From Shaky to shakier: Mashaba said "something special is brewing" but it was just decomposing

TIME TO GO: Ephraim "Shakes" Mashaba

ONE win in months. An endless list of excuses. Failure to address deep-seated failures in the organisation. Lacking qualified leadership. No, we're not talking Kaizer Chiefs. Or even the ANC. It's SOUTH AFRICAN FOOTBALL we have to worry about.

Our PSL ground to a halt after one game, with the opening round suffering record low attendances. For the first time in living memory we don't have a player in the top 5 leagues in Europe. Our national football team continues to hit new lows.

Thank God for Mamelodi Sundowns, I say. And yes, they are coached by the coach SAFA threw out.

Like a broken record, Pitso Mosimane's successor Ephraim Mashaba drones on. And on. A 1-1 home draw against a 10-man nation of slave owners. But listen carefully. Mashaba’s saying nothing. He’s going nowhere.

Third in Group M. Out of AFCON 2017 months ago, though neither coach nor president appeared to notice. One point from two games against Mauritania, ranked 104 in the world.

No admission of guilt from Shakes. No apology to the nation. Just a bizarre utterance concerning Zimbabwe’s Kharma Billiat, when Dino Ndlovu and Kermit Erasmus, resurrecting their striking careers on foreign fields, are ignored again and again by our national head coach.

As a lesson in motivation, Mashaba’s views on his strike force are best ignored. But here it is: "All the top strikers in the league are foreign. If I can have a player like Khama Billiat, then maybe we’d score more.”

But then Mashaba’s post-match comments cannot be expected to measure up to somebody like, say, Kaizer Chiefs coach-cum-poet Steve Komphela.

On June 5 this year, Mashaba said: "Can this be one of the best Bafana Bafana teams ever? Something special is brewing." Arrogant. Delusional. Out of touch. His current squad rarely rises above the awful.

He's even talked about winning the World Cup, in his mind, his team "completely dominates" every team Bafana plays against, he eagerly suggests the non-playing stars in his line-up will come good, it’s been this way since the 2-2 draw with Nigeria in 2014.

Up to that point, we were happy to put up with his bizarre lack of tactics, his weird decisions, that inexplicable head-rubbing goal celebration.

But by the time he’d selected his AFCON 2015 team, throwing out Thulani Serero in a deceitful rage, we were starting to suspect Mashaba wasn’t all he seemed. We finally began to understand why he hadn’t been snatched up to manage a club or left South Africa’s youth set-up apart from a brief failure with Swaziland.

There’s more: after the Mauritania debacle, the decision to let his old favourite Thamsanqa Gabuza take the penalty, the fact we didn’t try to exploit the visitors’ red card, the total lack of imagination.

Here’s more: “The way the boys are playing, I don’t doubt we’ll qualify for the World Cup,” he boasts, just before our qualifying group rivals Senegal became the ONLY side to qualify for Gabon next year with a perfect record.

And then: "We are really looking forward to qualifying with the team we are setting up, but we have one problem; how are we going to sort out the scoring problem?”

But that’s where this all started. We go in to the Mandela challenge against Egypt full of hope. South Africa have been winning friendlies and losing competitive games for decades. Remember the 2010 World Cup warm-ups? Unbeaten for months. The dodgy 3-0 win over Mali in Gabon just before AFCON 2015?

Best not examine those games too closely. They have given Mashaba an apparently impressive overall record 37 games, with 17 wins, 16 draws and just four defeats.

But look closer. Go back to that last AFCON 2015 qualifier in Nigeria, drawn 2-2 after two superb Tokelo Rantie goals. Since then, Bafana have played 10 Afcon games. Just one win, 7 draws, two defeats. You get a clearer picture. The real picture.

Mashaba is tactically bankrupt. He has no idea how to change a game with substitutes. Mr Rotation doesn’t even know who his captain, goalkeeper or penalty taker might be. He chooses players, as so many Bafana coaches before him, by listening to the loudest agent.

And for those, like me, who thought a technical director might help control a man who gets his son to ask questions in press conferences, Neil Tovey has been the biggest disappointment of all. Silent on all fronts, apart from SuperSport TV where he is paid for his views while pulling a big salary from SAFA. Unbelievable.

