SHAKY'S DROOPY DRAWS: The Bafana Bafana verdict... and a word for Dean Furman

FURMIDABLE: Dean Furman scored Bafana's goal

"It was a silly goal to give away. But there is no need to cry over spilt milk. Overall, I think we had things under control after surviving an early onslaught early in the first half. But having grown in confidence, I think we could have scored a famous away win" Ephraim "Shakes" Mashaba

IT takes a special talent to let three vital World Cup points slip when you’re 1-0 up in Burkina Faso after the home team have missed two penalties. But South Africa’s Ephraim “Shakes” Mashaba has that ability. Never doubt it.

Remember AFCON 2015 when Bafana Bafana were ahead in all three games but came away with one point? Yup, Mashaba’s got a knack for this sort of thing.

On Saturday in Ouagadougou, Shaky - who should never have survived after his awful AFCON 2017 qualifying failure - and our comparatively blessed Bafana Bafana were struggling. No plan, nothing wide, Keagan Dolly lost in a bizarre tactical quagmire and Eleazar Rodgers desperately trying to make his presence felt on his own up front.

It was not a great night for South Africa. An hour before kick-off the nation’s once-feared rugby Springboks had lost 57-15 to New Zealand’s All Blacks, conceding nine tries and scoring none.

We hoped for better from Mashaba’s much-maligned Bafana Bafana and when the ageless custodian Itumeleng Khune saved an unwarranted early penalty from Jonathan Pitroipa, hope sprung eternal.

SHAKY: Mashaba after the draw in Ougoudougou

But in truth, Burkina Faso, with a dodgy referee, are a tough nut to crack at home. With Senegal and the Capo Verde Islanders to come, anything less than a draw would have been disastrous with only the five CAF group WINNERS qualifying for Russia’s 2018 World Cup.

Rodgers, in for the curiously absent Tokelo Rantie, had a couple of chances. So did Mamelodi Sundowns African Champions League finalist Hlompho Kekana. At the back, with Rivaldo Coetzee injured, Tower Mathoho - after the death of his brother - looked out of sorts, his handball offering the Burkinabians hope from the spot.

By half-time, the former Chelsea, Rangers, Oldham Athletic and Doncaster Rovers midfielder Dean Furman - who left for Britain from Cape Town as a nursery school kid - was subjected to widespread nastiness from South Africans on social media. The only pale outfielder picked by Mashaba was being castigated for failing to pull his weight in a midfield that was visibly struggling.

At half-time, I felt the need to point out Furman was doing the job in the midfield, unlike some in the Bafana team - and that he has been our most consistent performer over the past four years, despite being dropped from the squad regularly since Gordon Igesund’s departure for no apparent reason.

And when the SuperSport United midfielder popped up to score what should have been the winner it was a moment which lifted our Rainbow Nation - Furman and I often exchange messages when times are hard. He has never been less than wholehearted in his approach, on and off the field.

It should have, could have, been the victorious icing on a very poorly constructed cake.

But with a win looming Oupa Manyisa, the Orlando Pirates captain who has done little for the Buccaneers since returning from injury. missed an easy chance to make it 2-0 and then gave away ANOTHER penalty after coming on for Dolly.

The second penalty was clear-cut, Mathoho’s first half handball had been marginal. Manyisa's tackle in the box was that of a rank amateur given the situation. But the experienced Alain Traore sent his spot kick so far over the bar you might have glimpsed it over Gauteng had the first rains of summer not crept over the horizon.

But still, somehow, in those final seconds, there was time for Bouna Diawara to produce an injury-time equaliser, dashing South Africa’s hopes of opening their World Cup campaign with a win for the first time since Stuart Baxter was in charge over a decade ago.

With SAFA president Danny Jordaan threatening Mashaba’s job security after the 1-1 draw against Mauritania last month, the word is that Shaky will go if he doesn’t get four points in his opening two World Cup qualifiers.

That means he has to beat a substantial Senegal side at home on November 7. The intervening clash against Ghana this week is meaningless, though Shaky loves a friendly win.

Okay, we’re told locusts, bees, visa problems and Rantie’s ungrateful no-show didn’t help Bafana this week. 

But given Mashaba’s inability to hold on to a lead, his lack of tactical acumen, bizarre selection process and clueless substitutions, surely Jordaan, who failed to beat a man called Athol in the NMB mayoral race, must act. The nation deserves better.

Why Shaky is going nowhere fast: the sad tale of South African football

Head man: Shakes Mashaba

ALL hope is lost. Well, just about. There is actually a complicated list of results which could still see battered Bafana Bafana get to AFCON 2017 in Gabon.

