Why Shaky is going nowhere fast: the sad tale of South African football

Head man: Shakes Mashaba

ALL hope is lost. Well, just about. There is actually a complicated list of results which could still see battered Bafana Bafana get to AFCON 2017 in Gabon.

But it’s a helluva long-shot. Only Ghana managed to get through to Equatorial Guinea in 2015 with 11 points out of seven group winners. Everybody else topped their groups with 12, 13, 14 or even a perfect 18 points.

The most South Africa can get after their frustrating 0-0 draw against an unambitious Cameroon in Durban last week? NINE POINTS. 

Somehow, if Cameroon and Mauritania contrive to fall over before the line from here, Shaky - as he is now known - might still get through on goal difference if Bafana beat Gambia away and Mauritania at home.

So yes, Mr Mashaba, you’re right. “Our AFCON 2017 campaign is looking darker and darker” but there is a tiny loophole of light.

But it’s the way Shaky tells it that lacks a certain professionalism. A crass mixture of arrogance and denialism never did anybody much good. Ask our president.

Mashaba was waxing lyrical about his chances of making it to Gabon as one of two best runners-up in the group. Again, that will probably require 11 points. But when that was put to him at the press conference, Mashaba responded rudely, asking “who’s view is more important here, yours or mine?”.

The attitude is not new. Mashaba got his son Thabo to ask questions when his imminent failure began to become an acceptable topic last year. And then there was the time he told us: “I’m going to be rude — I think my colour is a problem here. That’s what I’m going to say.”

All patent nonsense of course. Gordon Igesund and a string of Brazilians took far more stick far earlier in their reigns. 

The problem with Mashaba is not his arrogance or his colour. It’s his utter failure to select in-form national squads, his inability to hold on to a lead, his blindness to quick substitutions and... well... South Africa’s general footballing demise over the past 18 months.

Going back to the 2-2 draw in Nigeria in 2014 - which capped off an unbeaten qualification campaign for AFCON 2015 - Shaky has presided over EIGHT African Cup of Nations fixtures. Of those, five were drawn, three were lost... and not a single one has been won.

We left AFCON 2015 with one point. Then came COSAFA and CHAN failures, bracketed by the Group M debacle we now find ourselves embroiled in. A home draw with Gambia was unexpected. Defeat in Mauritania simply unacceptable.

Though Mashaba started his qualifying campaign in 2014 by picking youngsters in line with SAFA president’s VISION2022 programme, by the time AFCON 2015 came around he was doing the usual Bafana boss thing: picking players suggested by his favourite agents, some of whom weren’t even playing for their clubs.

Ignoring in-form players - to the point where he actually accused our one few top-level regular European players he was "too heavy". Going for older and older players and ignoring the Vision2022 blueprint. 

Dennis Mumble, the curious little man who went from Team Manager to CEO at SAFA in the space of four years, insists after the recent qualifying debacle: “The judgement process is already underway. We do not want to react with a knee-jerk.

“We do have the option of telling Mashaba “listen this is not going to work” (before World Cup qualifying begins with the draw in June) but we still have confidence in our head coach.”

Sadly then, and this is a national trend, our leadership will stay intact despite obvious, critical failure at the highest level.

When Mashaba told us after failing at home against Cameroon: “If we play like this we will qualify for the World Cup” his shortcomings were revealed in a sentence.

When I was discussing Kamohelo Mokotjo's complaints in the Dutch newspaper De Telegraaf today, I got four or five calls from interesting sources in the South African game talking about life under Mashaba.

One, an agent, told me Mashaba only deals with "local agents" and that he gets kickbacks for picking them in his squads. We've been there before. Hard to prove, easy to suggest looking at the continual selection of players who attend club games armed with cushions.

Then there was the former Bafana player revealing how Mashaba's training camps are "like amateur night" and that general chaos surrounds a call up to the South African team. Missed flights, team meetings where Mashaba is an hour late, the time in Latin America where the players stayed in bunk beds while Shaky flew home on the first flight to coach the Nedbank Keyona team.