I have little doubt Shaky, who apparently still subscribes to Danny Jordaan’s Vision 2022 philosophy, will beat Egypt on Tuesday with five or six players close to 30.

And the SAFA President, just back from losing Nelson Mandela Bay to the DA, will no doubt tell us how wonderful everything is. It’s isn’t. We finished THIRD in AFCON Group M. Only ONE side qualifies for Russian 2018. Senegal are coming.

Why Shaky is going nowhere fast: the sad tale of South African football

Head man: Shakes Mashaba

ALL hope is lost. Well, just about. There is actually a complicated list of results which could still see battered Bafana Bafana get to AFCON 2017 in Gabon.

But it’s a helluva long-shot. Only Ghana managed to get through to Equatorial Guinea in 2015 with 11 points out of seven group winners. Everybody else topped their groups with 12, 13, 14 or even a perfect 18 points.

The most South Africa can get after their frustrating 0-0 draw against an unambitious Cameroon in Durban last week? NINE POINTS. 

Somehow, if Cameroon and Mauritania contrive to fall over before the line from here, Shaky - as he is now known - might still get through on goal difference if Bafana beat Gambia away and Mauritania at home.

So yes, Mr Mashaba, you’re right. “Our AFCON 2017 campaign is looking darker and darker” but there is a tiny loophole of light.

But it’s the way Shaky tells it that lacks a certain professionalism. A crass mixture of arrogance and denialism never did anybody much good. Ask our president.

Mashaba was waxing lyrical about his chances of making it to Gabon as one of two best runners-up in the group. Again, that will probably require 11 points. But when that was put to him at the press conference, Mashaba responded rudely, asking “who’s view is more important here, yours or mine?”.

The attitude is not new. Mashaba got his son Thabo to ask questions when his imminent failure began to become an acceptable topic last year. And then there was the time he told us: “I’m going to be rude — I think my colour is a problem here. That’s what I’m going to say.”

All patent nonsense of course. Gordon Igesund and a string of Brazilians took far more stick far earlier in their reigns. 

The problem with Mashaba is not his arrogance or his colour. It’s his utter failure to select in-form national squads, his inability to hold on to a lead, his blindness to quick substitutions and... well... South Africa’s general footballing demise over the past 18 months.

Going back to the 2-2 draw in Nigeria in 2014 - which capped off an unbeaten qualification campaign for AFCON 2015 - Shaky has presided over EIGHT African Cup of Nations fixtures. Of those, five were drawn, three were lost... and not a single one has been won.

We left AFCON 2015 with one point. Then came COSAFA and CHAN failures, bracketed by the Group M debacle we now find ourselves embroiled in. A home draw with Gambia was unexpected. Defeat in Mauritania simply unacceptable.

Though Mashaba started his qualifying campaign in 2014 by picking youngsters in line with SAFA president’s VISION2022 programme, by the time AFCON 2015 came around he was doing the usual Bafana boss thing: picking players suggested by his favourite agents, some of whom weren’t even playing for their clubs.

Ignoring in-form players - to the point where he actually accused our one few top-level regular European players he was "too heavy". Going for older and older players and ignoring the Vision2022 blueprint. 

Dennis Mumble, the curious little man who went from Team Manager to CEO at SAFA in the space of four years, insists after the recent qualifying debacle: “The judgement process is already underway. We do not want to react with a knee-jerk.

“We do have the option of telling Mashaba “listen this is not going to work” (before World Cup qualifying begins with the draw in June) but we still have confidence in our head coach.”

Sadly then, and this is a national trend, our leadership will stay intact despite obvious, critical failure at the highest level.

When Mashaba told us after failing at home against Cameroon: “If we play like this we will qualify for the World Cup” his shortcomings were revealed in a sentence.

When I was discussing Kamohelo Mokotjo's complaints in the Dutch newspaper De Telegraaf today, I got four or five calls from interesting sources in the South African game talking about life under Mashaba.

One, an agent, told me Mashaba only deals with "local agents" and that he gets kickbacks for picking them in his squads. We've been there before. Hard to prove, easy to suggest looking at the continual selection of players who attend club games armed with cushions.

