British transfer expert known only as THE MOLE makes his debut on BOLLOCKZ! Guess who he is and WIN the brand new Orlando Pirates shirt!

THE MOLE made his debut on chapter three of BOLLOCKZ! my new football show on www.ballz.co.za this morning. You can listen to our interview by clicking on the arrow above. Mind the mole claws.


With a broad north London accent and a shrewd understanding of the British transfer market, THE MOLE told us: "I don't know if Arsenal really want Luis Suarez from Liverpool with all the baggage he brings. He's got an agent, obviously, who is putting his name around to all and sundry."


The Mole also told us about Argentine striker Gonzalo Higuain's possible move to the Gunners from Real Madrid amid suggestions the cash could, ironically, be used by the Spanish giants to fund their bid for Tottenham's Welsh Wizard Gareth Bale.


We also talked about Chelsea's new signing, Phil Neville's elevation to assistant manager at Manchester United under his former Everton boss David Moyes - and the possibility of Wayne Rooney playing in London.


Earlier in the show, I talked to former Orlando Pirates star Mark Fish - dressed in my old 2011 "Treble Winners" Sea Robbers jersey. Mark and I chatted about the old Pirates African conquering side and touched on his ONLY international appearance in the COSAFA Cup in 1998 - a 3-2 extra-time defeat against Namibia in Windhoek.


That Bafana side featured Benni McCarthy, Philemon Masinga and a host of star - but still came a cropper! See our discussion on video below.


Also on BOLLOCKZ yesterday Buccaneers PRO Mickey Modisane promised I would be the FIRST to wear the new "back to black" Pirates jersey on July 16.


I'll swap jerseys to do just that LIVE on the day - but the brand new shirt will go to a lucky reader of my blog IF they can give me the identity of THE MOLE! Simply post your answers to www.twitter.com/nealcol over the next week for a chance to win!


I'll post the Mickey Modisane interview later. The general aim is to build a nationwide head of steam before Pirates renew their Champions League challenge against Congo's AC Leopards at the Orlando Stadium on July 20.

South Africa v FIFA: Fikile Mbalula, SAFA, SASCOC and match-fixing: what's at stake (plus eNCAnews footage)

WITH South Africa facing serious allegations of match-fixing, FIFA and SAFA are at logger-heads over the way ahead - and Bafana Bafana could pay the price.

Ultimately (see video above, from today's eNCAnews) it comes down to this: South Africa must obey FIFA, deal with the match-fixing report and suspend the relevant SAFA members OR they must defy FIFA, hold a more general government inquiry in to SAFA's affairs and present their conclusions.

Tonight Kirsten Nemetandani, the SAFA President, insists there is no threat of a FIFA suspension but the world football body is KNOWN for taking sweeping action if they do not get their way. South Africa's increasingly promising crusade to reach the World Cup in Brazil next year could be in jeopardy.

It's Bafana Bafana the people care about, not SAFA's suits. And though I generally agree with Sports Minister Fikile Mbalula, I suspect FIFA's Jerome Valcke - now a South African citizen through marriage - knows certain members of SAFA will get off lightly if the government are involved.

Irvin Khosa, the Orlando Pirates owner who also runs the NSL, PSL and is a vice-president of FIFA, is effectively President Jacob Zuma's father-in-law after the Iron Duke's daughter Sonono gave birth to the polygamous leader's 20th child in 2011. There are reports of a second child since.

Khoza is the major power-player in South Africa sport. He even announced he would stand for the presidency of the South African Olympic organisation SASCOC last year but later withdrew. Though he was not one of five SAFA executives suspended - and subsequently reinstated - after the match-fixing report, his role must come under scrutiny.

Perhaps this is why FIFA don't want the government involved in the SAFA investigation. Or perhaps FIFA simply don't want further dodgy dealings exposed - particularly before, during and after the World Cup. Or maybe they are simply sticking to the old "no government involvement" line.

I have never liked the way FIFA run things. I'd back Fikile over the dictatorial "lifelong" FIFA president Sepp Blatter any day... but there are huge issues at stake. Here's why.