Or how about the coach who said: "When Shaky suffered a few withdrawals before the Cameroon games, he didn't have any numbers to call replacements. They were scrambling about trying to find somebody, anybody.

"There is no communication with SAFA, there are international players who have not heard from Mashaba since he took over. Others who are called to the squad but just get ignored for a week. We've even had players called up... and then told not to come."

Then, from my mole at SAFA House, THIS: "A senior official told Mashaba to try to be more relaxed with the media. He just laughed. It was suggested he should stand aside for the World Cup qualifiers but he just shrugged his shoulders."

Reading between the lines of this morning's calls, it appears - like our president Jacob Zuma - there is NOTHING that would make Mashaba leave his lucrative leadership role.

With money coming in from SAFA, his expenses, Nedbank and so-called "other sources", Mashaba is earning more than our top PSL coaches for doing a lot less and achieving next to nothing.

One player told me this morning: "He barely talks to some of the squad, particularly the overseas players. He has his favourites. There are agents everywhere. The team talks are a joke, some of us can't even understand what he's saying. He makes references to Apartheid and the struggle, but we have no idea what to do when we go down the tunnel.

"Sometimes he just shrugs and says "I know nothing about the opposition" which isn't great 10 minutes before a vital game."

The clincher for me was from the SAFA House mole: "Mashaba appoints more and more people around him without even asking the Executive. He does as he pleases. He doesn't turn up for meetings if he thinks it's going to go badly for him.

"He doesn't listen when we offer advice, he says: "I know how this works. I know all about how SAFA works" then he simply walks away."

The suggestion - from a series of unsolicited callers/emailers which I obviously can't name - being: SAFA can't fire Shaky because he knows too much. He holds the power. Certainly sounded that way to me.

But it’s not just Shaky is it? We live in a nation where crowd figures and transfer fees are top secret. Three of our four representatives are out of continental club competition. Our referees are as poor as our strikers and Kaizer Chiefs, the nation’s favourite club, haven’t scored in five games.

Mumble himself has admitted SAFA is essentially bankrupt, spending R500m a year with an annual income of R300m - and then they turned to penniless national carrier SAA for help! Danny Jordaan has gone from telling me South African football was his one driving ambition to taking the mayoral role in Port Elizabeth and telling us: “Football is just a hobby for me.”

The only bright point? Zimbabwe, packed with PSL stars, SHOULD get to Gabon. At least we’ll have something to cheer about in 2017.

Hero or villain? How do we judge Shakes Mashaba after a rousing 3-0 win over mighty Mauritius?

SUPERSHAKES: Bafana coach Mashaba

LOOK! In the sky above Dobsonville! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's SUPERSHAKES! All hail an emphatic 3-0 win over mighty Mauritius hours after half his squad had deserted him. What powers, what magic from our much-maligned Bafana Bafana coach.

But there will be no comic book adulation for Ephraim Mashaba here. Sadly, we cannot abide quite that level of hero-worship after putting three first half goals past the side beaten 7-1 by Ghana a week before.

Yes, Bra Shakes had to cope with a mass withdrawal of players just 48 hours before the game and yes, he had only one training session with this makeshift side before the CHAN qualifier.

But hold on a minute: Bafana played reasonably well with only one dose of Mashaba. Perhaps that's the way to go. Announce the squad a couple of hours before the game and send them out and let them play.

Experienced players who have played under Mashaba say the same as they did when Gordon Igesund was in charge: the training sessions are uninspiring, the team talks are less than adequate. No wonder they wanted to go back to their clubs.

A brief examination of why Orlando Pirates, Bidvest Wits, Orlando Pirates, Ajax Cape Town and Mamelodi Sundowns pulled 12 players out of the squad reveals a deeper malaise than simple club v country politics.

