ONE POINT AND NO HOPE: The Bafana Bafana verdict. Warning: contains criticism.

ONE POINT: Shakes Mashaba promised FIVE

The sickness that lies at the heart of South African football can no longer be ignored. Bafana Bafana’s epic failure in Equatorial Guinea has reduced the proud diski nation to a laughing stock, a model for rival African nations to ignore.

Ephraim Mashaba, a coach tried several times before at the pinnacle of our game, epitomises the failings, the blind spots, the weaknesses. After a strong performance in qualifying where AFCON 2013 champions Nigeria were left behind by unbeaten Shakes and his new model army, we were just starting to believe.

Then the arrogance crept in. The arrogance that makes South Africa the team to beat all over the continent. And boy, do we take a beating up north. And not just on the football pitch.

Rather than pushing on with SAFA’s vision of a new, young Bafana Bafana, Mashaba led us straight up the garden path and in to the rickety shed marked “Same old mistakes”. Or is it “Same old Shakes”?

He said he’d win it. He shrugged off the Group of Death. He promised us success, like a punch-drunk boxer trying to extend a canvas-licking career. Laughable really, from a man who complained about being described as the “cheap but sensible” option by this writer (quoting SAFA president Danny Jordaan) from the outset.

Going in to a distinctly dodgy tournament where the banned hosts were offered the easiest of draws and South Africa were pooled with three of the toughest nations on the continent, Shakes sneered: “This is not the Group of Death, this is the Group of Life. It’s not about "will we go through?" but who will go through with us.”

He said we would pick up five points and remain unbeaten against Algeria, Senegal and Ghana. When he departed Oliver Tambo International, he told us: “I’ve packed for six weeks, I’m not coming back early, no way.”

And here we are, on a bleak morning lightened only by the blessed relief of Eskom load shedding in many areas and obscuring our view. We ended with ONE POINT. We ended BOTTOM OF THE GROUP. We ended WITH THE SAME OLD EXCUSES.


The Mashaba explanation this morning: "We want to win, we just don't know how to."

Shakes went to the tournament defying all conventions. In his arrogance, those who, like me, asked questions about his bizarre 34-man provisional squad found themselves blocked by SAFA and Bafana Bafana on twitter. He picked nine players belonging to one agent, several of whom weren’t even playing regularly for their clubs in the PSL.

At a loss: how South Africans feel this morning

Time and again he refused to listen to reasonable pleas for sanity. May Mahlangu was banned for being fatigued. FC Twente’s Kamehelo Mokotjo had already been dumped and told he “looked heavy” after travelling 12000 miles and not making an appearance early in his reign. The final straw? Thulani Serero, our only Champions League star, was booted out when he “didn’t report to camp”. Thing was, SAFA had told him to report on January 4. He was axed on December 30. Work that one out.

And then, of course, the ridiculous hype before the tournament. The dodgy friendly wins so reminiscent of the pre-World Cup era in 2010. Zambia, Cameroon, Mali all too comfortably dealt with, encouraging a tidal wave of Shakes-mania with no questions asked. For a nation still living under the shadow of unpunished match-fixing the naivety was – is – astonishing.

By the time Sports Minister Fikile Mbalula arrived to assume his role as sport’s least attractive – and loudest – cheerleader, Bafana had already thrown away the opening game against Algeria. Mbalula was allowed to strut around the camp, with no questions asked. He was “calming the nerves” and “entertaining our troops” according to one of our top broadcasters. What a joke.

Criticism, even at that point, was condemned as unpatriotic. Inaccurate reports from within the camp, where only “approved” journalists dared to tread, gave us hilarious tales: Rivaldo Coetzee was “too mentally weak to recover from his knee problem”; Brilliant Khuzwayo was “aloof and arrogant”; Oupa Manyisa was “dropped after a late afternoon training injury”.