After a letter from FIFA warning Sports Minister Mbalula NOT to get involved in a judicial hearing over their report on the four pre-World Cup friendlies in 2010, a war of words broke out today less than 24 hour after the release of the World Cup 2010 report highlighting the success of South African football.

In line with their general policy, FIFA secretary-general Valcke co-signed the letter warning Mbalula: “Herewith we would like to emphasise that any other issues not related to the above should be handled entirely by Safa, as otherwise this would constitute interference in the internal affairs of Safa affairs by a third party and would clearly violate the principles contained in articles 13 and 17 of the Fifa statutes.”

Today, a "visibly upset" Mbalula fumed: "You do not write such a letter without speaking to a respected government. You speak to people in government and you speak to the minister.

"I will never accept that on behalf of this government. That is denigrating, undermining and they have got no regard for us."

Mbalula said he was "shocked and upset" by what he called "wild assumptions" but the truth is, his reaction will simply push Bafana Bafana - who heard today they will play their crucial away qualifier against the Central African Republic on a neutral ground - towards FIFA suspension and possible World Cup disqualification.

From FIFA's point of view, SAFA simply MUST deal with the match-fixing allegations. But with SASCOC getting involved this week, Mbalula clearly envisages a wider judicial inquiry than that agreed with FIFA 10 days ago. Both he and the Olympian meddler Tubby Reddy want to know why SAFA are currently in R92m debt after hosting both the 2010 World Cup and this year's African Cup of Nations.

They want to know if the R100m FIFA Legacy Fund is safe from pillaging - and what has happened to sponsorship cash.

Generally, I side with Mbalula here. But I doubt if a government-led inquiry will be effective. If FIFA can find a judge prepared to limit his inquiry in to the match-fixing issue alone, I can see REAL action being taken.

That would see many of the current SAFA executives thrown out - leaving the way open for Danny Jordaan, the man behind a hugely successful World Cup, to take over as president in September, when elections are due.

That might just be the best solution - Jordaan would then be able to clean-up SAFA leaving Gordon Igesund to continue the push for World Cup qualification unhindered by suspension and intrigue.

.

Here's my original response to FIFA's match fixing report:

What we know about Oscar Pistorius. And what we don't

Reeva and friends, retweeted on twitter by Francois Hougaard

There is a thin but comforting line between sport and news. This week, for obvious reasons, the vibrant world of goals, trophies and fans was rudely interrupted by the sound of gunfire.

Oscar Pistorius, the first amputee to compete in the able-bodied Olympics in London this year, is one of South Africa’s few globally recognised sporting stars. The news that he had shot his model girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp simply shook the world we live in, turned sport upside-down.

Yes, Popes resign, meteorites flash across Russian skies, trains crash… and sport carries glibly on, reporting on Robin van Persie versus Cristiano Ronaldo, South Africa v Pakistan… even Bafana Bafana v Mali despite the war raging around Timbuktu.

But Oscar impinges. He is a genuine sporting hero. Loved by all for his tenacity in the face of being born with no shin bones, his ability to lead an superstar sporting life while most others would retire to a wheelchair and self-pity.

How do we cope when a star of that magnitude appears to be crashing and burning?

The initial tale – picked up wholeheartedly by the Oscar-sympathetic newspapers – suggested he had mistaken the beautiful Reeva for an intruder in his high-security estate. Tragic but accidental.

But once details from unnamed police sources emerged, that theory appeared to fall apart. By Sunday morning, we had suggestions of blood in the bedroom, a shot fired, a cricket bat used… and a frightened woman hiding in the bathroom. Then four bullets through the door.

Two of those bullets hit Reeva in the head. She did not die instantly. Lurid eye-witness reports suggest Oscar tried to resuscitate his girlfriend – though why he called a mutual friend rather than the emergency services to report the incident remain unexplained.

All we can say with any confidence before Oscar’s return to court on Tuesday is that he pulled the trigger, he - and he alone - killed the woman he called “baba”.

With former Sun editor Stuart Higgins arriving to provide “positive spin” to his heavyweight legal team, we read of Oscar’s father Henke telling the UK Sunday Telegraph: “Crime is endemic in South Africa. When you see somebody in your house, you shoot.”