The root cause of last week’s Bafana crisis lies in Mashaba’s insecurity. He chose to keep his strongest squad together after the awful 0-0 home draw against Group M minnows Gambia in an effort to beat Angola in Tuesday’s friendly.

It worked, of course. After endless goalless minutes, Shaky Bafana won the friendly 2-1, ironically on an own goal, though Ayanda Patosi's cunning lob deserved better than that.

But when the players, already in camp for a week in Durban, moved from Cape Town to Johannesburg, everyone knew the big players were supposed to return to their clubs for pre-season, just as we knew Tokelo Rantie would not turn up for the Gambia game after his wedding.

South African football is guilty of poor communication, mismanagement and a first qualifier which will make qualifying for AFCON 2017 tougher than ever with Cameroon and Mauritania to come. We won’t even mention the scramble to find players on Friday and the fact that three of them turned up without passports and were thus rendered ineligible.

So it’s very hard to get too excited about a 3-0 win over Mauritania. Especially when the coach comes out afterwards and complains that his players “need to learn to unlock teams like this, they must be able to score against a side parking the bus”.

But of course, in order to do that, they have to have leadership and tactical guidance from the coach. And of that, there was little sign after a rousing first half in front of a worryingly empty Dobsonville Stadium, right in the heart of Soweto.

Yes, we can celebrate a rare romp against an island nation currently ranked 176 in the world, and as Mashaba rightly said: “We are not scared of them, we do not fear the away leg in two weeks.”

But throughout a week of crisis and turmoil, Mashaba and his media men have failed to explain the full facts of a crisis which left South Africa without a team barely a day before a match scheduled for months.

We were left with a stony silence from Danny Jordaan – the SAFA president who now doubles up as mayor of Nelson Mandela Bay – or PSL chairman Irvin Khoza. Nobody explained why the players returned to their clubs or why the planned use of “fringe players” for CHAN wasn’t implemented until the final hours before Saturday’s game.

In truth, with one point registered at AFCON and first hurdle failures in both the COSAFA Cup and Plate, our game is rapidly sliding backwards. The same old problems are cropping up but most are too scared to explain them away.

Yes, it was great to be 3-0 up at half-time – perhaps even better escape Sports Minister Fikile Mbalula’s ill-judged hype which we were subjected to twice during coverage of the Angola friendly.

And we can celebrate the emergence of two-goal Siphelele Ntshangase and Marc van Heerden - both still officially NFD players with Black Leopards and AmaZulu - as well as the enduring, unbeaten brilliance of captain Itumeleng Khune.

But the truth is, that 0-0 draw against Gambia at home was the important result for Bafana in a turbulent eight day period. Friendly wins and CHAN qualifiers are of no importance. Vision 2022 was what we were promised, but I see no vision at all. Just a blind scramble for available players at the last minute.

I hate being the Grinch who stole CHANmas, but that simply cannot be the way ahead.

Goalless and distinctly Shaky: we can't blame Mashaba for missed chances but for everything else: AAAAAARGH!

LAUGHABLE: Mashaba and Jordaan

THE smallest nation on the African continent? Gambia. Even smaller than Swaziland. Population? Under two million. They don’t even have a professional football league at home.

But somehow South Africa’s 55 million must live with the frustration of another goalless draw at the Moses Mabhida Stadium on Saturday against the side currently ranked 160 in the world.

And all this after those appalling 0-0 draws with Botswana and Malawi at the COSAFA Cup, which BOTH ended in penalty shoot-out defeats. Guess who was hosting that one. Three home games, no goals. Urgh.

And before that? One point at AFCON 2015 after an impressive qualifying campaign under Ephraim “Shakes” Mashaba. We haven’t scored since the first half of our last game in Equatorial Guinea, where South Africa left with the equal-poorest record in the tournament.

