold half their squad over the winter. Then they were held by modest Maritzburg United's late penalty before last night's crushing 1-0 defeat at Ajax Cape Town.

Yes, Roger de Sa's kids, nine of them fresh out of the academy and none over 25, dismantled Pitso Mosimane's millionaires, with their squad of 64 players being handed out around the country like confetti. Roger laughed: "I thought they coped quite well with the best the PSL has to offer."

Pitso took it on the chin. He generally does: "That is football. They'll look at the coach now. But all those crosses and nobody on the end of them… it's hard times here."

Fear not Masandawana fans. Sundowns may be playing like Brazilians (against Germany in the World Cup semi-final) but they will recover. They have too much quality to stay third-bottom of the PSL for long.


It's at the top of the table you have to raise hairy eyebrows. Before the season started Stuart Baxter, the firsts foreign coach to win a PSL title in his opening season in 2013, was under huge pressure. His loyal AmaKhosi were openly pessimistic about the new season with no big signings made (again) while Simphiwe Tshabalala and Bernard Parker were both out injured and Knowledge Musona was off fiddling with Hoffenheim in Germany and Granada in Spain.

Somehow, without their three major scorers from last season, Chiefs have won their opening three games with transfer-listed Mandla Masango scoring three and Reneilwe Letsholonwane two, including a cracker in an epic 2-1 win over Mpumalanga Black Aces last night.


But that's the new PSL trend. The rags to riches stories abound already. Aubrey Ngoma, making his debut on loan for Aces, produced an absolute scorcher to level at Mbombela, Ndumiso Mabena, another unwanted Pirate, scored two more last night to rocket to the top of the scorers charts and… and then there's Zeca.


He just wasn't supposed to beat Orlando Pirates and promoted Chippa United. But the Dube Birds have taken wing at the start of the marathon.

Hard to Swallows: the PSL table. Sundowns fans should view upside-down

Yup, the opening skirmishes of the PSL have been great. 12 goals in the opening round. 20 in the second. 32 goals in 16 games ain't a bad start. It's not just about goals, it's an attitude. Say it out loud: "We can't afford to lose" or "Win at all costs". You know the latter makes sense.


I have just one negative I feel I have to offer. While all this is going on, our newly appointed national coach Shakes Mashaba flew off to Cameroon with South Africa's Under 20s yesterday. Yes, he loves his AmaJitas.

But while he's off trying to qualify for the Under 20 AFCON and World Cup, our senior Bafana Bafana face Sudan away in barely a fortnight, unless Ebola scuppers the whole thing. Then we've got Nigeria in Cape Town.

And Shakes isn't even here to attend PSL games, talk to coaches, assess players first hand. It's not normal. Just like signing a deal with an unknown, unstarted SiyayaTV is not normal. Especially when the national broadcaster wasn't even involved in discussions.


It's all very strange. But for now, let's just keep enjoying the goals. The rise of Mabena, Masango and all those other unfashionable stars.


We'll worry about Bafana at the end of the month. A lot.

SOCCERBALLZ! my innovative football show on www.ballz.co.za with Mark Fish airs every Thursday from 9am-11am. See Ballz' channel for our growing library of fascinating football interviews with the big names. Ballz will also provide daily World Cup updates from next week.

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news and read my “Neal and Pray” column every Tuesday in www.thenewage.co.za. 

CLOSE SHAVES AND SOWETO DERBIES: why Kaizer Chiefs will emerge triumphant in front of 90,000 on Saturday

Derby date: Majoro makes the switch

JUST when you thought it was safe to predict a solid Soweto Derby win for Kaizer Chiefs, along comes a wet Wednesday night in the PSL to put all prophesies on hold.

While Orlando Pirates – complete with new boss Vladimir “Work Permit” Vermezovic and substitute Lehlohonolo “Big Ballz” Majoro – sloshed their way to a 1-0 win over Moroka Swallows in the "original" Soweto derby, Platinum Stars ended the AmaKhosi’s four-month streak with a comprehensive 2-0 win at the Royal Bafokeng Stadium.

Shock swept the nation, much like the monsoon currently engulging us. Chiefs, unbeaten since Ajax Cape Town on November 5, went in to the game against Allan Freese’s unsung heroes on the back of an emphatic 7-0 African Champions League triumph over Mozambique champions Liga Muçulmana with Knowledge Musona slamming a quick hat-trick in Maputo.