He went on to explain how “Oscar grew up hunting, my sons grew up with guns” and he said Oscar's action were "instinctive - and sportsmen react to instinct" but that hardly explains the need for small arms in a secure estate – or why Oscar had SEVEN more gun licences pending.

It doesn’t explain recent incidents involving the police where Oscar had lost his cool with so-called “love rivals” Quinton van den Bergh and Francois Hougaard.

As journalists – even sports journalists – we are trained not to pre-judge issues until all the facts come to light. In this case, we must attempt to stick to that creed.

But it’s damned difficult.

I’ve spoken to a lad who went to Constantia Primary with Oscar. He says, disabled or not, Pistorius was a bully. That he was cock of the walk at Pretoria Boy’s High. That he was, predictably for a sporting celebrity, surrounded by sycophantic yes men who let him act as he pleased.

The more recent of the many women in his life suggest he was not the most chivalrous of men. Others talk of his parents' divorce, his mother's death. A bloke who, for all his talent, went the way of so many top sportsmen... down the road of arrogance, shagging and insecurity

And always, in the background, the beautiful Reeva, loved by all. Gone.

Given recent cases – Shrien Dewani and Nico Henning spring to mind, just have a look on Google – it’s hard to believe in justice for the well-off and famous. But we must. On Tuesday, let’s hear what forensics have to say. If today's police leaks were accurate. How Oscar’s legal team explain away the shooting of multiple bullets at an apparently defenceless woman.

And hope that justice is done.

This story will appear as my Neal and Pray column in www.thenewage.co.za on Tuesday.

One last blast before the holidays with Ballz visual radio

England coach Capello names retired Carragher, but earns his six Spurs

FABIO CAPELLO produced a shocking England squad today – but provided clear leadership in a nation currently struggling to find a Prime Minister after a chaotic general election.

Capello rewarded SIX Tottenham players for their performances in qualifying for the Champions League for the first time this morning as he reeled off his 30 names. But he admits it will be “much more difficult” to trim the party to 23 on June 1.

Liverpool’s Jamie Carrager, who retired from international football in 2007 under former England boss Steve McClaren, is in and likely to add unexpectedly to his 34 caps.

Two uncapped players – former Middlesbrough winger Adam Johnson of Manchester City and Spurs centre-back Michael Dawson – both feature.

Ledley King, the Tottenham club captain who can play just once a week due to his knee problems, is also included, along with White Hart Lane midfielder Tom Huddlestone. Chelsea’s Joe Cole has sneaked in despite limited playing time at Chelsea but there is no room for veterans Garry Neville and Sol Campbell, despite impressive displays this season.

Injured Manchester City midfielder Gareth Barry joins the squad but West Ham’s Scott Parker is a surprise midfield selection if he doesn’t make it. Former Spurs striker Darren Bent, who scored 24 goals for lowly Sunderland, gets the nod with triple player of the season Wayne Rooney, Emile Heskey, Jermain Defoe and Peter Crouch up front.

Capello – known as Generalissimo for his iron-discipline – said: “It’s really important that some players put in the team understand the value of playing for England, as David Beckham did.

“I am happy with the 30. It’s not easy. It will be really difficult to decide the final 23. Every player is a really good player but I have to decide who will stay home.

“This is the really difficult time for me. If they are all playing well in training, it will be hard to send seven players home. The French manager is selecting 24, but I will select 30, because FIFA decided we have to do that.

“If we have injury, we don’t know. Wayne Rooney is good. I think he will be fit for next week when we start training.”

Goalkeepers: Joe Hart, David James, Robert Green.

Defenders: Leighton Baines, Jamie Carragher, Ashley Cole, Michael Dawson, Rio Ferdinand, Glen Johnson, Ledley King, John Terry, Matthew Upson, Stephen Warnock.

Midfielders: Gareth Barry, Michael Carrick, Joe Cole, , Tom Huddlestone, Adam Johnson, Frank Lampard, Aaron Lennon, James Milner, Scott Parker, Theo Walcott, Shaun Wright-Phillips.

