Closing overs, Day Five: Why the Trott/KP partnership hurt so much for South Africa

STRANGE isn’t it? Two men playing against the country of their birth are so determined to resist in front of their former compatriots. And the two Englishmen we saw early today, James Anderson and Alastair Cook, produced a couple of airy-fairy shots to go and sit comfortably in the shade of the dressing-room while the heat is on.

At tea Jonathan Trott (53 off 148 balls) and Kevin Pietersen (80 off 136) had pushed England from 27-3 to 169-3, an unbroken partnership of 142. Safety looms, though Pietersen ran himself out for 81 an over after the second interval and Trott was brilliantly caught by, one-handed by AB De Villiers at first slip off Friedel De Wet for 61 - and went of nursing a bruised thumb from a superb, rising delivery, the 212th Trott received.

That leaves two lilly-white Englishmen, Paul Collingwood and Ian Bell, who left a straight one in the first innings, to see out the last 13 overs of the fifth day to ensure a drawn first Test with the score 209-5.

But what British stiff-upper-lip Trott and Pietersen displayed! What true English blitz spirit! And of course, they're both South African reared.

Nightwatchman Anderson, judging by his twitter this morning, was more intent on getting back to find a television by lunch-time. He said: “Huge day today. Wolves v Burnley 1.30pm.”

After Andrew Strauss’s departure last night, Anderson and Cook were out in the first hour with just 27 on the board, 336 still needed. All looked lost, a growing Sunday crowd were having their time in the sun. Then Cape Town-born Trott got his head down and was joined by Pietermaritzburg-born Kevin Pietersen and the resistance grew. And grew.

As I wandered around this magnificent ground, all grass banks, paddling pools and beer, the South Africans were getting remarkably uptight. About 10,000 of them have disturbed their traditional pre-Christmas Sunday braai (or barbecue) to witness England, the old enemy around these parts, crushed.

Instead they were forced to witness two of their own, batting proudly for queen and country, soaking up the pressure and pushing England towards a draw. In their charming double-storey executive boxes, which look like Victorian houses, and on their picnic blankets, I recognise the words from the bearded men as they see yet another appeal turned down. Bitter words. Angry phrases from a near-forgotten childhood.

It’s not hard to understand their discomfort. The Afrikaans curses shouted loudly across the ground are understandable. In short: Centurion, once known as Verwoerdburg, lies next to Pretoria, the heart of Afrikanerdom. They were never too keen on the “rooineks” (red necks) here. Not since we built a concentration camp in nearby Irene, about a mile away, during the Boer War 110 years ago and left the local populace in small-pox infected misery. Okay, it's ancient history to most, but the vast graveyard and memorial, next to Irene Primary School, is barely a six-hit away. It holds the graves of the 1,149 mostly women and children who died there.

So this is no fun for the folks gathered here, large people, large appetites, large opinions. And not all of them modern, democratic thinkers. Things have changed, the nation is rainbow-coloured, but the last thing they need is for two turncoats from the coastal regions to push this game beyond South Africa’s reach. I’m amazed they’ve been so gentle on this pair, considering.

The South Africans on the field are little happier. Even Jacques Kallis, supposedly not allowed to bowl because of the rib he fractured in October, demanded a go at this pair. And he got nowhere. At tea he had figures of 3-1-5-0. And the misery goes on for the locals.

Early on, things were unpleasant for England and their tiny Barmy Army after the first overnight rain of this sun-soaked Test. The ball was flying around, it was pleasantly cool for the fielding side. But Anderson, who gloved Friedel de Wet to Mark Boucher 13 balls into day five, produced an avoidable dismissal.

The gormless Cook followed soon afterwards, caught by South African captain Graeme Smith at gully off Paul Harris. What is the point of Cook? He's earmarked to captain the side in Bangladesh on their next tour but hasn't got to 50 since Lord's against the Australians. He looks good, sounds good... but he's no Test opener at the moment. He looked terrified coming out to bat last night.

The irrepressible Graeme Swann, whose five wickets and Test-best 85 carried his side through the first three days of this Test, twittered a more positive: “Three things I want to see today. Jimmy get a fifty, Cookie a hundred and the Toon smash the Smoggies.”

Only the last of those is now a realistic option. For our foreign readers the words “Toon smash the Smoggies” constitute a Geordie phrase roughly equivalent to “the once-great Newcastle beat never-great Middlesbrough in the second tier of English football which nobody cares about”.

Of far more importance to lovers of real football was Arsenal’s 3-0 win over those niggling, nasty men from the fires of Hull. It closes the gap on Manchester United – smashed by Fulham, 3-0 (yes, that's 3-0) – and extends the lead over Liverpool – beaten 2-0 by bottom club Portsmouth (yes, that's 2-0).

Which just leaves Chelsea to lose to West Ham today, just after this absorbing Test draws to a close this afternoon. And yes, it’s all true. Mark Hughes is gone despite yesterday’s goal-happy 4-3 win over Sunderland which left Manchester City handily placed in sixth. His replacement? Roberto Mancini. So that means City are are in trouble.

And is my precious book, A GAME APART. It was published two days ago. Sales have reached a feverish 14 in two days despite emails to all my mates, constant blogging and attempts to bring people into my web-site with pathetic twittering. My wife threatens to cut people's hair badly in her salon if they won't buy.

But it isn't working. Please help. Behind me, the Johannesburg Star's Kevin McCallum sold 40,000 copies of his sports trivia book. I need 39,986 of you to help. It's the book you must read before the World Cup. If you want. It's not expensive. My wife liked it. Just go to http://www.authorhouse.com/bookstore/ItemDetail.aspx?bookid=68412

When sunny Centurion pales into insignificance. Come on Arsenal!