This was supposed to be No 18. Stuart Baxter, who won the PSL and Nedbank Cup double in his first season at Naturena last year, completely under-estimated the Fokeng Crocodiles, ignoring the fact Dikwena had gobbled up the MTN8 and Telkom KO silverware before Christmas.

Mbax “rested” his three top scorers – Knowledge, Kingston Nkatha and the PSL’s hottest shot Bernard Parker – and opted to go with a rusty Katlego “Killer” Mphela up front on his own. Surprisingly, Wolverhampton-born Baxter also went with his infamous “three towers” formation with Morgan Gould, Tefu Mashamaite and Eric Mathoho forming a centre-back triangle, much like that one off Bermuda where people go missing.

Freese’s men never looked back. The impressive Siphelele Mthembu threaded his way through the trio of towers after just nine minutes to beat goalkeeping stand-in Reyaad Pieterse and free-scoring Malawian Robert Ng'ambi wrapped things up on the hour, chesting home the second on the far post.

Close shave: getting rid of the "Kaizer Chiefs unbeaten"
beard during BOLLOCKZ! at Ballz this morning

By then, the impatient AmaKhosi, gloating over their 17-match run of W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-D-D-W-W-W-W, were beginning to grumble. Even the arrival of Knowledge and Kingston failed to cheer things up. The leaders were well-beaten. The beard I started way back at the start of that run was GONE – I promised Stuart I’d shave when they lost, and I spent this morning presenting my football show BOLLOCKZ! while ridding myself of facial hair.

And throughout that high-quality clash in Fokeng, Orlando Pirates were producing a vital but unspectacular win at Dobsonville.

Kermit Erasmus, so poor in caretaker Eric Tinkler’s final game – a hugely disappointing 1-0 defeat at the hands of AmaTuks – did EXACTLY what he said he would and upped his game. The former SuperSport United man hit the post early on and then crashed home the only goal of the game to put a rare smile on VV’s face.

After his first game in charge, Vlad said before the gigantic clash against his former club: “It was the win we needed to lift the mood before the Soweto Derby. There is still a lot to be done. But I watched the reserves today, Klate, Sangweni and the rest are all ready to step up to the first team.”

With the Chiefs run broken and Pirates apparently rejuvenated by their new coach, those confident predictions of continued AmaKhosi success are scuppered. Mphela? He wouldn’t need Barry Roux to rid him of the “Killer” tag right now. He is entirely innocent, he hasn't produced a lethal shot in ages. For the first time this season, tough midfielder Willard Katsande was unable to halt the opposition’s flow, only Simphiwe Tshabalala appeared to be ready and willing on a difficult night in the North West.

And with the BIG ONE looming, it’s all going off. Majoro emerged after his brief first outing for Pirates since his controversial move from Chiefs to say he was prepared for the boo-boys at Soccer City on Saturday, eager to prove his point against his former team-mates. AmaKhosi captain and goalkeeper Itumeleng Khune, officially out for a month after spraining his ankle before Bafana Bafana’s record 5-0 defeat against Brazil, is now rated 50-50 to play in front of 90,000 in South Africa’s showpiece. A miraculous recovery.

And then there was Zeca Marques, the crest-fallen Swallows boss, telling us: “There is no justice in football. Senzo Meyiwa was Pirates man of the match, he made two great saves in the second half. No way we should have lost that game.”

And Zeca’s right. Pirates weren’t that impressive. Chiefs will have their three big guns back on Saturday. Baxter knows defeat in the Soweto Derby will put dangerous Bidvest Wits right back in it if they beat lowly Free State Stars in the evening game on Saturday.

That combination of results will put the Clever Boys firmly back in the Hunt, as Gavin will point out: a game in hand, three points behind.

Baxter is well aware of that. Chiefs can’t lose on Saturday. Pirates aren’t good enough to beat them. But a draw might suit both parties. Me? I’m going for an AmaKhosi win with Parker, Musona and/or Nkatha back in the starting line-up.

But this is the Derby. Only a madman makes predictions when Chiefs play Pirates. Form counts for nothing they say. So I’m sticking to my guns: Chiefs 3-1.

Whilst I was shaving, also spoke to Danny Jordaan, the SAFA president about the future of Bafana Bafana and our women, Banyana Banyana, on BOLLOCKZ! this morning. The interview is HERE:

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 BOLLOCKZ! my innovative football show on www.ballz.co.za airs every Thursday from 9am-11am. See Ballz' channel for our growing library of fascinating football interviews with the big names. 

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news… and read my “Neal & Pray” column every Tuesday in www.thenewage.co.za.

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