Then there was the former Bafana player revealing how Mashaba's training camps are "like amateur night" and that general chaos surrounds a call up to the South African team. Missed flights, team meetings where Mashaba is an hour late, the time in Latin America where the players stayed in bunk beds while Shaky flew home on the first flight to coach the Nedbank Keyona team.

Or how about the coach who said: "When Shaky suffered a few withdrawals before the Cameroon games, he didn't have any numbers to call replacements. They were scrambling about trying to find somebody, anybody.

"There is no communication with SAFA, there are international players who have not heard from Mashaba since he took over. Others who are called to the squad but just get ignored for a week. We've even had players called up... and then told not to come."

Then, from my mole at SAFA House, THIS: "A senior official told Mashaba to try to be more relaxed with the media. He just laughed. It was suggested he should stand aside for the World Cup qualifiers but he just shrugged his shoulders."

Reading between the lines of this morning's calls, it appears - like our president Jacob Zuma - there is NOTHING that would make Mashaba leave his lucrative leadership role.

With money coming in from SAFA, his expenses, Nedbank and so-called "other sources", Mashaba is earning more than our top PSL coaches for doing a lot less and achieving next to nothing.

One player told me this morning: "He barely talks to some of the squad, particularly the overseas players. He has his favourites. There are agents everywhere. The team talks are a joke, some of us can't even understand what he's saying. He makes references to Apartheid and the struggle, but we have no idea what to do when we go down the tunnel.

"Sometimes he just shrugs and says "I know nothing about the opposition" which isn't great 10 minutes before a vital game."

The clincher for me was from the SAFA House mole: "Mashaba appoints more and more people around him without even asking the Executive. He does as he pleases. He doesn't turn up for meetings if he thinks it's going to go badly for him.

"He doesn't listen when we offer advice, he says: "I know how this works. I know all about how SAFA works" then he simply walks away."

The suggestion - from a series of unsolicited callers/emailers which I obviously can't name - being: SAFA can't fire Shaky because he knows too much. He holds the power. Certainly sounded that way to me.

But it’s not just Shaky is it? We live in a nation where crowd figures and transfer fees are top secret. Three of our four representatives are out of continental club competition. Our referees are as poor as our strikers and Kaizer Chiefs, the nation’s favourite club, haven’t scored in five games.

Mumble himself has admitted SAFA is essentially bankrupt, spending R500m a year with an annual income of R300m - and then they turned to penniless national carrier SAA for help! Danny Jordaan has gone from telling me South African football was his one driving ambition to taking the mayoral role in Port Elizabeth and telling us: “Football is just a hobby for me.”

The only bright point? Zimbabwe, packed with PSL stars, SHOULD get to Gabon. At least we’ll have something to cheer about in 2017.

When Shaky Meyer apologised to the nation: doesn't anybody in South Africa know when to resign?

THE TWO STOOGES: Meyer and Mashaba

THIS is not life and death. It's sport. But as different parts of South Africa recover from the devastation of defeats to Arsenal, Kaizer Chiefs and the Springboks, it's important to consider THE NEXT STEP.

Obviously, there have been calls for Arsene Wenger's head for nearly a decade. And NOBODY is demanding the sack for Steve Komphela in his first season, despite Saturday's MTN8 final defeat against Ajax Cape Town.

But something CAN be done about the men who guide our major sports teams: Heyneke Meyer and Ephraim Mashaba. Here's where we begin:

Here’s what Shakes said after Bafana Bafana lost to Mauritania 3-1 in Nouakchott, a result which left the nation on ONE point from two AFCON 2017 qualifiers: “Why should I apologise? I have done nothing wrong. Apology for what? Didn’t this team ever lose? Did the people expect never to lose?”

And here’s what Heyneke Meyer said after the Springboks shock defeat against Japan in their opening Rugby World Cup clash in Brighton on Saturday: "We represent a proud nation and I apologise to the nation. We have got to take it on the chin and get back on track. As coach, I take full responsibility.”

Of course, saying sorry isn’t what it’s all about. South Africans would rather win that hear an apology any day.

And the truth is both our football and rugby national coaches SHOULD resign after a string of poor results with both round and odd-shaped balls.

But nobody in South Africa appears to have the balls to resign when they’ve cocked-up. Meyer and Mashaba will not doubt go on until they are paid-off, taking their lead from the nation’s politicians.