Forwards: Darren Bent, Peter Crouch, Jermain Defoe, Emile Heskey, Wayne Rooney Steven Gerrard.

Pietersen: I'm nearly back to my best for Boxing Day

Kevin Pietersen returns to the ground where he made his first impact AGAINST England 10 years ago, insisting: "I am nearly back to my best."

Pietersen, who scored 61 not out for the KwaZulu Natal Dolphins as a 19-year-old against Nasser Hussain's England at Kingsmead in 1999, heads into the second Test against South Africa on Boxing Day on the back of a match-saving 81 in the second innings of the drawn Test in Centurion on Sunday.

After a troubled operation on his Achilles tendon in the middle of the Ashes series in July, the 29-year-old, born 56 miles inland from Durban at Pietermaritzburg, said: "Learning to trust my leg was a big thing for me but I am almost there and hopefully the consistent batting will come back at some stage and I think I am almost there. Technically-wise, I think I am almost back to my best."

Pietersen shrugged off the suicidal run-out that ended his resistance and led to gloating from South Africa captain Graeme Smith saying: "That run-out was my fault and I held my hands up and apologised for it. It was just a bit of a brain freeze. Well, not really a brain freeze, it was a case of trying to rotate the strike.

"It is the way that I play. I make mistakes but I was actually really restrained all day and played an innings that is not typically me. Even the dismissal was restrained. It was played right under the eyes and I just misjudged a run."

Pietersen, who put on 145 runs for the fourth wicket with Cape Town-born Jonathan Trott, added: "The important thing was that three and four batted in a partnership.Paul Collingwood, at five, and myself have formed a good partnership of the last few years in terms of how we have gone about things.

"Our top-order has always been 20 for three or 10 for two and if we can get some consistency so that one, two, three, four, five and six can bat really well together and build partnerships then, for the England cricket team, it will be magnificent."

On Saturday, Pietersen will face severe barracking from Kingsmead's notorious Castle Corner. He said : "I believe we can score runs against their bowling attack but we need to take 20 wickets.

"Graeme Smith is a big wicket for us, so if we can keep getting him out cheaply, and manage to nip Jacques Kallis out, I think it puts a lot of pressure on the other players."

Neal Collins' novel "A Game Apart", the book you must read before the World Cup, is now available.

www.nealcollins.co.uk

Liverpool bitten by Lyon... now for the Europa League

DEPENDING which paper you read, Liverpool lost anything from £10m to £40m last night when they failed to qualify for the knock-out stages of the Champions League.

Quite how that odd American couple, Gillette and Hicks, will take this loss of earnings on their Anfield investment is not yet known. But under-fire boss Rafa Benitez, now talking about winning the Europa League, knows he's got a job on his hands.

Sure, the Reds won 1-0 at pointless Debrecen but with Lyon understandably losing 1-0 at Fiorentina, qualification from Group E is now beyond them. Would you want to win or draw if it meant going to Anfield and playing for your lives?

Poor old Liverpool. Fernando Torres and Steven Gerrard have been battling injury all season and they're a modest 7th in the Premier League, five points behind Spurs in fourth. We won't even mention the beach ball.

Dramatically, Sky Sports 2 showed Gerrard watching the final minutes of the game in Fiorentina on a screen in the tunnel at the Ferenc Puskas stadium in Budapest. Gutted. He didn't stop to talk when the whistle went. Later he said: "You get what you deserve in football. The disappointing thing was having to rely on other people. We have played well today but now we have to try and move on, build on tonight and, with a lot of players coming back from injury, try and win the Europa League.

"Of course its disappointing. The Champions League is the main trophy at the start of the season but the only consolation now is to try and win the Europa League."

And Benitez emerged briefly to say: "I am 100% confident we will finish in the top four in the Premier League this season."

And all this while Arsenal were merrily skipping through to the last 32 with a game to spare. Their 2-0 win over Belgium's Standard Liege came courtesy of welcome goals for the returning Denilson and Samir Nasri (pictured).