SOMETIMES the ebb and flow of Test cricket can get to you. Just as England wilted today on day four of the first Test at sun-soaked Centurion, so this journalist finally lost heart.

I went back to my dad's to recuperate when Hashim Amla passed the 200-ball mark. The bearded one, unlikely to be sponsored by Gillette any time soon, was simply too good for England's attack and took the game beyond us with a magnificent century.

Aided by AB De Villiers and Mark Boucher, a torrid day ended with Morne Morkel slapping Stuart Broad for 14 runs off an over. Then the declaration and a grinning Graeme Smith saw Morkel produce an unplayable ball which Andrew Strauss had to touch to Boucher and England, at 11-1, remain 353 runs from victory going into the final day.

The good news? It's absolutely hissing down out there. After four sizzling days, the tropical rains have returned. England may yet escape with a soggy draw.

Meanwhile, this being South Africa, I was treated to three successive games of live football. First Liverpool went down 2-0 at Portsmouth - my dad's team - then Manchester United, playing without a defence (they're all injured, an argumentative Sir Alex Ferguson ended up with Michael Carrick and Darren Fletcher at centre-back) were thrashed 3-0 and now Arsenal are attempting to reverse the string of giants killings against Hull.

And word reaches me via my son's text that Manchester City's Mark Hughes, fresh from a rousing 4-3 win over Sunderland, is about to be replaced by Italian Roberto Mancini. Criminal. Hughes is one of Britain's great managers. But give the foreign billionaires ownership of our clubs and this is what happens. We'll end up like South Africa, with a string of international bosses who can barely speak the language!

Sometimes the cut-and-thrust of Premier League football and the freezing pre-Christmas jousting outweights the lure of sun-drenched cricket. Especially when England are losing their grip on a Test. This is one of those days.

Swann will tear you apart... again

GRAEME SWANN'S press conference last night (above) at the end of day three was, as you might expect, a little out of the ordinary.

The Nottinghamshire spin bowler, 31, spent eight years languishing in exile after his debut in 2000. Because, apparently, the powers-that-be (also known as old farts) felt he was a little too cocky, loud, abrasive.

What a waste of the man who is rapidly emerging as England's finest current cricketer. Over the last three days of the first Test against South Africa at Centurion, he has been our player of the day every day. He spent two days bowling in the searing heat to take 5-110 then, after watching the rest of the so-called batsman, he emerged to thrash an astonishing Test-best 85 to put England back in the game.

And then came the chat afterwards. On Twitter last night, these little gems: "I'm going to have another room date with Cookie tonight. If it ain't broke..." (a reference to a jokey twitter over his feelings for one Alastair Cook earlier in the week). That came after: "In the words of George, in Blackadder goes forth as gorgeous georgina...i feel fantastic!"

And of course, he had every right to. Five wickets and 85 runs puts him at a level few of the world's all-rounders can hope to maintain. But he has always fancied himself as both a batter and a bowler. English cricket just tends to stifle those who believe they can do both.

There's a suggestion Swann might just be the

best No9 bat in the world. And on hearing Australia captain Ricky Ponting had batted in that position yesterday against the West Indies and made just 2, Swann gloated last night: "How many did he get? Draw your own conclusions."

And told it was the highest score from an England No9 for 38 years, he snapped: "I was kind of hoping it might be the highest ever. If I'd known, I'd have carried on pushing it round."

There was plenty more. How he was going back to lecture the early-order batters on their technique, how finger-spinning is the toughest job in the world, absolute entertainment. Pity the poor soul who talks after him, in this case the South African spinner Paul Harris, who didn't make a bad fist of it.But Swanny wasn't finished. This morning, by Twitter: "I am wearing my lucky pants again today, despite them being a trifle crusty. Let's hope for wickets this morning."It worked, just two overs in, nightwatchman Harris was caught with his knickers in a twist. Well, not literally.

Jimmy Anderson’s delivery was shaping just wide of his leg stump when the ball caught in his trousers and was dragged back onto the wicket. Bowled for 11, South Africa 20-2.

What was it Swannie said last night: “We’ll get the non-batsman out in the morning and go from there!” And that was with his arch-rival Harris standing at the back of the room, waiting to talk to the media!

South Africa lost their second of the morning, third of the innings when Graeme Onions produced a corker which might have bent a bit and captain Graeme Smith was gone for 12, a rare double failure for the man who ducked out so early in the first innings. South Africa 34-3. Anyone's game.

Game on! Swann and Anderson keep England in the Test

FORGET all the bickering about Stuart Broad falling victim to the controversial Umpire Decision Referral System. And ignore the fact that Ian Bell produced perhaps the worst leave in the history of Test cricket to be bowled by a straight one.

Let’s concentrate instead on the record-breaking ninth wicket partnership between Graeme Swann and Jimmy Anderson (right) which left these cocky, sun-burnt South Africans tearing their bleached hair out. At the close on day three of the first Test, the unhappy hosts were 9-1 after facing four overs – a lead of just 71 with the heroic Anderson bowling Ashwell Prince for a duck off an inside edge in the first over of their second innings. Magnificent. And the Barmy Army in full voice: “Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy Anderson...”

When Swann, England’s best player every day so far, and Anderson got together, Broady had just been given the electronic finger by television umpire Amiesh Saheba. ‘Real’ umpire Aleem Dar gave the Nottinghamshire paceman not out when he was rapped on the pads by the innocuous slow bowling of JP Duminy with England teetering on 242-7, 176 runs behind.

The South Africans had a chat and 34 seconds later, they decided to appeal – and Broad was gone, a victim of Hawkeye, 242-8. Furious, he appealed to the umpires but high in the stands, it was television official Amiesh Saheba who needed a talking to.