But there are crucial differences between the two failing national coaches, both of whom have broken records for unexpected failure in recent weeks.

Mashaba is NOT expected to beat teams ranked in the top 20 of world football. Japan were ranked 13 in the world of rugby union before their astonishing win over the Boks, probably the greatest shock since William Webb-Ellis handled the ball without a red card in 1823. 

Meyer has the chance to redeem himself against Samoa (12), Scotland (10) and the USA (15) while Mashaba must defeat Cameroon (42) twice, Gambia (142) and Mauritania (114) to qualify for AFCON.

It’s all a bit squiffy of course. Rugby is generally played by former English colonies (yes, parts of France were once British, so was the USA) while football has become the world game despite Webb-Ellis's best efforts.

That’s why, when we consider these disasters for our national games - here we must include the Proteas’ recent failure in Bangladesh - it’s important to consider levels of expectation.

Meyer is under far greater pressure on that front. Pool B of the current Rugby World Cup was considered the easiest of all. Now, having lost to Japan, there are serious concerns that he won’t even get to the quarter-finals. Personally, I think the Boks will make it that far and no further.

While Mashaba has gone off to AFCON and COSAFA and returned without a win, Meyer is expected to live up to the Bok reputation: two World Cup wins and a world ranking of 3 precludes failure to get out of the primordial pools.

Mashaba’s side are currently ranked 72 and sliding. They haven’t won in EIGHT competitive games (unless you count to CHAN qualifiers against mighty Mauritius) and in truth, nobody expects miracles.

We have Angola (88) FOUR TIMES in the coming montha. Two of them for CHAN qualification, then the two massive clashes which will decide which nation goes forward to the World Cup 2018 qualifying groups.

Even if Shakes gets past Angola, he must top the group and then win a play-off to get to Russia. His predecessor Gordon Igesund couldn’t even finish top of their group for Brazil 2014, despite eventual winners Ethiopia being docked points for fielding an ineligible player.

So we expect very little from Mashaba. Just the occasional win over friendly opposition - they go to Central America for to play Costa Rica and Honduras next month - and perhaps the odd Mandela Challenge triumph.

Mashaba can pick who he wants. He can ignore classy George Lebese and Dutch-based Kamohelo Mokotjo while selecting players who are not active for their clubs. He can make poor substitutions and dreadful team-talks for months to come.

But Meyer is firmly in the spotlight. After dozens of “Springbok Farewell” dinners and parades, every move he makes is under scrutiny. For heaven’s sake: he’s picked a 38-year-old fulcrum in Victor Matfield, he only picked eight players of colour and he appears as lost tactically as our old-fashioned Mashaba.

If Meyer wheeled out his son to ask questions in press conference or called our rugby writers "small boys" he'd be gone already. Shakes has no such problems.

What we can be sure of is this: Despite the loud backing of Sports Minister Fikile Mbalula - which doesn’t appear to help - both men are under huge pressure.

If Meyer doesn’t reach the semi-finals of the Rugby World Cup, he’s gone. I’d pull Nick Mallett in from the cold to replace him rather than another dull bore (spell check). If Shakes Mashaba crashes against Angola, he’ll probably survive though Gavin Hunt and Steve Komphela, even Stuart Baxter, would do a far better job.

SAFA’s Dennis Mumble insists Shaky is safe “for two years” which is perhaps the most troubling statement I’ve heard since Steve Komphela said his side have adversity for breakfast.

I say: Do the honourable thing chaps. Heineken Meyer. Shaky Mashaba. Russell Domingone. Apologise when you fail the nation. And resign if you can't turn things around.

A SHOCKING SATURDAY IN STORE FOR BAFANA BAFANA: Welcome to Mauritania, the world leaders on slavery.

GRIM TRUTH: child slavery is common in Mauritania

RIGHT now, South Africa's finest footballers (according to the slightly confused Ephraim Mashaba) are gathering for battle. International conflict is upon us once more. And our beloved Bafana Bafana are scheduled to play Mauritania, the world's leading slave nation.

Today, we could talk about Mpumalanga Black Aces being top of the PSL for three weeks just two months after trying to sell their top flight status to relegated Amazulu.