Quite an improvement after Saturday's demoralising 1-0 defeat at the hands of Sunderland and their former Spurs striker Darren Bent. No need to mention the two penalties turned down in front of the Emirates crowd... or the double rattling of the woodwork by the Belgians, who had a man sent off late on. Funny how we don't notice these things when English clubs are winning. Former Gunner Paul Merson did. He pointed out in the Sky studios: "What worries me is they were dominant throughout but they still could have lost this game. Liege had a stonewall penalty and a couple of clear chances. Any team that plays Arsenal knows they're always in with a chance, they can always nick a goal."

Another small point before the London showdown against Premier League leaders Chelsea on Sunday: William Gallas took a nasty blow to the eye and looked concussed after clashing heads with Andrei Arshavin, while Kieran Gibbs limped off with what looked like a recurrence of his ankle injury. But still, they're through for the 10th season in a row, joining Chelsea and Manchester United, whatever they do tomorrow night.

Rangers are out too, beaten 2-0 by Stuttgart... and they don't even get the consolation of a late place in the Europa League as they finish bottom of Group G.

The good news for UEFA came in Spain where Barcelona eased the threat of non-qualification with a 2-0 win over Jose Mourinho's Inter Milan in fascinating Group F. Rumours of Thierry "Hand of Gaul" Henry diving twice in the first half have yet to be confirmed.

Bad news for Portsmouth fans with manager Paul Hart departing (former Chelsea boss Avram Grant is waiting in the wings), good news for Wycombe, the Division One strugglers, who followed up their shock 2-0 win at Millwall with a 1-0 win over Brentford last night.

I'm not like Maradona says Henry, the mouth of God

THIERRY HENRY should not be judged in the same bracket as fellow Hand-of-God user Diego Maradona. And who says so? Erm... Thierry himself.

Today we are assailed by another avalanche of self-justification and bluster from the man who cheated to put France through to the World Cup finals in South Africa next year, courtesy of a blatant handball.

Maradona did the same for Argentina in the World Cup quarter-final against England in Mexico 23 years ago but never admitted he cheated, preferring to refer to his deft finish over Peter Shilton as "the Hand of God".

Henry apparently feels he has the Mouth of God as he attempts to wriggle out of the situation he has created for himself.

The 32-year-old Frenchman has been under pressure ever since his basketball-style move helped make the crucial goal for William Gallas in Paris last week, but as the 450,000 strong Facebook petition to have the game replayed fades in FIFA's memory, the Barcelona striker says: "I was in a situation where, whatever happened, I couldn't have won. At a certain point I thought I had done something very seriously wrong. After the game I went to a press conference to say I had touched the ball with my hand.

"That is not like Maradona or Messi (his Barcelona team-mate Lionel also scored with his hand once, perhaps the Nou Camp has an expert on hand to explain this), I could have easily avoided it and not said a word.

"But I did not run away from my responsibilities. On Friday, when everything went too far, I was really upset."

Hold on a bit Thierry, most of Ireland and the rest of the football-speaking world were upset too. With you. And it hasn't helped that the perfectly acceptable idea of a replay - agreed as "the fairest solution" by you and a million others - appears to have been firmly shelved by FIFA.

Despite yesterday's claim that he nearly quit playing for France over the incident, Henry adds: "I've always fought for Les Bleus. Like a dog. I won't let my country down."

No, Thierry, you've already done that. Last Wednesday. With your left arm.

And like Maradona, that single act will define your career.

Trott the all-rounder? A revelation from Botham

IAN BOTHAM, who knows a thing or two about all-rounders, picked out Jonathan Trott’s performance in the thumping seven-wicket win over South Africa yesterday as “a revelation”

While the immediate headlines surrounded the performance of Paul Collingwood, who took two wickets, a superb catch and scored an undefeated 105 in his record 171st one-day international for England, Botham went straight to Trott’s performance with bat and ball in his post-match analysis.

The Sky Sports commentator and former England captain said: “You have to look carefully at what Trott (pictured) did out there. He scored 87 and bowled seven overs for nothing (21, the most economical England bowler). England are having to learn to live without Andrew Flintoff and Trott will help them do that.