And Broad did exactly that – he had what is best described as an “animated chat” with Saheba and match referee Roshan Mahanama in the television decision room. Stuart’s dad Chris, of course, is a well-known match referee and former Test opener. Broad apparently feels the South Africans had been given a signal from the dressing-room after coach Mickey Arthur had seen the replay, which may not be in the spirit of the rules.

By then, England’s hopes of getting within a hundred of South Africa’s 418 looked all but over. But Swann – who has been known to open the batting for Notts in Twenty20 thrashes - and regular nightwatchman Anderson obviously hadn’t been told that. From 242-8 they took England to the undreamt of heights of 348-9. Incredible.

Their partnership, which endured and flourished despite the taking of the new ball, represents the best ever penultimate pairing on this ground and for Swann, it was a Test best.

Anderson was finally out, miscueing one to Morne Morkel at mid-on off Ntini, for 29, just three short of his Test best, having survived 78 balls and hit a memorable six. The partnership, also England’s best for the ninth wicket against South Africa, was worth 106 in 23 overs at an astonishing rate of 4.54 an over, rapid for this Test.

And then, with Swannie on 81 not out at the other end, last man Graham Onions thrashed Ntini for four off his fourth ball. Great stuff! It couldn’t last though. Swann – on a career best 85 off 81 balls - was chasing it and finally put Harris into Graeme Smith’s grateful hands at deep mid-wicket.

Suddenly, the Test wasn’t quite over, the lead was down to 62.

There were snorts of derision when Bell left a straight one from Paul Harris, assuming he might actually turn the ball. It just went straight on and bowled him. Harris ended with five wickets when he got Swannie at last. And he’s more Ashley Giles than Muttiah Muralitharan, this fellow.

The once-docile first Test pitch, which allowed the home side to plod along to 418, initially gave way to a day-three demon which claimed captain Andrew Strauss just seven overs into the morning session, having added just two runs to his impressive overnight 44.

It was drinks all round as Makhaya Ntini, on his 100^th appearance, got one to zip through low beneath Strauss’s desperate defence to rattle the furniture. Sponsors Castle lager are offering a free beer to everyone in the ground when Ntini takes a wicket. The Barmy Army were first in the queue, despite their chronic disappointment.

Suddenly the ease with which Strauss and Trott added 63 in 17 overs last night was forgotten. Ntini ran to sun-soaked fans, arms raised. His 389^th wicket puts him one closer to Shaun Pollock’s South African record of 421 Test victims. Not a bad morning for South Africa’s first black cricketer, who had earlier received a congratulatory letter from Nelson Mandela, the former President who brought peace to this nation and added colour to their sports teams in 1993. But he had to wait all day for number 390 when he finally got Anderson.

Following Johannesburg-born Strauss’s departure, Pietermaritzburg-born Pietersen came out to join Cape Town-born Trott. The only non-South African on the field? Harris, born in Salisbury, Rhodesia, now known as Harare, Zimbabwe.

Pietersen got a remarkably gentle welcome from the Centurion fans. The lack of boos was probably down to the free-flowing booze being handed out to the gathering of about 5,000.

Trott and Pietersen did their best to handle the conditions, surviving the odd shooter but looking distinctly uncomfortable until the arrival of the very ordinary spinner Harris.

Then Trott made the mistake of thinking Harris could turn the ball. He charged down the pitch, took a huge heave allowing for spin... and the ball simply kept dead straight and caught the top of his leg stump.

Just as Pietersen was getting into his stride. Morkel got one to nip, got an inside edge... and Pietersen was bowled for 40.

Worse was to follow. Ian Bell, who should have made way for all-rounder Luke Wright or seamer Ryan Sidebottom here, chose to shoulder arms to a straight one. Once more he must have assumed Harris actually turns the ball. It didn’t deviate, it just went straight on into the stumps. Fool!

Harris must have thought Christmas had come early when, after facing 34 balls and scoring four runs, Matt Prior finally decided to have a go and popped one into the hands of Friedel de Wet.

And Harris’s tally went to four when, an over later, he actually turned one and Jacques Kallis took the catch at first slip to dismiss Paul Collingwood for a fine 50 off 87 balls as England slumped to 221-7.

The review system put paid to Stuart Broad’s resistance. He went for 17 and Duminy, another average bowler, had his first wicket. But it didn’t end there. Swann and Anderson came together and made the so-called batsmen look silly with a range of shots which made the pitch look oh-so-easy.

And there was still time to take that vital South African wicket at the end. Game on.

Broad fury as he falls to the electronic finger

STUART BROAD’S brave resistance was ended by Hawkeye at Centurion today as the controversial Umpire Decision Referral System left England reeling once more.

Umpire Aleem Dar gave the Nottinghamshire paceman not out when he was rapped on the pads by the innocuous slow bowling of JP Duminy with England teetering on 242-7.

The South Africans had a chat and 34 seconds later, they decided to appeal – and despite the ball appearing to pitch outside the line of off-stump, Broad was given the electronic finger. Furious, he appealed to the umpires but high in the stands, it was television official Amiesh Saheba who needed a talking to.

And Broad did exactly that – we’ve just seen him walking out of the television replay room here. His dad Chris, of course, is a well-known match referee and former Test opener. Broad jnr apparently feels the South Africans had been given a signal from the dressing-room, which is against the rules.

By then, England’s hopes of reaching parity with South Africa were all but over. At 281-8 with Graeme Swann (a startlingly confident 29) and Jimmy Anderson (a nearly as good 18) battling on, they are still 141runs behind thanks to a very average spinner and aided by the suicidal efforts of Ian Bell and Matt Prior.

There were snorts of derision when Bell left a straight one from Paul Harris, assuming he might actually turn the ball. It just went straight on and bowled him. Harris has 4-90. And he’s more Phil Tufnell than Muttiah Muralitharan, this fellow.