Or we could recall Steve Komphela’s bizarre post-match interview as he guided Kaizer Chiefs past financially-troubled Bloemfontein Celtic en route to the MTN8 final and what might just be the first trophy of his career as a player or a coach.

Or we could discuss Bafana Bafana’s Tokelo Rantie, who has played just 23 minutes this season for Bournemouth, being South Africa’s major weapon on Saturday after refusing to leave his honeymoon bed last time he was called. 

Instead, I’ve dug this illuminating paragraph out of an article about Mauritania, Bafana Bafana’s next AFCON 2017 qualifying opponents. Feel free to click on the links for confirmation, it's all there on Wikipedia.

Slavery in Mauritania

A system exists now by which Arab Muslims—the bidanes (literal meaning: white skinned people)—own black slaves, the haratines. An estimated 90,000 Mauritanians remain essentially enslaved. According to some estimates, up to 600,000 Mauritanians, or 20% of the population, are still enslaved.

I never thought I’d see ANYTHING like that in the 21st century. I first came across this Mauritanian slavery stuff during the last CHAN tournament here in 2013, but since then I’ve researched a little deeper. It's despicable.

Shakes Mashaba’s South Africa will fly to Nouakchott on Thursday for the Saturday meeting against a nation where abolitionists are actually jailed for speaking out against slavery.

And nobody says a word. We talk about the composition of our Springboks - eight “players of colour” is clearly not enough for a Rugby World Cup after 20 years - and our Proteas - where Kagiso Rabada and Aaron Phangiso appear to share the “African spot” in our cricket team.

But none of this compares to play against a nation which still harbours slavery, surely?

For some weeks on twitter, I’ve been making this point to our Sports Minister Fikile Mbalula, who feels the need to proclaim himself “No 1 Springbok fan” every 5 minutes on SuperSport.

I’ve also tried his deputy, some bloke with an Afrikaans name, not to mention Danny Jordaan, the South African Football Association and other sporting luminaries in our nation, which prides itself on equality and a fairest-of-the-fair constitution.

But nobody is prepared to say a word.

Instead, we will discuss whether Dean Furman, after two games for SuperSport United, is ready to captain South Africa in Nouakchott. Whether Tokelo Rantie will play after 24 minutes for Bournemouth this season.

No, please. This time, the debate over shaky Mashaba’s decision-making can be put to one side. His inconsistent, agent-led selections, his rotation of both goalkeepers and captains, his failure to make adequate substitutions as the game demands.

Let’s ignore, for once, that 2015 AFCON in distinctly undemocratic Equatorial Guinea which left us with one point and the joint-worst record in the tournament. And try to get over the 0-0 home draw against Gambia which opened our AFCON 2017 qualifying effort, perhaps the worst result in the history of our game.

Those COSAFA disasters against Botswana and Malawi, the failure to pick Kamohelo Mokotjo, the appearance of so many of average players even when they aren’t playing for their clubs. Our 72nd place in the world rankings.

Ignore it all.

The point is: We are about to play a nation where people still own slaves. Child labour, sex trafficking, discrimination along tribal and race lines. This is Mauritania.

And we say NOT A WORD. This from a nation which so bravely stood up on the sporting field and declared APARTHEID a four-letter word. We are the nation who MADE sport a political football. And it WORKED.

Please, Mr Mbalula, this is when you stand up for principle, not smug self-promotion. Make a statement, at the very least. Even better, go to Nouakchott and make a speech against this awful practice. The dream: CAF and FIFA will ban this foul nation until they mend their broken nation.

And please, Mr Mashaba, let’s give them a good stuffing on the football field. It's the least we can do.

Goalless and distinctly Shaky: we can't blame Mashaba for missed chances but for everything else: AAAAAARGH!

LAUGHABLE: Mashaba and Jordaan

THE smallest nation on the African continent? Gambia. Even smaller than Swaziland. Population? Under two million. They don’t even have a professional football league at home.

But somehow South Africa’s 55 million must live with the frustration of another goalless draw at the Moses Mabhida Stadium on Saturday against the side currently ranked 160 in the world.

And all this after those appalling 0-0 draws with Botswana and Malawi at the COSAFA Cup, which BOTH ended in penalty shoot-out defeats. Guess who was hosting that one. Three home games, no goals. Urgh.