“It’s been a real revelation for England. South Africa are struggling without their all-rounder Jacques Kallis (broken rib) but we have Trott, Paul Collingwood, Luke Wright and Tim Bresnan who can do both now.”

Botham appears genuinely optimistic about England’s chances after they eased past South Africa’s 250-9 with seven wickets and four overs to spare.

With South African captain Graeme Smith admitting: “There is a realisation we’re in for a long, hard summer of cricket,” Beefy argues: “We all want to see a vibrant and punchy England side going at it hammer and tongs with the opposition.

“The best one-day teams in the world are front runners - the Australians and the Indians. I think Andrew Strauss finally recognises that. He was conservative in the West Indies, but he has been captain for a year now and I expect to see him blossom in charge.”

Collingwood, who overtook Alec Stewart as his country's most capped player in the ODIs, said: "It was a big day for me on a personal note.We were quite comfortable in the end. It was a special performance by all the boys really."

But the Durham dynamo also picked out Trott after their 162-run third-wicket partnership. Trott opened for the first time, replacing Kent’s Joe Denly, and fell just 13 runs short of a maiden one-day ton.

Collingwood purred: "It was a top knock by Trotty. He really played the anchor role. "Credit to him, all the international innings he's played so far have been special ones and hopefully that continues. He’s taken his county game to the international level."

England captain Strauss, who dropped three catches and scored just 16 off a sluggish 26 balls, did the vital thing - winning the toss - and said: "Jonathan and Paul both played exceptionally well. We always felt we could chase down 250 but we needed to get stuck in and build a partnership.

The great disappointment yesterday? Adil Rashid, once more England's least economical bowler. The young Yorkshire spinner, hit for four sixes in the only over allowed him in last week’s crushing Twenty20 defeat on the same ground, bowled just three overs for 27, leaving the door open for Kent’s James Tredwell to make his debut in the third one-day international at Newlands in Cape Town on Friday.

Tredwell, England’s Under 19 captain back in 2002, took 95 wickets in all forms of the game last season and he can bat a bit as well, with two first class tons and a 16 fifties for Kent.

The only other thing England need to worry about on Friday? The captain’s hands. After dropping those three catches, Strauss said: "That was the one negative. My hands went missing somewhere. I'll have to do some practice before Newlands on Friday."

Replay? Justice? It's not going to happen

SO the Irish, like most other right-minded football fans, want a replay. They feel Thierry Henry's blatant handball - understandable but unforgivable - robbed them of their place at the World Cup finals in South Africa next year.
As of now, the Republic of Ireland are out, beaten 2-1 in extra-time thanks to Henry's basketball-style move just wide of the right upright which resulted in a cross to make William Gallas's decisive header.
Henry can be clearly seen explaining afterwards that he had cheated as he sat with distraught Irishman Richard Dunne. He hasn't gone quite that far since, simply admitting: "I did handle the ball, but I am not the referee."
And as the clamour for justice mounts, the Republic's charming Italian manager Giovanni Trapattoni insists: "This situation has to give a chance to who is responsible to rethink. It can be repeated in the future and we have to stop it."
But he accepts: "When a referee decides a game has finished I know it is impossible to replay the game."
Even the Swedish press have blasted their trio of officials for failing to spot the greatest handball since Diego Maradona circa 1986. Aftonbladet said: "There are approximately 80 million Irishmen around the world. We guarantee they all feel pretty bad today.
"But I sincerely hope there are three Swedes that feel even worse.
"They are Martin Hansson and (referee's assistants) Stefan Wittberg and Fredrik Nilsson. There will be no World Cup for Ireland and I assume that Team Hansson has also forfeited its right to continue to take charge of major international matches.
"Anything else would be a further insult to the Irish nation."
A replay might ease the pressure on the three Swedes too, but Fifa have already released a statement saying: "The hand ball was recognised by the Fifa commissioner, the referee observer and the match officials, as well as by the player himself.
"There is precedent for the invalidation of such results. In 2005, the bureau of the Fifa World Cup organising committee reached a decision to invalidate the result of a World Cup qualification match between Uzbekistan and Bahrain on the basis of a 'technical error by the referee of the match'.
"But Law 5 of the Laws of the Game states that: The decisions of the referee regarding facts connected with play, including whether or not a goal is scored and the result of the match, are final.
"The referee may only change a decision on realising that it is incorrect or, at his discretion, on the advice of an assistant referee or the fourth official, provided that he has not restarted play or terminated the match."
So that's it. No replay unless you're Uzbeki or Bahraini.
The FAI hit back with a terse: "We hope Fifa and its disciplinary committee will, on behalf of football fans world-wide, act in a similar fashion so that the standards of fair play and integrity can be protected."
Trapattoni questioned their competence of the Swedish trio and still wants to know why Fifa seeded the play-off draw at late notice, making things, theoretically, easier for the French (at this point most people would mention UEFA president Michel Platini hails from just across the channel, but that would be very provocative), though they made heavy weather of it.
Trapattoni's final verdict: "All sports lose credibility with this situation - it affects the integrity of the game. For me it's bitter. There are many questions.
"There are many doubts that have to be eliminated. Out of the non-seeded teams we were the only ones to play the second game away - why?"
La Figaro quotes Henry saying this: "I know what it is you want me to say and I am not going to lie - there was hand.
"The ball hit my hand and I continued to play. The referee didn't blow his whistle and there was a goal. Obviously I would have preferred that things panned out differently but I am not the official. I do not think we have stolen qualification."
Sorry Thierry, you're wrong. In the digital age, which so much at stake, either you get banned for cheating... or the match gets replayed.
But we all know neither will happen. France are through, it's what the big guys wanted.