But it’s a helluva long-shot. Only Ghana managed to get through to Equatorial Guinea in 2015 with 11 points out of seven group winners. Everybody else topped their groups with 12, 13, 14 or even a perfect 18 points.

The most South Africa can get after their frustrating 0-0 draw against an unambitious Cameroon in Durban last week? NINE POINTS. 

Somehow, if Cameroon and Mauritania contrive to fall over before the line from here, Shaky - as he is now known - might still get through on goal difference if Bafana beat Gambia away and Mauritania at home.

So yes, Mr Mashaba, you’re right. “Our AFCON 2017 campaign is looking darker and darker” but there is a tiny loophole of light.

But it’s the way Shaky tells it that lacks a certain professionalism. A crass mixture of arrogance and denialism never did anybody much good. Ask our president.

Mashaba was waxing lyrical about his chances of making it to Gabon as one of two best runners-up in the group. Again, that will probably require 11 points. But when that was put to him at the press conference, Mashaba responded rudely, asking “who’s view is more important here, yours or mine?”.

The attitude is not new. Mashaba got his son Thabo to ask questions when his imminent failure began to become an acceptable topic last year. And then there was the time he told us: “I’m going to be rude — I think my colour is a problem here. That’s what I’m going to say.”

All patent nonsense of course. Gordon Igesund and a string of Brazilians took far more stick far earlier in their reigns. 

The problem with Mashaba is not his arrogance or his colour. It’s his utter failure to select in-form national squads, his inability to hold on to a lead, his blindness to quick substitutions and... well... South Africa’s general footballing demise over the past 18 months.

Going back to the 2-2 draw in Nigeria in 2014 - which capped off an unbeaten qualification campaign for AFCON 2015 - Shaky has presided over EIGHT African Cup of Nations fixtures. Of those, five were drawn, three were lost... and not a single one has been won.

We left AFCON 2015 with one point. Then came COSAFA and CHAN failures, bracketed by the Group M debacle we now find ourselves embroiled in. A home draw with Gambia was unexpected. Defeat in Mauritania simply unacceptable.

Though Mashaba started his qualifying campaign in 2014 by picking youngsters in line with SAFA president’s VISION2022 programme, by the time AFCON 2015 came around he was doing the usual Bafana boss thing: picking players suggested by his favourite agents, some of whom weren’t even playing for their clubs.

Ignoring in-form players - to the point where he actually accused our one few top-level regular European players he was "too heavy". Going for older and older players and ignoring the Vision2022 blueprint. 

Dennis Mumble, the curious little man who went from Team Manager to CEO at SAFA in the space of four years, insists after the recent qualifying debacle: “The judgement process is already underway. We do not want to react with a knee-jerk.

“We do have the option of telling Mashaba “listen this is not going to work” (before World Cup qualifying begins with the draw in June) but we still have confidence in our head coach.”

Sadly then, and this is a national trend, our leadership will stay intact despite obvious, critical failure at the highest level.

When Mashaba told us after failing at home against Cameroon: “If we play like this we will qualify for the World Cup” his shortcomings were revealed in a sentence.

When I was discussing Kamohelo Mokotjo's complaints in the Dutch newspaper De Telegraaf today, I got four or five calls from interesting sources in the South African game talking about life under Mashaba.

One, an agent, told me Mashaba only deals with "local agents" and that he gets kickbacks for picking them in his squads. We've been there before. Hard to prove, easy to suggest looking at the continual selection of players who attend club games armed with cushions.

Then there was the former Bafana player revealing how Mashaba's training camps are "like amateur night" and that general chaos surrounds a call up to the South African team. Missed flights, team meetings where Mashaba is an hour late, the time in Latin America where the players stayed in bunk beds while Shaky flew home on the first flight to coach the Nedbank Keyona team.

Or how about the coach who said: "When Shaky suffered a few withdrawals before the Cameroon games, he didn't have any numbers to call replacements. They were scrambling about trying to find somebody, anybody.

"There is no communication with SAFA, there are international players who have not heard from Mashaba since he took over. Others who are called to the squad but just get ignored for a week. We've even had players called up... and then told not to come."

Then, from my mole at SAFA House, THIS: "A senior official told Mashaba to try to be more relaxed with the media. He just laughed. It was suggested he should stand aside for the World Cup qualifiers but he just shrugged his shoulders."

Reading between the lines of this morning's calls, it appears - like our president Jacob Zuma - there is NOTHING that would make Mashaba leave his lucrative leadership role.

With money coming in from SAFA, his expenses, Nedbank and so-called "other sources", Mashaba is earning more than our top PSL coaches for doing a lot less and achieving next to nothing.