The once-docile first Test pitch, which allowed the home side to plod along to 418, has given way to a day-three demon which claimed captain Andrew Strauss just seven overs into the morning session, having added just two runs to his impressive overnight 44.

It was drinks all round as Makhaya Ntini, on his 100^th appearance, got one to zip through low beneath Strauss’s desperate defence to rattle the furniture. Sponsors Castle lager are offering a free beer to everyone in the ground when Ntini takes a wicket. The Barmy Army were first in the queue, despite their chronic disappointment.

Suddenly the ease with which Strauss and Trott added 63 in 17 overs last night was forgotten. Ntini ran to sun-soaked fans, arms raised. His 389^th wicket puts him one closer to Shaun Pollock’s South African record of 421 Test victims. Not a bad morning for South Africa’s first black cricketer, who had earlier received a congratulatory letter from Nelson Mandela, the former President who brought peace to this nation and added colour to their sports teams in 1993.

Following Johannesburg-born Strauss’s departure, Pietermaritzburg-born Pietersen came out to join Cape Town-born Trott. The only non-South African on the field? Harris, born in Salisbury, Rhodesia, now known as Harare, Zimbabwe.

Pietersen got a remarkably gentle welcome from the Centurion fans. The lack of boos was probably down to the free-flowing booze being handed out to the gathering of about 5,000.

Trott and Pietersen did their best to handle the conditions, surviving the odd shooter but looking distinctly uncomfortable until the arrival of the very ordinary spinner Harris.

Then Trott made the mistake of thinking Harris could turn the ball. He charged down the pitch, took a huge heave allowing for spin... and the ball simply kept dead straight and caught the top of his leg stump.

Just as Pietersen was getting into his stride. Morkel got one to nip, got an inside edge... and Pietersen was bowled for 40.

Worse was to follow. Ian Bell, who should have made way for all-rounder Luke Wright or seamer Ryan Sidebottom here, chose to shoulder arms to. Once more he must have assumed Harris actually turns the ball. It didn’t deviate, it just went straight on into the stumps. Incredible.

Harris must have thought Christmas had come early when, after facing 34 balls and scoring four runs, Matt Prior finally decided to have a go and popped one into the hands of Friedel de Wet.

And Harris’s tally went to four when, an over later, he actually turned one and Jacques Kallis took the catch at first slip to dismiss Paul Collingwood (above) for a fine 50 off 87 balls as England slumped to 221-7.

The review system put paid to Stuart Broad’s resistance. Despite the ball pitching outside off-stump, he went for 17 and JP Duminy, another average spinner, had his first wicket. It’s painful to watch. But Swann and Anderson were soon showing the so-called batsmen how to go about it, plundering late runs and closing the gap as day three drifted to a sweaty close.

Kallis lashes his bowlers, Onions enjoys his toughest day

SOUTH AFRICA’S batting hero Jacques Kallis tore into his own bowlers after England cruised to 88-1 off 23 largely innocuous overs at sizzling Centurion to put the first Test back in the balance.

All-rounder Kallis, whose 120 helped South Africa reach 418 after the early departure of their captain Graeme Smith for a duck on day one, confirmed he will definitely not be bowling on day three today after fracturing a rib in October.

But that didn’t stop him getting stuck into his own attack. He said: “I won’t bowl for another week. I’ll spend some time in the oxygen chamber in Cape Town. It’s a bit of a precaution, a bit of common sense.

“I’ve done a bit of bowling, but nothing with any high intensity. The injury was fine when I was batting, but I won’t be taking any risks. I’m disappointed I didn’t go on to score more but I’m happy with 120 on that pitch, I never felt like I was really in on it.”

But then Kallis turned on his team saying: “We were really disappointing when they got in tonight. We did well to get over 400 but then we bowled them too many freebies.

“Andrew Strauss (44 off 70 balls) is a good batsman, we had a plan for him but our bowlers failed to execute it and now he’s in. We’ll have to do a lot better tomorrow. No doubt about it. We’ve got to bowl a better line.

“That pitch will get quicker which might help us, but we have to bowl better. We didn’t score as quickly as them, but that’s because our bowling was so poor.”

Former South African paceman Allan Donald, who described the pitch as “a bit of a road”, backed Kallis by saying: “It’s going to be a real test of character for both sides tomorrow. Our bowlers have to find the right length. Makhaya Ntini did it once and the ball was still going upwards when it hit the wicketkeeper.”

Graham Onions, still limping after bowling 30 overs with a calf strain, was one of England’s heroes with his 3-86 yesterday, alongside Graeme Swann, who took a magnificent 5-110 off a marathon 45.2 overs in the heat.

Onions, favouring his right calf, said: “I have to thank our medical team. They really worked hard on me. It’s not ideal with a four-man attack when one of them goes off for 40 minutes, but they did the business. And they iced it overnight.

“This morning it wasn’t too bad. But the last two days are among the toughest I’ve ever had in the field. It’s not quite like it is up north here. It wasn’t that hot early in the tour, but you can always bet on blazing sunshine for the Test series!

“I’ve played in South Africa a few times over the years but this was my first overseas Test and I thought, as a unit, our bowlers stuck to it. Our fielders backed us up, there were some good catches. It was disappointing they got over 400.

“There was a bit on a nip in the pitch on day one and if we’d had a little more luck we might have got them for 350. But I don’t think we bowled badly.

“Now we have to bat all day tomorrow. I still believe we can get in a winning position in this test. We batted well tonight and if we can get a good score and put pressure on them this Test could still be up for grabs.”

“But there’s no question who should get the plaudits today. Graeme Swann deserved his five wickets. He got a bit of turn, and he never gave up.”