KP won't look Bok in anger

KEVIN PIETERSEN’S first task on arriving in South Africa? Offering a little advice to the other bloke in the England squad with that dodgy aksent, Jonathan Trott.
KP, off the crutches he used for weeks after the mid-Ashes operation on his right ankle, flew in late to join the tour in Johannesburg and said: “I’ve just caught up with Trottie and asked how everything’s been so far — he said it had been great.
“I had a long chat with Jonathan in the dressing room after the Ashes, talking about the little things I didn’t do when I first came into the England side that perhaps he could do — to try to stop him making the mistakes I made.”
Pietersen, 29, doesn’t like to be reminded of his attitude when he first appeared for England against his former homeland in a stormy series in 2005.
The unrepentant manner and the multi-coloured “skunk” hairstyle didn’t go down to well with the old guard at the ECB — and South African fans were only too happy to jump on the bandwagon, heckling the Pietermaritzburg-born batsman with some relish.
Both the hair and the mood are much quieter now as Pietersen recalls: “Don’t remind me. I was 24, still growing up and I was having a great time, fresh and buzzing. I hadn’t had many knocks along the way. In the last few years I’ve grown up, got married and am a lot more mature. This year has been like never before but it’s all part of development and learning.
“It’s been a fantastic ride and I want to jump back on now. I have identified the next four or five years to get back on that treadmill again.
“It’s been a horrible year but I can turn that around by playing some great cricket against South Africa. I love playing here. The wickets are good and it’s a fantastic country. It’s a recipe to make runs.”
And old foe Trott? “I’ve heard he’s been fantastic in the dressing room and there will be no problems between us.
“Yes, we were opponents growing up in South Africa but that’s because he played for Western Province and I played for Natal — they were big rivals.”
That rivalry will pale into insignificance at the Wanderers’ bull-ring on Friday night, venue of the first Twenty-20 international — and the opening clash of a battle between England and South Africa which will run until the end of the fourth Test, back in Johannesburg, in mid-January next year.
Pietersen won’t play on Friday “unless the injuries pile up” but he adds: “It was pretty hostile five years ago, but I’ve been back for the Twenty20 World Cup and the IPL and had fantastic receptions. Hopefully they respect the cricket I’ve played in the last five years.
“What happened to me at the Wanderers in 2005 will come up over the next couple of days and if Trotty wants to talk about it I’ll help in any way I can.
“But I won’t force myself on him. I’ve thought about how the crowds will be this time over here.
“All our efforts have to go on beating South Africa, not worrying what anyone else says. It doesn’t bother me how the South African crowds react.”
What might bother him is mischievous spinner Graeme Swann’s suggestion earlier in the week that Pietersen may struggle to break into a side which blasted through their opening games in some style.
But after the crashing defeat against South Africa A in Bloemfontein on Tuesday night, Pietersen grins: “I think the team looks like they’re really on fire out here.
“I’m very encouraged.”
NEAL COLLINS will be joining the England tour next month. Read his daily blog from South Africa and express your views on the tour simply by logging on to www.nealcollins.co.uk.