All utter balderdash. With lickspittle assistants Owen Da Gama and Thabo Senong (and the SAFA media men) egging him on, Shakes could do no wrong. Refusing to confirm his captain until the last possible minute, changing goalkeepers for all three games (and the preceding friendlies), playing Manyisa on the left, calling up Ayanda Gcaba, a THIRD Orlando Pirates right back, when Patrick Phungwayo’s injury struck.

These were the actions of a man out of control, unable to contain his enthusiasm for his own voice, his own bizarre views on football. He acts like Sir Alex Ferguson but has the talent of Vladimir Vermecovic.

Three times at AFCON 2015, Bafana went 1-0 up. Three times Mashaba failed to adjust to the situation, hold on to a lead, show even an ounce of modern tactical acumen. He went in to the tournament with two-and-a-half centre-backs and no left-footed talent.

SAFA president Jordaan promised me Mashaba’s appointment would be followed by the naming of a “fully-qualified, big-name” Technical Director. Danny said Shakes would have sessions with FIFA’s guru Gerard Houllier, the former Liverpool boss. Instead, Mashaba was left to do his own thing, have his own way.

Instead, fuelled by the growing crowd of yes-men surrounding him, Shakes completely lost the plot. Any advantages gained in a qualifying campaign which defied the loss of Senzo Meyiwa and Itumeleng Khune are lost. The youngsters – apart from Rivaldo Coetzee, who isn’t half the man Tefu Mashamaite is – have faded from view.

While his beloved AmaJita blossomed at the Commonwealth Cup in Russia under caretaker David Ntoane, Mashaba was fiddling with players who have simply passed their best-by date. In the end, the average age in Equatorial Guinea was barely a year younger than Gordon Igesund’s squad in 2013, who surged through their AFCON group and went out in the quarter-finals on penalties.

There are no signs of improvement from the dark days of #ingordwetrust. #shakesknowsbest reveals no real crusade for youth, no departure from the agent collusion confirmed by PSL chairman Irvin Khoza before Christmas.

All I see is a repeat of 2003, when Mashaba was fired for refusing to pick our overseas stars for a friendly against England. Speak to those lads today, ask them about Shakes and his methods. Or have an off-the-record chat with most of the top PSL coaches. What was it Mark Fish said to me the day Shakes got the job? “This is a massive step backwards”.

After the disastrous failure against Ghana, Shakes emerged with this: “I think we need to go back to our basics of playing football, knowing when to do things, how to do things, and where to do them.

"Why rush when you're one goal up? Why were we were knocking it back to them? That's where the problems lie."

The problem lies of course with Mashaba himself. Our top European stars, playing at a level far better than you’ll ever see in the PSL, aren’t just absent. They are banished.

The heart of South Africa’s brave new world – Serero, Mokotjo and Mahlangu with Siyanda Xulu and others barely mentioned – has been torn out. They’re all under 25 and on the Bafana scrapheap.

We have no idea who our best goalkeeper is this morning. Neither does Shakes. We have no idea why Kermit Erasmus and Lehlohonolo Majoro were left behind. Does Shakes?

We will cling on to Mandla Masango’s cracking volley last night but in truth: how many shots did we have? I have yet to see a nation capable of taking this AFCON by the scruff of the neck but we’re going home with the sniggers of the continent ringing in our ears.


Then this from Mashaba: "Thanks to the people back home, they are sad today. But next time they will be happy." Really? Next time?

Shakes, of course, is going nowhere. The yes men and chubby cheerleaders will see to that.

So we look forward to what? A PSL, resuming on February 10, racked by dodgy agents and “club managers”; a domestic game with falling attendances and academies closed by age cheating. A transfer window dominated by a failure to extend contracts rather than a search for new talent. A top flight where the unbeaten leaders are 18 points clear without the need for a real striker.

Our only hope of reclaiming respectability? Strong performances from Mamelodi Sundowns and Kaizer Chiefs in the African Champions League.

I won’t be holding my breath.