Rarely in the history of spin bowling have so many overs been bowled in such heat for so few. Take a bow Swanny

GRAEME SWANN take a bow. Rarely in the history of spin bowling have so many overs been bowled in such heat for so few. And he ended with his third five-wicket haul in Test cricket. Ignore the fact England lost Alastair Cook early in their reply, Swann is the man.

Not only did his 45 miserly overs in extreme temperatures keep England in touch with South Africa, who were all out for 418 when many were predicting a score of 500-plus. His 5-110 also ended the Bore War, which broke out around tea-time when the South African tail-enders decided to strangle the first Test.

In Perth this morning, Chris Gayle hit the fifth fastest hundred in Test history with a 70-ball whirlwind against Australia. In direct contrast, Paul Harris (38 off 89 balls) and debutant Friedel de Wet (20 off 67) barely produced an attacking shot in a ninth wicket partnership worth 37 off nearly 17 overs in a bizarre attempt to put a crowd of 9,000 to sleep all at once. In the 10 overs before tea, they scored 11. Ho-hum.

Oh for a Gayle force to blow here. But when England came in to bat, such feats looked a very distant prospect. Makhaya Ntini, winning his 100^th cap, came roaring in and had Cook dropped in the first over, right through the hands of AB De Villiers at third slip.

De Wet was less boring with the ball than the bat. His first delivery in Test cricket was a massive leg side wide in the Steve Harmison style. His second beat Andrew Strauss all ends up.

But after that dodgy start, England’s opening pair began to settle until the sixth over when, with England on 25, Cook got the slightest of edges to De Wet and wicketkeeper Mark Boucher, out for a painful 49 in earlier the day, snaffled the catch. No pesky review called for, though it was the faintest of touches... I certainly couldn’t see it.

Cook had been looking good until that point, cracking three fours and scoring 15 off 17 balls while Strauss stayed in his shell.

Cape Town-born Jonathan Trott got a couple of grumbles from the South African fans when he came out to join Strauss, but nothing like the reception Kevin Pietersen will be treated to here.

He was in trouble on 12 when spinner Harris claimed either a catch behind or an LBW which was turned down by long-suffering Australian umpire Steve Davis. The review was called for and appeared to suggest Trott was LBW but this time the decision was left in the hands of Davis, who shrugged his shoulders and gave it not out again.

That allowed Strauss (44 off 70 balls) and Trott (a drab 18 off 56) to put on an unbeaten 63 for the second wicket, pushing England to 88-1 off the 23 overs they received tonight.

Just the 330 behind. But don’t let that take the gloss of a brave performance in the field.

Jimmy Anderson may have turned the course of this game when he had the heroic Jacques Kallis, who looked like he could bat forever despite a rib injury, caught at second slip by Paul Collingwood for 120 early in the day.

But Swann’s effort was quite incredible and Onions, bowling with a calf strain, deserves a mention too for taking 3-86 and intimidating Morkel (above) and Harris. Onions said of the Morkel incident afterwards: "You do aim for the head, but you don't like to hurt anybody. That isn't my intention. I've got to show intent and aggression. And I did get him out four balls later, which was the plan I suppose."

Paul Collingwood picked up a record-equalling four catches - only Marcus Trescothick has taken as many in the outfield in an England innings – against mighty Zimbabwe in 2003.

Swann ends Bore War but Cook overheats

GRAEME SWANN take a bow. Rarely in the history of spin bowling have so many overs been bowled in such heat for so few. And he ended with his third five-wicket haul in Test cricket. Ignore the fact England have lost Alastair Cook early in their reply, Swann is the man.

Not only did his 45 miserly overs in extreme temperatures keep England in touch with South Africa, who were all out for 418 when many were predicting a score of 500-plus. His 5-110 also ended the Bore War, which broke out around tea-time when the South African tail-enders decided to strangle the first Test.

In Perth this morning, Chris Gayle hit the fifth fastest hundred in Test history with a 70-ball whirlwind against Australia. In direct contrast, Paul Harris (38 off 89 balls) and debutant Friedel de Wet (20 off 67) barely produced an attacking shot in a ninth wicket partnership worth 37 off nearly 17 overs in a bizarre attempt to put a crowd of 9,000 to sleep all at once. In the 10 overs before tea, they scored 11. Ho-hum.

Oh for a Gayle force to blow here. But when England came in to bat, such feats looked a very distant prospect. Makhaya Ntini, winning his 100^th cap, came roaring in and had Cook dropped in the first over, right through the hands of AB De Villiers at third slip.

De Wet was less boring with the ball than the bat. His first delivery in Test cricket was a massive leg side wide in the Steve Harmison style. His second beat Andrew Strauss all ends up.

But after that dodgy start, England’s opening pair began to settle until the sixth over when, with England on 25, Cook got the slightest of edges to De Wet and wicketkeeper Mark Boucher, out for a painful 49 in earlier the day, snaffled the catch. No pesky review required.

Cook had been looking good until that point, cracking three fours and scoring 15 off 17 balls while Strauss stayed in his shell. With a minimum of 20 overs remaining, England are 26-1 - any further losses would seriously take the gloss of England’s efforts in the field.

Jimmy Anderson may have turned the course of this game when he had the heroic Jacques Kallis, who looked like he could bat forever despite a rib injury, caught at second slip by Paul Collingwood for 120 early in the day.

But Swann’s effort was quite incredible and Onions, 3-86, bowling with a calf strain, deserves a mention too. Paul Collingwood picked up a record-equalling four catches - only Marcus Trescothick has taken as many in the outfield in an England innings – against mighty Zimbabwe in 2003.

Kallis puts England in a hot spot

JACQUES KALLIS put England firmly in their place after a sensational start to the First Test at a sizzling Centurion today, shrugging off his nagging rib injury to hit a magnificent century.