Haskell starts at Twickenham... as predicted

Yesterday I twittered James Haskell to tell him Lawrence Dallaglio is backing him to start for England against Argentina on Saturday at Twickenham. He turned things around when he came on for Leicester's Jordan Crane against Australia last week, full of energy and endeavour. Today, even better news... confirmation of his place in the first 15 despite leaving Wasps for Stade Francais in the summer.
Here's the story I wrote for the paper this morning:
YESTERDAY James Haskell was so miffed by the weather in not-so-sunny Surrey, he called for a radical move to summer rugby.
Today, he’ll be officially told he’s back in the England starting line-up for Saturday’s clash with Argentina at Twickenham, where the Windsor-born 6ft 4in loose forward will revel in the mud of a British autumn.
Through the mists of a winter’s morning at England’s Bagshot base yesterday, jameshaskell grumbled on www.twitter-com: “Raining and miserable at Pennyhill Park, but mood is good. Forwards and team session this morning.
“I vote we make rugby a summer sport, we would only have to compete with cricket. Bigger crowds, better games and more hospitality.”
Within hours twitters were flying and Haskell accepted: “Okay, taking some heat for my summer chat. Didn’t think about the hard grounds. But we live in England and the hardest it gets is medium soft.”
And, as news of his selection for Saturday began to permeate the England camp, that was soon followed by: “Keep it winter. Too many good arguments. Hard pitches are the main reason.”
And just to make things perfect for the No8 who moved from Wasps to Stade Francais last summer, his old Wellington College pal Paul Doran-Jones is in the squad too.
Best not to mention the pair of them were suspended over a video camera incident at one of Britain’s poshest public schools in 2003.
England boss Martin Johnson had little choice in calling up Gloucester’s Doran-Jones. With David Wilson and David Barnes forced out by injury, there are no other front-row options.
Bath veteran Duncan Bell and Tim Payne of Wasps will start at tight-head and loose-head with the versatile Doran-Jones as cover on both sides.
Northampton’s Dylan Hartley will start between them at hooker, with World Cup-winner Steve Thompson reverting to the bench.
Graham Rowntree, England’s scrum coach, said: “I like what I see in Paul. I’ve been watching him all season, I think he’s a true prospect for the future. He’s good at a lot of things and I give him my full backing.
“He’s good enough and that’s what we’ll tell him. Paul has a great attitude, he’s fitted in well since he’s been with us.”
Jordan Crane, replaced at No 8 by Haskell during the defeat against Australia last Saturday, has been told he can go back to train with Leicester this weekend.
And the full team? Probable: Monye (Harlequins); Cueto (Sale), Hipkiss (Leicester), Geraghty (Northampton), Banahan (Bath); Wilkinson (Toulon), Hodgson (London Irish); Payne (Wasps), Hartley (Northampton), Bell (Bath); Borthwick (Saracens, capt), Deacon; Croft (both Leicester), Haskell (Stade Francais), Moody (Leicester).
Replacements: Doran-Jones (Gloucester), Thompson (Brive), Lawes (Northampton), Worsley (Wasps), Care (Harlequins), Goode (Brive), Erinle (Biarritz).
England v Argentina,Saturday, live on Sky Sports 2, from 2pm
ELITE squad players sent back to clubs: D Strettle (Harlequins), B Foden (Northampton), M Tait (Sale Sharks), R Wigglesworth (Sale Sharks), S Armitage (London Irish), D Barnes (Bath), G Chuter (Leicester), J Crane (Leicester), B Kay (Leicester), D Wilson (Bath).