Two games in, and the PSL is already hard to Swallow. Especially for Brazilians.

Top man: Swallows boss Zeca Marques

FOOTBALL confounds. Absolute football confounds absolutely. And I am confounded.

What on earth are Zeca Marques' Moroka Swallows doing at the top of the PSL? How did Stuart Baxter and his depleted Kaizer Chiefs win their first three games of the season? When exactly did Moneyloadi Sundowns go from loan rangers to groan dangers?

It's been a helluva start to the PSL season. Masandawana can't win a game for love or money. The champions kicked off with an MTN 8 quarter-final defeat against Platinum Stars, who sold half their squad over the winter. Then they were held by modest Maritzburg United's late penalty before last night's crushing 1-0 defeat at Ajax Cape Town.

Yes, Roger de Sa's kids, nine of them fresh out of the academy and none over 25, dismantled Pitso Mosimane's millionaires, with their squad of 64 players being handed out around the country like confetti. Roger laughed: "I thought they coped quite well with the best the PSL has to offer."

Pitso took it on the chin. He generally does: "That is football. They'll look at the coach now. But all those crosses and nobody on the end of them… it's hard times here."

Fear not Masandawana fans. Sundowns may be playing like Brazilians (against Germany in the World Cup semi-final) but they will recover. They have too much quality to stay third-bottom of the PSL for long.


It's at the top of the table you have to raise hairy eyebrows. Before the season started Stuart Baxter, the firsts foreign coach to win a PSL title in his opening season in 2013, was under huge pressure. His loyal AmaKhosi were openly pessimistic about the new season with no big signings made (again) while Simphiwe Tshabalala and Bernard Parker were both out injured and Knowledge Musona was off fiddling with Hoffenheim in Germany and Granada in Spain.

Somehow, without their three major scorers from last season, Chiefs have won their opening three games with transfer-listed Mandla Masango scoring three and Reneilwe Letsholonwane two, including a cracker in an epic 2-1 win over Mpumalanga Black Aces last night.


But that's the new PSL trend. The rags to riches stories abound already. Aubrey Ngoma, making his debut on loan for Aces, produced an absolute scorcher to level at Mbombela, Ndumiso Mabena, another unwanted Pirate, scored two more last night to rocket to the top of the scorers charts and… and then there's Zeca.


He just wasn't supposed to beat Orlando Pirates and promoted Chippa United. But the Dube Birds have taken wing at the start of the marathon.

Hard to Swallows: the PSL table. Sundowns fans should view upside-down

Yup, the opening skirmishes of the PSL have been great. 12 goals in the opening round. 20 in the second. 32 goals in 16 games ain't a bad start. It's not just about goals, it's an attitude. Say it out loud: "We can't afford to lose" or "Win at all costs". You know the latter makes sense.


I have just one negative I feel I have to offer. While all this is going on, our newly appointed national coach Shakes Mashaba flew off to Cameroon with South Africa's Under 20s yesterday. Yes, he loves his AmaJitas.

But while he's off trying to qualify for the Under 20 AFCON and World Cup, our senior Bafana Bafana face Sudan away in barely a fortnight, unless Ebola scuppers the whole thing. Then we've got Nigeria in Cape Town.

And Shakes isn't even here to attend PSL games, talk to coaches, assess players first hand. It's not normal. Just like signing a deal with an unknown, unstarted SiyayaTV is not normal. Especially when the national broadcaster wasn't even involved in discussions.


It's all very strange. But for now, let's just keep enjoying the goals. The rise of Mabena, Masango and all those other unfashionable stars.


We'll worry about Bafana at the end of the month. A lot.

SOCCERBALLZ! my innovative football show on www.ballz.co.za with Mark Fish airs every Thursday from 9am-11am. See Ballz' channel for our growing library of fascinating football interviews with the big names. Ballz will also provide daily World Cup updates from next week.

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news and read my “Neal and Pray” column every Tuesday in www.thenewage.co.za.