By the close, South Africa had reached 262-4, Kallis had compiled a monumental 112 not out off 203 balls - and that’s just the start of the bad news.

Durham’s Graeme Onions, England’s best bowler in the morning session, is struggling with a calf strain which the management have just said “will need intensive treatment”. He went off for an hour and was limping when he returned to the field, delivering just two mediocre overs at the close.

England chose to go with just four specialist bowlers on a blistering hot day and Jimmy Anderson, Stuart Broad and Graeme Swann – aided by part-timers Paul Collingwood and Jonathan Trott - were wilting by the final session as South Africa gradually turned the game around.

In the final press conference yesterday, England captain Andrew Strauss was asked if 34-year-old Kallis, the world’s top all-rounder would be “mentally vulnerable” after the rib he cracked in October meant he went into the first Test unable to bowl. Strauss grinned: “I don’t think Jacques Kallis and the words “mentally vulnerable” go together do they? I think if he has to do his talking with the bat, he will.”

And he did, pairing up with JP Duminy (38 not out) and AB De Villiers (32) to lead his country out of trouble from a “mentally vulnerable” position of 93-3.

Both Kallis and De Villiers survived confident appeals to the new-fangled “decision review” system – Kallis for an apparently plum LBW and De Villiers a cast-iron caught behind - leaving England with no reviews to call on tomorrow. Just to add to the misery, the unseen television umpire, India’s Amiesh Saheba, also reprieved South African batsman Ashwell Prince when he was given out LBW by Aussie umpire Steve Davis.

It all started so well for England when South African captain Graeme Smith, usually so patient, opted to chase Stuart Broad down the leg side, got a touch to one that bounced, and Matt Prior took a lovely diving catch to provide the first wicket of the series after just nine balls.

The South Africans were wearing black armbands as a tribute to Smith’s grandfather who died over the weekend, which might go some way to explaining his uncharacteristic loss of concentration this morning.

As a furious Smith ducked out, Broad continued to get bounce but the South Africans battled their way through the first hour with Hashim Amla and Prince surviving numerous oohs and ahs from the English slip cordon.

When Durham’s Graeme Onions came on to bowl his first balls in anger for some time on this tour, he had Amla in trouble with two huge lbw shouts but captain Andrew Strauss declined the opportunity to go to a review.

Onions thought he’d finally struck in the 19^th over when Australian umpire Steve Davis responded to a third, huge appeal – this time for the wicket of Prince on 19. But despite the fickle finger being raised, the new-fangled review system was called into operation and once more, showed the ball was going marginally over the top and Prince was reprieved.

Onions – the pick of England’s bowlers with his late out-swing – finally got his reward in the 21^st over of the day, with Amla’s attempted drive producing an edge to the diving Paul Collingwood in the slips. The man with the mighty beard was gone for a hairy 19 off 67 balls and South Africa were 51-2 with all-rounder Kallis, who is unlikely to bowl in this Test due to his rib problem, striding to the crease. The papers have been full of anxiety over his fitness here, and we soon found out why.

Spinner Graeme Swann produced the third wicket with his second ball after coming on in the 35^th over. He got Prince to turn one low to a grateful Collingwood and was gone for 45 off 94 balls and South Africa were 93-3. Kallis responded in Swann’s next over, hitting the livewire Nottinghamshire tweaker for a huge six and a four.

The review system and invisible telly umpire Saheba became the talking point as first Kallis was given not out to a very good shout from Anderson on 35 – it seemed to fulfil all the criteria but may just have got an inside edge – then De Villiers appeared to be snaffled behind by Prior off Swann but though the replay suggested there had been an edge, the crowd roared their approval at the not out verdict.

The review system does not use the “hot spot” technology which shows if the ball has hit the bat, and Saheba may have been confused by Prior whipping the bails off after taking the catch. But England were convinced they had got their man – instead captain Strauss, so cautious in the early session, was left with no reviews left to take.

A frustrated Swann finally got one to turn sharply on De Villiers, who was caught by Cook at short leg for 32. But by then Smith’s early dismissal and the last-minute injury to Dale Steyn, currently No1 in the world Test rankings, were history. Day one to South Africa with a long, hot day two to come.

And you have to ask: Was Strauss right to bowl when he won the toss on the hottest day of the tour so far after opting not to pick a fifth bowler? Smith said it: “I would have had a bat.”

England wilt in the heat as Onions struggles with a calf

ENGLAND let South Africa off the hook after a sensational start to the First Test at a sizzling Centurion today – and may have to make do with just three front line bowlers tomorrow, with another cloudless African sky in prospect.

Durham’s Graeme Onions, England’s best bowler in the morning session, is struggling with a calf strain which the management have just said “will need intensive treatment”. He went off for an hour and was limping when he returned to the field.

England chose to go with just four specialist bowlers on a blistering hot day and Jimmy Anderson, Stuart Broad and Graeme Swann – aided by part-timers Paul Collingwood and Jonathan Trott - were wilting by the final session as South Africa gradually turned the game around to reach 220-4 with 13 overs to come before the close.

Heroic Jacques Kallis (84 not out including a huge six off Graeme Swann) shrugged off his rib injury with JP Duminy (27 not out) in support but it was Kallis and AB De Villiers (32) who led the initial recovery with a backs-to-the-wall fourth-wicket partnership worth 66 runs off 20 overs.

Both survived confident appeals to the new-fangled “decision review” system – Kallis for an apparently plum LBW and De Villiers a cast-iron caught behind - leaving England with no reviews to call on tomorrow. The unseen television umpire, India’s Amiesh Saheba, also reprieved South African batsman Ashwell Prince when he was given out LBW by Aussie umpire Steve Davis.