Some insect species have lived an etire life-time, born, married, had kids and taken a pension since South Africa last won a competitive football match under the guidance of the man who insisted we would win AFCON 2015 and might still win the World Cup in 2018. Bollocks of course.

Sadly, in his lucid moments, the man now known as Shaky is also forced to repeat the same dull mantra tried endlessly by his predecessors. “We should have scored three or four in the last 15 minutes. If we’d done that, we’d be talking something different after the game.”

Yes Shaky, you’re right. But we’ve been saying that for years now. Mashaba goes a step further: “It’s not just a national team problem, it’s a South African problem, no team in the country scores goals.”

That’s simply not true. We cannot blame Mashaba for the glaring misses from Thabo Matlaba and Thuso Phala on Saturday, but we CAN ask about his selection policy.

After taking a look at the PSL’s top scorers Moeketsi Sekola (Free State Stars, 14), Lerato Lamola (Bloemfontein Celtic, 13) and Puleng Tlolane (Polokwane City, 11) and NFD goal-getter Phumelela Bhengu (22 for Thanda Royal Zulu), Shaky went in to the opening AFCON 2017 qualifier with a whole new forward line.

Inexplicably, Bonginkosi Ntuli, Vuyisile Wana and Gift Motupa were suddenly elevated to stardom, alongside Tokelo Rantie, who got married last Saturday.

Predictably, Rantie – who played 128 minutes in TOTAL for promoted Bournemouth last season, never turned up. The honeymoon was clearly too good to cut short. Kermit Erasmus, with 15 goals in all competitions for Orlando Pirates this season, went public on twitter to tell us he wasn’t a back up player. And he was on holiday in Holland.

So Mashaba plumped for Thamsanqa Gabuza, who scored three times for Pirates in the Confederations Cup against some outfit from Gabon after the season closed. During the actual PSL season, Gabuza failed to score a league goal while Erasmus and Lehlohonolo Major netted 18 between them.

And when it came to match day, Mashaba promptly ignored the other strikers chosen in the squad and plumped for Gabuza.

It makes no sense to do that. It de-motivates the players picked for the original 23 and leads mischievous journalists to believe some players are only slipped in to the squad to please certain agents.

It’s not just up front that Mashaba dithers. It's all over the field; often he calls up players who haven't even been playing regularly for their clubs, often on the advice of a friendly agent. Oh, and he likes to rotate goalkeepers and captaincy too, insisting: "What does a captain do anyway except toss the coin at the start of the game?"

Just look at the lack of leadership on Saturday, the lack of drive, urgency. But it's more. His substitutions on Saturday, as Gambia ran out of steam in their first competititive match since being banned for U20 age cheating in 2014, were laughable.

He whipped off Gabuza, the only real striker, and shoved on Thuso Phala, who promptly put a glorious chance straight in to the arms of the Gambian goalkeeper from six yards.

In the end, man of the match Thabo Matlaba had the best chances from left back, one well saved, the other fluffed high in to the Durban night sky.

Shaky says international selection has to be about consistency and form. But he leaves FC Twente’s Kamohelo Mokotjo – picked as the central midfielder in the Dutch Ere Divisie’s team of the season – at home, while picking Ayanda Patosi and the “banned” May Mahlangu.

It’s inexplicable. It’s obvious. This is a man who laughs off preparation, insisting he doesn't like spying on future opponents. This is a man who admits he's a motivator, not a tactician. A shouter not a thinker. 

But I've said all this and nobody listened. And the truth is, we have to give Shakes some breaks. SAFA are far too busy with the current FIFA allegations to deal with another Bafana Bafana coaching change. And Dean Furman, Tower Mathoho, Tefu Mashamaite and Rantie made last week pretty difficult.

We keep the faith. Group M has a long way to go. Cameroon and Mauritania will be touge than Gambia. The friendly against Angola could be disastrous. Yet we must believe in our coach and his unusual, often eccentric methods.

But please, Shaky… just this once. Let’s pick our strongest players FROM THE START.