And before that? One point at AFCON 2015 after an impressive qualifying campaign under Ephraim “Shakes” Mashaba. We haven’t scored since the first half of our last game in Equatorial Guinea, where South Africa left with the equal-poorest record in the tournament.

Some insect species have lived an etire life-time, born, married, had kids and taken a pension since South Africa last won a competitive football match under the guidance of the man who insisted we would win AFCON 2015 and might still win the World Cup in 2018. Bollocks of course.

Sadly, in his lucid moments, the man now known as Shaky is also forced to repeat the same dull mantra tried endlessly by his predecessors. “We should have scored three or four in the last 15 minutes. If we’d done that, we’d be talking something different after the game.”

Yes Shaky, you’re right. But we’ve been saying that for years now. Mashaba goes a step further: “It’s not just a national team problem, it’s a South African problem, no team in the country scores goals.”

That’s simply not true. We cannot blame Mashaba for the glaring misses from Thabo Matlaba and Thuso Phala on Saturday, but we CAN ask about his selection policy.

After taking a look at the PSL’s top scorers Moeketsi Sekola (Free State Stars, 14), Lerato Lamola (Bloemfontein Celtic, 13) and Puleng Tlolane (Polokwane City, 11) and NFD goal-getter Phumelela Bhengu (22 for Thanda Royal Zulu), Shaky went in to the opening AFCON 2017 qualifier with a whole new forward line.

Inexplicably, Bonginkosi Ntuli, Vuyisile Wana and Gift Motupa were suddenly elevated to stardom, alongside Tokelo Rantie, who got married last Saturday.

Predictably, Rantie – who played 128 minutes in TOTAL for promoted Bournemouth last season, never turned up. The honeymoon was clearly too good to cut short. Kermit Erasmus, with 15 goals in all competitions for Orlando Pirates this season, went public on twitter to tell us he wasn’t a back up player. And he was on holiday in Holland.

So Mashaba plumped for Thamsanqa Gabuza, who scored three times for Pirates in the Confederations Cup against some outfit from Gabon after the season closed. During the actual PSL season, Gabuza failed to score a league goal while Erasmus and Lehlohonolo Major netted 18 between them.

And when it came to match day, Mashaba promptly ignored the other strikers chosen in the squad and plumped for Gabuza.

It makes no sense to do that. It de-motivates the players picked for the original 23 and leads mischievous journalists to believe some players are only slipped in to the squad to please certain agents.

It’s not just up front that Mashaba dithers. It's all over the field; often he calls up players who haven't even been playing regularly for their clubs, often on the advice of a friendly agent. Oh, and he likes to rotate goalkeepers and captaincy too, insisting: "What does a captain do anyway except toss the coin at the start of the game?"

Just look at the lack of leadership on Saturday, the lack of drive, urgency. But it's more. His substitutions on Saturday, as Gambia ran out of steam in their first competititive match since being banned for U20 age cheating in 2014, were laughable.

He whipped off Gabuza, the only real striker, and shoved on Thuso Phala, who promptly put a glorious chance straight in to the arms of the Gambian goalkeeper from six yards.

In the end, man of the match Thabo Matlaba had the best chances from left back, one well saved, the other fluffed high in to the Durban night sky.

Shaky says international selection has to be about consistency and form. But he leaves FC Twente’s Kamohelo Mokotjo – picked as the central midfielder in the Dutch Ere Divisie’s team of the season – at home, while picking Ayanda Patosi and the “banned” May Mahlangu.

It’s inexplicable. It’s obvious. This is a man who laughs off preparation, insisting he doesn't like spying on future opponents. This is a man who admits he's a motivator, not a tactician. A shouter not a thinker. 

But I've said all this and nobody listened. And the truth is, we have to give Shakes some breaks. SAFA are far too busy with the current FIFA allegations to deal with another Bafana Bafana coaching change. And Dean Furman, Tower Mathoho, Tefu Mashamaite and Rantie made last week pretty difficult.

We keep the faith. Group M has a long way to go. Cameroon and Mauritania will be touge than Gambia. The friendly against Angola could be disastrous. Yet we must believe in our coach and his unusual, often eccentric methods.

But please, Shaky… just this once. Let’s pick our strongest players FROM THE START.