It all started so well for England when South African captain Graeme Smith, usually so patient, opted to chase Stuart Broad down the leg side, got a touch to one that bounced, and Matt Prior took a lovely diving catch to provide the first wicket of the series after just nine balls.

The South Africans were wearing black armbands as a tribute to Smith’s grandfather who died over the weekend, which might go some way to explaining his uncharacteristic loss of concentration this morning.

As a furious Smith ducked out, Broad continued to get bounce but the South Africans battled their way through the first hour with Hashim Amla and Prince surviving numerous oohs and ahs from the English slip cordon.

When Durham’s Graeme Onions came on to bowl his first balls in anger for some time on this tour, he had Amla in trouble with two huge lbw shouts but captain Andrew Strauss declined the opportunity to go to a review.

Onions thought he’d finally struck in the 19^th over when Australian umpire Steve Davis responded to a third, huge appeal – this time for the wicket of Prince on 19. But despite the fickle finger being raised, the new-fangled review system was called into operation and once more, showed the ball was going marginally over the top and Prince was reprieved.

Onions – the pick of England’s bowlers with his late out-swing – finally got his reward in the 21^st over of the day, with Amla’s attempted drive producing an edge to the diving Paul Collingwood in the slips. The man with the mighty beard was gone for a hairy 19 off 67 balls and South Africa were 51-2 with all-rounder Kallis, who is unlikely to bowl in this Test due to his rib problem, striding to the crease. The papers have been full of anxiety over his fitness here, and we soon found out why.

Spinner Graeme Swann produced the third wicket with his second ball after coming on in the 35^th over. He got Prince to turn one low to a grateful Collingwood and was gone for 45 off 94 balls and South Africa were 93-3. Kallis responded in Swann’s next over, hitting the livewire Nottinghamshire tweaker for a huge six and a four.

The review system and invisible telly umpire Saheba became the talking point as first Kallis was given not out to a very good shout from Anderson on 35 – it seemed to fulfil all the criteria but may just have got an inside edge – then De Villiers appeared to be snaffled behind by Prior off Swann but though the replay suggested there had been an edge, the crowd roared their approval at the not out verdict.

The review system does not use the “hot spot” technology which shows if the ball has hit the bat, and Saheba may have been confused by Prior whipping the bails off after taking the catch. But England were convinced they had got their man – instead captain Strauss, so cautious in the early session, was left with no reviews left to take.

A frustrated Swann finally got one to turn sharply on De Villiers, who was caught by Cook at short leg for 32. But by then Smith’s early dismissal and the last-minute injury to Dale Steyn, currently No1 in the world Test rankings, were history. Day one to South Africa with a long, hot day two to come.

And you have to ask: Was Strauss right to bowl when he won the toss on the hottest day of the tour so far after opting not to pick a fifth bowler? Smith said it: “I would have had a bat.”

England get Smith for a duck and the heat is on

ENGLAND claimed the prize scalp of South Africa captain Graeme Smith in the second over of the first Test at a sizzling-hot Centurion this morning and held the edge with the hosts 70-2 at lunch.

Smith, usually so patient, opted to chase Stuart Broad down the leg side, got a touch to one that bounced, and Matt Prior took a lovely diving catch to provide the first wicket of the series after just nine balls.

The South Africans were wearing black armbands as a tribute to Smith’s grandfather who died over the weekend, which might go some way to explaining his uncharacteristic loss of concentration this morning.

As a furious Smith ducked out, Broad continued to get bounce but the South Africans battled their way through the first hour with Hashim Amla and Ashwell Prince surviving numerous oohs and ahs from the English slip cordon.

When Durham’s Graeme Onions came on to bowl his first balls in anger for some time on this tour, he had Amla in trouble twice in as many overs, prodding hopelessly and defending his wicket with his pads – both produced huge lbw shouts.

Strauss considered using the review system, chatting to Onions and explaining the situation to his slips, before deciding not to beg for the wicket. Just as well. Hawkeye showed both going millimetres over the bails.

Onions thought he’d finally struck in the 19^th over when umpire Steve Davis, under constant pressure, finally responded to a third, huge appeal – this time for the wicket of Prince, who thought he was out for 19. But despite the fickle finger being raised, the new-fangled review system was called into operation and once more, showed the ball was going marginally over the top and Prince was reprieved.

Onions got his reward in the 21^st over of the day, with Amla’s attempted drive producing an edge to the diving Paul Collingwood in the slips. The man with the mighty beard was gone for a less-than-fluent 19 off 67 balls and South Africa were 51-2 with all-rounder Jacques Kallis, who is unlikely to bowl in this Test due to his rib problem, striding to the crease.

In the very next over, Anderson nearly got the wicket he deserved when Prince cut over Alastair Cook at point. The Essex opening bat got a hand to it, but the ball popped from his grasp.

After his second let off, Prince finally produced the first authentic shot of the day – in the 25^th over – when he pulled Onions for a sumptuous four to move into the 30s.

Smith's shock dismissal had piled the pressure on the hosts, who lost paceman Dale Steyn, currently No1 in the world Test rankings, an hour before the start. He pulled up complaining that his hamstring injury had “tightened” over night.

Having lost the month-long battle to get Steyn fit, South Africa were forced to opt for 29-year-old debutant Friedel De Wet in the pace department - he didn't even make the glossy match programme, so late was his call-up to the Test squad.

The Highveld Lions seamer's sudden appearance has reportedly created tension in the camp between head of selectors Mike Procter and coach Mickey Arthur, who prefers Wayne Parnell, controversially sent back to his province on Monday.

Moments after hearing the news of Steyn’s removal, England captain Andrew Strauss won the toss and – surprisingly - opted to bowl despite the searing heat. The early wicket suggested he might have been right, but it will be stifling in the field.