One player told me this morning: "He barely talks to some of the squad, particularly the overseas players. He has his favourites. There are agents everywhere. The team talks are a joke, some of us can't even understand what he's saying. He makes references to Apartheid and the struggle, but we have no idea what to do when we go down the tunnel.

"Sometimes he just shrugs and says "I know nothing about the opposition" which isn't great 10 minutes before a vital game."

The clincher for me was from the SAFA House mole: "Mashaba appoints more and more people around him without even asking the Executive. He does as he pleases. He doesn't turn up for meetings if he thinks it's going to go badly for him.

"He doesn't listen when we offer advice, he says: "I know how this works. I know all about how SAFA works" then he simply walks away."

The suggestion - from a series of unsolicited callers/emailers which I obviously can't name - being: SAFA can't fire Shaky because he knows too much. He holds the power. Certainly sounded that way to me.

But it’s not just Shaky is it? We live in a nation where crowd figures and transfer fees are top secret. Three of our four representatives are out of continental club competition. Our referees are as poor as our strikers and Kaizer Chiefs, the nation’s favourite club, haven’t scored in five games.

Mumble himself has admitted SAFA is essentially bankrupt, spending R500m a year with an annual income of R300m - and then they turned to penniless national carrier SAA for help! Danny Jordaan has gone from telling me South African football was his one driving ambition to taking the mayoral role in Port Elizabeth and telling us: “Football is just a hobby for me.”

The only bright point? Zimbabwe, packed with PSL stars, SHOULD get to Gabon. At least we’ll have something to cheer about in 2017.

GOING TO POT: how the CAF World Cup qualifiers should pan out. And why the groups are so tough this time

Headed for 2018: Russian World Cup is heading our way

FROM dramatic comebacks to routine hammerings, the last round of CAF World Cup qualifiers eventually threw up the usual suspects for the group stages in the battle to qualify for Russia 2018.

Giant-threatening Botswana and Swaziland came close, but eventually Mali and Nigeria asserted their second leg dominance. Algeria destroyed Tanzania 7-0 and South Africa... well they did what was needed against Angola. Job done. Home and away. 

If Angola, ranked 99, had made it, they would have been second only to Libya as the lowest ranked side through to the group stages.

Though widely maligned, the FIFA rankings have got it nearly spot on with 18 of the best ranked nations making it - Equatorial Guinea (15) and Liberia (20) were the exceptions.

Only Burkina Faso and Libya managed to reach next year's draw (June 24, 2016) for those final five groups of four from outside the continent's top 20 ranked nations.

Based on current FIFA rankings, this is how the seeded pots would look, though things may change before the draw next June. One side from each pot will be drawn in each group, giving us FIVE groups. In 2014 qualifying, CAF opted for FORTY teams in 10 groups with play-off AFTER the group stages.

I've listed the 20 nations with CAF ranking first, FIFA ranking in brackets:

POT 1 (Africa's top five all made it):

1 Cote D'Ivoire (22)

2 Algeria (26)

3 Ghana (30)

4 Cape Verde Islands (32)

5 Senegal (39)

POT 2 (Africa's top ten all made it)

6 Tunisia (41)

7 Cameroon (51)

8 Congo (52)

9 Guinea (53)

10 DRC (55)

POT 3 (Missing: Equatorial Guinea, 69)

11 Egypt (57)

12 Nigeria (59)

13 Mali (63)

14 Uganda (68)

16 Zambia (71)

POT 4 (Effectively, the outsiders)

17 Gabon (73)

18 South Africa (75)

19 Morocco (79)

22 Burkina Faso (93)
33 Libya (113)

So from here, we can work out probable best and worst case scenarios for our beloved Bafana Bafana, who - thanks to the charitable Angolans - have given national head coach Shakes Mashaba his first competitive wins THIS YEAR. Since the draw against Nigeria in the final qualifier for AFCON 2015 where Mashaba reigned unbeaten, this is the problem:

LOST 1-3 to Algeria (AFCON 2015)

DREW 1-1 with Senegal (AFCON 2015)

LOST 1-2 to Ghana (AFCON2015)

LOST to Botswana (penalty shoot-out after 0-0 draw, COSAFA Cup)

LOST to Malawi (penalty shoot-out after 0-0 draw, COSAFA Cup)

DREW 0-0 with Gambia (AFCON 2017 qualifying)

LOST 1-3 to Mauritania (AFCON 2017 qualifying)

With Cameroon home and away to come next March, our AFCON 2017 qualifying hopes look grim. Without six points from those two games, Group M could be a hopeless cause for Shaky. Here's the current table: 

CURRENT GROUP M TABLE

1 Cameroon 2 2 0 0 2 0 2 6

2 Mauritania 2 1 0 1 3 2 1 3

3 Gambia 2 0 1 1 0 1 -1 1

4 South Africa 2 0 1 1 1 3 -2 1

Given this sort of form, none of the options are going to be easy, believe me. In nine competitive games this year (we won't include home-based CHAN, where we were knocked out by Angola last month) Bafana have only managed those two wins against Angola.