After six weeks of rain and cloud, England had awoken on the Day of Reconciliation – a public holiday in South Africa – to find the sky cloudless for the first time in weeks. With no rain forecast until the weekend, England decided to go without a fifth bowler, sticking with Ian Bell to bat at No6.

But as they awarded Bell his 50^th cap, huddled in a circle while the locals poured into a ground heading for a capacity 14,000 crowd, they would have felt the sweat building on a day where temperatures are likely to hit the high 80s. Not the best conditions for a side containing three paceman - Anderson, Broad and Onions – who have not come across that sort of heat on this tour so far.

Ryan Sidebottom, the Nottinghamshire seamer who took five wickets in the last warm-up in East London, will sit it out in Centurion with Durham’s Onions preferred. Luke Wright, who may have come in as an all-rounder for Bell, might have been a fall-back option if the heat overwhelmed the attack but that duty will now fall to Collingwood’s dobblers.

After winning the toss, Strauss said: “We think it might do a little bit this morning, so it's a good opportunity to get stuck in and put some pressure on the South Africans. We’ve gone with six batsmen and four bowlers. We don’t know much about De Wet, but it won’t make a massive difference.”

Graeme Smith responded: “It’s a blow to lose somebody of Dale’s calibre, but it’s a big opportunity for De Wet. If I’d won the toss, I would have had a bat.”

With South Africa’s leading wicket-taker Makhaya Ntini winning his 100^th cap amid much hullabaloo before the start, Smith added: “He deserves it. Obviously we wish him all the best over the next five days!”

SOUTH AFRICA: Smith (capt), Prince, Amla, Kallis, De Villiers, Duminy, Boucher, M Morkel, P Harris, M Ntini,F de Wet

England : Cook, Strauss, Trott, Pietersen, Collingwood, Bell, Prior, Broad, Swann, Anderson, Onions.

England choose to bowl as stubborn Steyn is removed

SOUTH AFRICA lost the world’s best bowler on the eve of the first Test against England in a sizzling hot Centurion (see my super snap, right) this morning.

Paceman Dale Steyn, currently No1 in the world Test rankings, pulled up complaining that his hamstring injury had “tightened” over night.

Having lost the month-long battle to get Steyn fit, South Africa were forced to opt for 29-year-old debutant Friedel De Wet in the pace department - he didn't even make the glossy match programme, so late was his call-up to the Test squad. The Highveld Lions seamer's sudden appearance has reportedly created tension in the camp between head of selectors Mike Procter and coach Mickey Arthur, who prefers Wayne Parnell, who was sent back to his province on Monday.

Moments after hearing the news, England captain Andrew Strauss won the toss and – surprisingly - opted to bowl despite the searing heat.

After six weeks of rain and cloud, England had awoken on the Day of Reconciliation – a public holiday in South Africa – to find the sky cloudless for the first time in weeks. With no rain forecast until the weekend, England decided to go without a fifth bowler, sticking with Ian Bell to bat at No6.

But as they awarded Bell his 50^th cap, huddled in a circle while the locals poured into a ground heading for a capacity 14,000 crowd, they would have felt the sweat building on a day where temperatures are likely to his the high 80s. Not the best conditions for a side containing three paceman - Jimmy Anderson, Stuart Broad and Graeme Onions – who have not come across that sort of heat on this tour so far.

Ryan Sidebottom, the Nottinghamshire seamer who took five wickets in the last warm-up in East London, will sit it out in Centurion with Durham’s Onions preferred. Luke Wright, who may have come in as an all-rounder for Bell, might have been a fall-back option if the heat overwhelmed the attack.

After winning the toss, Strauss said: “We think it might do a little bit this morning, so it's a good opportunity to get stuck in and put some pressure on the South Africans. We’ve gone with six batsmen and four bowlers. We don’t know much about De Wet, but it won’t make a massive difference.”

Graeme Smith responded: “It’s a blow to lose somebody of Dale’s calibre, but it’s a big opportunity for De Wet. If I’d won the toss, I would have had a bat.”

With South Africa’s leading wicket-taker Makhaya Ntini winning his 100^th cap amid much hullabaloo before the start, Smith added: “He deserves it. Obviously we wish him all the best over the next five days!”

SOUTH AFRICA: Smith (capt), Prince, Amla, Kallis, De Villiers, Duminy, Boucher, M Morkel, P Harris, M Ntini,F de Wet

England : Cook, Strauss, Trott, Pietersen, Collingwood, Bell, Prior, Broad, Swann, Anderson, Onions.

EARLIER: UNBELIEVABLE here in Centurion for the first day of the first Test between South Africa and England. Clear blue skies for the first time in a month (see my brilliant snap, right).

And it's Reconciliation Day.

Yes, a public holiday on December 16, just before Christmas. Used to be called the Day of the Covenant under the old Apartheid government. That was to celebrate the Boers seeing off the Zulu at Blood River.

The new government thought it prudent to celebrate reconciliation rather than massacre.

Expect little in the way of reconciliation at Centurion today. It's going to get bloody tough.

For the first time on tour, England will face steepling temperatures and - according to the weather forecast - little in the way of relief until Saturday. You can never say when a tropical storm will loom over the horizon but it looks unlikely at this point.

We're waiting for the final teams to be named and the coin to be tossed. Me? I'd bat. The pitch will dry out, the fielders will wilt in the heat.

The pitch looks a lot less green today... and when the clouds return over the weekend, we'll want Jimmy Anderson to be swinging it.

We'll wait and see. England looked in fine fettle getting out of the bus, rarely have we gone into an away series overseas with such hope against such a strong side. But as the sun climbs in the African sky, they'll feel the heat. And after over a month of rain and cloud, they may not be ready for it.

Back in 1999 at The Wanderers, England batted and lost four wickets in the first hour. Let's hope there's no repeat.