The toughest possible group for Bafana Bafana would consist of Afcon champs Ivory Coast (ranked above Algeria), Tunisia and Egypt. Many would argue Algeria, with just two of their squad not born and groomed in France, would be a better option than Cote d'Ivoire

The best possible grouping for Mashaba, but by no means easy, would be: Senegal, Democratic Republic of Congo and Zambia. All six group qualifiers will take place between October 2016 and November 2017. We have time to prepare.

There is no easy march to Russia. Napoleon Bonaparte realised that 200 years ago. But for African football, with only five nations qualifying from 53, it's as tough as it ever was.

Sepp Blatter is Superman. Pass me the Krytonite, Danny Jordaan.

“Sepp Blatter is Superman.” That’s what some bloke called (deep breath) Liutauras Varanavicius told England's Daily Telegraph as he arrived in Zurich for today's FIFA Presidency vote. Lit, as I like to call him, is the president of the mighty Lithuanian Football Association.

Inside the footballing halls of power, Blatter greeted the 208 members of his footballing congress by confirming he is, by a remarkable twist of FIFA fate, the only candidate after Qatar’s suspended representative Mohamed Bin Hammam withdrew on Sunday.

Yes, Bin Hammam. The man who persuaded FIFA his tiny, overheated, oily emirate should be awarded the 2022 World Cup ahead of mighty Australia last December.

Jack Warner, the CONCACAF bloke who is also currently suspended, has blown the lid on Blatter’s over-long reign. He showed us an email from Blatter’s oily henchman Jerome Valcke which said “Qatar cannot buy the FIFA Presidency like they did the World Cup.”

Bosh. Done. Blatter’s reign must end. The decision to go ahead with Russia 2018 and Qatar 2022 must be reviewed.

Both the English and Scottish FAs earlier today called on FIFA to delay Blatter’s one-man election – but with Lithuanians and the like around, it just ain’t going to happen to Superman.

Unless Michael Platini, the head of UEFA, can be persuaded to run – or perhaps Danny Jordaan, the South African who ran the 2010 show so well - we may just have to accept another four years of Septic Blatter, 75, who has been in charge of the world game since 1998.

The FA statement insisted: “An external party should be appointed to improve governance of FIFA.”

Anti-corruption watchdog Transparency International joined the chorus, with Sylvia Schenk, their senior advisor on Sport, saying: "Free and fair elections cannot take place when there is a suspicion that voters may have been swayed. Fifa delegates know that they must clean house if their vote is to have legitimacy."

Stewart Regan, chief executive officer of the Scottish FA, said his organisation wanted the vote postponed for three to six months while there was an independent review into the matter.

He said: “Things are changing on an hourly basis so we’ll decide as close to the vote as possible about what well do with our vote.”

Delays? Independent reviews? Preposterous. Blatter would never allow it.

The sad old dictator who frantically waved his ethics booklet around when verbally savaged by journalists in Monday night’s classic press conference opened his congress last night by saying: “I thought that we were living in a world of fair play, mutual respect and discipline, and I must say this is not the case any.

“It’s no longer the case because our pyramid of Fifa is suddenly unstable on its basis and there’s a danger.”

At least he’s admitting that much. The night before he was insisting there was no crisis and telling us to be elegant and respectful.

Blatter, standing for a fourth term in his personal FIFAdom, said he would speak to delegates tomorrow, is reported to have told the English Daily Telegraph he will be telling his delegates today “about this danger that’s lurking and tell you how we can fight and react to this threat.”

But football can take guidance from that other famously troubled international sporting body, the International Olympic Committe. Their president, Jacques Rogge (pictured with Blatter above), took the chance to tell FIFA’s delegates: “Thirteen years ago we were having to face the same ordeal in the Salt Lake City case. The IOC ultimately emerged a stronger organisation, and from within. Our past calls for humility, and I will definitely not point the finger or lecture you. I’m sure FIFA can emerge stronger, and from within.”

We can only pray that happens. I'm not holding my breath.

Who the hell is Neal Collins (nealcol on Twitter)? See www.nealcollins.co.uk.